True Hero
by Mike Pachuta
Just looking at the title of this commentary, you would probably think that it is going to be about Kurt Angle in some way, shape or form. But it's not, and I want to make that perfectly clear. All right, I will devote just a little of my time to writing about Kurt, but only so I can explain why he is not a hero.
In my opinion, Kurt is dumb. Everybody else involved with the World Wrestling Federation seems to know that it is not a good idea to mess with the Undertaker. I mean, it's practically written into the employee handbook. But Kurt Angle has seemed to seek out Taker lately, and it would behoove him not to.
The milk incident is the first thing that comes to mind. Sure, maybe Kurt was a little overexcited after his match, but even Mideon knew enough not to touch Undertaker's motorcycle. Of course, Kurt realized that it was his bad after the fact, but he should have realized what he was doing in the first place. No hero is that dumb.
So know you are sitting there thinking, "So since Mideon is so smart, maybe HE is the hero." No, Mideon is no hero. He's actually not too much smarter than Kurt is. Any man who seeks out an Acolyte to fight with has some serious mental issues that need to be dealt with.
So now the big mystery is what makes a person a hero? Obviously, it doesn't take brains. So what does it take?
The dictionary defines a hero as a person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life. Angle may be sacrificing his life, but not for a noble purpose.
But a hero is more than just what the dictionary defines him as. Every person in every generation in the history of the world has had a hero or a person to look up to. That person may be a parent or a relative, a friend. Maybe that person is someone they've never even met - somebody who's in the public eye.
Millions of years ago, there were cave men walking around. But my guess is that they probably didn't do much walking after the sun set. Since the only light they had was the moon and the stars, the cavemen probably spent a lot of time sitting around in the dark. Either that, or they were out running into trees. Then one day, totally by accident, Caveman Thag invented fire and totally changed the course of history. Who knows what happened to Thag when he came about his invention? He may have died, or he may have become the richest man of his time, owning the finest berries and rocks. By definition, Thag was and always will be a hero. He put his life on the line for the betterment of mankind.
A few hundred years ago, another man risked everything he had to change the course of history. Christopher Columbus wanted to find a short cut to India. Everyone told him it was impossible.
But Columbus stood strong for what he believed in, saying, "If it wasn't impossible, then it would be the way." As it turned out, the way Columbus went was the long way, but he did discover a couple whole new continents. He was a big-time hero for just having survived the trip.
In this modern era, the definition of a hero has changed. No longer do we put people up on pedestals if they discover something new. Instead we call them heroes because they do things that not many other people can do.
Michael Jordan is still a hero because he played basketball better than anyone else on the planet.
Darva Conger might be a hero to gold-digging women everywhere. All she had to do was show up, and the guy married her - and he wasn't even 90 years old!
And who, you may ask, is my choice for hero? A hero in the World Wrestling Federation would need to have accomplished three things in his life. First, he would have had to be a champion at some point in his career. Not necessarily the Federation Champion, but just hold any kind of title for any amount of time.
Since he is in the Federation, he also would have to have accomplished something that no one else has done. Nothing in particular, just anything. My choice for Federation hero would also have to be a risk-taker. Not a guy who takes stupid risks like mess with Undertaker, but a guy who takes risks that will benefit him.
And that's why there is a tie for Federation Hero.
These two men were the owners of the Tag Team Title and they take unprecedented risks in the ring. They also accomplished something no one else has - they have had both Lita and Terri accompany them to the ring.
The Federation Co-Heroes are Matt and Jeff Hardy.
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