I was going to start my weekly report with this week's edition of ECW HARDCORE, BUT thanks to the Mets/Yankees World Series, MSG pre-empted the show. Through that wonderful invention called the VCR, I'll hit the rewind button and start with last week's MSG show, or if you prefer, this week's SUNSHINE show. Let's get started.....
October 20, 2000 SUNSHINE NETWORK ECW HARDCORE
-Joel has some serious sexual issues, one minute he's this big stud, according to his intros, but put him in a room with one of the women and BAM instant geek! Of course, isn't that the way most men are?
-Damn, Jerry looks good in gold. The champ speaks....
-Dammit, Justin, GO AWAY!! Let Jerry talk.
-Jiminy, I wear shirts longer than Francine's dress.
-Oh, this could get interesting, Justin blames the loss of the title on Francine. Who's left that she hasn't been with?!
-AHHHHHHHHHHHH, Francine on the mic! I'd rather hear nails on a blackboard!
-"Until you get the title back, these knees are going to stay locked" Was that supposed to be a threat or incentive?!
"Can only get off when you've got that belt around your waist?" Speaking of serious sexual issues, Frannie, you need help.
-Guess Justin took it as a threat, he said something to the affect that losing the gold cost him the gold. Confused me too.
-OLD SCHOOL!! Hello, Corino!
-"What do we have here? the man who can't get laid and the man that's just been made." Love that line, Corino.
-I love a man that takes charge! Jerry just turns Justin and Corino aloose on each other.
-RHINO! evens up the odds a little bit and all hell breaks loose, bodies everywhere. We've got Rhino goring Jerry and Justin caning Corino.
-Commercial time. Ok, I'm a sick puppy because I LOVE it when Jerry uses Corino's blood as warpaint!
-Back from commercial, look it's Dawn Marie's fiancee, Hi Simon!
-WHOOO, THE BABIES! So Joey and Christian are having a handicap match with Simon?
-Uh oh, Simon has a problem. He sure does, NO SWINGER! He's looking for a clean cut, all-American boy? Aren't we all! When you find him, let me know.
-CHETTI?!? Clean cut?! Excuse me while I laugh awhile.
-The Babies are kicking some major ass.
-Simon and Chetti aren't getting along too well. Bye bye Chetti!
-ALRIGHT!!! Babies win! Here comes Nova after Chetti.
-WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS NOVA WEARING?! Note to Nova: Lose the Flash outfit!!
-ATLAS to the rescue!!! Hey boys!!!
-Lou E is an Atlas guy?! NOT HARDLY!
-Jazz and CW Anderson at ECW New York?! WTF?! Anderson praising Jazz saying she's a good wrestler. Jazz says she's almost good enough to be an Anderson. CW gets pissed saying unless Ole and Thunderbolt Patterson(yeah I know half of you don't know who either of them are) got together and had a child, he doesn't see how her last name ever being Anderson. That was a good one!
-Danaconda and Roadkill cut a promo on the FBI, guess they want the belts. Umm, sorry boys but those belts belong to the Ministry of Mirth!
-Tony Marinaro, Marmaluke, Ragu, Prego, whatever he's calling himself is too adorable especially when he's trying to look tough.
-Why are the FBI's weights announced in liquid ounces?! Thanks, Joel, for that explanation. Apparently it has something to do with gold being measured in ounces too.
-Hold the phones! Did I hear the Ministry of Mirth mentioned?! WHOOOOOO, that's my boys!
-Damn, Tony's fighting a handicap match, RoadKill makes 2 of him.
-Air Danaconda is about to take off. No, no, I said TAKE OFF not TAKES IT OFF!
-The Lancaster Lariat of Lust?! Ooooookkkkkkk!
-Danaconda with the pin after a ref bump! Hmmmm, HELLO SAL! How'd I know THAT was going to happen. Squash on the Danaconda, squash on RoadKill and the resurrection of the dead ref leads to a win for the FBI.
-Chilly Willy at ECW NY. What is with the ECW NY?! THEY'RE BASED OUT OF PHILLY YOU IDIOTS!
-ANGEL! Da Baldies attack Chilly in the stairwell.
-Red Dog to the rescue?!?! No witnesses?! Hmmmm, wonder what that means, tune in next week to find out?
-Here come Justin and Francine again. Note to Paul E: More clothes on Frannie, less on Justin.
-New Jack that man scares me. Does he actually know any wrestling moves? I don't think I've ever seen him use one.
-Hey Justin has a Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy t-shirt on! It was nice and white but now it's got lots of red on it.
-Ref down, does this mean we get another Rhino run in? NOPE! IT'S SPIKE! Acid drop on Danny Daniels.
-Why did Justin job to New Jack?!
-Show closes with a promo staring Corino, Victory and DAWN MARIE! My idol in perkiness! She's great!
That's it for this week. I'll be back next week with more, like it? hate it? Let me know either way. If you're lucky, you may get a mention in a later column.
