What's crackin', fellow TWFers? It's time, once again, for everyones favorite column......My 10 cents. My 2 cents is free!! ( Just kidding, you my homie Joey D, but I had to get a dig in!) I'll be covering Rampages' Anarchy Rulz PPV and other stuff in this edition of the LowDown, so let's not keep the populace waiting.
>The six man Hell in a Cell match for the World Title left me feeling like I felt after the end of the series finale of Angel: highly entertained, but slightly annoyed at the ending. Justin Sane had Bradshaw tapping like a woman getting a bikini wax, but Angle also had the ankle lock on Nemesis. With the ref only seeing Nemesis tapping, Angle walked out the Champ. Had the ref seen things differently, we either would've had a draw, in which case Angle retains the title, or a new World Champion in Justin Sane. Either way, we've got controversey in the World Title picture. Angle won the match, but Justin Sane could be called the un-crowned Champion by some. Eddie Guerrero has been given the runaround by Angle for quite some time now, without recieving a one-on-one title shot. I say just throw those three in a match and let itself work it's way out.
> My congrats to Shelton Benjamin for winning the King of Cable title. He is one of the most gifted athletes on the roster. His conditioning is unreal. It reinforces my theory that the best quality of talent resides in the amatuer ranks.
> My girl, Victoria, got screwed out of her Women's title!!! She didn't even get pinned!!! Sorry.......I needed to vent. I know my attraction makes me a little biased. That's just the nature of triple threat matches. The Champion doesn't have the advantage walking into the match. Given time, she'll get the belt back from Gail Kim.
>Carney pulled the upset of the night, as far as I'm concerned, when he got A-train by surprise. Granted, he had a little help with the beatdown Taylor Made gave the Train, but a win's a win. A-Train was starting to impress me, and he still does. I just hope he shaves his back soon, boy looks like he has a bunch of spiders gathering all over his body.
> I'm relieved that Mordecai didn't end Sam Wildes' career, like many had feared. Wilde even got the win with some impressive counter wrestling. Whatever his lifestyle choices are, I won't debate them. I don't have the right or the theological background to discuss it in my column. I'm just hoping he can live his life in peace, without the oppression of guys like Mordecai, who might have a problem with it.
> Goldust is as goofy as a pet coon, as JR would say. To challenge the Undertaker to a match that he is undefeated in and introduced to the wrestling world, is insane. He got what was coming to him, in my opinion, when UT chokeslammed him into the casket. Yeah, Goldust is normal, not a thing wrong with him.
> I love the team of John Cena and Austin Pyromania. They are a quality tag team, and deserve to be Champions. Even though I'm disappointed La Resistance lost (they are a great team, in my opinion) I think they lost to a worthy team, and there is no shame in losing to them. Although, I can't stand that little runt (thanks Gorilla) Jimmy Hart. I can't wait for the rematch.
> The Network Police should know better than to keep messing with Scott Steiner. While true, they have the advantage in numbers, but Steiner is a complete psycho when he gets mad. Like a bleached-blond Incredible Hulk, only Steiner is big all the time. He gets a hold of Steven Richards, he might break that goofs' skinny little neck in two.
> It has come to my attention that my last column has caused a lot of animosity towards me. My informants tell me that some certain people, "competetion", is going to devote an entire segmant on their show to talking trash about me. How sad. First of all: nobody reads your shows, so no one is going to see it anyway. Second of all: any childish, incorrectly spelled insults hurled in my direction fall on deaf ears. I don't take anything seriously from a guy who can't even spell "debut". Thirdly: Anyone working for the White R. Kelly over there doesn't deserve a response. I only said what I said in the last column because I couldn't resist getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed man. Lastly: I refuse to speak about them any more. It's not worth the time and effort. Their low brow, amateurish excuse for a response is too beneath me to even bother reading. They only make themselves look like the Nancy Boys that they are, by repeatedly harping on the fact that I walked out on their sorry excuse for a fed.
That's all from me this time around. I got some things off my chest, and reviewed the PPV, which was awesome as usual. Slaughterhouse is up next with their PPV, Jammed, then we'll see Primetime and Rampage together in the huge joint PPV, Meltdown. They'll have a hard time topping Anarchy Rulz, but I look forward to seeing what they bring.
I'm Gabe Morales, and this has been the LowDown.
