 |
|
|
LINKS |
|
|
|
|
The screen is dark. A voice says:
ALL
C.C.W. WRESTLING SUPERSTARS ARE HIGHLY TRAINED On the screen, we see the CCW Commentators table. Sat on the table is a tall raven haired beauty, long of leg and full of curves, dressed in a designer black evening gown.
The beautiful woman smiles sweetly and says: "And I'm Gwendolyn Reign. This, is CCW Slaughterhouse..."
CCW Opening Titles
We see a black screen, then static. The static fades in to the opening bars of "Here To Stay" by Korn. As the main melody begins, we see a plethora of CCW wrestlers perform various wrestling moves.
#This time
I'm taking it away, I've got a problem# #This
state is elevating, as the hurt turns into hating# #My
hurt inside is fading# #My
mind's done with this# #This
state is elevating, as the hurt turns into hating# #The
hurt inside is fading# #For
what's inside awaking# #I'm
here to stay (bring it down)# #This
state is elevating, as the hurt turns into hating# #My
hurt inside is fading# #For
what's inside awaking#
#Give anymore#
And as the song finishes up, the CCW Slaughterhouse logo shimmers on to the screen.
-Monday 2 September 2002- EF: Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to another edition of CCW Slaughterhouse. I'm your play by play commentator, Edward Faust and this is my colleague, Titus Champeaux. TC: Bonsoir. EF: A very powerful show we have tonight as we have not only a debut of a new member of the roster but a debut match: the DMZ match! TC: Bon. I have been looking forward to this match for a long time now. I wish to savour the forthcoming violence! EF: It looks like you won't need to wait long...there goes Gwendolyn... GR: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring at this time, weighting in tonight at 325lbs and hailing from Brooklyn, New York in the United States of America, "The Golden Child" CRYBABY WALKER! As Walker stands in the ring, shouting out abuse to the booing fans "Basket Case" by Green Day suddenly bursts out loudly from the CCW Stadium's crackling PA system and a fearful looking Eric Daisie emerges from the locker room double doors. GR: And his opponent, weighting in tonight at 214lbs and hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada this is "CRAZY" ERIC DAISIE!!! The nervous looking Eric Daisie crouches down and begins to rock back and forth at the top of the ramp way, covering his ears to block out his noisy entrance music and the crowd in attendance. Daisie appears to be holding some sort of brush or broom in his hand. EF: "Crazy" Eric Daisie is making his CCW debut here tonight at Slaughterhouse but he doesn't seem too enthusiastic about stepping into the ring with the seven foot tall Crybaby Walker. I for one can't really blame him. Walker is an absolute monster of a man! TC: Pah! This bout pits a physical freak against a mental freak. Daisie is a retarded piece of meat who won't last for more than a few weeks in CCW. Just look at him. This body isn't an athlete. He looks more like a janitor holding onto that brush! EF: I might not know much about Eric Daisie yet - sure judging by his entrance and his promo this week he might have a few minor problems drawing a line between fantasy and reality but Silas Creed wouldn't give Eric a contract if he wasn't a first class wrestler. TC: You idiotic English man! Daisie is an insult to the proud heritage of Canadian wrestling! Creed has only seen fit to offer him work to give his real workers a punching bag to work out on. Daisie isn't a threat to any one in CCW even that ignorant beer swilling drunk, The Geezer! After a few power bombs and chair shots I'm sure we'll never hear from Daisie again. Suddenly Daisie gets to his feet and maniacally begins to sprint towards the ring, touching a few out stretched hands from the crowd along the way. Daisie slides into the ring under the bottom rope and quickly rolls over to the nearest corner where he sits, holding hs knees to his chest and rocking back and forth. Still Eric grips his brush tightly in hands. Across the ring, referee Bobby Kramer is holding back Crybaby Walker who seems eager to get this match started. EF: Wait a minute! Walker just threw Bobby Kramer to the canvas and now he's charging towards Eric who's still sat in the corner! KRACCCK! DAISIE JUST NAILED WALKER FLUSH IN THE FACE WITH THAT WOODEN BROOM! CRYBABY IS DOWN! TC: Disqualify that mentally defected piece of meat referee! EF: But the match Titus hasn't begun yet, Kramer can't disqualify any one! DING! DING! DING! EF: Kramer's back up and now we have a bell! Look at this! Eric's already ascending the top turnbuckle as Walker groggily is getting to his feet. Eric is still clutching that brush of his. Crybaby's up JUST IN TIME TO GET SMASHED HARD IN THE CHEST WITH A PRECISION TOP ROPE MISSILE DROP KICK FROM CRAZY ERIC!!! THE GOLDEN CHILD IS DOWN AGAIN!!! What an unexpected start. Eric has the advantage immediately over a monster that's nearly a full foot taller than him and over one hundred pounds heavier! TC: Beginners luck I'll wager. Daisie's luck can only last for so long. He only has this advantage because of his cowardly sneak attack before the match had started. EF: Sneak attack! Eric was just defending himself from Walker's sneak attack! Crybaby would've crushed Crazy Eric in the corner if he didn't do some thing to defend himself. TC: Do not make excuses for this retarded body! He has no ability, no skill - he relies completely on luck and foreign objects to obtain success. EF: Eric now, pulling Crybaby back up to a vertical base and at last Eric has let go of that brush! Hold on! Walker lands a uppercut on Daisie's exposed chin! Eric reels back towards the ropes holding his hurt jaw. Crybaby on the attack now, he whips Daisie across the ring and off of the ropes. Eric ducks under a powerful clothesline attempt and hits the ropes again. Walker turns to face Daisie JUST IN TIME TO BE SMASHED WITH A HARD, THUMPING FLYING FOREARM STRIKE FROM CRAZY ERIC! Walker is down and Daisie with a lateral press! H goes for the pin! Referee Bobby Kramer drops to the mat and starts to count it... ONE.......... EF: Walker escapes! What a beautiful offensive strike from Daisie. Don't be fooled by this man's appearance - HE CAN WRESTLE AND HE'S GOT TALENT IN ABUNDANCE! It already looks like two men may have under estimated Crazy Eric - Titus and Walker - and one of those men is taking a beating in the ring! TC: I do not under estimate ANY ONE! Mark my words, this idiot Eric Daisie is just a flash in the pan, a fluke! EF: Eric again pulling his foe back up to his feet BUT AGAIN WALKER COUNTERS, THIS TIME WITH A TIMELY HAND THRUST TO THE THROAT! Crybaby again Irish whips Eric across the ring and hard off of the ropes. AGAIN Eric is agile enough to duck another clothesline attempt! Daisie coming back towards The Golden Child off of the ropes! Walker drops his head looking for a back body drop BUT ERIC COUNTERS WITH A SKULL SPLITTING RUNNING DDT! Crybaby's cranium has taken a Hell of a lot of punishment already and that DDT must have almost knocked the big monster out! TC: Walker may be big but his head is as exposed as any one elses and that seems to be Daisie's target. EF: On top of some impressive moves, Eric is showing himself to be thinking in the ring as well. Crazy Eric is so deceptive and unpredictable! Walker is getting back up but he looks like he's standing on rubber legs! Daisie continuing his assault on Crybaby's head with a hard, stinging right hook followed by a precision reverse elbow strike! Walker is reeling from this abuse! Eric lands another crunching right hook and again nails the big man with another brutal reverse elbow strike right to the bridge of Walker's nose! TC: Crybaby is still standing though! EF: Not for long! Eric just pulled Walker into position for some sort of inverted piledriver. Daisie just signalled to the crowd. What's this?! SIT OUT INVERTED PILEDRIVER! SIT OUT INVERTED PILEDRIVER! THAT'S THE DAISIE DRIVER! TC: What ever it's called it's just knocked Walker out for the count. EF: No one's head can take that kind of extreme trauma! Crybaby's body is crumpled up on the floor and he isn't moving! What a deadly move the Daisie Driver is - Walker just got drilled! Eric with the cover but this has got to be academic... Referee Bobby Kramer drops to the mat and starts to count it... ONE.......... EF: IT HAD TO BE! I don't know if ANY ONE could survive a Daisie Driver, what a lethal move! Armed with such a dangerous finishing move Eric Daisie could be capable of defeating ANY ONE on the CCW Roster! What an impressive debut! GR: Referee Bobby Kramer has awarded this match to your winner tonight, as a result of a pin fall, "CRAZY" ERIC DAISIE!!! "Basket
Case" by Green Day once again erupts throughout the arena accompanied by
the approving cheers of the crowd. Daisie crawls off of the motionless body of Crybaby Walker and scampers over to his wooden brush which, in turn he cradles lovingly to his chest.
**There is an advert for "Machiallian Manoeuvres", a Channel Z show where teams have to** **outwit one another in a deadly game of cat and mouse.**
EF: Welcome back to CCW Slaughterhouse. TC: Oui. EF: We've just seen Eric Daisie put it to Crybaby Walker. A most impressive debut from CCW's newest member. TC: Oui, but whether he can keep up such performance remains to be seen. Even "crazy" meat must strive. GR: The following contest is a CCW ANYTHING GOES MATCH scheduled for one fall! EF: And Gwendolyn proves that she is the Mistress of Ceremonies by moving things along, whether we like it or not... "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead begins to dominate the air waves as Messiah enters the CCW Stadium through the locker room double doors on the eastern side of the building. Without any hesitation, completely focused Messiah methodically stalks towards the ring ignoring the loud jeers and boos that the seven hundred strong crowd are aiming directly at him. GR: Making his way towards the ring, weighting in tonight at 283lbs, hailing from Parts Unknown, this is MESSIAH!!! EF: Messiah stepping through the ropes and into the ring now. This dark and mysterious warrior was so close to victory on his debut last week. I think tonight Messiah is going to be Hell bent on taking his frustrations of last week out on his opponent. The war of words that have erupted between Messiah and The Geezer have been incredibly intense. Messiah certainly hasn't been making any friends in CCW with his arrogant and provocative opinions and approach. TC: This isn't a popularity contest you fool and Messiah knows that. He is only interested in one thing - himself. Any thing else would simply be a distraction and I commend Messiah for recognising that fact. It is something that Messiah's ignorant opponent tonight would do well to learn. Popularity with the crowd and your peers counts for NOTHING! As
Messiah's entrance music fades it is quickly replaced by the blasting sound of
"Geezer's Need Excitement" by The Streets. On arrival, The Geezer is bombarded by the approving screams and cheers of the partisan crowd. A deafening THERE'S ONLY ONE GEEZER! chant can be heard from all four corners of the building as The Geezer stands on top of the steel ramp way, saluting the fans and shouting out his very own chant Geezer chant! EF: I swear that thew crowd's reaction for The Geezer gets louder and louder each and every week! The most popular man on the CCW roster is again ready to do combat and an Anything Goes match will suit his style perfectly. TC: Style?! The Geezer has no style. He is merely a drunken clown who has absolutely no respect for any one or any thing. EF: No respect?! Geezer is full of respect. Respect for our rabid fans and for this great country! TC: When are you going to stop living in the Nineteenth century, boy?! England is a dirty, little hole of a nation filled with dirty, little people of which The Geezer is the dirtiest! The Geezer begins his trademark, drunken swagger down the steel ramp and towards the ring - stopping along the way occasionally to let the fans pour beer down his eager throat! GR: Now approaching the ring, weighting in tonight at 275lbs and hailing from London, England this is THE GEEZER!!! As his name is announced a fresh wave of zealous support erupts for The Geezer as he climbs into the ring and again salutes the crowd appreciatively as Messiah retreats out of the ring to the floor. EF: We've seen Anything Goes matches before Titus and they have the potential to become blood baths in no time at all! TC: As the name suggests there are no rules in Anything Goes matches and falls count anywhere. EF: I've no doubt that this will be an ultra violent clash. Messiah is climbing back into the ring as Referee Walter Johnson is asking both men to come together in the centre of the ring. As I mentioned earlier these men have been sparring with one another all week over the microphone. You can almost feel the heat between these two men. Both men are desperate to prove just which one is the dominant wrestler. TC: This is a huge opportunity for Messiah. Despite Geezer's mental acumen he is an established CCW worker and a top contender for the CCW Point Blank Championship currently held of course by the first ever CCW Point Blank Champion, "Creepy" Charlie Lewis. If Messiah can emerge victorious over Geezer he'll instantly be recognised as a top contender himself. EF: Geezer and Messiah have been brought together by Walter Johnson. Both these huge men are toe to toe and ready to go. Johnson steps away as Messiah begins to talk trash right into The Geezer's face! Geezer though is giving it right back. Messiah with a shove to The Geezer's chest. GEEZER REPLIES WITH A STANDING DROP KICK RIGHT TO MESSIAH'S FACE! Messiah is down! TC: Well this match didn't take long to erupt. There seems to be a real hatred between these two men that has grown over such a short space of time. EF: Geezer now dragging Messiah up by his long dark hair. Geezer with an Irish whip on Messiah and back he comes hard off of the ropes. Geezer drops his head looking for a back body drop BUT MESSIAH IS QUICK ENOUGH TO ADJUST AND COUNTER WITH A TEXT BOOK SWINGING NECK BREAKER! Great reactions shown there by Messiah. TC: Geezer made a trade mark mental error and paid for it the hard way. EF: Messiah establishing an advantage now as he fires away at The Geezer with a series of brutal kicks and stomps to Geezer's chest and head! Messiah now dropping to his knees and blatantly choking The Geezer in front of the referee! TC: And that relic Johnson can't do a thing about it because anything goes! Strangle the life out of that wretch, Messiah! Squeeze! EF: Messiah's doing just that, squeezing harder and harder on The Geezer's throat! Just listen to the crowd's boos for Messiah. The London crowd don't like this one bit! TC: Who cares what these stupid fans want? I'm enjoying this! EF: Messiah eventually releases the choke hold before pulling The Geezer up AND DROPPING HIM DOWN AGAIN HARD TO THE CANVAS WITH A SUPERBLY EXECUTED BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! Messiah hooks a leg and goes for a cover! Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: The Geezer, despite still trying to recover from Messiah's brutal assault had enough to escape but that was too close for comfort. TC: Choke that English pig again, Messiah! EF: Messiah retains the advantage. He grabs Geezer and tosses him through the middle rope and to the concrete floor! TC: Ah! Now this is where some real damage can be done. EF: Messiah stepping through the ropes himself now and onto the ring apron as The Geezer tries to use the steel barricade outside the ring to get back to his feet. Messiah now leaping off of the apron with a double ax-handle BUT THE GEEZER WAS FAST ENOUGH TO CUT MESSIAH OFF WITH A MARTIAL ARTS THRUST KICK TO MESSIAH'S ABDOMEN! TC: A piece of meat the size of Messiah should stay with a power based attack and not worry about leaping off of the apron. That mistake has put Messiah in a dangerous position exposed out there on the concrete floor. EF: Exposed indeed. The Geezer dragging Messiah back up now and fires him hard towards the steel ring steps with an Irish whip! NO! Countered! Messiah reverses the whip at the last instant AND THE GEEZER JUST CRASHED SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE STEEL RING STEPS! Heads up play from Messiah! TC: The Geezer telegraphed the move like the fool he is and Messiah knew exactly how to capitalise. EF: Geezer is down and clutching his injured shoulder. Messiah methodically stalking over to his fallen foe. He scoops The Geezer up AND SMASHES HIM DOWN HARD ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR WITH A BIG TIME BODY SLAM! OH MY GOD! THAT COULD HAVE JUST BROKEN THE GEEZER'S BACK! What a show of Messiah's raw power! TC: The Geezer thinks he is extreme. Pah! Messiah is showing Geezer what extreme is! EF: Messiah is covering The Geezer! Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: HOW DID HE ESCAPE THAT! Some how The Geezer got his shoulder up! This man is amazing, what resilience, what determination, what courage! TC: He may have escaped this time but Messiah hasn't done with him yet! EF: Yes, Messiah is relentless - he's still on the attack. Again he lifts Geezer to his feet and then scoops the Londoner over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Where's Messiah going? He's taking The Geezer away from the ring, down the aisle and back up the steel ramp way that leads back to the locker room! TC: Messiah must surely have some very evil intentions for The Geezer. He doesn't just want to defeat the English scum - he wants to make a statement. EF: Well based on this performance I don't think any one can question Messiah's supreme talents and WAIT! Geezer just turned Messiah's fireman's carry INTO A CRUCIFIX PIN ON THE STEEL RAMP WAY! MESSIAH'S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN... Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: Great counter by The Geezer but Messiah was the equal to it, his reactions are second to none! TC: Geezer is lucky to have escaped Messiah's fireman's carry. A Death Valley Driver or Samoan Drop on the steel ramp could have won Messiah the match. EF: Both men scrambling back to their feet now and launching into one another WITH A SERIES OF HARD LEFTS AND RIGHTS! Both men duking it out on the ramp way like a good old fashioned London pub brawl! Geezer getting the better of the fist fight. He nails Messiah WITH A DAMAGING KNEE LIFT RIGHT TO THE GUT! Messiah is doubled over in pain, I think that knee lift might have been a little bit below the belt! TC: Geezer is as dirty a fighter as they come. No tactic is beneath him. EF: Messiah seems to have had the wind knocked out of him, but if he hasn't HE CERTAINLY HAS NOW AFTER THE GEEZER LEVELS HIM WITH A CRUNCHING AX KICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! The Grandmaster of Drinking Games may like his beer but he's A HELLUVA ATHLETE! What a devastating kick that was! Geezer with the cover! Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: It's Messiah's turn to show how determined he is. What a show of fortitude to recover so quickly from that lethal looking Ax kick! TC: This match is so critical for both of these pieces of meat. Winning means everything to them. EF: The Geezer collects Messiah from off of the steel ramp. What now? Geezer is dragging Messiah to the top of the ramp way! Irish whip from Geezer to Messiah NO! REVERSAL! Messiah Irish whips The Geezer RIGHT INTO THE LOCKER ROOM DOUBLE DOORS! GEEZER JUST DENTED THE DOORS, HE HIT THEM WITH SO MUCH FORCE! TC: And he hit those doors shoulder first again - just as he did the steel ring steps earlier! EF: Geezer is down and clutching at that injured shoulder once more. The pain shooting through his body at the moment must be agonising. Messiah isn't letting his opponent rest for even a second. He's quickly over to Geezer's position and pulling the Londoner to his feet. This time Messiah scoops The Geezer up and over his right shoulder. RUNNING POWERSLAM! OH MY GOD! RUNNING POWERSLAM ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! Messiah just drove The Geezer hard to the floor! Cover! Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: GEEZER ESCAPED! GEEZER ESCAPED AGAIN! HOW DID HE DO THAT AFTER SUCH A BONE CRUSHING MOVE?! UNBELIEVABLE! TC: Even The Geezer can't take this sort of abuse for too long. Finish that fool off, Messiah! EF: The Geezer looks like he's really struggling out there. Messiah has aimed move after move at The Geezer's back and that strategy has really paid off. Geezer is still down despite that brave kick out a few seconds ago. What's this? Messiah has just exited the arena through the locker room double doors? Where is he going? He's on the verge of victory here! TC: Does that answer your question? EF: OH MY GOD! Messiah has just emerged from the locker room AND NOW HE'S ARMED WITH A TABLE! TC: Messiah senses that his time is approaching, that it is time to finish The Geezer once and for all! EF: Messiah setting the table up right outside the double doors as Geezer still writhes in agony on the floor, clutching his back. Messiah back over to The Geezer now and roughly restoring his vertical base. Messiah plants a hard driving kick into The Geezer's abdomen before pulling his head between his legs and yanking the Londoner up hard ready for a power bomb! What amazing power from Messiah to get the 275lb Geezer up like that with such ease! TC: Messiah's aiming that English cretin for the table! Destroy that idiot, Messiah! Hurt him! EF: Wait! The Geezer is fighting back! He's pouring on the offense while up there on Messiah's shoulders! The Geezer firing off hard closed fists to Messiah's exposed head and HURRICANRANA! What a fantastic counter! GEEZER ESCAPES THE POWER BOMB IN STYLE WITH A BEAUTIFUL HURRICANRANA! MESSIAH'S HEAD JUST CRACKED OFF OF THE CONCRETE FLOOR WITH A LOUD, SICKENING THUD! INCREDIBLE ACTION! TC: Damn! Get up Messiah - GET UP NOW! EF: What a come back! The Geezer now pointing to the table and nodding his head as a raucous TABLE! TABLE! TABLE! chant echoes noisily throughout the CCW Stadium! Geezer picks up Messiah - is that a faint trickle of blood that I can see? TC: That thunderous Hurricanrana has lacerated Messiah's head! EF: Look at this show of strength! The Geezer, injured back and all HAS JUST PICKED UP MESSIAH LIKE A RAG DOLL AND HAS HIM UP OVER HIS HEAD READY FOR A PRESS SLAM! ON MY GOD! THE GEEZER JUST OBLITERATED THAT TABLE BY SLAMMING MESSIAH THROUGH IT FROM OVER SEVEN FEET IN THE AIR!!! PHENOMENAL!!! Messiah went through the wood straight to the concrete floor!! Geezer down for the cover and hooking the leg! Referee Walter Johnson counts it... ONE.......... EF: THE GEEZER GOT HIM! WHAT AN AMAZING COME FROM BEHIND WIN FOR LONDON'S FINEST! LISTEN TO THE CROWD ROAR! What a massive win! GR: The referee has awarded this Anything Goes match to your winner, as a result of a pin fall - THE GEEZER!!! EF: What an awesome encounter! Both men giving EVERYTHING THEY HAD in an attempt to capture glory. A match like that doesn't deserve to have a loser, I think that both men have emerged from this brutal match WITH A HELL OF A LOT OF RESPECT AND PRIDE! Suddenly, "Geezer's need excitement" by The Streets begins to blast out of the CCW Stadium's PA system as referee Walter Johnson holds The Geezer's arm aloft in victory. EF: The Geezer is still in pain and clutching at his injured back as Messiah slowly begins to regain consciousness. Look at this! What a show of respect! The Geezer is offering out his hand to the fallen Messiah AND MESSIAH TAKES IT AND GETS TO HIS FEET! What a show of sportsmanship! These two me...WAIT! Messiah just booted Geezer in the gut and STUNNER! STUNNER! MESSIAH JUST DELIVERED A DEVASTATING STUNNER, OR DIVINE RIGHTS AS HE CALLS IT! GEEZER CAUGHT OFF GUARD AND HE PAID FOR IT BIG TIME! TC: Superb! Geezer may have won the battle but Messiah won the war! Geezer was far too trusting! Abruptly, The Geezer's victory music is replaced by "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead as Messiah stands gloating over the fallen Geezer. EF: Even after a fantastic performance from himself, Messiah wasn't happy and just had to have the last word. That makes me sick! Messiah's attitude stinks and sooner rather than later THE GEEZER WILL GET HIS REVENGE FOR THIS ATROCITY!!!
**There is an advert for "The Greatest Hits of R.A.R.E.", featuring hit single** **"Who's the King"**
EF: And now…I admit that I have some trepidation over the forthcoming bout. TC:
Ah, jeunesse, I concur. The DMZ match. Nothing is promised to be more brutal
than this match up. EF: Here we are. Four men facing two in Creed Championship Wrestling's first ever televised DMZ match. Another first for the federation and not surprisingly, we see once again the talents of Rob Hardy, Charlie Lewis, Ryan Valentine and Kyushichi Yasujiro. TC:
Do not forget CCW old timers, Helter Skelter and Ryuji Takehiro. EF:
Indeed. It is a strange match up. Made even stranger by Valentine and Kyushichi
being the only two to face off against the "Creepy Confederacy". I,
personally, find it most odd that Creed's "Golden Boy" does not have
any assistance in this match. Creed could easily have assigned 18 Wheeler,
Viktor November or even Jack Del Rio to partner up with Valentine and Yasujiro. TC:
Hidden messages, my ignorant English friend, hidden messages. EF:
You are telling me that even booking a match can contain wheels within wheels? TC:
Oui. EF:
Well, if that's the case, what is the message, Titus? TC:
Non. You will not get that from me. It is obvious. You must determine it for
yourself, jeunesse. For. Your. Self. EF:
Thanks. GR:
Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a CCW DMZ match, scheduled for one
fall. Your MAIN EVENT for the evening! EF:
The ever-lovely Gwendolyn giving us the hint there… TC:
…Bon. Straight
out of left field, the opening bars to "Woodpecker From Mars" by Faith
No More sounds out across the PA system. GR:
Weighting in tonight at combined weight of 965lbs, hailing from across the
globe, this is the CREEPY CONFEDERACY!! As if in response, the double doors are thrown wide open and out steps the huge form of "Creepy" Charlie Lewis, CCW Point Blank Championship belt worn around his huge waist. He is dressed in his usual attire, his ever-present lipstick shining brightly in the lights. Barely a few steps behind him are Rob "Shady" Hardy, "Ghetto Fabulous" Ryuji Takehiro and Helter Skelter, each following in the big man's footsteps, all equally proud and all ready for the upcoming fight. TC:
965lbs?! The fat man alone must be at least fifty per cent of that! The crowds across the arena let loose a steady rain of boos at the entering posse but none of them seem to care. As they head down towards the ring, not making any effort to be quick about their entrance, Helter Skelter waves at the crowd whilst Ryuji Takehiro makes threatening gestures at people booing him and his compatriots. As per usual, Charlie Lewis maintains his distance from the crowds, despite being the champion of the federation. However, never leaving his lips, is the sickly sweet smile of his. EF:
That group trouble me. I have to admit, I'm worried for Valentine and Kyushichi.
TC:
Worried for them? Worried? This is their job, jeunesse! They are but
bodies in this game. They wear their meat well but they must fight to live! Live
to fight! EF: I
am not doubting Valentine and Yasujiro. They've proven themselves in the ring
countless times. That's not the issue. The issue is what exactly their opponents
are capable of. This is a DMZ match. Once they get in that ring, all hell could
break loose and probably will!! TC:
Tres bien, I say! "Creepy", "Shady", "G-Fab" and Helter Skelter reach the ring. "Shady" and "G-Fab" mount the turnbuckles from the outside, looking out over the crowd, pointing down at Helter Skelter and Lewis. Meanwhile, Lewis and his compatriot climb in to the ring, where Helter Skelter raises the Champion's arm in victory. EF: I
don't care what anyone says, they look a fearsome sight down there. TC:
Oui. But all Houses do, from the outside. You have to go inside to really see
the décor. EF:
One day, you are going to speak plain English and we'll understand what you are
trying to say. TC:
Bah. There they stand within the ring for a few moments, soaking in the ambience of the "Abattoir", until finally the music ends. Replacing
Faith No More, "Kimigayo Wa Chiyoni", the Japanese National Anthem
starts playing, recorded with traditional Japanese instruments. The lights in
the arena dim and red spotlights illuminate the double doors to the CCW Stadium. Not before long, double doors are thrown wide, a powerful light silhouettes a figures in the entrance. The light goes out and the silhouette resolves in to Kyushichi Yasujiro dressed in a red Japanese robe. As he begins his stride down to the CCW ring, out step his managers; Ikemoto Iwahashi and Harley Tyres. Along side them comes the lithe figure of Lizzy, dressed in a slinky evening gown. GR: Making his way to the ring, weighting in at 230lbs, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, this is KYUSHICHI YASUJIRO!!! EF: Despite the crowd already standing in the ring, Kyushichi looks far from concerned. There he goes, putting forth an inscrutable veneer, showing us nothing but focus and presence. TC:
Oui, but he cannot afford to show fear or concern. One tiny mote of
insecurity…one small dot of doubt…and those hyenas will jump on him before
this match even begins! On
his way to the ring, he stops several times to greet the fans while bowing to
them. The
entourage pause at ringside, all staring intently at those inside, his managers
only a few steps behind him. Kyushichi puts his hands together, closes his eyes
as he does so. His manager Ikemoto ceremoniously throws salt into the air.
Kyushichi then re-opens his eyes and bows to Ikemoto. He is then handed the mic
by Harley Tyres. Kyushichi Yasujiro: Good evening, London! The
crowd cheers as Kyu waves to them. KY: Before the bell rings, I would, once again, want to take this time and pay respect to the late "King Son" Yoshihiro Yasujiro. Kyushichi
folds his hands together, once again closing his eyes and starts mumbling some
Japanese. After a minute or so, he opens his eyes again. KY:
I give you my thanks. I would like to apologise to everyone for not being as
great a fighter as my father before me. May his legendary soul rest in peace,
love and respect. The
crowd cheers loudly! EF: You have to respect Kyushichi's humility. TC: Humility? Bah. What if I told you it was just an act? EF: I'd call say you were a liar and I didn't believe you. TC: Believe what you will, jeunesse. The truth is immutable. For a few moments, Kyushichi and his entourage stand outside the ring as the Creepy Confederacy throw insults at them from inside. All insults are put to one side as the whispered words "I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me" echo over the PA. Right behind it is the thumping bass beat of "Lovedump" by Static-X. A few lights illuminating the curtained entrance pulse in time to the beat of the bass-line, and as the song picks up the tempo, the audience begins to clap along with beats. GR: Weighting in tonight at 217lbs and hailing from Monterray, Canada this is "The Professional Judas" RYAN VALENTINE!! EF: And
here's the "Golden Boy", Ryan Valentine. Creed's very own prodigy. TC:
Adopted son, more like… As the guitar hits, the double doors are roughly opened as "The Professional Judas" steps out on to the ramp. The song continues to build momentum as Ryan stands looking out over the crowd with contempt, beginning to walk slowly towards the ring as the vocal track begins. With perfect timing, Ryan reaches the ring just as the vocals build towards the chorus and Ryan athletically flips over the top rope, uncaring as to who else is in the ring. He proudly walks in to the centre of the ring, "Creepy" and Helter Skelter backing away as he enters. He turns to the crowd as the chorus sings "I always loved you/love dump me/your sh*ts like chocolate cake and/your ass smells like a rose". Ryan then gestures out, indicating the whole crowd as he mouths along with the words "I really hate you/love dump me/now my bowels ache and.../" and the echoed voice once more whispers "I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me" as the music cuts off suddenly and the lights go back up. From
somewhere near the commentator's table, Referees Jacob Heller and Grant Newsome
climb in to the ring as Gwendolyn Reign exits. EF:
And there are the two DMZ referees, Jacob Heller and Grant Newsome, wearing the
yellow and black signifying that they DMZ licensed. TC:
It is my understanding that Grant Newsome has only recently earned his DMZ
license. EF:
Yes, this is something of an audition for the man. TC:
We can but hope that he gets in the way! With
the two referees in the ring, they begin to eject individuals from the ring,
cutting the trash talk being shouted at Valentine as he stands proudly in the
midst of the square circle. After a time, around one corner, Rob Hardy, Helter
Skelter and Ryuji Takehiro gather as "Creepy" Charlie starts the bout
against Valentine, just the inscrutable form of Kyushichi Yasujiri at the
opposite corner. TC:
Le Vipere's corner is rather empty… EF:
Indeed. Referee Heller taking up his position around the Confederacy's corner.
Is that another message, Titus? TC:
If you see one… EF:
…That isn't an answer. TC:
You have your answer. EF:
You know…you really annoy me. TC:
I aim to please, jeunesse. EF:
ANYWAY. Referee Newsome and Referee Heller, both checking down their respective
persons, looking for foreign objects. Seems
both referees are satisfied. They look at one another…exchange a hand
gesture…I've no idea what that means…Heller's turning. He's motioning… DING!
DING! DING! EF:
There's the bell! AND SO IT BEGINS AS VALENTINE TRIES TO LAND A PRE-EMPTIVE
SUPERKICK ON LEWIS BUT LEWIS IS RIGHT OUT OF THERE!! Lewis escapes one of
Valentine's well-timed kicks by fleeing the ring! Who would have suspected that
from the Point Blank Champion?? Valentine is looking confused. So are the rest
of the Confederacy! Helter Skelter, Rob Hardy and Ryuji Takehiro look at one
another…Helter Skelter telling the shorter two to get into the ring…Hardy
and Takehiro both crossing the rope--HELLER IS ON THEM LIKE A TONNE OF BRICKS!!
HE EMPHATICALLY WILL NOT ALLOW BOTH OF THEM THROUGH THE ROPES! There's an
exchange between the two men…IT'S TAKEHIRO TO GET IN THERE! Takehiro
is through the ropes, he charges Valentine…HIP TOSS!! Takehiro scrambles to
his feet…another Hip Toss from Valentine! "Ghetto Fabulous" is
down…Valentine grabs him…FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!! VALENTINE LOCKS UP TAKEHIRO
AND TAKEHIRO IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!! What's this?? Helter Skelter reaches through
and grabs Takehiro's flailing arms! He's dragging him closer to the ropes!!
SURELY THAT'S ILLEGAL!!? Meanwhile,
Lewis clambers back on to the apron. TC:
Non, non, non! Team members may not enter the ring but then Helter
Skelter isn't doing so! EF:
Well then that is a rookie error on behalf of Valentine, putting Takehiro in a
leg lock so close to ropes! TC:
Again, non. Le Vipere is an experienced wrestler. You think he would do such a
thing without a reason? He is taunting them, bufon! EF:
Well, whatever he is doing, Valentine releases his lock on Takehiro pretty
sharply and gets to his feet. Helter
Skelter pulls Takehiro right out of the ring and "Shady" is quickly
inside to replace hi--ANOTHER PRE-EMPTIVE SUPERKICK FROM VALEN--HARDY COMBAT
ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! TC:
Bon. Valentine will quickly tire if he must face all four members of the
Confederacy. EF:
And that is probably his greatest problem…"Shady" is on his feet,
aims a Superkick of his own at Valentine…WHO COUNTERS!! VALENTINE GRABS
HARDY'S SUPERKICK!! HE'S GOING FOR A DRAG--HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! A LIGHTNING
QUICK ENZIGURI CATCHES VALENTINE IN MID-MOVE!! Valentine is knocked to the
floor! Hardy
jumps…drops a GORGEOUS SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP ON VALENTINE!! "THE
PROFESSIONAL JUDAS" reflexively rolls out of the ring! TC:
Le Vipere certainly is no rookie... EF:
Kyushichi Yasujiro leaps the ropes and charges "Shady"! Kyuschichi
charges at Hardy, performing a wide-arcing Yakuza kick. Rob Hardy barely has
time to jump backwards narrowly avoiding the attack. Rob Hardy goes down on one knee and attempts to sweep the legs from out underneath his opponent. Kyushichi leaps the attack and upon landing, counters with a crescent kick aimed throat-level at Hardy. Rob Hardy bends like a reed in the wind and the kick sails right over him, limbo-like. Performing
a backwards roll, Rob Hardy stands to his feet in one fluid motion, just in time
to cartwheel out of the way of Kyushichi’s high kick. At the apex of his
cartwheel, Hardy thrusts out a leg to kick out at his opponent’s sternum.
Kyushichi grabs hold of the leg and performs a devastating Dragon Screw.
However, Hardy, using his momentum from his cartwheel, quickly counters the
‘screw with a rolling Enziguri. Kyushichi, quickly releases his hold and jumps
back, avoiding the fast moving kick. Hardy
goes down as a result of his but rolls with the impact, picking himself up at
the tail end of the move. Kyushichi whirls round, turning right in to a Dropkick
from Hardy. EF:
AMAZING!! HARDY TAKES DOWN "THE PRINCE OF THE SKY" WITH A PERFECT
DROP KICK!! Kyushichi quickly gets to his feet and charges at Hardy! HE DROPS!!
HE'S DROPPED TO THE FLOOR AND BASEBALL SLIDED HIS WAY OUT OF THE RING!! HARDY
WHIRLS ROUND TO CHASE HIM JUST AS VALENTINE LAUNCHES HIMSELF OFF THE
TURNBUCKLE!! FLYING HURRICANRANA!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! HE HITS HARDY WITH A
FLYING HURRICANRANA AND "SHADY" IS DOWN! THERE MUST HAVE BEEN
AT LEAST TWO HUNDRED TONNES OF FORCE BEHIND THAT MOVE!! TC:
OUI! And all of it impacting on Hardy's petite head…it is fortunate that Hardy
has such a thick one, other wise he might have been seriously hurt! EF:
I would keep your mouth closed, Titus. You don't want to make enemies with another
of the roster do you? TC:
Bah! You speak of Geezer like I worry. EF:
Hardy is barely moving. Valentine goes for the pin! Referee
Grant Newsome dives to the floor and begins to count! ONE.......... EF: SAFE!! "Shady" got his shoulder up just in time! Valentine gets to his knees…a moment of indecision. He gets to his feet and suddenly says something Kyushichi…the Japanese "Sky-Prince" is off the apron and going under the ring!? What in blazes is he doing?? He's reaching…pulls out…A SINGAPORE CANE?! He throws it to Valentine who brandishes it at the just rising Hardy! Hardy is on his feet and STRAIGHT OUT OF THE RING WITH VALENTINE CHASING HIS HEELS!! I didn't think weapons were allowed in this match? TC:
READ THE RULES, JEUNESSE! It is right there, within the ring, anything goes! EF:
Valentine is standing within the ring, weapon in hand, a dark grin on his face.
Seems no one wants to go toe to toe with Valentine while he has that weapon in
hand. Helter Skelter is off the apron and reaching underneath… Valentine
is trash talking the opposition… Referee Heller looks at the Confederacy and starts to count…ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! EF:
What is he doing?! TC:
Are you deaf, as well as stupid, jeunesse? He's counting! FIVE! SIX! EF:
Yes, I know that but why! TC:
Each team has a ten count to put someone in the ring, else they are
disqualified. Did you read the rules at all?? SEVEN!EF:
Of course I did! But, well, I didn't really get them… TC:
Mon dieu, you are truly stupid… EF: Here comes Helter Skelter, a bin in hand. He throws it in to the ring, obviously aiming for Valentine, who merely steps backwards out of harms way…TAKEHIRO IS INSIDE THE RING!! Trying to take advantage of the situation!! He aims a kick at Valentin--WHO MERELY WHACKS THE JAPANESE HIGHFLYER RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THAT SINGAPORE CANE!! Takehiro's hands instinctively go to his face…Valentine whacks him across the back, shouts something at Kyushichi…he mounts the turnbuckle… Valentine with another blow to Takehiro's back…THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A SERIOUS BLOW!! IT SPLINTERED THAT WEAPON IN TO PIECES!! Valentine turns and slides out of the ring!! Kyushichi launches himself in to the air…MUSASABI BODYPRESS!! HE LANDS THAT DEVASTATING MOVE RIGHT ON TAKEHIRO!! Hundreds of tonnes of force impact on the "Ghetto Fabulous" wrestler and Kyushichi hooks the leg! Referee
Grant Newsome dives to the floor and begins to count! ONE.......... EF:
Again, Takehiro just manages to escape costing the Confederacy the match! TC:
If the Confederacy were that clever, they would never allow him in to the ring!!
I fear he is more hindrance than help… EF:
I think Helter Skelter agrees with you!! He walks around the side of the ring
and bodily drags Takehiro out of the ring before any more damage can be done!
He's giving "Ghetto Fabulous" a royal dressing outside the ring!! He's
not happy with Takehiro AT ALL!! TC:
And you are surprised? EF:
Not so much surprised, more intrigued! Is this the first cracks appearing in the
Confederacy's stability? TC:
All things have their flaws, some are more visible than others. But is not
always the obvious flaws which are the most dangerous… EF:
And on that note, let's get back to the match! Hardy's turn back inside the ring
whilst his associate, "G-Fab" is receiving a roasting for his weak
performance. WAIT! He's half way through the ropes when "Creepy" puts
a hand on his shoulder! I think…yes! "Creepy" is inside the ring and
facing off against Yasujiro. TC:
Ah, "the Walrus" is back in the ring at last! Some champion… EF:
Now that is hardly fair. I am sure "Creepy" Charlie Lewis has a method
to his madness. TC:
All I can say is: coo-coo-ca-choo. EF:
Very drole. TC:
Merci. Meanwhile, Helter Skelter escorts "Ghetto Fabulous" back to their corner. EF:
Yasujiro runs at Lewis…RUNNING HEADSCI--WAIT! WAIT! LEWIS GRABBED YASUJIRO
MID-MOVE!! POWERSLAM!! HE COUNTERED WITH A SITOUT POWERSLAM!! He goes for
the pin!! Referee
Jacob Heller drops to the mat and begins to count! ONE.......... EF: Yasujiro is stunned but not out!! Lewis gets to his knees and rolls Yasujiro over. HE'S GOING FOR THE CREEPY CLUTCH!! THERE HE GOES!! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!! YASUJIRO IS HOWLING IN PAIN!! TC:
Yasujiro has been in that move so many times, he should be used to it by now! EF:
Regardless, he's shouting his pain! TC:
Oui, but do not forget Valentine… While Yasujiro howls from within the "Creepy Clutch", Valentine drops off the apron and starts to fish under the ring. Within moments, he has a bin of his own. He stands back and bodily lobs the bin at Charlie Lewis, who promptly takes the attack on his back, knocking him flat, subsequently releasing Yasujiro. Valentine reaches in to the ring and, putting a foot against the ring, just manages to pull Yasujiro out from underneath Lewis and out of the ring! EF:
Unbelievable! That has to be stretching the rules! TC:
If Grant Newsome is happy with it, then you should be happy, Edward Faust. EF:
Somehow, I doubt Jacob Heller would be quite as lenient… With both Valentine and Kyushichi outside the ring, Referee Grant Newsome begins to make a count… ONE! TWO! TC:
Are you forgetting Helter Skelter pulled exactly the same stunt earlier? EF:
Ah, well, that did not hit anyone! TC:
Bon. Finally, I see that grey matter beginning to warm up… THREE! "Creepy" Charlie Lewis starts to get to his feet, the bin rolling off his back as he stirs. FOUR! EF:
What are they waiting for? FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! TC:
They box clever, jeunesse. NINE! Before Grant Newsome can count ten, Valentine slides back in to the ring. He gets to his feet and charges towards Lewis. However, Lewis is quick to notice the charge and he desperately rolls out of the ring. EF:
Again, Lewis is out of the ring before Valentine can even lay a hand on him!
What is with our Point Blank Champion?? Shouldn't he be showing Valentine why he's
the Champion and "The Viper" isn't? TC:
Did you stop to think that perhaps he is, non? EF:
I hardly see how running away every time Valentine comes near him is showing any-one,
any-thing, other than sheer cowardice! TC:
If that is your belief, then I urge you to pay attention to Lewis when he
explains himself, jeunesse. EF:
Valentine has an irritated look on his face. Seems that whatever Lewis is
planning, there's nothing he can actually do about it. He glares at Lewis and
climbs out of the ropes, he turns to Yasujiro and jerks a thumb back in to the
ring. The "Prince of the Sky" nods and climbs back in! TC:
That will not get Lewis back in to the ring, Le Vipere… EF:
Ryuji is patting Lewis on the arm…he's empathetically gesturing and pointing
at the ring…does he want another shot?? Lewis looks down at Ryuji and shrugs. Ryuji
is back in the ring!! Helter Skelter puts a hand on Lewis' shoulder…seems
those two are exchanging words… TC: Again, do not underestimate their intentions… EF: Takehiro and Yasujiro lock up!! They struggle, struggle…Takehiro, somehow, with the advantage! Takehiro with an Irish Whip on Yasujiro…REVERSAL!! Kyushichi sends Ryuji off to ropes…rebounds off the ropes…charges Kyushichi…BASEBALL SLIDE!! HE DID EXACTLY WHAT VALENTINE AND YASUJIRO DID!! He's through the ropes and out of the ring! Kyushichi turns around looking for "Ghetto Fabulous"…SMASHED RIGHT IN THE MOUTH BY ROB "SHADY" HARDY!! Springboard Dropkick catches Yasujiro and puts him down! EF: They can't do that can they?! TC: Oui! The Confederacy making use of the no tag rule just as Valentine and Yasujiro did. Once one member of a team leaves another can come in immediately to replace them. Great double team work out of Ryuji and "Shady". His
work done, "Shady" vacates the ring and "Creepy" takes his
place. He strides purposefully over to the downed Kyushichi and picks him. He
grabs him and sends him sailing across the ring with an Irish Whip. Yasujiro
races across the ring, however, instead of rebounding off the ropes, Valentine
pulls it down the top rope, causing Yasujiro to go sailing over the top! EF: I don't believe it! Valentine….Valentine did that to his own team mate…"Creepy" just staring…I don't think even he expected that! TC: OUI! OUI! VALENTINE JUMPS ON TO THE TOP ROPE AND PERFORMS AN EXPERTLY TIMED SWANTON BOMB ON THE FAT MAN… EF: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! A MOST IMPRESSIVE MOVE BY VALENTINE THERE!! He goes for the pin…but no one is home!! HELTER SKELTER DRAGS "CREEPY" OUT OF THERE BEFORE VALENTINE CAN EVEN MANAGE A PIN!! EF: What a coward! He wants us to call him a champion?! TC: Yes, but Ryan is oblivious to the fact "Shady" has climbed to the top rope. Suddenly,
"Shady" launches himself at Valentine and catches him with a nasty
looking Missile Dropkick. "Shady" is on top of Ryan and nailing
him with a flurry of right hands. He picks up the "The Professional
Judas" and places him in a corner, subsequently heading over to the
opposite corner. "Shady" suddenly charges at Valentine, only to
suddenly find himself hit in the face by a quick kick to the face. Rob Hardy
staggers backwards, reeling from the blow. EF: Valentine narrowly escaping---JUDAS KISS!! THE JUDAS KISS!! VALENTINE FOLLOWED UP HIS KICK WITH A JUDAS KISS!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER!! Referee
Grant Newsome drops to the mat and begins to count! ONE.......... EF: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! VALENTINE DID IT!! HE BLOODY WELL DID IT!! I'M…I'M STUNNED!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT VALENTINE AND KYUSHICHI MANAGED TO WIN!! I MEAN, I CAN'T…AMAZING!!! TC: And do you understand now, Edward? "I
can't believe I'm letting you do this to me" echoes across the arena and
"Lovedump" begins to play in victory. GR: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners, by pinfall, "THE PROFESSIONAL JUDAS" RYAN VALENTINE AND KYUSHICHI YASUJIRO!!! Valentine
is in the middle of the ring, standing over the recumbent form of Rob
"Shady" Hardy, a dark grin on his face, arm raised in victory. Outside
the ring, "Creepy" Charlie Lewis stares intently at Valentine, Helter
Skelter stood slightly behind him, his masked face unreadable, whilst Ryuji
Takehiro goes mental with frustration. The last thing we see on screen is Lizzy attending to Kyushichi, helping him get to his feet… FADE OUT |
