The scrambled Pay Per View channel slides into focus as Marilyn Mansons Mob Scene plays over. We begin to see scenes of The Mexican Jackhammers running amok, Weltmeister's debut, Stinky Steve preaching from his throne. We see Alana stalking Morbius. Scenes of Jugernaut and Christian Wright fighting over the Brutality Championship over the past month play, along with their despiccable deeds from the past week. A shot of Cheapshots defeating Rammer appears, followed by scenes of the Tag Team Tournament, and Brian Graves' defeat of Dick Gazinya. The scene closes out with a view of the nWo Championship belt with Brian on one side and Cheapshots on the other. Finally, the music dies, and the Jacked Up logo appears on the screen.

Jacked Up comes on the air with a 'Matrix style opening featuring letters, numbers and coding which merge together forming the nWo logo representing the Netlink Wrestling Organization . The show immediatly cuts live to inside the Bi Lo Center in Greenville, SC. The fans cheer and hold up their signs as they see themselves on the gigantic wraparound screen which sits ontop of a long silver stage. The stage features green lazer lights moving back and fourth over two smaller screens resembling large computer monitors. The co-official Malice bands, 13 Stitches and Self Afflicted are on stage playing Self Afflicted's Wasted. The screens show highlights of the last few weeks Malices for a few moments. The shot cuts to outside, and the fans erupt in cheers as The Monster rolls into the parking lot and Ichabod, Brian Graves, and Wicked D step down out of the gigantic machine. They look around pleased as Ichabod breathes in the smell as if experiencing this all for the first time again. The trio walks into the building.

Hank - Welcome to Jacked Up! What a hell of a week its been leading up to the Pay Per View with all sorts of shenanigans from all sides. Tonight four titles will be decided, and two of those, the new nWo Tag Team Championships!

Michael D.- Hank, I hear that Ichabod, Brian and Wicked are headed to the ring right now!

Forsaken by David Draiman plays over the PA as Blue Lasers cut through smoke that is pouring out of some machine. Ichabod, Brian Graves, and Wicked D all step out onto the ramp and walk down to the ring. They get in as Ichabod takes a microphone.

Ichabod- Ya know, while I was wasting away in that cell, this federation could have run into the ground. Now I've watched from that cell, and I've taken a very good notice of exactly what was happening. Oh yeah, I saw that while Brian struggled week after week to bring the entertainment to the fans, all the rest of you could do was bitch and piss and moan about what he wasn't doing for you. Newsflash here, this isn't for YOU, this is for the entertainment of the FANS. I dont' care if you don't like what you've been handed, or what Brian has done. He's done one thing that I care about, and thats kept an nWo alive since I was taken. Without him, Dick Gazinya would be your president. Eh? Sound good? That child molesting gay bastard as your president? If thats what you want, well by all means, go tell him. He needs his head to swell to even bigger than its already gotten. Yeah then we can all run around here wrestling each other in midget on a pole matches and Dirty Dick Protein Squirt matches. Right.

And while the rest of you are flocking to his side, keep in mind that I'M in charge around here. I was trusted with this company for a reason, and Darren neglected to give it to his own son. What does that tell you? His own flesh and blood! Obviously, the big man realized Dick wasn't more than a flash in the pan and would try to use his position to rise to power and sway everything his way.

But I've heard your pleas, and I'll no longer be running nWo alone. No, I've decided to dole out a little bit of stroke, as it were, and let some others join in the fun. Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Vice President... Brian Graves! And your new Commissioner... Wicked D!!!

Brian Graves steps foward and takes the mic.

Brian- Thank you Ichabod. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to announce that in a few weeks time, we will all be witness to a spectacle beyond imagining. The third King Karnage will be named in this very ring! The tournament will begin next week on Malice! Now, in the past this has been a purely voluntary tournament, but due to the lack of people feeling as though they've gotten their shots, I will be placing every active member of the roster into this match except for a few chosen ones. Now, if you know anything about the history of this tournament, you will remember how brutal and deadly it can be. The winner who will be crowned in the special barbedwire ladder match at the end of the tournament, will recieve not only his barbedwire crown, but full bragging rights, the respect of the wrestling world, and the title of King Karnage for a year. The following weeks in nWo will not be for the faint of heart, my friends. The matches are always a little something special, and now, Wicked D will explain the upcoming matches for this years tournament.

Wicked D- Thank you Brian. We have a few returning favorites that have been modified, some that have stayed the same, and few that have just come out of nowhere. James is usually the man who announces these matches, and we dedicate them to his memory. We've spent the past week pouring over these in our spare time, and this is what we have come up with-

Meatlocker Match-
The contenders are locked in a real meatlocker in nearby restaurant. There is a blowtorch hidden in the locker. Winner is the one who sets the opponent on fire.

Iron Maiden Match-
Just like casket match only its an iron maiden instead. Also you must lock your opponent in with a key... and there are hundreds of keys scattered around the ring.

Blood Dumpster Match-
This match takes place in a junkyard. Each opponent has a key. The winner is the one who escapes. The front gate has 3 padlocks... to win you use your key, your opponents key... and a mystery guys' key. You can imagine how you have to get the keys.

Hot Potato Match-
A coin is flipped. The winner decides who wears a metal band on their head first. The metal band is timed to go off with electric charges at an unknown time. Whoever is wearing the headband when it goes off loses. The catch is, you can only take it off if you are putting it on your opponent, so you must try to get your opponent down long enough to put it on him or her, and then stay up long enough to not get it put back on you. Also, there are lots of tasers around.

Buckets of Fun Match-
There are several buckets hanging about 20 feet above the ring. Each bucket has something different the person who climbs up by ladder can use. Some are roofing tacks, some are lead pipes, there is a bucket of blood... lots of stuff like that. But there are also trick buckets! Win by pinfall.

Exploding Turnbuckle Match-
All twelve turnbuckles are filled with explosives. The person to put the opponent through seven turnbuckles first is the winner. In the event that each person reaches six, match will continue until pinfall.

Junkyard Divas Match-
Proceeds like an evening gown match, no matter the sex of the person involved. Only there are viscious attack dogs acting as lumberjacks.

Bed of Coals Match-
There is a scaffold erected made completely of ladders. The ladders are held together by strong twine. Under the scaffold is a large bed of coals. Every now and then a blast of flames from vents below the bed of coals shoots flames up toward the scaffold. The twine melts little by little each time this happens. The winner is the one who tosses his opponent into the bed of coals. In the event that the twine melts, thus bringing down the scaffold, the match continues, on the bed of coals!

Glass Menagerie of Pain Match-
Just like a hell in a cell match, only the sides are not a cage, but giant panes of glass with built in glass ladders, for anyone who wants to do some get some aerial moves off. Inside the glass cell is the ring, covered in shards of glass. Win by pinfall.

Redneck Water Torture Match-
Around the ring is a moat with electric currents running through it. Outside the moat are three lumberjacks with firehoses. This is a last man standing match.

Hell on Wheels Match-
This match takes place in the back of a moving semi truck trailer. The trailer is outfitted with powertools and whatnot, anything you'd find in a workshed. The loser is the one who is thrown from this vehicle to the pavement... at speeds of 65-100 miles per hour... at least thats what we told the driver to drive.

Rooftop Kennel Match-
The roof has a Hell in a Cell now sitting on it covering the whole roof. The walls of the cell mark the edges of the building, so climbing the outside of it puts you out over nothing but many stories to fall from. And there are no safety cables. Within the cell is a steel cage with no top, but with barbed wire going around the top edges. Between the two cages are viscious trained monkeys. The winner is the first one to get to the top of the Cell where a helicopter is waiting with a paper saying you win. The match begins when the contenders enter the middle cage thru a rooftop door.

Now the contenders names have all been placed in a hat, and we will be drawing those names to decide who faces off against whom in the first round. Also, we will be drawing the matches at random from another hat to see what your match will be. Also, as per the original design, the losers of round one will all enter a royal rumble to decide who will compete in a second chance match in round two. The official round one matches will be announced Sunday Night!

The three men exit the ring as Forsaken plays again, and no one is sure what to make of the matches that have been declared for King Karnage 2003.

The cameras go backstage as we see a man in a blue jumpsuit standing outside of a locker room door with the name Ichabod on it. He knocks once and waits until the door opens. When it does, Ichabod stands there looking at the man who pulls out a VHS tape. He nods and hands the tape to Ichabod.

Messenger- I am delivering this tape courtesy of a very special someone. You are advised to look at this at once. It is in regards to the upcoming King Karnage pay-per-view.

Ichabod looks at the man strangly as the messenger turns away and walks down the hall. Ichabod looks at the label on the tape as the camera comes in closer. We can read in black marker The Masked Man on the label. Ichabod slips the tape under his shoulder and goes back into his dressing room, closing the door behind him.

We come back as none other than 'Stinky' Steve Wilkins stands in the middle of the ring with no theme music. The fans just sort of look at him funny as he begins to scratch his butt. Suddenly Mexican Jackhammer Grangier slides out from under the ring and enters, followed by Mexican Jackhammer Casio who walks out to the ring from backstage.

Hank- Look at this bunch Mike. I don't think I can pick a winner out of these three. None of these guys even have theme music!

The lights in the arena suddenly turn off as the fans sit in darkness for a few seconds. With a large bang, all four ring posts explode in sparks and a flashes. The theme from Terminator plays as the arena lights turn back on to a bright red as Weltmeister and his manager, Kurt Sharp, walk out from the back. Weltmeister is led to the ring by Kurt and steps over the top rope before climbing to the second rope and flexing his gigantic arms before the crowd. Stinky and the Jackhammers get back up from the ground after they all jumped down due to the big explosions from Weltmeisters entrance pyro. Suddenly they all jump on Weltmeister as the bell sounds. Stinky up on his back as he grabs him in a headlock. The Jackhammers each grab a leg as the Weltmeister throws Stinky across the ring from over his head. From there he kicks one jackhammer off his leg as he reaches down and grabs Jackhammer Casio in a chokeslam. Grangier and Stinky run at Weltmeister but, both get clotheslined down to the mat. A hush comes over the crowd as they watch this monster tear apart three competitors.

Hank- The Weltmeister is ever impressive. Don't you think Mike?

Mike D- He sure does. I'm not sure these guys are any match for him!

He sets Casio up and nails the double handed chokeslam before turning his attention back to Grangier. Grangier calls out Dropkick as he does one. Weltmeister just back steps and swats at his legs. Grangier falls to the mat as Stinky charges in only to get met with a boot. He picks up Stnky getting ready to heave him over the top rope when the Jackhammers begins to pound on Weltmeisters back. He drops Stinky down as he hangs onto the rope and slides back into the ring. Weltmesiter turns his attention to the Jackhammers as he grabs them each by the throat and backs them into the turnbuckle. A big knife edge chop finds its mark on both Jackhammers as he slams their heads together. He clamps both hands around each of their necks and heaves them over the top rope. Weltmeister stares down at the two on the outside of the ring as they point back to him. Weltmeister points back over the top rope as both Jackhammers grab his arm and try to pull him out. From behind, Stinky come up and grabs Weltmeister by the legs and drops him over the top rope. This one is over.

Mike D- I ca't believe it. I don't think Stinky has ever won a match in his entire career.

Hank- There is a first time for everything!

Kurt Sharp escorts Weltmeister to the back as the Jackhammers enter the ring to celebrate with Stinky Steve. No music plays as the Jackhammers pick up Stinky on their shoulders. The celebration continues as we head backstage.

We head backstage as the NDE unhesitantly bust into Ichabod's dressing room. Dick and Nester rummage around, pushing things over as they search the place high and low. Not long after, Ichabod enters the dressing room as he stands there watching the NDE in pure anger.

Ichabod- What in the hell are you guys doing in here?

Dick and Nester stop as they turn their attention to Ichabod. Dick steps right up in Ichy's face as he begins to make demands.

Dick- What in the hell are YOU doing in here?!! I've been looking for your sorry ass for weeks on end. I see you've finally gotten out of jail....how does your ass feel? Now sit down! We have some issues to discuss!

Ichabod, annoyed points to the door telling the NDE to leave as Nester nudges his way past Dick.

Nester- I think you better sit down Ich....the NDE have some issues that need to be addressed NOW!

Ichabod makes his way over to his desk as he finds a seat. He takes his feet and props them up onto the desk, taking his time with the NDE.

Ichabod- So....what's your damn problems?

Dick makes his way up to the desk as he slams his fist down before speaking in a disorderly way.

Dick- What the hell is going on around this joint? Why is BG the VP? What the fuck gives you the right to do this to my old mans company? This should be my organization....I should be the VP! I want some damn answers and I want them now Ichy.....

Ichabod- Whoa, whoa, whoa....

Dick, almost ready to explode points a finger in Ichabods face as he begins to scream across the desk.

Dick- You don't seem to get it do you Ichy? You see, I'm going to make your life a living hell until you give me the answers that I want to hear. I'm not going to walk out of this room until you do a little bit of expaining. I want to know what gives you the right to make Brian Graves the VP of this company? Do you think my father would have approved of this?

Ichabod- Do you really think I care what youur father would think? Seriously, get the hell out of here....I have more important business to take car of than you two morons!

Dick suddenly flips Ichabods desk over on top of him as Nester grabs Dick from behind to try and drag him out of the office. Dick struggles as we here him yelling.

Dick- What about the dark match you son of a bitch?!!

The camera turns back to Ichabod who is standing behind his flipped over desk, clenching and unclenching his fists watching Nester drag Dick out of the room before we head back to ringside.

Hank - Let's get to some action here shall we? I mean how can you not look forward to this match, one of many exciting matches that Ichabod and Brian Graves drew up for this card!

Michael D - One of Ichabod's greatest accomplishments was hiring Brian Graves to book matches! He's been amazing! And this match between Alana Jeffries and Morbious should be nothing short of spectacular.

Hank - But let me get something straight, this isn't your ordinary match, this is a Hells Fury match in which all of the ring posts will shoot fire at random times. If you get caught on fire, you lose, simple as that.

Michael D - This match is as brutal as they come, the question is, can they stand the heat, literally.

Alana Jeffries music hits the loud speakers as she steps out from behind the curtain to a mixed reaction. She jogs down the ramp and slides into the ring and stretches out a bit as she waits.

Hank - This young girl can really be something special, but with a guy like Morbious opposing her, who knows?

Morbius' theme hits the speakers as the big man appears from the backstage with his eyes glued onto Alana. He runs down the ramp and slides into the ring as Alana quickly gets on the offensive with a sliding drop kick to his knees, sending him back down to the mat almost as fast as he got up.

Hank - And we're off!

Alana quickly gets on the offensive as she runs over grabbing Morbious by the hair and lifting him to his knees. She quickly bounces off the other ropes and drop kicks the big man out of the ring. He tumbles to the ground and as Alana steps over the rope, the flames burst up and she gets caught off guard. She puts her hands on her chest and regains her composure, but Morbious grabs her feet and drops her down on her face hitting the canvas! Morbious picks up her lifeless body and whips her hard sending her crashing into the steel steps. He stalks over to her in the corner and lifts her up by the hair and is ready to lift her by the flaming turnbuckle, but she manages to give him a knee to the crotch! Morbious lets out a holler and drops down to his knees right as the flame hits. Alana gives Morbious a swift kick to the head, forcing him to drop down to his back on the outside. Alana hops off the top of the steps and looks under the ring, finally pulling out a trashcan and a steel chair. She grabs the trashcan and tosses it in the ring along with the chair and then following that, tosses in Morbious. She slides in the ring following him and grabs the chair. The flames fly up again as she gets an idea.

Michael D - What could possibly be going through her mind right now?

Alana sets the trashcan up in the corner of the ring, lodged between the second and third turnbuckle. She turns around but gets leveled with a big boot to the face! Alana is laid out in the ring as Morbious drops down to his knees to catch his breath. He gets up and lifts up Alana as the flames hit. He quickly whips her into the turnbuckle where the trashcan is, smashing it and her into the corner! The flames had just died down however seconds before she hit. Alana is slouched against the corner of the ring as Morbious waits for the flames, but nothing. He approaches the corner and grabs Alana choking her and lifting her head up by the top of the turnbuckle when Alana does another low blow, this time with her whole leg! She reverses him and slams him face first into the trashcan. Alana backs off and coughs a bit as Morbious turns around and gets a spinning heel kick to the face by Alana sending him down to the mat. Alana is timid but waits a second, the flames hit and she waits for them to die. She quickly scurries to the top rope.

Hank - Is she crazy? If the pyros hit off, she's screwed! Those things are at random! No timers!

Alana gets to the top and perches, taking a chance. Morbious rises from the mat as he looks up, Alana leaps off as the flames hit directly as she's in mid-air barely missing her pants. She gets Morbious in a hurricanranna and takes him down hard! The crowd goes insane and starts up an Alana chant throughout the building. Alana is slow to get up but rests on the ropes as the flames start getting faster and faster, and higher and higher. Alana stalks down to Morbious and lifts him up, whipping him off the ropes. She goes for a standing drop kick but Morbious holds onto the ropes! She hits nothing but the mat as Morbious walks over to her, but as he goes down to lift her up, she quickly grabs his head and puts her feet on his chest and rocks back tossing him across the ring with her legs! Alana slowly stands up and gets a huge pop from the crowd.

Michael D - Alana is really holding her own her tonight, most thought Morbious would walk through this!

Alana walks over towards Morbious and goes to whip him off the ropes, but he reverses it into a short-arm clothesline! Alana almost gets her head taken off by the impact as Morbious gets a fed up look on his face. Fire blares on the turnbuckle again as he stops and smiles. He stalks Alana and lifts her up off the ground and picks her up with a huge gut-wrench and goes to powerbomb her into the turnbuckle! He is about to release when Alana manages to get a few shots to the face in, and pushes herself up and over his head. He turns around but Alana hits a standing drop kick, sending him back against the turnbuckle! The flames shoot off and catch the back of Morbious shirt and hair on fire! The ref sees this and calls for the bell awarding Alana as the winner!

Hank - What an introduction match for both members here tonight, but it was Alana coming out on top!

Michael D - But I really doubt this is the last we'll see of Morbious.

The camera follows Alana backstage, where she goes to her locker room to catch a breather after her first nWo victory. The camera zooms in as she closes her eyes and lets out a long breath. As she opens them she appears to be startled. She quickly stands up as the camera pans back to reveal Chastine, Daphne, and Daisy of The Elite Bitches standing right in front of her.

Alana- What do you want?

Chastine is the first one to smirk as she responds with a bitter tone.

Chastine- What do we want? Well how nice of you to ask. What we want is for you to pack up your bag and get the hell out of the nWo...forever!

Daisy and Daphne begin to laugh as Alana asseses the situation.

Alana- First of I don't even know who the hell you are. And second...no bitch, no matter how many of them there are, is gonna run me out of here! I just got here and I plan on staying around for a while. Now if you'll excuse me.

Surprisingly the three Elite Bitches move to the side and let Alana through. As she makes it to the door Chastine begins to speak.

Chastine- Well don't say we didn't try to warn ya!

As Alana opens the door she turns around and shoots a dirty look at the Elite Bitches. However, as she turns back around to leave she stands face to face with Chyna! Before she can even react Chyna clocks her with a forearm to the side of the head. Alana stunbles back but stays on her feet. Quickly Daphne comes us from behind and shoves Alana back into the waiting clutches of Chyna. In turn Chyna drags her out in the hallway and smashes her head hard up against the side of the wall. Alana falls to her knees but Chyna quickly grabs her by the hair and pulls her back up. She lands another forearm to the side of Alana' s head which sends her down to the ground. She starts to get back up but Chyna delivers a hard kick directly to her face. Chyna stands over Alana and smiles for a second. She reaches down and stands her up on her feet and walks off. Alana can barely keep her balance when from out of nowhere Daisy and Daphne, both armed with steel chairs, whack Alana making her head into the filling in a steel chair sandwhich. Alana crumples to the ground unconscious as blood begins to trickle from her right ear. Suddenly Chastine appears and bends down near Alana's face and begins to speak.

Chastine-Welcome to the nWo bitch!

The scene cuts back out to ringside as Mike and Hank look stunned.

Hank- I don't know what to say Mike, it looks like the Elite Bitches want to be the only bitches around! Wait, I'm getting a message that we are going live via satellite to our next match!

The cameras take us to inside a department store after what looks like closing hours.

Hank - Welcome to the first ever nWo K-Mark match!

Michael D - Before the match we want to share a little history about this match. It was first known as the K-Mart match. It was held in a federation known as the UPW.

'Shake yo' money maker' by Trina hits the pa and the fans grow quiet as the scene of Mexican Jackhammer Boniqua walks in K-Mark in a mumu. She begins looking throw the magazines. She picks up an ebony magazine and faces the nearest camera.

Mexican Jackhammer Boniqua - GIRRRRRLLLLL!!! I tell yo whut. Da other day when dos menz attacked-ed me whenz I wuz on the toirlet.... whoooo-weee! I found a interesting articKle in this magazinlet. It brought up such a good poirnt...

Without music or anything Chandra kicks the magazine rackon top of Mexican Jackhammer Boniqa. Chandra starts jumping up up and down on the magazine yelling at MJB to shut up. MJB rolls around saying 'Oh my.' Chandra screams and kicks MJB in the face with a pink high heel. Chandra grabs the collar of MJB's mumu (collar on a mumu?!) and tries to drag her out of the pile. MJB is screaming about her hip and Chandra can't move her. Chandra looks around for something to help her get MJB up. A spider crawls on Chandra shoulder and MJB sees it before Chandra does. MJB screams and starts pounding Chandra, much to Chandra surprise. Chandra starts backing up but has to turn and run from the raging MJB. Chandra runs into the toy car section. Chandra gets smart and grabs a couple loose ones and throws them in the floor. As MJB runs into the toy car section she grabs two bouncy balls to throw at Chandra. She spots Chandra at the end of the isle wearing those glasses that have the nose and mustache attached. MJB grunts and runs down the isle to throw the balls but her feet come out from under her as she hits the toy cars. Somehow, the bouncy balls get underneath MJB and she lands on them and they somehow send her flying into the air having her land on Chandra. Chandra crumbles to the weight and a tired ref comes to count, but slips onthe cars himself.

MichaelD - Uh... er... what?...

Hank - Okkkkkkay....

Chandra wedges free and MJB starts to get up. Chandra nails a dropkick that send MJB to her butt again. Chandra wants this non-sense to end, so sheruns to the sporting goods isle. Chandra grabs a metal baseball bat and waits on MJB. To come from either side of the isle. The camrea goes back to where MJB was, but SHE'S GONE!

Hank - I hope she went home.

The camera goes to the eagle eye view and starts scanning throw the isles, looking for MJB. When the camera gets to the Sporting good isle, we see Chandra... and MJB. MJB is approching on a power wheels smiling while drinking a slurpee. Chandra charges wildly with the bat but MJB slings the slurpee at Chandra knocking her on the ground. Red Slurpee drips down her face.

MichaelD - Chandra's been busted open!

Hank - That's Cherry slurpee Mike.

Michael- Oh.

MJB gets out of the power wheels and looks to be taking trash to Chandra. The camerazooms in and gets an audio.

MJB - GIRRRRLLLL! You done went and made me waste a slurpee on you! IMA call Jesus on you!

Just then, a puff of smoke comes up and Jesus from the Sweet Cheapshots Promos walks out. MJB screams and has a Ray Stanford heart-attack. Chandra gets up looking around confused. Jesus shrugs and walks away muttering about people saying his name and waisting his time. As he's walking away, Chandra jumps in the power wheels and drives on top of MJB for a pin count. 1...2...MJB jumps up to call for Jesus to come back and Chandra goes flying off with the Power Wheels.

Hank - ...

MichaelD - ...

Jesus turns around and MJB starts running at him with her arms spread. Jesus gets freaked out and a barrage of shoes starts clunking her in the head. MJB stands startled and Chandra takes the oppurtunity to nail a huge face buster on MJB. One stray shoe hits Chandra in the head and Chandra gets pissed off and turns around and flips off Jesus. Jesus gets wide and and pissed and snaps his fingers. He vanishes and when Chandra turns around, MJB is dressed in a Ninja outfit.

Hank and Michael D take off thier head sets and walk away. The match continues. MJB kicks Chandra hard in the face with a roundhouse. MJB is now a Ninja. Two wrestlers from the back come out and take over the headsets.

Stinky Steve - That was a Poo-riffic kick by MJB!

Narcissus - What's that smell?

MJB jumps gracefully to the top of a shelf. Chandra gets up stunned. MJB silently jumps across the isle to the other side. MJB pulls a Ninja Star out of her Ninja suit and throws it down on Chandra. Chandra jumps back just in time and kicks the isle over.

Narc - What a great counter by Chandra!

Stinky Steve - *picks his ass*

MJB falls to the floor and Chandra jumps on for the pin. 1..2..3!!

Hank and Michael D return to the table with thier heads hung low. They thank Stinky Steve and Narcisuss.

Hank - Well, Chandra picks up another win here at the K-Mark match.

MichaelD - I don't know what to say. Is Mexican Jackhammer Boniqua a ninja or something now?

The scene goes back to the nWo arena. Half the fans sit confused. In the backstage area, you see the LDE and Stinky Steve Wilkins next to the Protein Blast blimp, setting it up. When they're just about finished, the Mexican Jackhammers, Casio, Grangier, and Boniqua run out and attack the LDE and Stinky! Stinky runs away, as the Jackhammers tear up the LDE. When they're done, Casio pulls out a brick from inside the blimp, and throws it into the baloon, causing it to deflate. The cameras go back to the ring...

Hank- Why did the Mexican Jackhammers have to beat up the LDE and that blimp, they did nothing to them.

Mike D.- I know, but I bet it's so the LDE and Stinky won't interfere tonight in this match.

'Thugz Cry' by Bizzie Bone plays as a series of green pyros go off as The Mainstreamer and Sweet Cheapshots makes their way to the ring. They walk slowy as if zoned out to the crowd.

Hank- These two definately have to be considered the underdogs going into this one.

Mike D.- I agree. These two don't have nearly as much tag team experience as their opponents!

Again in the back, you see the NDE walk up to the Protein Blast blimp. They see the LDE knocked out, and they get pissed. "Bodies" by Drowning Pool begins to play, as Dick and Nester run down to the ring with determined looks in their faces.

Hank- I think the NDE wanted to come out in that blimp Mike.

Mike D.- How could you tell? Either way, the NDE looks focused they're my picks!

The bell sounds, and this match is underway! Nester runs at Cheap and Main, who deliver a nice double dropkick! Dick slowly walks over to Cheapy, and kicks him in the gut, and begins throwing some punches at him, but Mainy is right there to attack Dick from behind. Mainy whips Dick to the corner, and starts to run at him but Nester is right there and catches Mainy with a low blow, knocking him down. Cheap catches Nester with a bulldog knocking him down, and Dick catches Cheapy off guard as he runs and clotheslines him over the top rope to the outside. Dick spots Mainstreamer getting up, so he stomps at him a few times, not letting him reach his feet. Nester gets up, and he picks Mainstreamer up, as NDE hits a double piledriver to Mainstreamer. Nester goes for the pin. 1...2... Cheapshots pulls Nester out of the ring.

Hank- Geez, the match almost ended right there. The NDE work great as a unit, but you can't count out Cheap and Main!

Mike D.- This match is over! There's no way they can keep up with the combined skill of the Nasty Dick Experience!

Dick goes to hit Cheapy with a vaulting body press over the top rope, but Cheap dodges, and Dick hits Nester and goes down! Cheap pulls up a chair from next to the announce table, and nails Dick in the back with it, and then hits Nester with it in the head. Nester begins to bleed after that hit! Mainy is still down, as Cheapy goes to the apron, then heads to the top rope. Cheap dives down and hits an elbow drop on the back of the head of Dick. Cheap rolls Dick back in the ring, and rolls back in for the pin. 1...2... somehow Dick kicked out! Cheap gets furious, as Nester slowly gets back up, he tosses the chair Cheap used, and other into the ring. Cheap catches one chair from the ground and rears back to hit Dick with it, but Nester pulls the chair, stopping the hit. Cheap turns around and gets a stiff punch right in the nose! Cheap backs up, as Nester jumps over the rope and hits a cross body on Cheap, and gets a pin. 1...2... Mainstreamer is back up and he breaks the count. Dick gets back up, the NDE now destroy Mainy, then hit a Gazinya Spinebuster taking him down! Nester puts a chair around the ankle of Mainstreamer, and Dick puts one over his face. The NDE both climb to the top rope of different turnbuckles, and hit the Nasty Dick Explosion! Mainstreamer is out cold, Cheapy barely to hit feet. Nester makes the pin. 1...2... Cheap drops an elbow on Nester stopping the fall.

Hank- My God! This match is awesome, and it's been the NDE leading the whole way!

Mike D.- I know, I love it!!

Cheapy seems to have an energy burst, as he is now taking it to both Nester and Dick! Cheapy kicks Nester in the groin, stunning him, as Cheap runs to Dick and clotheslines him over the top rope. Nester catches Cheap from behind, though, with a reverse ddt. Nester makes the fall. 1...2... kickout by Cheapshots! Suddenly, Mainstreamer gets a kip-up! Mainy is back to his feet, and he looks to have an energy burst to! Nester can't believe Mainy is back up, as he charges for him, Mainy ducks, and what Nester turns back around, Fuckemuppercut! Nester falls down hard! Dick rolls back in the ring, and he gets a double axe handle set up, when Mainy hits the Streamliner! Cheap, slowly gets up, but climbs the top rope. Mainy hits a quick leg drop on Dick, then Cheapy leaps off and hits Dick with the Total Devestation! Cheapy rolls off in pain, as Mainy makes the cover. 1...2...3!!!

Hank- I can't believe it! Cheapshots and The Mainstreamer, after getting pracitcally destroyed the whole match, they pulled off a major upset!

Mike D.- I saw it! I can't even watch this. Mainstreamer cheated somehow! I know it! But, the bottom line is Cheap and Main are the new nWo Tag Team Champions!

After the match, the referee brings in the belts. Mainstreamer won't let the referee touch him, but he snatches his belt away. Mainy and Cheapy have a few words, when Main drops the Tag Title down in front of Cheapshots, and walks to the back. The camera follows Mainstreamer, as he drops his Television title down on a bench, and leaves the arena. But as soon as he gets outside the doors, policeman swarm around him and take him to the ground and cuff him. Amy comes running out pleading, but the officers ignore her and place him into the car... and Mainstreamer is grinning!

Michael D.- Did you see that? He dropped those titles like he knew something was about to happen to him! Whats going on?!

Hank- Well, he did destroy Brian Graves house... Amy warned him earlier in the week that the police were after him

Now its time for the semi-main event. Jugernaut and Christian Wright will be fighting for the Brutality Title in a professional wrestling first, Mike.

Michael D.- Yes, its the Death in a Cell match, a Japanese Death Match all within the confines of a cell. That massive structure is coming down around the ring as we speak, and just above it the Brutality Championship Belt!

Hank- That belt will hang twenty feet above the Cell itself, and there is a ladder laying on top of the Cell, and the winner is the man who can get to the top of that cage, climb that ladder, and remove that Brutality belt from the loop suspending it from the ceiling!!

Ozzy Osbourne's "Bark at the Moon" begins to play over the PA, and Jugernaut comes out holding a locked box with Ozzy at his side, Ozzy is singing the song through a portable mic and continues singing as Jugernaut steps into the cell. Jugernaut takes the box he was carrying under his arm and tosses it to Ozzy, who walks up the ramp and begins to unlock it.

'Cocky' by Kid Rock hits and the 'REAL Nature Boy' Christian Wright walks down the aisle cockily with his bodyguard Bohemoth by his side. Christian struts down the aisle as he makes his way to the ring. He steps into the cell, looking around a little disconcerted at what lays before him. Jugernaut is looking at him intensely as the ref forces Bohemoth to the outside of the cell, where Ozzy has just run downwith an armful of bats, doves, mice, and ferrets! He bites the heads off of each and everyone and spits them at Bohemoth, who looks disgusted. Ozzy laughs and returns to the backstage area, and several officials come over to lock the gate door. Christian does a little Flair strut, then turns to Jugs. Christian already has his knife out and is advancing quickly on Jugernaut. He twirls it around in his fingers like a trained expert, flipping it into the air and catching it behind his back, only to continue the twirling in his other hands. There is an intense look in his eyes as if he knows he is only showing off and is about to snap. He resembles a snake, coiled on the inside and ready to strike. Suddenly, Jugs tires of all this and reaches for Christian Wright. But Wright quickly spins around bringing the knife in a wide arc and tearing Jugernaut's cheek open. It doesn't go all the way through, tho, and only serves to piss Jugernaut off as black blood cuts down his cheek. He grabs Christian anyway and lifts him into the air for a powerslam. Christian bounces once and drops the knife, but Jugernaut has him already, like a cat toying with a mouse. The big man picks up the Brutality Champion and places him on his shoulder, running toward the cell with vicious intent.

Mike- Jugernaut is manhandling Christian Wright!

He launches Wright at the cage and Wright hits so hard that the entire cell rattles. Wright falls toward the C4 on the outside, but the bounce sends him toward the barbedwire ropes instead. Christian screams in pain as the barbs tear at his right shoulder. The pain seems to snap him fully awake again though, and he slides under the barbed wire, where a waiting Jugernaut recieves the full effect of a floor spin kick in the groin. Jugs staggers back as Christian regains his footing. Christian doesn't let Jugs fall all the way though, and sends him down with a special delivery of a haymaker. Jugernaut lands hard on his back as Christian takes stock of whats around him.

Hank- Japanese Death Matches are known for their unorthodox weapons... lets see what Wright comes up with..

He sees a box and runs over to it and his eyes widen in happy surprise. He tears the box into the air and runs at Jugernaut, but Jugs sweeps his legs out from under him, and Wright falls, the entire box of BROKEN FLOURESCENT BULBS following him down and snowing onto his face, chest and arms. The impact of the box drives a few shards into his body as Jugernaut gets up and the fans chant "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT" Jugs comes over and brings his heavy boots down into the mess of glass and box and blood and Brutality Champion. Wright convulses with each stomp, until Jugernaut grabs him up and sends him bodily over the top rope and into some C4! A flash of fire erupts and Christian Wright screams out in pain as his body is severly burned.

Michael D.- Dat looked hotta dan momma's jumbalaya!

Hank- You're cajun?

Mike- No...

Jugernaut smiles grimly down at Christian and looks around himself. He notices a long iron bar and takes it with him as he leaps over the top rope and uses the force of his body to impact the door open. He rolls onto his feet, bringing the bar up just as Bohemoth comes toward him. Bo steps back and puts his hands up, but as Jugernaut turns to climb the outside of the cage, the bar tucked beneath his arm, Bohemoth enters the cage, stepping carefully around the C4, to help Christian to his feet. Christian shakes out the cobwebs just as Jugs pulls himself over the edge of the cage and onto the roof where the ladder and the Brutality Title waits! Christian rolls into the ring quickly and grabs up the knife he dropped earlier. He looks up and slings the knife skyward, where it sticks into Jugernauts left boot all the way to the hilt! Jugernaut yells out in pain and stumbles backward clutching his foot!

Hank- Christian Wright's been trying to tell us how good he's gotten with that knife all week... that was a sniper's shot!

Michael D.- Yeah, snipers don't throw knives Hankie.

Bohemoth looks shocked as Jugernaut lifts his boot disoriented from the sudden surprise pain. He loses his balance, and the crowd holds its collective breath as Jugernaut falls backward off the roof of the cell! Jugernaut lands hard on the concrete floor outside the cell!

Hank- Dear God!

Just then, Jesus walks down to the announcers booth.

Jesus- You rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaang?

Mike D.- It's an expression, oh Lord.

Jesus gives a stern look and turns away, muttering something about telemarketers. Jugernaut lays there stunned from his fall for a moment as Christian looks around for another weapon. He nods as he goes to the opposite side of the ring and reaches for something leaning on the apron. Jugernaut is up! He has pulled the knife from his boot and is coming toward the cell door, looking eerily like Spatter with that bloody knife swinging in his grasp! Bo heads toward the door to try and fend him off, but Christian yells his name and slides what he reached for to him. Its a square of plywood with nails driven through it! Bohemoth picks it up and holds it up, nails side out as Christian runs and leapfrogs the ropes, sending a dropkick at the board and driving the nails through the cell gate and into Jugernaut's face! Jugernaut falls backward and over the security barrier holding his face in pain. Christian Wright's momentum carried him outside the cage, and now he is looking around to make sure Jugernaut is not up. Bohemoth yells to him to get to the top of the cage, and Christian immediately turns to climb it. He gets all the way to the top, but Jugernaut is up!

Hank- The fans again with the "HOLY SHIT" chants!

Michael D.- Christian notices how unstable the top of the cage is, made up of little more than another fence, and has some trouble getting the ladder to stand up on it properly.

Meanwhile Jugernaut is climbing the cage as quickly as possible. He gets to the top and rushes at Christian Wright, knocking him flat on his ass with a clothesline from hell! Jugernaut grabs the ladder and folds it up and begins using it to bludgeon the downed Christian Wright! He takes the ladder and folds it over Christian Wrights head!

Hank- No! He's going to crush the Brutality Champs head! He's going to kill him!

Jugernaut considers for a moment and leaps over Christian, about to drop one hell of a leg on him, but is met in midair by a spear from Bohemoth!

Michael D.- How'd he get up there that damn fast?

Bohemoth rolls with Jugernaut dangerously close to the edge, and Jugernaut gets his bearings quickly. He grabs Bohemoth and tosses him off. Bohemoth lands on the roof of the cage and it sags menacingly. Christian Wright has gotten the ladder from around his head, but as he gets to his feet, Jugernaut clocks him in the back of the head with the iron bar! Jugs swings it just in time to catch Bohemoth on the second wind, knocking him down as well. With both men lying in a daze, Jugernaut sets the ladder up once more, and begins to climb. He's about halfway up, and we can see his foot is bothering him from that knife shot. He takes a short break, but he doesn't notice that Christian Wright is slowly getting up!

Hank- This is incredible! Bohemoth isn't even up yet!

Christian Wright staggers around a little,and comes over to the ladder and looks up. Jugernaut still hasn't noticed him,and he begins to climb up the opposite side. Jugernaut finally sees him when he gets on the same level, and the two begin to trade off right hands, trying with what energy they have left to knock the other one off. Jugernaut finally stumbles down a couple of rungs due to his foot losing feeling, and Christian advances upward. He gets to the second rung from the top, but Jugernaut is coming up again! Christian sees and stops reaching for the Brutality Title. He drops down one step, and just as Jugernaut gets one rung below him, Christian leapfrogs over the top of the ladder into a reverse dragon rana! It carries him and Jugernaut off the ladder, and a scream is heard echoing throughout the arena from some audience member as Christian grabs the bottom of the ladder and Jugernaut hits the roof of the cell hard enough to go through! Almost the entire roof of the cell collapses as Jugernaut and Bohemoth are both sent to the floor amid a massive explosion of C4!! The "HOLY SHIT" chants are replaced by chants of "OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Mike D.- Oh my G- goodness! Wright just KILLED Jugernaut!

The ladder meanwhile, has caught on one of the few cross bars of the cell roof and Christian Wright dangles from the bottom of it precariously. He looks around slowly, and uses the ladder to climb back up to the cross bar. He pulls the ladder up behind him slowly, and sets it carefully on two crossbars. He climbs slowly, looking around at the floor the whole time, waiting for Jugernaut to get up. Jugernaut isn't budging... Christian gets to the top of the ladder and grabs the Brutality Title from its hold!

Hank- He's done it! Christian Wright retains the Brutality Title!

The bell rings as Christian looks around, wondering how the hell to get down. Just then the fans go nuts as a man strapped to a chair is lowered from the ceiling, just like the belt was lowered earlier. Its Nasty Nester DeFranco!

Hank- Wait a minute... Nester is the Brutality number one contender

Mike D.- Don't be paranoid, he's just trying to help Christian down... see?

Nester reaches out a helping hand to Christian Wright, and hooks the other arm under his shoulder and the chair continues to lower to the ring. Christian Wright looks like he's about to kiss the ring mat in relief as Nester unstraps himself and stands up, unnoticed by Christian Wright... and knocks Christian Wright to the floor with the chair still open! What the hell!?! He takes the chair and folds it up around Wrights ankle, and then goes and climbs up on the turnbuckle...

Hank- No, Hell no!

He turns and looks at the cage,and climbs it as well. He gets to where the roof used to be, and balances himself on the edge. Suddenly, he launches himself off into a Total Devestation right onto the chair! Wright twists up reeling with hella pain as Nester stands up clutching his midsection and laughing his ass off! He exits the Cell and backs up the ramp laughing at Christian Wright, wincing now and then from the chair he just frogsplashed onto!

The scene cuts backstage one last time to show the NDE in their locker room with mixed emotions. Dick looks thoroughly pissed. Nester looks slightly relieved over what he has just done, and the LDE just looks dissappointed by the trashing of their plans. Stinky Steve looks like he just passed gas. Dick picks up a table and flips it against a wall, causing it to fall to pieces. Everyone jumps, but Midget #1, who is staring at the TV. He begins to jump up and down and everyone looks as Ichabod comes out to the ring. The NDE glares, each one muttering something different at the President of nWo. Their eyes widen in surprise as Ichabod announces that the NDE, with the exception of Stinky Steve, will not be able to participate in the upcoming King Karnage tournament. Nester, LDE, Stinky Steve, and Dick all head for the door, but upon reaching it realize its been locked and barricaded!! They begin to yell and pound on the door in protest, and Dick and Nester finally walk to the rest of the room and tear it apart. The LDE rushes at the door and slams into it, only to crumple from the impact. The camera goes back to ringside where Ichabod is just leaving.

Michael D- Well that was a shock from President Ichy.

Hank- Yes, but who can say they didn't deserve it?

We cut away from Hank and Michael D at ringside, to an undisclosed location. It looks like a carnival, but everything's shut down. Well...almost everything. In a clearing past the rides, past the ticket booths, past the games, past everything, isolated against the balck backdrop of this starry night, stands the house of mirrors. A large neon clown face stares out across the amusement park, overlooking the entrance. A brand new red chevy extreme screeches to a halt some short distance away, kicking up a cloud of dust. The car door opens, and out steps the challenger, The Extreme Legend himself, Brian Graves. He walks quickly, confidently up twoards the entrance, until he sees the giant neon clown head staring down at him.

Brian- Sweet Jebus that thing gives me the creeps!

HOWDY FOLKS!

The booming voice echoes out from the mouth of the giant clown head, obviously through a hidden speaker. Brian jumps back, startled out of his wits before he's at last able to put two and two together. He looks up, staring at the giant neon clown.

DO YOU LIKE BLOOD? VIOLENCE? FREAKS OF NATURE? WELL THEN COME ON IN TO CAPTAIN SPAULDING'S HOUSE OF MIRRORS AND MADMEN! AND DONT FORGOT TO TAKE HOME SOME OF MY TASTY FRIED CHICKEN! HA-HAAA! IT JUST TASTES SO DAMN GOOD!

Brian shakes his head to himself a moment and walks up the stpes, dissappearing inside the House of Mirrors while muttering something under his breath about clowns. We cut to the other side of the House of Mirrors as a long stretch limosuine pulls up slowly coming to a stop. Cheapshots steps out from the limo, looking around. He scratches his head a moment, looking up at the large neon clown head.

Cheapshots- Jesus!

Jesus- Yes Cheapshots? Anything I can help you with?

Cheapshots turns around to see Jesus looking over his shoulder with a smiling inquisitive look on his face.

Cheapshots- Oh...sorry about that.

Jesus- It's okay.

Cheapshots- Nothing really...I was just gonna say 'Jesus is that clown creepy'

Jesus- Well, if you want my answer, I'd have to say...yes. Yes, that clown is definately creepy. Say, did I ever tell you that all Clowns go t--

Cheapshots- --Well ! Thanks for showing up Jesus, but I really oughta go!

Jesus- Yea, my child, I am with you always.

Cheapshots- Huh?

Jesus- Get going already ya cheap bastard and beat Brian Graves.

Cheapshots- Oh, ok! Thanks Jesus!

And with that Cheapshots runs up the whole 3 steps doing a Rocky pose, before turning and dissappearing into the house of mirrors. The camera twists around, cutting to an over the shoulder look as a shadowy figure rests aaginst one of the darkened rides, smoking a cigarette as it watches the challenger and the champion dissappear into the house of mirrors. Just as we leave this mysterious stranger, we catch just the start of a whistled tune.

Michael D- Who the heck was that Hank?

Hank- I haven't got a clue Mike, but whoever it is...I've got a bad feeling about them.

Michael D- You and your 'bad feelings'. You know what your problem is Hank? You're a drunk.

Hank- Just shutup and help me call the match Mike!

We cut to a corner mounted camera view from somewhere inside the Hall of Mirrors. Cheapshots wanders endlessly back and forth, stopping, reaching out, turning direction. He walks by a funhouse mirror, barely taking notice. He stops, looks back. He turns and walks back to the mirror, taking a look at himself. He looks at the image with distaste. He quickly turns around and grabs his hips.

Cheapshots- Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was this big? No more fig newtons for me!

The mirror infront of him shatters, broken shards flying out in all directions as a large man wearing a leather mask crashes into Cheapshots, driving him against the wall. The champ breaks free of his attack, pummeling him with swift lefts and rights, sending the stocky man staggering. The Cheap one plants a quick kick into the man';s groin, dropping him to the ground. Breathing heavy, still recoving from the shock, Cheapshots stares down at the mystery man with a puzzled look on his face.

Cheapshots- By Cheaps, who the heck are you?

The man only groans as he rolls around on the floor. Cheapshots shakes his head to himself, trying to figure out what to do about this stranger. We cut to another camera watching Brian graves winding his way through the maze, stopping, and then cursing as he hits a dead end. He backstracks a short distance as the camera turns to keep sight of him. He stops, scratching his head a second as he looks around in confusion.

Brian- Did I just take a left..or was that a right?...Or maybe..err..then again...but wasn't I...dammit!

Brian turns round and round, feeling dizzy. He stops to lean up against a mirror, trying to collect his thoughts. He glances up into a twisted misshapen reflection of his face. He jumps back, startled and a look of horror stetching across his face.

Brian- Jebus! Now I'm even starting to LOOK like an nWo champion! Cheapshot's promo's are worse than I thought!

He stares at it a moment, then slaps his forehead. There's a slogan painted up on a small strip of wood just above the mirror- Hope you like what you see.

Brian- Doh! Now I get it..funhouse mirror...really clever Cheapy...really clever.< /i>

He turns to walk off, when he hears the roar of a chainsaw sparking to life. He whirls around, staring in horror as the saw justs out from the wall where he was just standing. A second slowler, and he'd have gotten an up close and personal look at how well it cuts.

Brian- Shit! Another second, and I've have been hamburger...

Brain suddenly was taking Cheapshots much much more serious than before. We cut back to Cheapshots standing over the downed stranger, scratching his head. A look comes across his face, and he gets an idea. He reaches down for the stranger, tugging at the leather mask.

Cheapshots- Now we'll see who you really are!

He halfway tugs the mask off, stumbling back.

Cheapshots- Old man Withers who owns the haunted amusement park! I knew it was you the whole time!

He steps over to look at the stranger's face. He qucikly shoves the mask back on, trying to keep from spewing. Irritated he starts to pace back and forth in the small hallway ranting.

Cheapshots- Ohh! Sick! Did Cheapshots request freaks? DID HE? WHEN DID CHEAPSHOTS SAY TO NWO, HEY BRING IN THE FREAKS?...Don't answer that chump!

He slips something out of his pocket, it's a pair of brass knucks! Cheapshots looks up just as the stocky man is climbing to his feet. The ole Cheap bastard reels back, and socks it right to the big man, sending him right back down and out for the count. Cheapshots shakes his hand wildy back and forth.

Cheapshots- Ow ow ow ow!

As he turns to look back, the big man's already back to his feet, grabbing for something inside the broken mirror. It's a sledgehammer! Cheapshots takes one look at the man, turns, and runs. The big man stands there a moment, watching, and then slowly stalks after him.

Michael D- Holy shit Hank! Who the hell is that guy?

Hank- I don't have a clue Mike, but he's got to be damn tough to get up from a pair of brass knuckles to the face.

Michael D- Run Cheapshots! Run! Run like the wind blows!

We cut back to Brian as he wanders down another possibly endless hallway, stumbling and fukbling around trying not to smakc face first into a mirror. He turns and whack! A rake flies up smacking him right across the face! Brian makes a grumble and bends down picking it up with an incredulous look on his face.

Brian- Good one Cheapy...the old Simpson's rake to the face trick...and I'm the unoriginal one? Sheesh!

It's about that time that he hears the roar of the chainsaw. It rips out from the wall, cutting towards his head in a wide arc. He drops down, rolling away, and jumping to his feet. The wall gives way and someone busts through waving an old rusty chainsaw wildly about. The dust clears and Brian stares at what's got to be the most sadistic looking clown in all recorded history. He takes one look at the chainsaw weilding maniac, and turns, hauling ass in the opposite direction. The clown stalks after graves, dragging the chainsaw behind him. We cut to simeltaneous shots as we watch Brian and Cheapshots running, hauling ass as they try to find their way through the maze of mirrors. Before they even realize it, they both stumble into a clearing. A referee steps out from the shadows, looking at both men a moment. Weapons are scattered all over the ground.

Ref- Glad you could make it genetlemen, here are the rules!

Brian- Hey outta the way you Cheap bastard, I'm trying to lose this homicidal clown with a chainsaw that's after me!

Cheapshots- Hey chumpstain, you get outta MY way, I'm trying to lose some big ugly with a sledgehammer that's after ME!

Brian- No! You get outta MY way!

Cheapshots- NO! YOU get outta MY way, shoe clown!

Brian- Shoe clown--that's a real good one! So was hiring that freak with the chainsaw to chase me in here! Who the HELL TALKED!?

Cheapshots- The Cheap one doesnt have a clue what you're talking about, chump!

Ref- GENTLEMAN! Ahem. The rules are simple. Pinfall or submission are your only tickets out of this room.

And as if to illustrate that point, immediately heavy iron bars slide down, locking into place over the 4 exits to the open room. Brian and Cheapshots glare one another down as the referee trys to keep them apart.

Ref- These gates will open only after pinfall or submission. They will stay open approximately one minute before they close again. First one out of the house of mirrors is the winner. Are you both ready?

Cheapshots- The Cheap one is always ready!

Brian- It's go time!

Hank- Business is about to pick up folks!

Michael D- It's about time Hank! But who the heck were those other guys?

Hank- I wish I knew Mike...it doesn't look like Cheapshots or BG knows who they are either...

Ref- Readyyyyyyyy...go!

The referee quickly backs away as Cheapshots and BG begin slugging it out, trading punches left and right, neither man backing down from the fight. Graves charges in, but Cheapshots turns his own momentum against him, whipping him face first against the wall of mirrors. An impact creater crackes out across the mirror as Brain pushes himself off, blood trickling down from countless tiny cuts on his face. He turns glaring at Cheapshots. He rears back, and in an insant drops down, sweeping Cheapshots' legs out from underneath him. The Extreme Legend quickly climbs atop the champ, pounding his fists into Cheapshots' face over and over again, refusing to let up for a second. The champ grabs hold of BG, and the two roll across the ground, struggling until Cheapshots comes off on top. He nearly plants his brass knucks right square into Brain's bloody face, but the Extreme Leged moves his head at the last second and Cheapshots hits nothing but solid concrete flooring. Graves takes this opportunity to power out, and shoves Cheapshots off. The Extreme Legend quickly to his feet reaches, grabbing an aluminum baseball bat. Cheaps races to his feet, CRACK! Brian smashes the bat right across the small of his back! The champ is down! Brain drops down for the pin...1...2...3! SCREEEEEEE! The bars riase up back to the cieling, and Brian is quick to his feet, headed for the nearest exit. WHACK! Brian runs dead on into a mirror. CRACK! A black steel folding chair plasters him right across the back, smashing him right back into the mirror. Cheapshots grabs hold of Brian, going to throw him face first into the mirror. Briak throws his foot up, blocking the attempt. He wraps his arm around Cheapshot's head, plants a quick chop to the throat, but Cheapshots whips Graves back towards the room, charging after him. SKREEEE! The bars come racing down, they slam back to the floor, locking Cheapshots and Brian in once more.

Hank- Well, so much for that attempt by the Extreme Legend. He'll have to do better then that if he wants the world title Mike.

Michael D- Yeah he will Hank.

Brian quickly catches himself on the iron bars, turning around and ducking just in time to avoid an attempted follow up chairshot from the champion. Graves rises up, planting a hellacious blwo right into Cheapshot's gut, followed by a second, and a third, Graves lands a solid right hook that sends Cheapshots stumbling back, dropping the chair. Brian charges, and spears him into the wall; the mirror explodes into shards, some of them cutting into Cheapshot's back. BG plants a boot to Cheapshot's gut, stunning him. He attempts the Special Delivery, but Cheapshots slips out, and smashes Graves to the mat with the Shocker! He drops down for the count...1...2..Brian kicks out! Cheapshots glares at the ref shouting at him about a slow count. He drops down and locks on an armbar submission! Graves's face lights up in pain, and he quickly taps out, knowing it's the only way. The champ grins and is quickly to his feet, headed for one of the 3 remaining exits SKREEEEEE, the iron bars are quickly back to the cieling and Cheapshots is hauling ass. Brian is quickly up and chasing after him.

Michael D- I've been thinking Hank...say only two of the exits are real...won't Cheapshots or Brian have to go back past that clown or the guy in the leather mask?...

Hank- For their sake, I hope not Mike.

VRR-UNNNN!!! We hear the chainsaw roar to life. The camera cuts to the nearest hallway. The deranged clwon is standing at the end of the hallway, waving the rusty chainsaw around wildly in the air. Cheapshots rounds the corner into the hall, and comes to a dead stop. Brian races around the corner to grab the champ, but also suddenly stops. He attempts to shove Cheapshots towards the freak, but the champ clamps his hand onto the wall at the last second, saving himself from the maniac. Fans across the arena are booing Brain like crazy!

Michael D- Listen to this capacity crowd Hank!

Hank- I hear them loud and clear Mike...of all the low down things to try...my God, there's no telling what could've happened to Cehapshots if Grave's plan had worked! It's just sick!

The champ and challenger trade off punches for a moment, but are quickly interrupted as the maniac clwon moves in, wildly swinging his saw at the two. Both men turn to haul ass back towards the clearing as the bars are racing down SKREEE. Brian jerks cheapshots backward, trying for the clearing, but the Cheap one isn't about to get left behind and quickly hauls ass, diving into the room in the nick of time as the bars slam down shut behind him. We can hear the chainsaw some short ways off as both men quickly turn on each other once more. Brian grabs up Cheapshots and sends him crashing inbto the floor full of broken miror shards with a belly to back suplex. Graves attempts an elbow drop, but Cheapshots rolls out of the way. Graves hits nothing but mirror and concrete wit a dull thud. Cheapshots drags Brian up to his feet, and connects with a short arm clothesline, knocking Brian right back down to his feet. The ole Cheap bastard drops down for an ankle lock, but Brian plants his boot right into the champ's face, sending blood trickling out of Cheapshot's nose and busting his lip open. Graves is halfway to his feet when Cheaps grabs hold of the baseball bat, stepping back. Graves staggers to his feet, and KABAM! Cheaps lets loose and connects solidly with Brian's gut, knocking the wind right out of him. Cheapshots picks him up and jackhammers him to the concrete. He hooks the leg..

Michael D- Did you see the hit he took from Cheapshots?How did he do it Hank?

Hank- Graves showing he's one hell of an athelete, and one hell of a nWo superstar, weather he likes it or not Mike.

Cheapshots can't believe it! He's about to shout at the referee when the squeal of metal against metal catches everyone's attention. The maniac clown is at the barred exit, grinding the old rusty chainsaw against the bar. Cheapshots get's a worried look on his face as he tries to figure out what to do. Brian isn;t about to let this opportunity slip by, and reaches up, wrapping his arms around Cheapshot's throat, claming on a sleeper. Cheapshots struggles, rolling around on the floor back and forth trying to shake the Extreme Legend, but it's no use. The ref finally drops down to check on the Cheap one. He raises the champs arm once...it falls....twice...it falls...a thrid time..and it falls! SKREEEEEEE! The iron bars begin to life up once again, and only now does Brian get to see the trouble he has to deal with now. The maniac stalks into the clearing, rusty chainsaw still running. He turns, looking down Brian graves with a sick smile as drool runs over his painted lips. Brian backs up, heading for the opposite exit slowly as the maniac moves in for the kill, his eyes staring right through the Extreme Legend. In an instant, the clown charges in, Brian ducks, and a sledgehammer swings, clobbering right across the side of the clwon's face, sending him crashing to the ground, his rusty chainsaw falling out of his grip. The man in the leather mask makes a second swing, trying again for Brian, who quickly rolls out of the way. The sledgehammer crashes down agains thte concrete with a loud thud. Cheaps is starting to show signs of life...Brian grabs up the baseball bat, taunting the big man to try him. The masked man seems unaffected, and simply stalks forward, sledgehammer in hand. Brian winds up, SMACK! The bat smashes right against the mass of muscle across his arm with a thump. The man stops for a moment, glancing at his arm a moment, then turns to glare at Brian. He swings, Brian ducks, and the sledgehammer crashes against one of the mirrors shattering it in an insant. Broken bits of mirror crash down ontop of Brian as he ducks and covers before quickly rising halfway to his feet. He plants a huge left right into the masked man's huge abs, followed by a second, a third, a fourth, a whole series of punches right into this mans gut. SKREEEEE. The bars slam back down, locking the champ and challenger in with these psychopaths. The masked man simply glares down at Brian a moment before raising the sledgehammer up over his head. Graves sees this and moves to haul ass out of the way, when a foot comes up right between the masked man's legs, sending the seemingly nigh invulnerable machine to it's knees, dropping the hammer to the ground. Cheapshots looks up at Brian a moment.

Cheapshots- Looks like your plan backfired shoe clown!

Brian- MY plan, you're obviously the one who--

He doesnt have time to complete his accustation however, because he'squickly tackled to the ground by the maniac clown, who's now laughing his head off as he begins pounding Grave's head against the concrete over and over and over again, drool and blood running over his facepaint. He's laughing and laughing as he pounds Bran, when CRACK! Cheapshots smashes a chair right across the side of his face, knocking him off. Brian goes to say something, but Cheapshots kicks him in the gut and drops down, looking for the three count...1..2...3! Except there's no ref to count. Cheapshots looks up and around, quickly searching for the ref, who must've ran off when the real action started up. He reaches down, picking up something. It looks like some sort of branding iron, crossed with a cattle prod. He rolls Brian over, clicks down on a switch, and plants the brand right down on Brians other cheek. Graves shakes and shivers for a few seoncds, and then Cheapshots pulls the branding iron back as smoke rises up off from Brian's ass to reveal the word cheapshots has been burned in! The masked man is starting to move, the clown's still twitching on the floor...smack! Graves gets a solid left right across Cheap's jaw, knocking him back and off. Brain quickly to his feet, trying to ignore the burning pain in his ass, goes to grab up the sledgehammer before the masked man can. He turns on Cheaps, about to smash him into pulp for what he's done.

Cheapshots- Hold it shoe clown, where the hell did your referee go?

Brian- MY referee, this is your match, he's YOUR referee! How convenient, I'm about to pick up the win, and wow! He's dissa--

HOWDY FOLKS!

The booming voice came across some sort of hidden sound system. Brian and Cheapshots both are momentarily distracted, with a look of what the hell? on their faces.

DO YOU LIKE BLOOD? VIOLENCE? FREAKS OF NATURE?