Currently, Benoit is one of the biggest break through stars in the WWF. He is also what is known as a baby face, face, or the “good-guy”. Now, for the better part of a year, Benoit was a heel and a darn good one at that. Deep down inside, there must be a little voice begging him to do evil. But how can he appease that voice off camera, while still being a face on camera? Below are just a few suggestions.

1. Break into people’s houses while they are away, take out all of the sodas in the refrigerator, shake them up, and then put them back. When people go for a nice refreshing beverage, it will be flat!

2. Puppies are cute. So are kittens. Cute=good. Cute also equals sweet. Sweet things taste good.

3. The “Little Prince of Pop” Aaron Carter has been begging for an autograph for months. Why not go deliver one in person? Act all friendly, and demand to hear all of his songs. On the fifteenth time he says “baby”, excuse yourself and start to leave. When he starts to shake your hand, grab him by the arm, drag him into the Crossface, and sing heavy metal songs off key while he writhes in pain. BWAHAHA

4. Move to Dexter, Missouri, and join the local fair board. When the local parade comes around, kick the local marching band out of the parade for trespassing on public property. Then say Annabeth Miller is your hero.

5. Join Vince McMahon in a stirring rendition of “Stand Back” at a local orphanage.

6. While in Canada, reveal to the world that instead of Chris, you were actually born as Joe. Then go into a long monologue about all the stereotypes Americans think of when they think of Canada. Then at the very end, shout the words, “My name is Joe! And I am Norwegian!” The crowd will be so confused that they will naturally assume Vince Russo is behind it, and brandish their clubs for a good ol’ fashion Canadian beat-down.

7. Beat up a midget.

8. Go to a local restaurant and order the most expensive thing on the menu. (It’s okay, you’re a big star now). When the waitress brings it out to you, send it back, saying, “It’s not round enough.” When she brings it back out, do it again. And again, and again. Then, at the end of the meal, don’t leave a tip. HA HA!

9. Go over to Vince Russo’s house and tell him that he was the greatest thing to happen to wrestling since the Dynamite Kid. Tell him that he is, in fact, better than Dynamite and Ric Flair put together when it comes to work rate and sheer brilliance and understanding of the business. Try not to laugh too hard.

10. Whenever kids ask for your autograph, say that they are mistaken and that you are really Chris Jericho. Then flip them off and give them the Stone Cold Stunner.

11. Given enough incentive and a head start, do you think cats could fly?

12. Dress up in a gawdy hate, and a flashy coat. Then go to book clubs, prayer meetings, and quilting bees. When people ask for your name, say it’s The Godfather.

13. If everybody loves Raymond, then why is his neck so easy to break?

14. Beat up Paul Heyman and steal his clothes. Then put them on (watching out for the bizarre grease stains) and attend booking meetings in his place. Screw with the scripts as much as possible, then sit back and laugh as The Undertaker faces “Estrogen Boy” Steve Austin in a Cambodian Luv Slave Match.

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