Lock
Wrestling Federation 2003 Awards
Live from the brand new
LWF Restaurant in Times Square, the 2003 LWF Awards!
The LWF superstars are
shown sitting at tables next to a stage, outfitted all over with monitors. Damage Inc starts playing as Robert Ooley’s
titantron appears on the monitors, and Ooley walks out to the stage and steps
up to the podium.
Ooley: Happy New Year, and welcome to the 2003 LWF
Awards! Old Bob has been charged with
presenting the award, to the funniest LWF superstar of the past year! Now, nobody is nearly as funny as I am, but
I have been known to have a chuckle or two at people such as Arelost, CoolR,
Little Richard, or even Iceboy. Now,
without further ado, the winner of this year’s award is…
Robert Ooley opens up the
envelope in front of him.
Ooley: Arelas!
Angel of Death hits, as
Arelas has a somewhat surprised look on his face. He walks up to the stage and accepts the award from Ooley, who
slaps him rather hard on the back. Arelas
looks at the award and sets it down on the podium, next to a second award which
he also studies.
Arelas: Thanks, I think. Why are there two awards here?
Lock: You won Best Champion too, but we only have
so much time for the show.
Arelas: Thanks so much, ‘preciate it. I think I’ll celebrate this by NOT having a
Hell in a Cell match.
Funniest Promoer: (Last
Year’s Winner: Robert Ooley)
Winner: Arelas
Runner-Up: Fear
LWF Ranking Countdown, #3 Tag Team: Fire and Ice
Greed hits, and Emperor
walks up to the podium.
Emperor: I'm presenting the award for most improved promos. I won this award last year and I'm ready to pass the torch onto…myself. Give me a break, who else has improved this year besides me? I won the tag titles, the LWF title, the Imperial title, and I joined the Regime. You can't do that if you're not damn good. 2003 was the year of the Emperor, contrary to Triple M's reports, and my promos have never been so dominant. This award represents the individual who has changed, for the better, the most over the past year. Before I present the award to myself, let's go over the people who are not going to win this award. There's Sarge. Did he even promo this year? I guess he's too busy in Iraq to get in the ring. The only thing improved about him is the fact that we no longer have to listen to him. Then there's Phatty McNasty. He's too busy on Jenny Craig to worry about making promos, so he's out too. Last, but not least, there's Downfall. I don't think he ever recovered from that massive beating I gave him last year. Now that we know who won't win, it's time to crown the Emperor the winner again. The winner of 2003 LWF award for Most Improved Promos is……Fear!?!?
Faint hits, and Fear walks up to the podium. Emperor shrugs his shoulders and hangs him the award with a smile.
Fear: Thank you. It has been a long trek for me here, and I’ve come a long way, and Emperor I think you know me better than a lot of people here, we’ve been together in EWF and UWF as well as here in LWF, and the time I spent in those two federations contributed a lot to my development that enabled my rise here. I may have improved, but there is a long way to go, and I won’t rest until the LWF Title itself is mine.
Most Improved Promoer (Last
Year’s Winner: Emperor)
Winner: Fear
Runner-Up: Emperor
LWF Ranking Countdown, #10 Overall: Fear
Fallen Angel hits, and
Triple M walks up to the podium.
Triple M: Best Newcomer... one of the greatest predictors of future LWF greats. The recipient of this award has a tremendous amount of pressure on himself to perform, as well as big shoes to fill. One word above all is spoken most often in reference to this winner: POTENTIAL!!! Each of the recipients in the past have gone on to become LWF all-time legends, winning title after title, and leaving his indellible mark on the history of Lock Wrestling Federation. All eyes will be paying closer attention to the Best Newcomer, as extremely high expectations are placed upon him to supersede the succes of his peers. Due to the success of the past winners, he will be expected to attain a level of excellence commensurate with the top echelon of performers. In some ways, this award is one of the most important stepping stones to a fruitful career for a rookie. So where are they now? Arelas won this award in 2001, and has gone on to win title after title, even headlining and winning the LWF title for a 2nd time at LockMania last year. Metalhead Matt Marauder, yours truly, has won every single title in the LWF, been Lord of the Ring, and is currently the LWF champion now. Both men have provided an impressive legacy for this award... so without further ado, we would like to announce the winner of the 2003 Best Newcomer award...Nomad!
The Outlaw Torn hits, and Nomad walks up and accepts the award.
Nomad: This one of the best things ever happened to the Eternal Wanderer, but he couldn’t have done it without his partner. So big thanks go out to the Cool to the J! I done going to share this award with him forever. Cool to the J all the way!
Best Newcomer (Last Year’s Winner: Triple M)
Winner: Nomad
Runner-Up: Doctor K
LWF Ranking Countdown, #9 Overall: Diablo
CoolJ: With all the talent that there is here in LWF, it is easy for some people to be lost in the shuffle. There are those that don’t get the recognition that they deserve, or for some reason haven’t achieved their full potential. These people are underrated, much like Gold Bond, which people don’t realize works very, very well. The winner of the award for Most Underrated is…Psiko!
Nothin But a Good Time hits as Psiko walks up to the stage and accepts the award.
Psiko: Well, I suppose it is better to be underrated than overrated. I may not have fulfilled my potential yet, but 2004, we’ll all go Psiko! The people have spoken!
Winner: Psiko
Runner-Up: Fear
LWF Ranking Countdown, #8 Overall: Alan Fernandez
Winner: Return of Alan Fernandez and Psiko
Runner-Up: Arelas is named LWF Commissioner
LWF Ranking Countdown, #7 Overall: Lock
Vow hits, and Alan Fernandez walks up to the podium.
Alan: So, this is the award for Best Character. I was really surprised and pleased that I won this last year, because this award means that, in the LWF, you are the person that stood out from the crowd. You were the one that people took notice of, and said "This guy's special". It's a testament to the force of your personality, your strive for excellence, your....ah, y'know what? That's all a bunch of blather. Basically, if you're winning this award, it's because you gave people a reason to care about you. It's because you went out there, and worked your ass off, and you made it known that you're out there, and you've got a reason for people to pay attention to you. Let me tell you, I was totally surprised that I won this last year. All this time, I just went out there, and had fun, and did my best. Maybe that's all you have to do. You don't have to worry about winning titles ad nauseum. You don't have to worry about any sort of reputation as a badass, or a ruler, or the greatest ever champion of whatever. You just have to go out there, have a good time, make sure everyone else is, and leave everything you've got out there. On that note, the winner of the 2003 LWF Best Character award is...Phoenix!
Winner: Phoenix
Runner-Up: Arelas
LWF Ranking Countdown, #6 Overall: CoolJ
Winner: Alan Fernandez versus Fear
Runner-Up: Phoenix versus Triple M
LWF Ranking Countdown, #2 Tag Team: The Technicians
Angel of Death hits, and Arelas walks up to the podium.
Arelas: What does it take to be a good face. Well,
first, I feel, it's important to have strong cheekbones. A good jawline never
hurts either. And to really draw the ladies in, you gotta have those soft,
soft, baby blue eyes… Of course, this is not Queer Eye for the Wrestling Guy.
To be a strong face, you really only need one thing… to have fans love you enough
that they will scream for you whenever you are within eyesight… or at least on
a television screen. In the time of LWF we have had many such people with that
kind of charisma. Past champions of this award are myself and Phoenix, arguably
two of the best there ever have been. This year's winner will add himself to
these ranks… or will we have a repeat winner… its time to find out. The nominees are…
Alan Fernandez is shown standing on the platform over the Inferno Pit at Maximum Carnage. Arelas is shown sitting at the announce table after declaring it the commissioner’s office. CoolJ is shown wearing plastic angel garb. Iceman is shown holding up the LWF Title after winning it at Meltdown. Phoenix is shown refusing to give in at Meltdown.
Arelas: And the winner is…Alan Fernandez!
Vow hits, and a stunned Alan Fernandez walks up to the podium and accepts the award. He has a blank stare for several seconds.
Alan Fernandez: Wow. All I have to say is this…freaks are still cool!
Winner: Alan Fernandez
Runner-Up: Phoenix
LWF Ranking Countdown, #5 Overall: Emperor
Winner: I Quit Match: Phoenix versus Triple M
Runner-Up: Tie, Inferno Pit Match: Alan Fernandez versus Phoenix and King of the Hill Match: Arelas versus CoolJ versus Emperor versus Lock versus Triple M versus Robert Ooley
LWF Ranking Countdown, #4 Overall: Phoenix
Replica hits, and Phoenix walks up to the podium.
Phoenix: There are some people who are very good at being very bad. The heels in our business, it is their job to be hated. Some people do this by just being pure evil, sadistic and vicious, others just by being what can be best described as a total tool, and there are those that we all just want to reach out and throttle. The nominees for Best Heel are:
Emperor is shown holding the Imperial Title. Fear is shown holding the Cross-Hemisphere Title over a bloody Alan Fernandez at Revolution. Lock is shown with the rest of the Regime. Phoenix is shown pinning Alan Fernandez to win the LWF Title at Massive Melee. Triple M is shown with the LWF Title after winning Outlast.
Phoenix: And the winner is…Metalhead Matt Marauder!
Fallen Angel hits, and Triple M gloats as he walks up to the podium and takes the award. He starts to talk, but nobody can hear him. He taps the microphone, but it has been turned off. CoolJ is seen snickering at his table.
Winner: Matt Marauder
Runner-Up: Fear
LWF Ranking Countdown, #3 Overall: Arelas
Rise hits, and Phoenix walks back up to the podium.
Phoenix: I’m getting a workout here. Right, anyway, there are so many of us here in LWF, and yet at the same time there is always a centerpiece. There is someone who is at the core, who holds it together, someone without whom LWF simply could not and would not be the same. The Most Valuable Poster of 2003 is…Arelas!
Angel of Death hits, and Arelas walks up to the stage and accepts the award.
Arelas: Thank you. You had time for this one, did you?
Lock shrugs his shoulders.
Arelas: Heh. This will be signed, sealed, and slashed onto my mantle. Again, thank you.
Winner: Arelas
Runner-Up: Iceman
LWF Ranking Countdown, #2 Overall: Iceman
Winner: Meltdown
Runner-Up: Outlast
LWF Ranking Countdown, #1 Tag Team: Iceman and Flame Demon
Lock: Another year, another flood of stories and legends to add to our history. Before our final award, let us take a look back at the year that is behind us, helped out by our friends at Linkin Park.
Lying From You
When I pretend everything is what I want it to beI look exactly like what you had always wanted to seeWhen I pretend to forget about the criminal I amStealing second after second just 'cause I know I canBut I can't pretend this is the way it'll stayI'm just trying to bend the truthI can't pretend I'm who you want me to beSo I'm lying my way from you Phoenix assaults Arelas, forms the Following, and crushes Psiko to win the Havok Title. No, no turning back nowI want to be pushed asideSo let me goNo, no turning back nowLet me take back my lifeI'd rather be all aloneNo turning back nowAnywhere on my own'Cause I can seeNo, no turning back nowThe very worst part of youIs me Shots of Phoenix hitting Rise and Fall on various LWF superstars. I remember what they taught to meRemember condescending talk of who I ought to beRemember listening to all of that and this againSo I pretended up a person who was fitting inAnd now you think this person really is me andTrying to bend the truthThe more I push the more I'm pulling away'Cause I'mLying my way from you Phoenix watches as Alan Fernandez retains the LWF Title at Betrayal, then pins him at Massive Melee to win it. No, no turning back nowI want to be pushed asideSo let me goNo, no turning back nowLet me take back my lifeI'd rather be all aloneNo turning back nowAnywhere on my own'Cause I can seeNo, no turning back nowThe very worst part of youThe very worst part of youIs me Phoenix battles Alan in an Inferno Pit Match and both fall in. Footage is shown from the main event of Lockmania. This isn't what I want it to beI never thought that what I saidWould have you running from meLike thisThis isn't what I want it to beI never thought that what I saidWould have you running from meLike thisThis isn't what I want it to beI never thought that what I saidWould have you running from meLike thisThis isn't what I want it to beI never thought that what I saidWould have you running from meLike this Phoenix taps out to CoolJ and suffers migraine headaches. YouNo turning back nowI want to be pushed asideSo let me goNo, no turning back nowLet me take back my lifeI'd rather be all aloneNo turning back nowThan anywhere on my own'Cause I can't seeNo, no turning back nowThe very worst part of youThe very worst part of youIs me
Points of Authority
Forfeit the game
Before somebody
else
Takes you out of
the frame
And puts your name
to shame
Cover up your face
You can't run the
race
The pace is too
fast
You just won't
last, won't last, won't last...
Phoenix is shown leading the Following.
You love the way I
look at you
While taking
pleasure in the awful things you put me through
You take away if I
give in
My life, my pride
is broken
Lock introduces UWF after purchasing it.
You like to think
you're never wrong
(You like to think
you’re never wrong)
You have to act
like you're someone
(You have to act
like you're someone)
You want someone
to hurt like you
(You want someone
to hurt like you)
You want to share
what you've been through
(To live what
you’ve learned)
Arelas brings Lock to court and is awarded the LWF Commissionership.
You love the
things I say I'll do
The way I'll hurt
myself again just to get back at you
You take away when
I give in
My life, my pride
is broken
Lock forms a new Regime.
You like to think
you're never wrong
(You like to think
your never wrong)
You have to act
like you're someone
(You have to act
like you're someone)
You want someone
to hurt like you
(You want someone
to hurt like you)
You want to share
what you've been through
(To live what you’ve learned)
My December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
Phoenix and Alan fall into the Inferno
Pit. Triple M has Susumu Itarki in the
Liontamer. Emperor runs over
Iceman. Alan lays bleeding at Fear’s
feet.
This is my December this is my snow covered
home
This is my December this is me alone
And I
Just wish that i didnt feel like there was
something I missed
Take back all the things I said to make you
feel like that
And I
Just wish that i didnt feel like there was
something I missed
Take back all the things I said to you
And I'd..
Give it all away just to have somwhere to go
to
Give it all away to have someone to come home
to
Iceman lays on a hospital bed after
surgery. Triple M hits a super backbreaker
on Phoenix. Arelas has Gold Bond in his
eyes. Alan Fernandez has Fear in
Silence is Golden.
This is my December these are my snow covered
trees
This is me pretending this is all I need
And I
Just wish that I didn’t feel like there was
something I missed
Take back the things I said to make you feel
that
And I
Just wish that I didnt feel like there was
something I missed
Take back all the things I said to you
And I'd
Give it all away to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away to have someone to come home
to
In The End
It starts with [one]
One thing
I don't know why it doesn't even matter how
hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when
Alan Fernandez carries the LWF Title. Phoenix pins him in a tag match at Massive Melee to win the Title. Alan and Phoenix fall into the Inferno Pit.
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter
Arelas pins Alan to win the LWF Title at Lockmania.
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to
remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so [far]
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
in the end
you kept everything inside
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a
memory of a time
Emperor wins the King of the Hill Match. Iceman unifies the LWF and UWF titles.
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter
Lock pins Iceman to win the title.
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
Triple M wins Outlast.
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter
Lock: And now, the nominees for the Best Overall superstar of 2003…
Alan Fernandez is shown standing on the platform over the Inferno Pit at Maximum Carnage. Arelas is shown holding the LWF Title after winning it for the second time at Lockmania. Fear is shown holding the Cross-Hemisphere Title after narrowly winning the Iron Man Match at Betrayal. Phoenix is shown holding up the People’s Title as a flood as flashbulbs go off around the arena. Triple M is shown after winning the Lord of the Ring Tournament.
Lock: And the winner is…Phoenix!
Rise hits, and Phoenix walks up and accepts the award.
Phoenix: Wow. Three years in a row. Wow. You know, I honestly don’t think I deserve to win this award this year, so many people had great years, but thank you all the same. Winning this is one of the greatest honors to be had here, the respect of one’s peers. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Winner: Phoenix
Runner-Up: Arelas
LWF Ranking Countdown, #1 Overall: Matt Marauder