you actually believed Hulk Hogan would run for president
you think whacking your little sister with a steel chair won't hurt
you try to use wrestling moves in a gang fight
when the principal walks by, you try to start an "asshole" chant
you think Pallbearer is someone's name
you believe Hulkamania will live forever
you've tried to do the "Worm" and landed flat on your face
you know the name of every sports arena in the country by heart
you eat Slim Jims just because the Macho Man says so.
you name your first born after your favorite wrestler.
you walk into a restaurant an yell out "Do you know What the Rock is Cooking??"
you try the figure 4 on your mother..
you dedicate a WEBSITE to wrestling... (hey, wait a minute...)
you still wear your HULKAMANIA shirt from the 80's...
you call your boss a Jabroni or a Roody-Poo...
you think foreplay is when you put your girlfriend in a side head-lock...
you walk in a pet store and chant " WE WANT PUPPIES "..
you actually think Hulk Hogans movie MR. Nanny deserves an Oscar.
you start your own AOL Wrestling Chat Room...
you are a subcriber to WWF Magazine...
You high five the people in the aisle seats on airplanes
Before you shake someones hand, you check for the crowds response
You have a framed picture of Vince McMahon
You walk into a Bakery asking for PoonTang Pie....
You try to buy a ticket on the Ho-Train...
You actually think Goldberg went to your Bar Mitsvah...
You own stock in WWF..."WWFE"
You start preaching to your friends about the three I's, Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence.....
every time the phone rings you answer by saying " Smackdown Hotel "
You actually own more wresting videos than normal movies.
Your homepage is a wrestling page. (no offense)
You collect wwf/wcw/ecw action figures.........and are older than 20 with no kids.
You sell your food stamps to buy tickets to Raw is War.
You changed the date of you wedding because you found out it was on the same day as a WWF PPV Credit: Chewy
You see Karaoke night as a chance to improve your mic skills
You play sing alond with the rock.......sitting on your couch at home
You've ever commented on the size of Flair's breasts
You always refer to yourself in the third person
You walk into strip clubs chanting "slut,slut"
You cried when you found out it was fake
Ivory turns you on
You have ever told some you are going to lay the Smackdown...
You think Chyna's breasts are still real
You expect a large pop when you walk into a room
People refer to you as the greatest wrestling spectator in the history of Sports entertainment
You refer to football as Sports entertainment
You chant "boring" during a lecture at school
You mute the TV so you can do your own color commentating
YOU ACTUALLY PAY $350 FOR FRONT ROW AT WRESTLMANIA
You have ever "taken a bump" to get a reaction from the other kids in the caffeteria
you carry a stereo with you to play an entrance theme when you walk into a room
you always garuanDAMNtee things to people
whenever somebody falls down you point and chant "you f***ed up!"
whenever somebody asks you if wrestling is fake, you give them the stone cold stunner
you own "have a nice day" "the Rock says" "positively page" and "i'm next"
you go to an amateur wrestling match and yell at them to use the chair
you've tried to do a swanton into a pool because "it's only water, it shouldn't hurt..."
you try to announce for random streetfights that you see
you wrote this list down to show your friends how many of them apply to you
you spend all night coming up with ur own finisher, try it on your friends, and call it something like 'the doomsday device'!
you create yourself on a wrestling game, always fight as yourself and fill with pride when you see yourself enter for a fight!
You spend $30 in five minutes trying to drink beers like steve austin.
you break your bed four times (replacements too!) trying to do an effective powerbomb on your mate!
at a party, you get the most drunk person you can see, and with the help of your tag team partner! perform a camel clutch and boston crab at the same time! while thinking your cool!
you try and get your friends girlfriends to have a bra and panty match!
You invite your girlfriend over and when she comes in get your mates to chant T&A thinking she'll be impressed
After tackling someone in football you feel a compelling urge to follow with a jackhammer and expect the crowd to go nuts
you spend the first half of the year as a heel, and the second half as a face!
You create your own title and hold tournaments in the back garden
You poke the glass out of your glasses and when people ask why scream "TESTIFY" in their face!
After someone high fives you, your disappointed when you don't follow it up with a doubleteam
You want to impress a girl, so you get someone to give you the last ride and kick out after the count of 1!
When seeing someone lying on the floor you see this as the perfect opportunity for a sneak submission move
The greatest moment in your life was hulk vs warrior at wrestlmania 6, and you cried at the end of that match!
you give yourself a name like ' the big wilbowski'!
Your 3 year old daughter asks for a bedtime story and you read her "Have a Nice Day".
You buy water bottles just so you can spit the water back out.
You own a pair of wrestling tights with your nick name printed across the seat.
Your 3 year old daughter cheers after The Rock drops the 'Peoples Elbow'.
You have your wife write a wrestling column.
You've got a mint condition Series 1, WCW Ric Flair action figure tucked away in the basement because you know one day it will be worth thousands of dollars.
You run into a friend you haven't seen in ten years and the first thing you ask him is, "So who's your favorite wrestler?"
You call your 3 year old daughter, 'Your little jabroni.'
You Smackdowned your vote.
You slap your elbow two times before mimicking an elbow drop.
You see paramedics strapping someone onto a a stretcher and you tip it over and flip them the bird.
You threaten to spank your 3 year old daughters 'Roody Poo' 'Candy Ass' (and she knows what your talking about).
You see someone who looks a little like Shawn Michaels and you ask them if they are related.
You go to indy shows and make sure you stick around for autographs.
You let your 3 year old daughter stay up till 11pm on Monday nights.
You get in a bar fight and start posing down and cupping your ear after you win.
You are making love to your wife and you count her down for the 3 count (you sneak off with the easy victory as she wasn't expecting you to go for the pin).
You walk into church and high five people in the pews as you walk down the aisle.
You purposly blade yourself while shaving.
Everytime you see an Elvis impersonator, you ask for his autograph and get upset when it's not signed "Honkey Tonk Man"
You attack your friends from behind with a chair, and look around the room, waiting for crowd reaction.
You shake someone's hand, you pause and hesitate, while looking around nervously.
You walk up to get your diploma, and the graduation song is playing, you turn to the audience and shout "OOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHH!" and bite a Slim Jim.
Everytime you leave a room, you shout "AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, SON!"
During an argument, you consistanly do groin chops.
You want people to leave you alone, you feel up your chest and deeply inhale.
You wear white and black make up when you go to Canada's Wonderland, and insist they hook the bungee cord to the back of your coat at the Bungee Jump.
Everytime a teacher's pet passes by your desk, you mumble "Lousy Babyface", and stick your foot out to trip him.
Everytime you walk pass someone lying down, you feel the sudden urge to strap them in a Sharpshooter.
Everytime you come in contact with a roll of duct tape, you wrap it tightly around your wrist.
Your teacher gives you detention, you give them a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers.
When you lose a fight you lightly grab your head claiming the other guy pulled your hair.
If you say, "TOO SWEEEEEEEEEEET!!!" more than 5 times a day.
If you take your girlfriend out to a chinese restaurant you chant your country's name over and over again in the middle of dinner.
If you know what "slobber-knocker" means.
When you see a fight is about to happen you yell out, "Let's get ready to rumble!!!"
If you grab you boss by the hair and ask your co-workers, "If you think I should finish this can of whoop-ass gimme a hell yeah."
If you squirt you boss' wife with a water gun and tell her not to worry because you can keep it up "all night long."
If you have ever looked in the bible for "Austin 3:16."
When someone asks where you are from, you tell them you are from "parts unknown."
If you ever tried to get the crowd chanting "Asshole" during a baseball game.
If you turn the light out and then tell your girlfriend to "rest in peace".
If you've ever got kicked off the high school wrestling team for giving someone the Stone cold Stunner.
When someone tries to introduce themselves you yell out, "It doesn't matter what your name is!!!"
If you hear someone say, "what does everybody want" You yell out "HEAD" without giving it a second thought.
If you ever grabbed your neighbors dog and givin it the airplane spin.
When you walk into a bar, you run up to the band, grab the microphone and yell out, "Cut the music".
When you start to shake someone's hand at a party, then hesitate to see if the crowd agrees you should.
When you start spray-painting nWo all around your house and school.
When your christmas tree has a Mr. Socko hand puppet at the top instead of an angel or star.
When you walk into a bar and yell out, "HELLO LADIES".
If you keep a foreign object in your boxers.
If you've ever painted your face white and stopped talking to your friends and co-workers.
If you refer to every woman at your work as a ho.
When at you go to a strip bar and tell everyone, "pimpin' ain't easy" while holding a handfull of ten dollar bills.
If on halloween you go around as Chris Jericho stealing little kids masks and putting them around your neck as prizes.
If your best friend has ever offered you a title shot at his tin foil championship belt.
If you've ever tried to play "air guitar" on the tin foil belt you used a chair shot to win.
If someone has ever picked a fight with you, you put your index finger up and wave it back and forth in front of them, while mouthing the words, "no way".
If you've ever started a rumor between two girls just to see an imprompu live evening gown match.
If you've ever finished a speech to your co-workers with the statement, "...and if yer not down with that I got 2 words for ya: SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!"
If you've ever been asked to leave the bus early for giving the cars behind you crotch chops.
If you've ever had the urge to shove your sock-covered-hand down your best friends mouth simply because he yawned.
When you buy the last Sable issue of Playboy just to say, "you have the set."
Everytime Something Doesn't Go Your Way, You Say, "What About Me"
The Only Words You Got Right On You Spanish Test Were "Viva La Raza"
Every Time You Use A Tooth Pick You Throw It In Someone's Face
Whenever You Beat Someone At A Sporting Event, You Call Them A Jobber
When Your Dog Is Barking, You Run Outside And Put It In The Torture Rack
Every Year For Halloween You Dress Up Like Ric Flair, Do his Walk and Shout WHOOOOOO
Anytime You Wrestle With Your Friends You Try To Put Them In The Figure 4
When Anyone Asks For Directions And You Point "Down There"
Your greatest moment in life was when the nWo was created and you have it documented in a college paper with legitimate sources.
You call all hispanic people luchadors
You insist on spelling nWo with the W capitalized
When some one asks you why you wont do something you say "Cause Stone Cold said so"
In history class, when asked for important dates..you give the date of all wwf title history
When In a fight you get down on two knees and beg the other guy not to hit you and then you nail him with a low blow
You brag about all the wrestling terminology you know whenever you can
You have contests with your friends while watching wrestling who can name all the Wrestlers' moves
You never knew public enemy was named after a rap group
When watching a fight you try to make every punch into a wrestling move..."oh...he coulda done a neck breaker there" "why the hell didn't you give him a pile driver?"
When ever your favorite guy wrestles...you start yelling to the tv...mcmahon why the hell did you make him job
You give your teacher the middle finger
You kick your teacher in the stomach and give her the stunner
You shave your head to get a bigger "push"
When anyone says the name of any wrestler you immediatly give height, weight, and finisher
You walk into church and high five people in the pews as you walk down the aisle.
You purposly blade yourself while shaving.
Everytime you see an Elvis impersonator, you ask for his autograph and get upset when it's not signed "Honkey Tonk Man"
You attack your friends from behind with a chair, and look around the room, waiting for crowd reaction.
You shake someone's hand, you pause and hesitate, while looking around nervously.
You walk up to get your diploma, and the graduation song is playing, you turn to the audience and shout "OOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHH!" and bite a Slim Jim.
You won't come out of your room until your parent's play your theme on the stereo.
If your excuse for not finishing homework is you were looking for your smile.
You Leapfrog over people while playing football, then turn around and clothesline them.
Everytime you go to church, you wait for the minister to quote something from the Book Of Austin.
You have wrestling tournaments with your stuffed animals.
You JOB to your stuffed animal.
Every time you write an exam, you tell the professor that you're the highest ranking official, and if you don't get an A, he's suspended
Whenever you pass through customs you tell the Controller you are from parts unknown.
When you go through an airport security line you let them check everything except your boots.
You begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response.
Whenever you beat someone in an arcade fighting game you feel the need to do the Jarrett Strut
In Chemistry, your friend drops a chemical on himself and you start yelling you fucked up! you fucked up!
You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask and when your boss finds out you go over to the competition, walking in the front and saying you know who i am but you dont know why im here
You see a mirror and start giving an interview
When you see a road accident you rush into the wreckage, stand over the victim and start chanting ecw !ecw!
You're girlfriend says your relationship is over and you respond by giving her a piledriver.
You see a window cleaner on a ladder and think of how many different ways you could throw him off
You have a friend in a bad mood with you and wonder if he's turning heel
You're at a bonfire night and start posing and dancing when the fireworks go off
You tell a child to do something and finish by saying and thats the bottom line
You clean your teeth after a meal with a toothpick and then throw it at the person opposite you
You're at a party and start a competition to see who can down a whole can of Bud Light
When you say 5 times, you have to say it 5 times