April 18, 2009
Matt Peddycord
The Powerdriver Review

WCW Monday Nitro
February 12, 1996
Tampa, FL
Florida State Fair

The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Ric Flair (2/11/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Konnan (1/29/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Sting & Lex Luger (1/22/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Johnny B. Badd (10/29/1995)

Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and that Emmy-award winning Steve “Mongo” McMichael.

Funny how they don’t show any stills from the Hogan/Giant match last night except for Hogan’s hand being raised as the winner.

Randy Savage vs. Hugh Morrus
Savage debuts his new look with a ragged ‘Macho Man’ t-shirt and has traded his cowboy hat for a bandana, which is basically Hogan’s look only with bright colors instead of the tie-dye. These two go back and forth raking each other’s eyes and choking one another. They go to the floor where Savage makes Morrus eat the ringpost. Back inside, Morrus counters a suplex and head up top for NO LAUGHING MATTER (moonsault). Savage moves out of the way and lands not one, but TWO MACHO ELBOWS for the win. (4:52) Savage wants to give him another Macho Elbow because he’s SO insanely pissed after what happened to him the night before at Superbrawl, but Morrus rolls away to safety before any more bad can happen. ¾*

Gene Okerlund gets a word with the WCW car driver: Steve Grissom. Don’t watch NASCAR, so I couldn’t care less. It’s not important anyway.

Loch Ness (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Scotty Riggs
Loch Ness – well, he’s extremely OBESE. That’s all you need to know. Scotty Riggs tries some missile dropkicks because that’s about all he can do. Loch Ness brushes them off and then fails catching Riggs when he tries a flying bodypress and falls on top of the poor guy. He’s already a part of American Males! GIVE THIS GUY A BREAK! Anyways, two super huge sucking wind elbow drops secure the win for ol’ Loch Ness. (1:08) Sir, you can’t park your van in the ring. Wait, that’s not a van. It’s LOCH NESS! CRAP

We head over to Gene Okerlund who is standing by with Woman and Elizabeth who have wheeled a gurney out from the Nitro set. There’s a guy underneath a white sheet. What’s that about?! Liz says that last night, Randy promised that somebody was leaving the building on a gurney. It took them 24 hours to make it happen, but Ric Flair is on a gurney! Flair sits up and hops out of the gurney to tell us that he was just taking a little cat nap. Hahaha. Flair goes in his crazy old man routine and brags about Space Mountain while grabbing his ladies. Liz explains why she split from Savage. She says that he was too crazy for him. While she took half of everything in the divorce, she took it all last night when she took the belt away from him and gave it to the NATCHA BOY! WOO! What’s causin’ all this?

WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion Konnan vs. Devon Storm
If I remember correctly, Devon Storm was still being trained at the Power Plant and now he gets his big primetime shot to be on the flagship show. Apparently they don’t teach you about interacting with the crowd, because Storm does his spots and pays no attention to anybody. He’s fast though, I’ll give him that. Storm dropkicks Konnan to the floor and takes forever finding a chair underneath the apron. He sets it up in the ring and levels Konnan with a somersault plancha off the chair. Back on the floor, Storm sits Konnan in the chair and jumps off the ringside steps only to be caught for a powerbomb on the floor. Back in the ring, Konnan delivers a pair of headscissors takedowns. He follows up with a wheelbarrow armdrag, then counters Storm with a wheelbarrow suplex. Konnan gets the crowd going a little bit and dumps Storm with a one-armed powerbomb. They trade some leg submissions, which ends with Storm reaching the ropes. Storm comes back with a springboard leg lariat and a sunset flip powerbomb off the apron, which is then countered into a headscissors by Konnan! Meanwhile, Bischoff is apologizing for joking about the WWF having something to do with the power going off during last week’s show. Back in, Konnan blocks a hurracanrana with a powerbomb for 1-2-3. (5:20) This would have been a lot better had it not been so botchy. **½

Coming up on TNT after Nitro, you want to see tough? You want to see Brigitte Nielsen. I mean, she’s like the toughest warden you’ll ever see. And I hope you won’t see too many wardens, if you know what I mean. Stay tuned for Chained Heat II!

Hulk Hogan vs. Arn Anderson (w/Woman)
Oh snap, we see a “Bischoff is Satan” sign right at the bell. I just now noticed that. Hogan NO-SELLS everything Arn tries and dishes out his usual offense. Arn tries to sucker Hogan out on the floor for a piledriver, but Hogan counters and catapults Arn into the ringpost. Hogan takes off his eye bandage, which becomes important as the match progresses. Back inside, it’s more of the same with Hogan up to his usual tactics like choking, back rakes, and clotheslines. Arn finally gets a break as he catches Hogan with a back elbow RIGHT IN HIS EYE. And it begins. Here comes Ric Flair and Elizabeth to cheer on AA. Arn nails Hogan with a Spinebuster. This time Hogan sells it! Yes! Cover, 1-2-NO! Hogan presses Arn off him and begins to HULK UP! Three punches and the Big Boot follows. Hogan spots Flair and instead of hitting the Legdrop, he struts around and slaps on the figure-four on Arn! Flair runs in to stop it and gets cradled up by Hogan. WHAT. Hogan releases the hold and punches Flair out of the ring. Meanwhile, Woman has some powder in her hands. BAM! She throws a handful right in Hulk’s open wound! Of course the ref misses ALL of this and doesn’t suspect a thing when there’s powder still in the air. While ref Nick Patrick admonishes Woman, Flair hands Arn Liz’s shoe to KO Hogan again. It worked for Flair and it works for Arn as he gets the 1-2-3! YES! (9:16) All these years of Hogan destroying everybody, and all they needed to do was blast him in the eye with a high-heel shoe. **

Afterwards, Randy Savage runs down to clear the ring of the Horsemen. Okerlund gets in the ring with the Mega Powers for an interview while Flair and Arn head over to the announce table. Flair rips off Bischoff’s headset and brags about destroying Hulkamania AGAIN. Arn says he beat Hogan once, and he can do it again. That’s when the Mega Powers give up on their in-ring interview and chase the Horsemen and Bobby Heenan away from the announce table. Hogan accepts the rematch with Arn while Savage can’t wait for his title rematch with Flair next week. Pretty hot ending to an otherwise dull show. AND WE OUT!