June 25, 2000

This week on the Canadian Loonie: Why the WCW sucks!
All right, all right… get off your high horses… the WCW does not totally suck. They might have a few worthwhile performers… I just don’t know who they are… well, I do, but I want to save the best for last… hey you… no jumping ahead on MY column! Sit tight and read the whole thing first. You’ll get the surprise when you read the whole column!
Why do this column? Because I happened to watch a bit of NITRO a few weeks back and I saw something there that made me laugh so hard and it kept nagging at me to write about it. Let me set the scene for you: Goldberg (pre-heel) goes into the ring to save someone from the NEW BLOOD (the WCW version of the new Regime) and he starts cleaning house. YAY AUSTIN WANNABE! Then, the NEW BLOOD takes over and starts beating on Goldberg. As I’m watching Goldberg crouching on the mat, I realize that I’ve seen this scene before. And it wasn’t RAW or on HEAT… I’d seen in on HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS! And it looked better there!
To make a long and boring story short and less boring, let’s just say that Goldberg threw off his opponents and remained the undisputed victor! But seriously… I watch WCW to make myself appreciate the WWF. There’s no other reason. You know, the first time I heard Vince ridicule his main rival by calling them the ‘Dubba-Cee-Dubba-Ya’, I was a bit shocked. Call me a sports entertainment virgin (which I was at the time), but I didn’t know these things were done. Then I watched Nitro and I realized it was okay for Vinnie Mac to ridicule them. Their shows suck!
All right, call me biased but watch Nitro for a few minutes. The whole show and the storylines seem so contrived, so forced. The whole thing with Vince Russo wanting to be David Flair’s father? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And Scott Steiner walking around with those bimbos (Godfather in disguise)? But my fav gimmick has to be 3-Count. It’s as if you were putting Backstreet Boys in the ring, only not as cute.
Basically, the WCW needs to get more solid storylines to back up some of their performers’ talents. Having guys like Hogan and Flair still performing is ridiculous! I watched them on WWF when I was 12… that was close to 14 years ago. Hell, Hogan’s bald spot is starting to wrinkle. If that’s not a sign… NOTHING IS!
Remember the uproar when Russo first left the WWF? When he left the WCW the first time? Didn’t you think it’d be worth something? Didn’t you think they’d do something worthwhile? Well, tough noogies, Russo did shit! And what about the return of Bischoff? Wow! That was unimpressive.
But I don’t think that the WCW is completely without ressources. There are salvageable performers who could do well in the WWF.
1. Diamond Dallas Page: The man has charisma and skill. If he can bring his name and his wife to the WWF, he’d flourish.
2. Mike Awesome: With rumors of Raven coming back to WWF, having them work together again could be very nice, very nice indeed.
3. The boys of 3-Count: Yeah, I poked fun at them but just imagine them in the lightweight division going up against the younger generation of the WWF. The high-flying we would see… the high-flying we could see…
4. Madusa: Because she’s one hell of a wrestler and I would love seeing her fighting Chyna or Lita. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it!
So here we are… you now know why I think the WCW sucks! But then again, I could be wrong!

I’m Kat and that was… MY CANADIAN LOONIE!

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