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Journal
11/29/2001
Welcome Loyal Subjects once again to
the exciting life that is Your Hero. This week Your Hero traveled to Bandera,
TX to defend the ETW Texas Heavyweight Title. Your Hero was originally
scheduled to face off against OZ, however The Wiz remembered the butt kicking
that was given by Your Hero, and chose to skip the show all together. Now
here’s where it gets ugly Loyal Subjects, the promoters knowing how dominant
The Educated Nightmare is, decided to try and cause some tension between The
Educated Nightmare by having Jeromy Sage and Your Hero face each other for the
ETW Title. Obviously they don’t know The Educated Nightmare to well, no way
would The Educated Nightmare face each other. Then it happened Loyal Subjects,
Jeromy Sage that Judas, accepted the match. Well if The Jerky wants a match
then that’s what The Jerky will get.
Jerky ran
to the ring kissing the fans asses, and to the unbelief of Your Hero, the
Podunk Fans cheered Jerky. Well Your Hero walked out and expected the same
reaction only to be disrespected with boo’s. Jerky turned, and felt the forearms. Your Hero shoots off Jerky, but Jerky reverses and BOOOMMM!!!
Flying
clothesline by Jerky. Jerky shoots off Your Hero and SMAAACK!!!
Elbow by
Jerky. BOOOMMM!!!!
Dropkick
by Jerky. Your Hero rolls out to take a breather. However Jerky was
relentless as Your Hero was hit with a plancha from the top turnbuckle to the
floor. Your Hero finally gets back into the ring and asks Jerky for a test of
strength. Your Hero and Jerky locked up and THHUUUUDDD!!!
Kick to
Jerky’s midsection as Jerky goes to the ground. Jerky tries to power back
and TTHHHUUDDD!!! Another kick to the midsection. Once again Jerky is coming
back, however Jerky catches Your Hero off guard TTTHHHUUUDDD!!!!! Kicks to
Your Hero’s midsection. Jerky places Your Hero’s fingers on the ground and
STOMP!! Smashes Your Hero’s fingers.
Your Hero
gets up and turns right into a headlock. Your Hero takes Jerky to the ropes
and shoots off Jerky and BOOOMMM!!! Shouldertackle 1…2..kickout. Your Hero
gets up to see who the damn ref is……..OH NO!!!! Your Hero is convinced of
it now, there is a CONSPIRACY AGAINST YOUR HERO. Ric “I lost my contacts, so
I can’t count to 3, so let me FUKABE the fans” Porter is the ref.
Jerky
grabs another headlock. Your Hero works Jerky to the ropes and shoots off
Jerky and BOOOMMM!!!! Shouldertackle, Jerky goes for a splash and THUUDD!!!
Misses!!!! Your Hero grabs a headlock. Jerky powers out to a top wristlock.
Your Hero turns it into a hammerlock. Jerky reverses and ends up with the
headlock. Your Hero shoots off Jerky and BOOOMMM!!!! Shouldertackle by Jerky.
Your Hero gets up and once again Jerky grabs a headlock and takes Your Hero to
the mat. Your Hero rolls Jerky into a pin
1……………………..2……………………..kickout!!!! DAMN YOU RIC
THE REF!!!!!
Roll up
once again 1…..can we get any
slower……..2……………………………kickout!!!!!!
Your Hero
works Jerky up and to the ropes. Jerky is shot off and BOOOOOMMM!!! Another
freakin’ shouldertackle. Your Hero goes for a hiptoss, NO REVERSAL….SPLLLAAATTTTT!!!!!
Your Hero is taken to the corner and snapmared. Jerky climbs to the top rope
and SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!! Knee to the head. Your Hero gets up
and once again Jerky grabs a headlock.
Your Hero
shoots off Jerky, but this time Your Hero is waiting for Jerky
……………..THHUUUDDD!!!!!!! Knee to Jerky’s midsection.
Your Hero
takes Jerky to the ropes and begins choking out Jerky. As usual Ric
“FUKABEing promoters is cool” Porter gets in Your Hero’s way,
threatening Your Hero with a DQ.
Your Hero
picked up Jerky and placed Jerky in the abdominal stretch. Jerky was screaming
like a dog in heat as Your Hero grabbed the ropes for more leverage. However
once again Ric “How do you FUKABE when you don’t know what it means”
Porter interfered when Ric kicked Your Hero’s hand. Jerky then was able to
give Your Hero a hiptoss.
Your Hero
as always was resilient and beat Jerky to his feet BOOOOOMMMM!!!!! Jerky is
taken down with a clothesline. Your Hero picks up Jerky and THUUUDDDD!!!!!
Backbreaker 1…………………………2…………………….
Kickout!!! DAMMIT ANOTHER FREAKIN SLOW COUNT!!!!!!! I SMELL CONSPIRACY!!!!!!
Jerky
starts to crawl to get away from Your Hero, but Your Hero doesn’t let up
and….BAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!
Your Hero
drops his weight across Jerky’s back!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
A 2nd
time across Jerky’s back!!!! TTTTTHHHHHUUUUUUUDDDDDDDD!!!!!!
Jerky
turned the knees into Your Hero’s jewels. Jerky does a
schoolboy..1..2..kickout!!!! Freakin’ fast count!!!
Your Hero
quickly gets up and sticks a thumb in Jerky’s eyes. Your Hero shoots Jerky
to the opposite corner, Jerky hits and comes out to where Your hero is waiting
and BBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALBERT
BOMB!!!!!!!!!
1……I
see a trend here……………..2……….any day now
RIC………………….kickout!!!!!!!!!!
THAT’S
IT!! THIS CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME BETTER STOP!!! SOMEONE CALL THE X-FILES!!!!!
Your Hero
takes a different approach and decides to wear down Jerky with a reverse
chinlock. Jerky starts to make a comeback and gets up and……………BAMMM!!!!!
Elbow to Your Hero’s gut!!!! BAMMMM!!!!! A 2nd elbow to Your
Hero’s gut!!!!! Jerky hits the ropes ducks a clothesline and runs right into
a sleeper!!!!
Down goes
Jerky. Ric “FUKABE? Isn’t that a dance JACK” Porter lifts the hand and
down it goes. A 2nd time Jerky’s hand hits the floor. The 3rd
time it goes…. No wait Jerky’s hand comes back up and Jerky gets up……BAMM!!!
Elbow to Your Hero’s gut..BAMM!!! a 2nd elbow to Your Hero’s gut!! Jerky
hits the ropes and right back into the sleeper!!!! CRACK!!!!! Jerky slams Your
Hero’s jaw into Jerky’s head!!!
Your Hero
fights the pain and places the sleeper on Jerky once again. BOOOOMMMM!!! Jerky
pushes Your Hero into the corner as Your Hero releases the sleeper. Your Hero
rushes Jerky and……….BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Backdrop!
However Jerky spent all his energy and also falls to the mat.
Ric “I
wish I knew how to FUKABE like the wrestlers do” Porter starts to count.
Gradually both Your Hero and Jerky get up.
BAMM!!
Your Hero throws a punch!!
BAMM!!
Jerky throws a punch!!
BAMM!!
Your Hero throws a 2nd punch!!
BAMM!!
Jerky throws a 2nd punch!!
BLOCK!!BAMM!!
Jerky blocks Your Hero’s punch but delivers on a punch!!
BLOCK!!BAMM!!
Jerky again blocks Your Hero’s punch and delivers a 4th punch!!!
Jerky takes Your
Hero to the ropes and shoots off Your Hero and BBBBAAAAMMMM!!!! Flying
clothesline!!
BOOOMMMMM!!!
Elbow!!!! SLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!! Bodyslam!!! Your hero is on the
ground reeling from Jerky’s offense!! Jerky climbs the 2nd rope
and BOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!! Elbow smash!!!
1..2..kickout!!!
Your Hero
crawls out to the floor. Jerky follows and SMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Your
Hero’s head is slammed into the ring. Jerky throws Your Hero back into the
ring. Jerky grabs Your Hero and……………….BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
SAGEASSER!!!!!
1..2..kickout!!!!!
Jerky is
distracted and Your Hero is able to hit a low blow. Then……
CCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! SUPERKICK!!!!!!!!
1………………………………………………………………2……………………………………………………………kickout!!!!!!!
WHAT IN
THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS FUKABE IS GOING ON HERE!!!!!!! FREAKIN’
CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!
Your Hero
places Jerky in place for a move that Loyal Subjects haven’t seen in a while
MOONSAULT!!!!
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
Your Hero
missed!!
Jerky is
climbing to the top turnbuckle. Ric “I FUKABEd a girl once and she slapped
me” Porter gets to close. Your Hero pushes Ric. Ric hits the ropes and falls
through. Jerky falls and hits the turnbuckle with his jewels. Your Hero is up
and climbs the ropes…………………………….BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
SUPERPLEX!!!!!!
No ref!!! WHAT THE HELL… wait here comes Ric and WHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTT!!!!!
RIC “I
JUST GAVE RIDDICK A FUKABE” PORTER DQ’S YOUR HERO!!!!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Ric is
given the DEATHDROP!!!!!!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Your Hero
is given the title to the head courtesy of JERKY!!!
BUT YOUR
HERO IS STILL THE CHAMPION!!!!! Loyal Subjects rejoice that Your Hero is still
champion.
So to all
my Loyal Subjects don’t FUKABE, Your Hero wants all Loyal Subjects to have
an evil NIGHTMARE!!!
{editor’s
note if you don’t understand what FUKABE means don’t ask it’s an inside
joke of the STP}
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