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[---> TAZ <---]
Welcome, audience of New Blood Wrestling. To the one place... You'll never see your I.C.O.N of Wrestling, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan.
[[ The nBw cameras move about, and get a full scope of the surrounding arena. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
Now, for the dumb shits saying to themselves, "what is TAZ, stupid?"... "This is a wrestling arena!" "Where we're sure to see Hogan!" I've got news, for you! As contrary, to popular belief that Hogan, thinks the world of this sport.. and would give anything for it,..... That's a flat out lie! 'Cuz you'll never see Hogan's broken down ass, in an arena... That wasn't full of people. Most noteably, the money.. In people's pockets!
[[ Taz walks the corner of the wrestling ring in the center, stops.. Then proceeds to scale the ring steps. Before stepping through the middle of the ring ropes, into the ring. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
Right here, is where Hogan.. Does his best work. Because you see, out of all of Hogan's thought of skills... Noone would think, that Hogan's ONE PERFECT TRAIT... was his hearing.
[[ Taz positions himself into the middle spot of the ring. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
Just like this... [ TAZ mimics Hogan's "Listening Taunt" ] Hogan gets the best indicator for performance, than any of the crowd pops.... you fool people, could throw at him. Because, you see.... While you happy-go-lucky suckers.. Are up on your feet, cheering away for your false wrestling god, and profit.... The Crafty Hulkster, is putting his Super-Sonic Bat-Hearing to use..... Trying to guesstimate, from the loose change a' knocking in your pants and shirt pockets,.. how much money, his dear.. dear HULKAMANICS are packing, to go purchase.. Some of that, great Hulk merchandise.
[[ Taz proceeds to 'Hogan' taunt one side of the arena, before moving to the next. And the next. And the next. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
On and on.. Hogan goes! Like the dedicated professional, he is. Truly, the thing.. You can respect him for. His workrate! As Hogan would stand up in this ring... ALL DAY, with the people on their feet... cheering, just so he could pin-point, the sounds of the most spare change, and the most crisp rustling of dollar bills, to be heard in one's wallet.... And most of all, when you thought Hogan's hearing was the only sneaky con.. In his arsenal, next to Hulk 'Hulking-Up.' You'd forget, his eye sight.
[[ The cameras pan out to the fan seats, all across and around the ring, then back over to TAZ. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
That's right. HULK HOGAN's... Marvelous Eye Sight, that allows him the vantage point, of seein' as FAR, as the eyes can see... Looking out for all the impressionable little kiddies out there in the audience. For him, to pitch his top notch merchandise to. Slowly coercing, his young audience to want. To then, take that 'want' and beggingly prod their parents and grown care-givers to buy. His Junk!
[[ Taz pauses, while summing up what he'll say next. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
So, I gather.. you must all be thinking, how.. does Hogan make his sales pitch to young kids? Well, I'll tell you, since.. you're all that dense not to have noticed, in the first place.
[[ The cameras pan forward, as Taz once again centers himself in the middle of the ring. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
Now, as the best advertisers in the world can tell you.. Nothing beats a visual presentation, of what you're trying to sell. So, when... Hogan swings to the crowd, then slowly takes hold of his Hulkamania shirt, about to rip it open... That's the moment, where the expressions on the little kiddies' faces light-up, as they know Hogan's going to rip his shirt open. And of course.... What's to seeing something, if you can't get the chance.. to try it yourself right? So the little kids go "wee-wee-wee" for a hogan shirt! To which, nBw souvenir stand cash-registers go Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! With Hogan getting a nice and tidy GROSS PROFIT, from his little and big admirers. Now ain't that sweet? Commercialism, at its best!
[[ Taz pauses, before speaking again. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
And you know, its ironic.. To how its all attributed to love. And yea, just as the fans love Hogan. He loves them, because what better.... Fools Can the Hulkster con out of their hard-earned money, than his lovin' public of Hogan worshippers? Just the thing, that proves the moral, "Fools And Their Money, Are Soon Parted!" true! But, you know... This isn't a 24-Hour Hogan Tribute. Oh no. This is to hip you all, to the realities of HOGAN, and help you see him.. For the no good pile of shit.., that.. That orange bald headed bastard is! And now, that we've established... The Greatness of Hulkamania. To be nothing more, than a money-extorting crock! We can now focus.. On the man, himself. HULK HOGAN.
[[ Taz's voice grows more colder. As he speaks on. ]]
[---> TAZ <---]
Now, Hogan. I got in your face, at the last Bloodfest because.. I wanted to test your mettel. I wanted to see what you had. I wanted to see.. How bad, were you? What made you tick? Was there any truth, to the big tall tales and legends.. That quoted how tough you were, big man. And you know what I found out..? I found out, that you're nothing but a punk! A miserable little worm, that's been soaking up wrestling's lime light, for WAY TOO LONG, with your pathetic skills... And your overgrown ego. So, "Mr. Hollywood"... You think you invented wrestling? Well now's your chance, to back up your words. Where it matters... In the ring. Because when you face me, this coming week at Bloodfest. Its not gonna be a matter of, how well you present yourself to the people, and get them to buy up your red 'n' yellow garbage... Its gonna be about SURVIVAL. Your chances of survival, against me! Because as you should have heard Hogan, I don't play... Any fucking games! In fact, I make the rule... To End the Games.. playing! And crack some skulls, onto the way of my next conquest. And Hogan, you are the next victim, to be dealt a reality check! Whether you like it or not! Because you can't fight against, what's sure to happen.. Hogan. But, you can certainly try! Try to.......
[---> TAZ <---]
and...
[[ Taz walks out of the ring, as the scene fades. ]]
