Ring Announcer - Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 180 pounds...POINDEXTER!
Ring Announcer - And now, the NJWF Intercontinental Champion...African Heat!
:::African Heat makes his way to the ring and immediatley begins going to work on Poindexter. The bell sounds as the match is under way. African Heat begins teh match with some clubs to the neck Poindexter. African Heat gets behind Poindexter and hits him with a big back body drop. He goes in for the cover. 1...2...Kick out by Poindexter.:::
P.J. - It is far too early to go for the pin. African Heat should be more worried about wearing Poindexter out.
The Mullet - I agree. African Heat can easily defend his title as long as he plays it safe.
:::Poindexter gets up from the coer and begins delivering chops to the chest of African Heat. African Heat is lying up against the turnbuckle as Poindexter continues to chop at the chest of African Heat. Poindexter attempts to deliver a haymaker, but African Heat counters with a big body blow. African Heat hits Poindexter with a Manhattan drop. Poindexter is in a daze while African Heat taunts Poindexter and gets the crowd into the match. African Heat grabs Poindexter and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound he hits the ref and knocks him out cold. As this happens, African Heat's arch rival Throbbinhood comes down to the ring. African Heat Doesn't see him.:::
The Mullet - My God!!! It's Throbbinhood! Ref...WAKE UP! African Heat doesn't see him. Oh NO...Throbbinhood has a chair.
P.J. - My God. Dammit! He's going to ruin this match. My damn God!
:::African Heat continues to taunt Poindexter as Throbbinhood whacks him the back of the head with a steal chair. African Heat hits the canvas as the crowd boos Throbbinhood. Throbbinhood drags Poindexter on top of African Heat as the ref awakens. The ref begins to count. 1...2...3...PIN!
The Mullet - We've got a new champion! Poindexter is the new Intercontinental Champion. You can guarantee that African Heat will take this decision up with the CEO on Thickness next Thursday.
P.J. - There is no way Throbbinhood and Poindexter are going to get away with this.
Ring Announcer - Your winner, and new Intercontinental Champion...Poindexter!
Ring Announcer - Introducing first, the challengers, Agent X and The Spy...THE C.I.A.!
Grudge Match
The Thug vs. D. Man
Ring Announcer - In this months Grudge Match, The Thug has a bone to pick with D. Man. Introducing first, The Thug!
Ring Announcer - And now, introducing...D. Man!
:::D. Man makes his way to the ring and is immediatley scooped up into a slam by The Thug. The Thug then locks up a sleper hold on D. Man. D. Man is able to get the ropes for a rope break. D. Man gets up and begins trading punches with The Thug. The Thug is knocked out of the ring by a huge right hand by D. Man. The Thug reaches under the ring and picks up a trash can.:::
P.J. - What the hell?! He's got the damn Trash can. Looke out D. Man!
:::D. Man can out of the ring not knowing that The Thug is waitng with that trash can. He walks right into the blow with the trash can by The Thug. The Thug runs up to the turnbuckle and drops an elbow from the top.:::
The Mullet - D. Man needs a miracle. There is no way he can come back from this. He needs something big.
:::The Thug begins to taunt the crowd. They cheer and start chanting for The Thug. D. Man grabs a bat from under the ring. He climbs back up into the ring. The Thug Sees him and turns around with a dropkick to the chest of D. Man. The Thug pulls brass knuckles out of his pockets.:::
P.J. - He's got the brass knucks. Dammit!
:::The Thug stradles the body of D. Man and begins working D. Man's chest with the brass knuckles. The Thug picks up D. Man and sets him up for his finisher. The Thug hits him with the Back Alley.:::
The Mullet - BACK ALLEY! This match is over!
:::The Thug goes in for the pin. 1...2...3...PIN.:::
P.J. - It's over! The Thug is your winner!
Ring Announcer - Here is your winner...The Thug!
Tag Team Title Match
C.I.A. vs. The Dynasty
Ring Announcer - And now...your Tag Team champions...The Emporer and The Chinaman...THE DYNASTY!
:::The Emporer and Agent X get things started by exchanging hacks to the face. Agent X nails a scoop slam on The Emporer. THe Emporer retaliates with a sweep kick knocking Agent X to the ground. The Emporer climbs to the top turnbuckle looking for the elbow drop, but The Spy clubs the back of the knee and knocks him to the canvas. Agent X makes his way to the corner and tags in The Spy. The Spy goes to work on The Emporer with some kicks to the chest. The Spy taunts The Emporer and lets him go tag in The Chinaman. The Chinaman comes in ready to attack. The Chinaman delivers a superkick to the neck of The Spy. He is out cold. The Chinaman climbs to the top rope and gets ready for the won ton bomb. He hits it with great precision.:::
P.J. - My God! He hit the won ton bomb! The Spy is down and out!
:::The Chinaman tags in The Emporer. The emporer picks up The Spy and sets him up for The Dynasty.:::
The Mullet - My goodness. Don't do it! Oh My God! Dynasty!
:::The Emoporer delivers The Dynasty and goes in for the cover. Agent X comes in to break it up but the Chinaman knocks him over by throwing his boot at him. The Emporer gets the count. 1...2...3...PIN!:::
P.J. - It's over! The Dynasty defends the titles!
Ring Announcer - Your winners, and still champions...THE DYNASTY!
Ring Announcer - In this 4-way title match, introducing first, from parts unknown...RIPLEY!
:::***Ripley's music plays and the arena goes dark. A flash of light and Ripley is in the center of the ring.***::: Ring Announcer - And now, your North American Champion..."Ironman" Max Power!
:::The Ironman makes his way to the ring as the crwod cheers him on.:::
P.J. - We are underway in this match.
:::The Hoser starts things out with The Czar. The Czar hits The Hoser in his face with his forearm. The Hoser comes back with a martial arts kicks to the chest.:::
:::The Gorilla gets things going with a chop to the throat Santa Claws. The Gorilla grabs Santa Claws by the arm whips him into the ropes. Santa Claws drop kicks him on the rebound off the ropes. Santa Claws locks in a leg lock no the champ. The Gorilla works his way over to the ropes to gain the rope break. As he gets up Santa Claws hits him with the screwdriver. The Gorilla gets up and scoop slams Santa Claws. Santa Claws counters with a DDT. The Gorilla is lying flat on his back. Santa Claws lionsaults off the ropes and covers The Gorilla. 1...
kick out by The Gorilla.:::
4 Way Elimination North American Title Match
Ripley vs. The Judge vs.The Best Dressed Man vs. "Ironaman" Max Power
Ring Announcer - Introducing now, weighing in at 280 pounds, The Judge!
Ring Announcer - Introducing now, weighing in at 185 pounds...The Best Dressed Man!
:::The Judge starts out this match with a huge kick to chest of Max Power, knocking him to canvas. Ripley climbs the turnbuckle and drops a knee on Max Power. The Judge grabs Max Power by the leb and begins to lock in a submission. Max Power gets to the ropes for a break. The Best Dressed Man drop kicks Max Power as he gets to his feet.:::
The Mullet - It lookes like everyone is going after the Ironman. They must not want him to be the champ anymore. It lookes like his reign of terror is over!
:::The Best Dressed Man sets up Max Power for the Cummerbund. He hits it and sends him to the mat. Ripley lefts him to his feet.:::
P.J. - Believe it or not! Believe it or not!
:::Ripley delivers Believe it or not. The Judge then picks up Max Power and delivers the Gavel. The Best Dressed Man locks in the Crab Minister. Max Power taps out.:::
The Mullet - He tapped out! Now it is a three way match!
:::Ripley dropkicks The Best Dressed Man. The Judge gets behind Ripley and hits him with a big German Suplex. The Judge locks in a sleeper hold on Ripley. The Best Dressed Man gets to his feet and kicks The Judge off of Ripley. Ripley and The Best Dressed Man proceed to double team The Judge.:::
The Mullet - That's not fair!
:::Ripley and The Best Dressed Man double powerbomb The Judge. Ripley locks in a sleeper hold while The Best Dressed Man locks up the Crab Minister. The Judge taps out.:::
P.J. - My God! That's rediculous! It was a free-for-all on The Judge! It's now down to two. This is the only place for entertainment like this!
:::Ripley and The Best Dressed Man are staring each other down. The Best ressed Man runs at Ripley as if to spear him, but Ripley hip tosses him out of the ring. Hanson B. Wonderful emerges from under the ring.:::
The Mullet - What in the hell is going on?! It's Hanson B. Wonderful...and he's got that damn breifcase!!
:::Hanson B. Wonderful attempts to hit Ripley with his breifcase. He misses and hits his tag team partner The Best Dressed Man. Now The Best Dressed Man is out cold. Ripley goes to work on Hanson. Hanson is being beaten mercilessly, until The Best Dressed Man comes to. The Best Dressed Man rescues Hanson and rolls up Ripley for the pin. 1...2...KICK OUT! Ripley picks up Hanson's breifcase and hits The Best Dressed Man with it. Ripley gets the Believe it or not set up.:::
P.J. - Belive it or not!
:::Ripley goes in for the pin. 1...2...3...PIN!
The Mullet - We've got a new champion!
Ring Announcer - The winner, and new North American Champion...Ripley!
Three Way T.V. Title Match
Thick Bread vs. The Dud vs. Eulas
Ring Announcer - Introducing first, weighing in at 250 pounds...Thick Bread!
Ring Announcer - Introducing now, weighing in at 193, The Dud!
Ring Announcer - And now, your T.V. Title champion...Eulas!
:::Eulas runs to the ring with his title belt in his hand. He slams it in the face of The Dud. Thick Bread drop kicks Eulas from behind. Eulas gets up and is immediatley suplex to the canvas by The Dud. The Dud elbows Eulas in face. The Dud turns around and slaps the crap out of Thick Bread. Thick Bread attempts to hit The Dud with a running elbow drop, but misses and lands on Eulas. The Dud goes to the top rope and leaps into the air. He belly flops right on to both Thick Bread and Eulas.:::
The Mullet - What the hell??? The Dud is winning?!
P.J. - I think The Dud is calculating how to pin Eulas or Thick Bread!
:::The Dud Throws his calculator at Thick Bread. The Dud picks up Eulas and sambo suplexes him into Thick Bread. Eulas gets up and runs toward The Dud. The Dud hip tosses Eulas. The Dud walks over to Thick Bread and picks him up to his feet.:::
The Mullet - I think he is going for it. Yes...he is! Calculus Press!!!
The Dud hits the Calculus Press on Thick Bread. He then goes for 1+2+3+=PIN! 1...2...3...PIN!
The Mullet - we've got a new champ...and it's The Dud?! He didn't even get any help from anyone. What the hell is going on?!
Ring Announcer - Your winner...and new T.V. Title Champion...The Dud!
Tag Team Match
Canadian Bacon vs. The Commies
Ring Announcer - Making their way to the ring...Canadian Bacon!
Ring Announcer - And now...The Commies!
The Mullet - Looke at those martial arts kicks to the chest!
:::The Hoser trades punches with The Czar. The Czar tags in The Commandant. The Commandant goes right away for the neck of The Hoser. The Commandant punches away at the neck of The Hoser. The Hoser reaches for the tag of The Canuck, but The Commandant pulls him away. The Commandant gets The Hoser with a drop toe hold. The Hoser now tags in The Canuck. The Canuck begins to do battle with The Commandant. The Canuck starts delivering chops to the chest of The Commandant. The Canuck grabs The Commandant and begins to club his neck. The Czar comes in to the ring and throws The Canuck out of the ring.:::
P.J. - Remeber, there are no count outs in this match.
:::Two men are standing at the top of the ramp. They are dressed up in old fashioned clothes, like that of The Patriot. The two men make their way to the ring. None of the match participants notice them. One of the men grabs The Cazr, and the other grabs The Commandant. The two men begin to wallop The Commies. Now Canadian Bacon gets up it it is now four on two. The ref signals for the bell to be sounded. The bell sounds and the ref rules this a DQ on Canadian Bacon.
The Mullet - My God! Who are these guys? They just got Canadian Bacon DQ'ed.
Ring Announcer - Your winners...by disqualification...The Commies!
:::***Crowd Boos***:::
NJWF Title Match
Santa Claws vs. Willie B. "The Gorilla"
The Mullet - And now, the main event!
Ring Announcer - Introducing first, the challenger. From the North Pole...Santa Claws!
:::Santa Claws makes his way to the ring as the crowd boos.:::
Ring Announcer - Making his way to the ring, The NJWF champion...Willie B. "The Gorillia."
:::The Gorilla makes his way to the ring. You can barely hear his music over the cheers from the crowd.:::
The Mullet - Way too early for the cover. Wouldn't you agree?
P.J. - Definitley. Santa Claws needs to wear him down before he can even think about the pin. His best bet would be to try and tap him out.
:::Santa Claws is thrown into the air by the powerful kick out by The Gorilla. The Gorilla grabs Santa Claws and throws him into the turnbuckle. The Gorilla begins the ten punch. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10.:::
The Mullet - My God! It's the CEO and The Heckler. What are they doing here?!
:::The CEO and The Heckler stay at the top of the ramp. Santa Claws, looking very groggy, is slammed to the ground by The Gorilla. The Gorilla goes for the cover. 1...2...Kick out! Both grapplers looking very tired, tie up with each other. Santa Claws wins the tie up and hits him with a triple DDT. Willie B. is out cold.:::
P.J. - What the hell?! Santa Claws is coming back! And what are The CEO and The Heckler planning?
:::Santa Claws brings The Gorilla to his feet, he gets behind him and sets up to hit his trademark move.
The Mullet - Oh no...He's makin a list! NO! He's checkin it twice!? The Gorilla must be naughty...not nice! A double full nelson slam.
:::Santa Claws pulls a stocking out of his bag. He puts it on his hand.:::
P.J. - Dammit! He's gonna do it! STOCKING STUFFER!!! STOCKING STUFFER!!!
:::Willie B. taps out!:::
The Mullet - It's over! We've got a new champ!
Ring Announcer - Your winner...and new NJWF Champion...Santa Claws!
P.J. - This was one hell of a Pay-Per-Veiw! We had the appearence of two new wrestlers who we are not sure who they are yet, a new Intercontinental Champion, a new T.V. Title Champion, and now Santa Claws, the new NJWF Champion! And we still don't know why The CEO and The Heckler were watching that last match. I guess we will have to wait until Thursday to find out. Until next time, this is P.J. for The Mullet saying, Good Fight, Good Night.
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