29-10-05

Hellraiser has been a UWA competitor in the past but thanks to Mark Drivlane's poor leadership, we lost this potential World Title Contender in the making.
Hellraiser is a hothead, prefers solitude, loves nothing better than to get in that ring and destroy all those in his path.
His Manager Robert G. Evans the 2nd feels that he has invested well in this potential World Title Contender.
They make an unstoppable partnership and one hopes to see him with that World Title strap around his waist one day.

Moving into a more in depth analysis of the 7ft Monster's writing ability..
His rps from the few I've read are all similar to interview segments that are held at various locations, a step above those that constantly hold their interviews at ringside, seeing as there are no House Shows apart from Overload to conduct those interviews.
I figure that one cannot have too many interview segments per week, I feel one segment for an interview is enough or your character losses interest from the E-Fed community. Hellraiser changing locations is always a good thing because it shows that he has an outdoor life. But too many Interview segments could lead to a lack of interest so be careful how many interviews he does a week, don't over do it.
But I have seen words through spell checking and close proof reading that shows that he lacks the higher skills.
Grammar needs improving, certain sentences do not make sense and he seems to wander into a Chris Van X style of rping.
Short description followed by several lines of talking which tends to get repetitive after a few paragraphs.

He has improved since the last time I saw him, but there are allot of problems he needs to address, another would be the way he describes his location, needs real improvement.
The lack of emotion after every paragraph of speech from Hellraiser is too short, allot of the description and emotion I do see doesn't tend to gel smoothly into each sentence and the Uppercase lettering needs to go.
All in all I think that the character itself is developing well, some good feuds could increase his popularity.
But most importantly he needs to concentrate on these key factors before I can at least consider him for Contender.. Spelling, Grammar, Better description of Environment, Less talking and more emotion, lose the UPPERCASE description in gray.

His character is being noticed which is always a good thing.. But it's the judging on those above that make all the difference when it comes to winning a World Title or becoming a Contender.
I wish Hell all the luck in the World in his improvement, if anyone can do it it's Hellraiser.