From: St. Mirren Park, Paisley

Crowd: 12,008

1. Katherine Vick vs. Flying Fiona

2. An interview with Arual

3. The Lightnin Squad vs. Trevor and Matt

4. An interview with Trevor

5. Myss White vs. Zofia vs. Tabatha

6. A match for the White Lightning Wrestling Internet Championship

Wildthing ( C ) vs. Mort

7. Arual vs. The Mike

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Rinoa: Now in the ring, weighing 120 lbs., coming down the aisle to the sounds of Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears, and coming from New Haven, Katherine Vick! ....

And her opponent, weighing 123 lbs., coming down the aisle to the sounds of Ace of Spades by Motorhead, representing the Anti Gravity in this contest, and hailing from Marietta, Flying Fiona! ....

Aeris: Cheiko, our referee, has his work in front of her tonight in this opening ladies' match!

Aeris: Flying Fiona gets the first hold in.

Aeris: Fiona kicks Katherine Vick soundly in the stomach!

Aeris: Katherine 's head is smacked against the ringpost… Ew, I think I see blood. Or at least a bruise.

Sabrina: Ha! That's what she gets for wearing smudgeable make-up.

Aeris: Katherine Vick sticks a desperate thumb into the eye of Flying Fiona. That'll slow down anyone! Katherine doing anything to get some breath back. She's been taking a pretty bad beating in this match.

Sabrina: Who is that coming down the aisle?

Aeris: Zofia!!

Sabrina: Well, this match is so exciting, even the other wrestlers want to get a closer look!

Aeris: Katherine Vick turns... too late! Zofia snuck in a cheap shot with the Leather whip!

Aeris: Zofia punishes Katherine with a Flying Heel Kick. The referee

Aeris: Katherine Vick is caught in a Abdominal Stretch! She's screaming in agony, and Zofia seems to be enjoying it!

Aeris: Zofia holds Katherine by her hair… oh, and drops her with a SuperKick. For cryin out loud…

Aeris: Zofia performs a Leg Scissor Hold. This is a ridiculous beating, and the referee is no-where in sight.

Sabrina: Well, he's in Fiona's sight. He's checking on her "eyes" right now…

Aeris: Meanwhile, Zofia is going to town on the defenseless Katherine!

Aeris: Now what is she doing...

Aeris: Russian DDT

Sabrina: Ouch, right on her head. Katherine flopped over like an inflatable dummy I saw in The Mike's locker-room!

Aeris: Finally, the referee spots Zofia, he's called for the bell. This was devastating!

Sabrina: Katherine Vick gets another win! Technically. Ha!

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[Arual makes his way down to the ring after the commercial break, climbs in quite cockily and takes the golden microphone from Rinoa, giving her a good look up and down before he speaks.]

Arual: Phew, what is the smell in here? Oh, look, it’s the unwashed masses out there! Thank goodness the house lights are low tonight, I don't want to have to look at any of you pe.. wait, what am I saying? You're not people! You useless proletarians may boo me and curse at me all you want, but you know what? I don't care! And do you know why? Because I know that each and every single negative little thing you things do to me proves exactly how jealous you are, and how damn good I am!!

You can't handle the truth, and you can't see true talent! Just like the suits that run this damn federation! They're dragging their heels with handing out the titles, trying to think of someone to fit into their "demographics" to compete for the belts so the fans can "identify" with their champion? Pah! All I ask is for a title shot to prove what I can do. I am the best! I should be a champion!

Tonight, The Mike will find out why they call me the best, and you will all see why I should be a champion!

 [Arual tossed away the golden microphone, taking a long look at the posterior of Rinoa as she ducks down to pick it off the floor, before exiting the ring.]

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Aeris: Welcome back to White Lightning Wrestling's Monday Mayhem. You're joining us here with another huge tag team match, The Lightnin Squad against Trevor and Matt Manic! Trevor starts things off!

Sabrina: And Lightning Luke runs outta the ring. Count him out ref!

Aeris: I knew Anthony Loane couldn't call this fair! Or you! Luke was hurled out by his head! That Trevor is huge.

Aeris: High Impact Elbow Drop from the Top Rope on Luke. Ha, he managed to get up and get Trevor from behind.

Aeris: Luke makes the desperation tag to Lightnin' Hopkins!

Aeris: Hopkins propels out of the corner and connects with a moonsault kick! The crowd loved that one.

Sabrina: Connected on the chin, going for the pin… one, two…

Aeris: Manic Matt comes to the aid of Towering Trevor just in time...

Aeris: The action now spills over outside of the ring.

Sabrina: Hopkins passes control over to Luke with a tag on the way out.

Aeris: Here comes the team up...

Sabrina: Hopkins comes up from behind and grabs Towering Trevor...What's he waiting for?...Oh my, Luke nails him with a SuperKick!

 Sabrina: Hopkins takes his time getting over to his corner.

Aeris: Lightnin' Luke with a spear to the midsection of Towering Trevor..

Aeris: Towering Trevor manages to duck a clothesline and tag in Matt!!!

Aeris: There's no one home this time for Matt's boot… and he gets caught up in the ropes!

Aeris: Hopkins is tagged in...

Aeris: And now the teamup...

Sabrina: Lightnin' Luke is holding Matt up, and Hopkins nails him with a Sledgehammer Blow!

Aeris: Luke quickly hightails it out of the ring before the five count!

Aeris: Hopkins viciously rubs Matt's face across the ropes...That could cause permanent damage!

Aeris: Anthony Loane is showing leniency to Hopkins!

[Lightnin' Hopkins rushes towards the corner]

Aeris: Hopkins just delivered his Split-Legged Moonsault! That should be it!

Aeris: Lightnin' Hopkins attempting the pinfall ...

Sabrina: That cheating Luke just ran around outside and held onto Trevor's legs!

Aeris: 1. 2. and 3 and the party is over for Manic Matt

Fan Rating: 9/10 

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[After the match, Trevor remains in the ring and takes up the golden microphone.]

Towering Trevor: Hey, y'know, I've looked the world over for a challenge, and that's why I came to WLW. To face the best! To face someone who is big enough and man enough to face me. But so far… all I've had to "challenge" me have been has-beens and pip-squeaks. Like that useless old lump, now thankfully out of action for the foreseeable future, Isaac Applegood. I didn't even mean to hurt the guy, he just couldn't hack it anymore in the ring. And then there's those little runts… The Lightning Squad.

Sabrina: Who is that coming down the aisle?

Aeris: Lightnin' Hopkins! This doesn't look good... What does he want here? A fight?

Sabrina: Lightnin' Hopkins has got someone with him! Two on one, this is horrible. Poor Trevor! Kick their backsides, Trev!

Aeris: Lightnin' Luke is here too!

Aeris: Lightnin' Luke sneaking in from behind... Trevor doesn't see it coming... Oh my!!! Nailed from behind with the 2 by 4!

Sabrina: A big Flying Heel Kick by Luke to Towering Trevor!

Aeris: Luke with an explosive Thrust Kick to Towering Trevor!

Aeris: A big Slingshot Moonsault by Luke!

Aeris: What a Forearm by Hopkins to Trevor!

Aeris: Hopkins and Luke showing absolutely no mercy to Trevor!

Sabrina: This is bad fans.. This is just bad.

Aeris: Someone's running to ringside..Manic Matt!!

Aeris: What a Low Blow by Matt to Hopkins!

Aeris: Manic Matt with a left hand to Luke! Right, left, right, left, and Luke flies over the top rope! Vicious shots there!

Sabrina: And Hopkins rolls outta the ring too, the Lightnin Squad are fleeing. And thank goodness, they were preying on poor, defenceless Trevor!

Aeris: Oh come on, he put their mentor out of action! He went totally over the top in their match last week!

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[We return to see the three women in the ring, about to start up their triple-threat match, when suddenly the lights dim and become purple. Symbol's music, Purple Pills by D12 blasts through the speaker system, and the black man bursts through the curtains, decked out in his trademark purple dress, and carrying a glittering silver belt over his shoulder. He steps up onto the apron as the lights flash back on, and grins at the confused looking females, before bringing out his own golden microphone with his free hand.]

Symbol: Now, we are supposed to have a little woman's match here. But, you see, that's discrimination in my view. I've been left off of this televised show to make room for these women rolling around on the canvas so a couple of thirteen year olds at home can giggle and pretend they're enjoying it? No. No, no, no. That's not going to happen. You see, Symbol has always hated stereotyping and following convention, which is why he's decided that now you ladies will have the chance to compete with The Freak in a very original match up for an original championship belt. This is the Lightning Championship, for the hardiest and smartest wrestlers in the game. There are no weight classifications. There are no gender restrictions. Hell, a dead homosexual chicken could win this thing! And it is on the line… all the time! THAT'S COMPETITION!

[Suddenly, Symbol rushes at the nearest woman, Zofia, and drops her to the mat by slamming the hefty silver belt into her head! The referee throws her arms up in confusion, and the bell rings, beginning the match-up.]

Aeris: Myss White has some leverage here, taking Symbol from behind.

Sabrina: Hey, this isn't on the card. It's not an official match, and I'm sure that championship belt isn't sanctioned…

Aeris: As we can see, Myss is really taking it to Symbol

Sabrina: An Arm Drag by Myss White, and meanwhile, Zofia is up and manhandling Tabatha

Aeris: Zofia has spotted the fallen belt.

Sabrina: Zofia slams Tabatha onto the belt! Ha, that's gotta hurt. Stupid little actress.

Aeris: You're just jealous of her career, aren't you?

Sabrina: Myss White in with a flying body attack! Now she's trying to get the leg of Symbol... no, can't, and rolls away.

Aeris: And now, ss we can see, Myss is really taking it to Tabatha on the canvas.

Aeris: Myss White has found the belt nearby...What's she going to do...

Sabrina: Myss hits Tabatha with the belt.

Sabrina: The action now spills over in the backroom! Symbol and Zofia brawled all the way through the curtain.

Aeris: Symbol going at it with Zofia

Aeris: Symbol delivers a roundhouse kick to Zofia. Great usage of the martial arts!

Aeris: Tabatha staggers backstage and starts to open up on Symbol.

Aeris: Myss White appears and drags Tabatha back to the ringside area by the hair, no less! Come on, that's just… rude!

Sabrina: Hahaha! That was brilliant! Tear the hair!

Aeris: Symbol has Zofia in position…

Sabrina: He wishes.

Aeris: Symbol has spotted a tennis racket...

Sabrina: Symbol hits Zofia with the tennis racket

Aeris: Action now in the street!! They headed out the door, this match is… is this even a match?

Sabrina: Myss is punishing Tabatha out here in the ring.

Aeris: Ooh, Symbol just slammed Zofia's head on a windshield of one of the cars out front!

Sabrina: Myss smashes a glass pitcher over Tabatha's head. It's ok, that was your one.

Aeris: Hey, no it wasn't. And put mine back down, please.

Sabrina: And there's blood everywhere, at ringside and outside! Myss White looks up on the tron, she sees Symbol… hey what the?

Aeris: He's got some sorta submission on Zofia out there. Ugh! A… nipple twister?! Myss is running out, she wants to break up that submission.

Sabrina: Oh! Good Night!!! Myss falls victim to the.. er… nipple twister of Symbol!! Devestating!

Aeris: That perv… Myss can't take it, she throws the towel!

In an unsanctioned match, Symbol prevailed by Pin at 4 minutes and 9 seconds to claim the Lightning Championship.

Aeris: Symbol wasn't even scheduled to appear tonight, and he's, and I use the term he loosely, has just awarded himself a championship belt!

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Rinoa: Now in the ring, weighing 250 lbs., standing at 6' 6", to his theme The Game by Motorhead, and hailing from Los Angeles, and current WLW InterNet Championship champion, Wildthing! ....

And his opponent, weighing 256 lbs, with One Winged Angel by Nobuo Uematsu playing behind him… From Athens, Georgia… Mort! 

Aeris: Stringent Stipe at the wheel, calling the shots in this match..

Aeris: Mort starts things off!

Aeris: Michael Mort delivers a devastating Thrust Kick

Sabrina: Wildthing is a little slow, and Michael Mort finds some room to fire back!

Aeris: Michael Mort pulls Wildthing up...

Aeris: Michael Mort comes running in, and dropping the big elbow on the exposed ribs of Wildthing.

Aeris: Mort always puts a shiver down my spine every time he's here!

Aeris: OH No! The referee just took a shot! He's out cold!

Sabrina: Who is that coming down the aisle?

Aeris: The Mike! This doesn't look good... There's no reason to be here!

Sabrina: This is bad folks...The Mike is not alone.

Aeris: Tabatha!!! Bloodied and plastered up, she's making her way down behind her client!

Aeris: Tabatha is distracting Wildthing. Oh, My, from behind! The Mike snuck in a cheap shot with the chair!

Aeris: Mike punishes Wildthing with a Football Tackle.

Sabrina: Where is security when you need them?

Aeris: A Tiger Bomb by Mike! What a move that was!

Aeris: Tabatha chops Wildthing in the throat. That could seriously damage the larnyx!

Aeris: Mike holds up the chair… Now the finishing touches by Tabatha... Tabathinator!

Sabrina: The cavalry! Myss White is racing down the ring!!

Sabrina: A big Back Bodydrop by Myss to Mike! She launched that guy high in the air!

Aeris: Myss White with a clothesline to Tabatha, while Wildthing is being choked on the outside ropes by Mike.

Sabrina: This is not fair!! Cheaters! The referee is getting up, Stipe better disqualify Mort right now!

Aeris: The ref's up, but Tabatha and Myss White are brawling outside and The Mike is out of the ring too, trying to pry them apart.

Aeris: Whoa! Michael Mort takes to the air with a flying body attack, rocking the canvas!

[Mort draws his thumb across his throat]

Aeris: Michael Mort just delivered the The Grave!

Aeris: Mort attempting the pinfall ... It's over! The ref raises Mort's hand

Aeris: Mort was very focussed tonight, though he had a little help from some people with issues with Wildthing and his "buddy" Arual. Who, by the way, I notice didn't bother to come out here to defend his friend or his manager, Myss White!

Sabrina: Oh, come on, you don't know what may have happened? Maybe he slipped backstage… or, um… wait, he's perfect… he doesn't make mistakes, ok? He knows what he's doing!

Aeris: Hey, what is WILDTHING doing? Chair shot to the back of Mort's head!

Sabrina: Ah, see, here comes Arual now! Armed, too!

Aeris: Arual runs down, it's a double team on The Mike! Myss White's holding back Tabatha, The Mike is getting pummelled here by Wildthing and Arual on the outside! This is cruel!

Sabrina: And Mort is out cold. No-one to save that dang little meddler Mike from getting what he deserves!

Aeris: Oh come on, he is trying to defend his girl. Arual and Myss attacked Tabatha last week, and Wildthing went on to align himself with them!

Sabrina: Ooh, here we go, Wildthing takes the sledgehammer that Arual brought for him!

Aeris: Oh come on, don't do this! The Mike's about to wrestle!

Sabrina: WHAM! HAHA! That was cool, right on the ribs!! BANG! And the spine!

Aeris: For f… for cryin' out loud, The Mike is bleeding all over the place, he's been pummelled, Tabatha's injured from that… that unsanctioned match earlier, she's too weak to break free from Myss White. She's being forced to watch her client, her rumoured boyfriend, decimated! And folks, I don't think we'll be having a match between Arual and The Mike tonight, The Mike is out cold, he's bleeding, he's seriously injured…. And we really should be going off the air around now. OH COME ON! Wildthing's holding The Mike upside down, and Arual is kicking him right in the face!

Sabrina: Tune in next week, see how disfigured The Mike is after getting booted in the mush by Arual!

Aeris: You're sick!

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