July 27, 2006

This is my second review of New Era Star Night. My last review of this man showed a promising young star with a talent that was certain to go far in the near to late future.
After a couple of months we ask the question..
Is their any improvement?
Hopefully today is the day I can upgrade him to Elite Standard.

I have decided to try out a new system of analyzing an Rpers Promo.
Listing out their mistakes and strengths. I feel this will greatly improve the writers ideas on how to improve himself, giving him a set target to work with.

Likes...
- Good imagination.
- Great Team Player with fellow E-Fedders.
- Excellent Feud Maker, has created several good feuds with fellow E-Fed Members, i.e."Too Tuff Feud", "Anger towards his brother Cobra".
- Moments of good scene building through ones experience "Traffic Jam Scene" & "The Final Chapter 1 & 2".
- The Build up to the Promo through narration. It reminds me of an old Stan Lee, Marvel Comics style build up, always works in my opinion.
- The Plot twist of Night playing the identity of the late Knight to fool those into believing that he is still alive. i.e."I wish I may, I Wish I Might." & "The Final Chapter 1 & 2". A Phenomenal Imagination.

Dislikes...
- Too much conversation.
- Too many spaces and too little description and actions during conversation, this improves a little in the later months promos but still needs to be worked on.
- Certain choice of Words through Description which need to be replaced with better words and sentences to help things flow more smoothly during reading; This will improve the Description a great deal.
- Too Many Short Sentences. Use a semi-colon (;) or perform a line break if you wish to end a number of sentences or still keep onto the topic in hand using the semi-colon.
I.e. Otherwise. Too many full stops slow down the reader. Disrupting the flow of the person reading. Which may put off the reader. So don't do that.
- Adding an old match up to your promo needs to be narrated as a story rather than relived through repeat along with the repeated Commentary, it's unnecessary.
Through past experience I've learn't that copy and pasting commentary to get the point across, although shows you want to reflect on your Feud to those reading can lose you points i.e "The video scene from Rip Too Tuff" & "I wish I may, I Wish I Might.". Tends to Take away the Hard Work of your promo.
Trust me, voice of experience in this side of my career; Might work on Mid-Card opponents, but against Elite, Contender style rpers? Don't be surprised if you lose the fight, I did in my early days as Big Boss.

In Conclusion..

I feel that Night's ability has somewhat dipped this month. He has still kept up the amazing ability of telling the story; The ideas that pop into this guys head are breathtaking to say the least.
But he needs to work on delivery of that story with Knight. The Dislikes I have noted out through reading each and every promo shows the problems.
If he were to keep braying out those inspirational ideas while improving on the quality of his rps.. Fear, Killer Instinct etc. Watch out because this guy has future potential.
Keep practicing bud, you will impress allot of people in the future.. I guarantee it.

Rating Level: Contender

Monday, May 29, 2006

What a fascinating read this is indeed.
Norritt, now former manager of Night is cast aside by his former associates and doesn't take too kindly to this. Revenge is on his mind as he turns to recruiting King Cobra, brother of Daye in order to get back at Night and Daye for firing him.
King Cobra's hopes of attaining Champion status like his brother and more so, I feel that Norritt has other plans in mind as revenge leaves many casualties.

Currently feuding with No More Posse, it looks to be a very personal grudge and a very exciting clash as K-Dogg and Co burn down Night's church in what they believe is ending the spread of Night and Daye's fanatical poison into the minds of weak minded people.

The Review..

As you've read so far, this writer is full of surprises and the plot is amazing to say the least.
His skills in team work with other members to bring about a good feud to all those reading is something to be respected as I was never the least bit deterred in reading through all the rp.
I wanted to know what was going to happen next?
Spelling and Grammar is excellent. Imagination is evident to see, along with plenty of build up, descriptive text and even begins with a very constructive poem about war which sum's up the feeling of the Rp which indeed plays it's part well in the rp and to showing Night's feelings at the present time over his burnt down church.

Keep improving on description and emotion, even though from what i've read is very advanced, maybe even Elite quality. It is unsure whether to have Night as an Elite so for now I think Contender is an excellent start and I think that in later months this guy may reach Elite. Night's on the fringe of an Elite but a little more hard work will pay off. Good work so far bud.