In a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings a land in turmoil cried out for a hero…She was Chyna, a mighty she-he, forged in the heat of low blows and flying elbows. The power, the passion the danger…her courage will whoop some scrawny ass!

Chyna, now aided by a fierce warrior with stupid sayings, the Rock, is poised for action against Taker, Tori and evil spawn. X-Pac has quite strangely gone missing, as has Kane, whom appears to be quite the wanted man on Mt. Sexy Boy. And little does Chyna know, her ex sidekick/lover/brother/worst enemy is bacckkk. Hunter Hearst Helmsley!!!

Syxx trudged through the wild wilderness, thoroughly pissed off with the Taker but more pissed with the fact that he had to wear these horrible little green trunks, oh they were awful. And locating Kane wasn’t going to be fun, just where did a sick freak spend his spare time these days? He stomped out of the woods and into a small village…yes, he recognized this one, this is the one where he and Chyna had the small altercation. The Kingdom of Ass, wasn’t it? Yessss…suddenly having a rather wicked little thought, he decided to lay off the search for the frizzled little brother and made his way to Billy’s fortress…he had a proposition to make…

Chyna walked through the doors of a small, rowdy little tavern on the far side of the Corporate Kingdom where she intended to sit down at take a break before she kicked ass. The moment she had taken a step through the entrance a mug of swill came hurtling through the room and shattered inches from her head, an extremely odd looking man followed by another strange looking man were quite festively beating the living crap out of all the other drinkers.

“Hey D-D-D-D-Von, Looky what I f-f-f-f-f-found.” The fat one cried, grabbing the bar maid by the hair and giving her a good shake. All of a sudden a blonde dude came hurtling through the air and smacked the one known as D-Von in the head with a bottle. D-Von fell to the ground.

“Bubba! Arghhh! Testify!” He screamed to his brother. Bubba Ray dropped the bar maid, grabbed yet another guy, this time a dark haired high flier and bashed his head into the wall, again and again and again.

“Um…Chyna.” Kitty said nervously. “Maybe we could…you know, camp in the woods?”

Chyna would have replied but the blond had come flying towards her; she barely stepped out of the way as he made his landing on a table, quite shattering it. He rolled off and attempted to crawl away but Bubba kicked him up the ass and then yanked him up by the hair, lifted him over his head and drove him into the bar counter. And then he noticed Chyna…

“Hey…look at this one!” He said happily. “Let’s get h-h-h-h-her!”

“Get fucked.” Chyna muttered, grabbing her chakram and bashing him in the nose. She then sprung into action, backflipping across the room onto the counter and casually pulling the unfortunate fallen blonde to his feet.

“Name’s Chyna.”

“…Jeff.”

So, Chyna kicked Jeff to the floor, leapt into action and landed neatly in front of D-Von; he swung a balled fist at her, she blocked and replied with one of her own. He staggered backwards, a little stunned as the Rock swaggered up to Bubba and started to perform weird, body thrusting punches later to be defined as the ‘Rocky Punch’. The two smaller men dived right in and sent themselves flipping all over the room while Kitty stood in the sidelines and played the part of cheerleader.

That is, until Bubba broke away from the punch on, lifted Kitty up and planted her through a table…

“You bastard! You total, utter bastard!” Chyna screamed in anguish as her small sidekick rolled around the floor moaning in pain. At once she literally launched herself across the bar using momentum she didn’t even know had and caught Bubba in a hold which could quite accurately be described as a ‘Thigh Clutch’. Bubba’s eyes bulged as she applied more pressure with her well sculpted muscles, bringing him down slowly and shakily to the beer splattered floor. Rocky was quite enjoying himself, doing his weird ass punches upon D-Von, the Blond known as Jeff and the other one taking some well needed rest, leaning on the various broken tables. The battle was short but sharp after that, the Dudleyz lying upon the ground sorry they ever messed with these ‘vicious-when-pissed-off’ people.

“Who…who are you?” Jeff asked, pulling the dark haired one from the ground. “Matt? Speak to me Matt!”

“Name’s Chyna…” Chyna turned and pulled her poor, mangled sidekick up from the shattered remains of the table. “This is Kitty, Road Dogg and…sorry, I’ve forgotten your name…”

“Rock, for the tenth time…” The Rock muttered. Chyna shrugged.

“Rock…” Chyna tried to rouse Kitty by flinging a glass of ancient scotch in her face. She came back around coughing a spluttering, then a small grin formed on her face as she began to quickly lick the strong alcohol from her lips. Chyna shook her head. “We’re chasing a deranged, somewhat scrawny spawn of darkness who goes by the name of Syxx…seen him?”

“Nope…” Jeff shrugged. “This is my brother Matt…we brawl here every Friday.” Rock raised his fine eyebrow, but Jeff shrugged. “We’re creatures of habit.”

“Fine, fine…” Chyna put her arms around the brothers and smiled grimly. “How would you like to give me a hand , boys…” She propped up her breast plates and smiled. “Or two…”

“Whatcha got on your mind, Chyna?” Matt asked with a stupid smile. Chyna tapped her nose knowingly, then shoved them all out of her way, her voice stern.

“I am officially commandeering this bar in the name of all that is holy. It will know be known as outpost Chyna-Alpha 1. This will be our first station of attack…get these two inbred brothers of the ground and fix them up with some uniforms…they will be our foot soldiers. Matt, Jeff…get some weapons, you will be our lookouts and defense.” She paused for breath. “Rock, you will be my second in command…I shall call you number one.”

“But…The Rock’s name is…”

“It doesn’t matter what your name is!” Chyna snapped with a certain amount of glee. “I am in command here, and I’ll call you whatever I damn like. Road Dogg, you will be our scout, and by that I mean you will get your ass on a horse and find some more soldiers for my army. Kitty, you can be the healer, grave digger, whatever, for when the war starts and people start getting brutally murdered. Understood?” Kitty nodded nervously. Chyna flipped the hair off her face, and hopped on to the bar top. “You…bar maids, hos, you will be our inspiration! You will provide us with grog and pleasant exchange, and you will use your…uh, other many assets to lure in the enemy! To arms, to arms, we stand and fight! Oh, and Road Dogg, please find Kane…gods knows what they could use him for.”

Syxx smiled slightly as Billy Gunn served small pasties for lunch, interested in this offer for power. Yes, this egotistical bastard could be very useful, his lust for power would eventually be his undoing, but served as a stepping stone for his success.

“So…X-Pac, what have you come to discuss…?” Billy asked, crossing his legs as he sat on the golden couch. Syxx shuddered…gods he hated that stupid name, but hid it with a pleasant expression.

“Hmmm…well, I was actually offering that our two kingdoms join forces. That the D-Generate and the Ass kingdoms join to form…one really big one.”

“Really?” Billy dropped his pastie in his lap, but didn’t notice. “That’s a lot of land!”

“Indeed it is…” Syxx grinned evilly. “All I need from you is your cooperation, that’s it. You can move in today, all I need is the use of your…rather large army for the afternoon.”

“That’s it?” Billy choked. “Deal!” They shook hands, Billy flushing with excitement. Syxx grinned and they left the room, headed outside where his army was waiting. Syxx hissed under his breath; it was seriously depleted, and after some recall remembered he was the one who had killed most of them. No matter, he would send them to each province in search of Kane.

“Ta…” he muttered under his breath, and then quickly gave them their orders…

Kane had found himself in a spot of bother, what, being surrounded by very annoyed cave dwellers from the uncharted lands of Nitro. Their leader, who went by the name of Ric Flair, was a large, white haired, excitable barbarian, and a second rate one at that. Vince could have really whooped his ass if he felt in the mood. And Ric’s heir apparent was nothing on Shane McMahon either, David was a little fool with really bad hair. Kane begun to consider if he was in the evil parallel universe, because the Nitro Kingdoms were just blatant rip offs of everything he knew and held dear, perhaps he had found himself at the Nexus of the Universe or something. Ho hum.

“Woooooo! Get outta my land, you big red whatsit!” Ric squealed aggressively, his small pathetic son hopping up and down behind him. Kane looked them both up and down for a few seconds, and making the quick decision that Ric was a dickhead, grabbed him by the throat and flung him smack bang into feeble David. Ric began wailing his ‘wooo’ even louder, which brought a large, badly tanned balding old dude loping out of a cave, most notably he looked like Billy Gunn…a really ancient version of Billy Gunn. Kane winced slightly, almost blinded by that tan, as Hulk ran at him, screaming obscenities. Kane shrugged then and punched him in the head, defeating him. Kane sighed and then turned away and began walking off, these people were just too sad.

But no! Kane was then set upon by a vicious Rey Mysterio Jr. who did a little lamby leap at him, so Kane felt it quite necessary to really hurt him. With ridiculous ease caught him with one hand and then flung him ala Taker…unfortunately he did not shish-ka-bab on a tree, but you can’t win all the time. Rey crawled away, Kane decided that it was now really time for him to leave, and so off he went. Ric began his crazy ‘WOOOO’ call once more and set then entire WCW troglodyte community upon the Big Red Machine…Kane sighed, turned and picked up a log, and with a mighty throw, he sent it hurtling towards them. Three Count hadn’t a chance, and after they fell were trampled to death anyway. When Konnan saw them fall he became quite excited and dragged their bodies excitedly towards a large pot, Rey bounding behind him.

“You come here, I feed you meat!” Konnan declared to his lil buddy. Rey hopped up and down in glee. Kane winced at the behavior of this species, he now felt inclined to wipe them all off the face of the Earth, and so, he charged them and hit Kidman and Sting with a double clothesline. Into the pot they went. Dropkick to Sidvicious. Chokeslam to Buff. Meng, The Steiner brothers, DDP, Alex Wright and Bam Bam Bigelo all fell to his fists. Down went an already pissed Scott Hall. Van Hammer soared high and fast into Curt Henning. Kane was standing victorious…

All that stood between him and leaving this little hellhole was Goldberg, Kevin Nash and a really jacked up Aysa. Goldberg came bounding at him, his pecks jiggling dangerously, looking focused, a complete killing machine…the ultimate challenge…

Kane knocked him down with one punch. He rolled away.

Kevin Nash then gave it his best shot, but Kane caught him in a back body drop…and unfortunately he fell down a sheer cliff face that just conveniently happened to be there. Kane looked down nervously and was not really ready for Asya’s nasty attack, as a matter of fact she speared him…they both staggered backwards…Kane just managed to keep his balance. He looked at this jacked up she-he in dismay; she looked at him and snarled…both froze as they felt the cliff crumbling beneath them…they tumbled down the ravine…