Tonight, I did something different. I went to the same sports bar and watched the PPV alone and I have to say, I am a total mark. And I love it. So as you read my impressions, bear in mind that I am a mark and that I don’t care!
These are only my impressions, so take it with a grain of salt!
1. Loved the intro to the PPV. The music was great and very à propos. It was a very nice hommage to Freddy Classy and Federico Fellini.
2. RTC vs Rikishi and Too Cool
Could Rikishi be the next Pimp Daddy? I loved the little butt patts to Grand Master Sexay and Scotty Too Hotty. That match was way too short Not enough of Rikishi’s ass and not enough of Steven Richard.
- Disappointment from A to Z.
3. Road Dogg vs X-Pac
I missed hearing those theme songs! It was a good match which allowed us to see the boys show off their trademark moves. Another match that was way too short. X-Pac’s victory was too easy but I like Road Dogg’s payback!
- All right match but not as good as it could have been.
4. Chyna and Eddie Guerrero vs Trish Stratus and Val Venis
I adored Trish’s clothesline on Chyna… very… um… effective? Was I the only one who saw that Chyna’s nylons kept on peeking over the edge of her… panties? Chyna got her title back! Yeah baby!
- I loved it!
5. Tazz vs Jerry The King Lawler
King turns out to be stronger than I thought. The J.R. save made me laugh.
- Disappointment: J.R.’s intervention was the high point of that match.
6. Shane McMahon vs Steve Blackman
Shane is a cowardly motherfucker, running through the crowd like that! I wanna know what Shane heard when he was inside that trash can. At some points during the match, all I could think of were slashy implications, specially when that strap came out. I hated both leaps off that scaffold.
- All right… but nothing to write home about.
7. Chris Y2J Jericho vs Chris Benoît
I was hoping for a Y2K win but oh well. Since Benoît win that Jericho can’t let go of anything, this feud will last some more, which sucks! Both these guys need to fight other people.
- A rather weak match from men who can do so much better.
8. The Dudleyz vs the Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian
The nut shot to Edge - I fear there will be no children in his future. Jeff’s butt had to hurt after that jump off the turnbuckle, over the ladder and onto the mat. That was one hell of a Canadian-ladder sandwich! I got a feeling that when Jeff and Buh-Buh went through those tables, they saw tables and ladders, not stars.
- After the other matches we’d seen with tables and ladders and chairs, this was a letdown.
9. Kane vs Undertaker
I liked Kane’s new togs. The first attack was like poetry in motion, Titans engaged in an primal, age-old struggle.
- Disappointing since we didn’t get to see what’s under the mask.
*** Professional note and defect: The phone Kurt used to call Stephanie was a Nokia 6100 series. Don’t ask why I’m sharing this information, I just had to.***
Pre-10. Kurt Angle and HHH fighting for Stephanie
Kurt should wear tights boxers, not a leotard. The table breaking before Hunter could do the pedigree: too funny…
10. HHH vs The Rock (Kurt Angle making an appearance)
Looked like a rerun.
- Unremarkable and predicatable.
The PPV was nothing to write home about and will probably go down as another disappointment, but for me, from a purely personal point of view, it felt great and wonderful!
So this was the §ummer§lam 2000 Edition of My Canadian Loonie. Very biased and uninformative and very much what I felt like doing.
Until next time!