"SHAWN AND JOJO TAKE ITALY PART 2"

 

Fresh out of the shower and now fully dressed, Shawn walks out of the bathroom and sneaks past JoJo who has his back turned. Making his way up the steps as quietly as possible and closing the door to his bedroom behind him, he sits down on his bed and opens his laptop. Shawn scours the internet for an idea of what the two could accomplish in Italy. The RMI compound being located in Florence was pretty centralized in the country. Pisa was nearby but Rome was to the south. Shawn imagines JoJo at the Vatican and quickly decides the two will visit Pisa as JoJo would likely end up detained by the Vatican Police regardless of whether they visited the home of the Pope or not. The leaning tower it was.. Shawn stands up shutting his laptop and begins to walk back downstairs but as he approaches the door it bursts open the corner of the door catching him in his face and sending him tumbling backwards to the floor.

“God damnit!” Shawn shouts clutching his nose, now broken again from the impact of the door.
“Why the fuck can you not give anyone privacy?”

JoJo peers down at Shawn from the doorway.

Shawn stands up and walks over to the mirror, his eyes already beginning to blacken again. “This was just beginning to heal up man. I'm gonna have black eyes forever.” Shawn pouts a bit and sits back down on his bed.

JoJo approaches Shawn and sits down on the bed next to him. “I brought you something, I wanted to put it on your bed before you got out of the shower. I thought you might like to have it.” JoJo lays a mask on Shawn's lap and a smile appears wide on his face. JoJo had brought Shawn the very first mask he had ever worn.

“Dude where did you get this?” Shawn asks pulling it over his head.”God it fucking wreaks in this thing.”

“I stole it from RMI” JoJo replies “Did you know that Romeo has a bunch of things stored in the back from UBW?”

“I did, It's like a museum back there. Randolph's orange pants, The Beasts shovel. We should raid it and decorate the apartment.” Shawn grins knowing Tommy would disapprove but it was junk to everyone but the people of UBW.

“I took something else.. But like… NOBODY knows it exists anymore…” Jojo whispers, “I mean, if he found out I had this thing… oh man, i’d get a rubber bullet in my arse, I bet.”

Shawn forgetting his nose had just been rebroken stands up excited. “Cmon bud, Off to Pisa.”

“Do you even listen when I talk?” Jojo shakes his head, “Don’t you want to know what I took!!”

Shawn thinks for a moment about what JoJo had said, unable to think of anything himself “Go on out with it then.”

“Bro…” Jojo leans in close, as if anyone in the last 14 years had cared, “I got Ravoni’s bat…”

“Ohhhh shit.” Shawns eyes get wide. “We should put it in one of the clear plastic boxes and hang it somewhere. That's a hell of a find. Now we've gotta go man it's an hour from here to the leaning tower. I thought about Rome but…. Then i had this vision of you in the Pope's hat and decided against it”

Shawn stands up still wearing the red mask and leads JoJo out of the room and down to the car. A small rented Fiat that seats only two. “You wanna drive?” Shawn grins knowing Tommy would not approve. “Fuck it right?”

“I can drive, sure…” Jojo begins limping towards the small vehicle, Shawn cocks his head at the limp, and feels maybe he shouldn’t ask… but decides to anyway.”

“What's going on, why are you walking like that?” Shawn shakes his head. “This isn't like the neck brace you wore for no reason is it? If you can't drive I will i just figured id offer”

Jojo seems frustrated that he asked, reaching into his pants. From his pant leg he slides out an old, weathered wooden baseball bat.

“Didn’t I just tell you…” Jojo holds it up, “That’s…. RAVONI!”

“You fucking brought it with you!? How did you get it by customs…..Don't answer that.” Shawn opens the hatch of the car. “Put it in you can't carry that thing everywhere with you.”

“While in Spain, as they say.” Jojo says, “I figured, we are here! Let’s give it back to his ancestors! Plus, there’s this small town for “small people” only called Litaly. Let’s make a day of it!”

“Hey man.” Shawn points at the mask still on his face. “Were gonna do whatever you want today. Litaly? I don't think that's a real place. Where do you come up with this stuff?”

“The Uncovery Channel.” Jojo’s shoulders and arms go up, “Don’t you know anything, bro? Come on! You’re holding up our day. You drive.” Jojo throws the bat in the passenger seat even though Shawn popped the trunk and sits down with it.

Shawn closes the trunk and walks around to the driver's side. Opening the door and climbing in. “Seat Belts.” Shawn shouts then starts the car and pulls off before JoJo can buckle in.

Two hours and a lot of missed turns later. The duo arrive in Pisa Italy. “Where do you think you're gonna find the Ravoni’s man? Did you even look into this?”

Jojo, still trying to tape the new crack on his facemask from Shawn peeling off and the bat coming back against it, he rips the black electrical tape and finishes covering the fracture.

“The RavOOONi’s ARA the POPULA!” Jojo says with two pinched fingers in his worst cliche italian accent, “We’ll just ask pe-” Jostaritus………………………………….. “People.”

“Whatever you say man, If we don't find them though we're keeping that bat.” Shawn backs the tiny car into a parking spot, shuts it down and steps out. “Fuck that thing is small.” He says stretching his back. “What do you wanna do first? Blane and I tried pizza in Venice and it was awful.”

I don’t like pizza, man... “ Jojo says as if Shawn should know already, and points to the holes on his face mask, “I need spaghetti… like… a noodle at a time. Unless we can get pizza shake… then I can use a straw.”

“Spaghetti it is?” Shawn looks off into the distance and points. “Look bro there it is! The Leaning Tower of Pisa.”

“No, man… I told you…” Jojo is frustrated, “No pizza! Holes. I couldn’t even do a slice let alone a tow- oh, pisa. I’m gonna climb it, watch this.”

Jojo drops the bat and starts running across the street where honking cars curse in Italian out of their windows, the masked fool jogging once he hits the half way mark in the road because he’s not in shape. Now, he has stopped. Now, he has slipped into jostaritus…………………

Shawn taken off guard by JoJo just running off stands there in confusion before realizing what was said. “Wait what?.... You.. Oh Shit! You can't climb the tower!” Shawn takes off hoping to catch up to JoJo before he either recovers or is hit by a car.

Jojo recovers and takes off again just before Shawn gets to where he was standing and is plowed by a bicyclist full blast, causing both Shawn and the rider to tumble to the hard asphalt. Jojo stops when he reaches the sidewalk, turns to see the mayhem, and chuckles before turning back and heading for the tower.

Shawn stumbles back to his feet and approaches the bicyclist but the man scrambles to get away from him. “Are you okay sir?” The man gets up and begins to run off leaving his bike behind. “What the fuck?” Shawn yells out to JoJo “Dude was afraid of me. I'm just a normal guy, what was his problem?” Then begins pursuing him again realizing he's not going to catch him by the time he reaches the tower he slows down to a walk and decides to just let what's going to happen happen.

“Shawn!!!” Jojo’s faint voice can just be heard over the city sounds, “HELP!!!”

He continues to walk knowing there's nothing he can do. “I'm coming bro! Just start climbing down!” Shawn shakes his head and mutters under his breath. “Like a cat, gets himself up but wont get himself back down.”

“I’m going to die… i’m going to die… i’m going to die…” Jojo hangs, desperately clinging onto a ledge with both hands as he dangles from three feet off the italian’s soil.

Shawn stops asking a local passerby. “Are you familiar with the Ravonis?” The local nods “Hey Jo! This guy says he knows the Ravonis!”

Jojo hears Shawn and drops himself from the ledge. Brushing himself off and walking over.

“Hey! That’s great!” Jojo says, “wait… what did you do with the bat?”

“I didn't grab it, you had it. Then you just took off…” Shawn’s voice lifts in frustration.

“Shawn… you can lie to me… but don’t lie to me in France.” Jojo pleads.

Shawn puts his hands on the side of his head and squeezes suddenly realizing why the man was so weirded out. He was still wearing the mask. “ Fuck it…. When in France.”

“Welp…” Jojo says, “Let’s go get pizza.”

“Lead the way bud.” Shawn states unsure of what they were actually going to eat. “I thought you wanted spaghetti. But it's your call.”

Jojo runs into the traffic again, jumping over the fallen bike that’s still in the side of the roadway, and clears the road completely. He bends down and picks up the bat, turning to Shawn and holds it up with joy, “I GO-” suddenly, a woman on a bike collides with his body, ending his celebration as they both tumble onto the sidewalk.

Shawn cringes watching the whole thing go down. “Hey! Share the Road Asshole” he yells at the female cyclist as he chases after the bat now rolling down the street away from JoJo. “I got it! You get yourself together!”

“Do you know the Ravoni’s?” A Jojo on all fours looks up at the woman that hit him, also laying on the ground, a facial expression of shock.

Shawn runs up to JoJo and the woman. “Woooh! Ive got the bat. Hey you okay mam?” Shawn reaches down and pulls JoJo to his feet then goes to assist the woman. Pulling the mask off of his face only to freak her out even further both of his eyes now completely swollen and black from the freshly rebroken nose. “Do you speak english?”

The woman responds “ Yes I speak English not everyone in Italy speaks only Italian.”

“My friend and I are looking for a family, seemingly a popular surname here. Have you heard of the Ravonis?” Shawn smiles at the woman and she draws back from him picking up her bicycle.

“Yes” She replies “They have an estate here in Pisa”

“OH!” Jojo interrupts, “You guys have that leaning tower, right?”

“Jo you just tried to climb it…..” Shawn returns his attention to the woman. “Where can we find this estate?

“Via Ravoni of course.” the woman says “Now if you two…. Weirdos dont mind i have somewhere to be.” She takes her bike and rides off.

“She was hot…” Jojo fixes the electrical taping holding his mask together.

“You should have tried to get her number…” Shawn says.

“Not my type…” Jo responds.

“Via Ravoni she said.. That's where we'll find his family” Shawn pulls his phone out to google the address the two still standing in the bike path.

“I feel like you are really wasting our time here with that phone…” Jojo says, looking down at his watchless wrist.

Shawn looks up at JoJo. “The Ravonis aren't far from here, we can walk. Follow me.” Shawn pushes past JoJo heading east away from the leaning tower.

“I guess we’re just gonna skip lunch then.” Jojo jogs to keep up, “Hey… do you think they’re gonna like… recognize us? I mean, do you think they think they’re nuts too or are they going to lock us in cages…”

“Why would they lock us in cages? But then again what if they do…” Shawn stops in his tracks and stares at JoJo. “At least well have the bat right?”

“We shouldn’t even be given them this bat after what Randolph did…” Jojo scoffs, “You have the worst ideas.”
“This… But.. Ugh.. Whatever.” Shawn starts walking again, following the GPS instructions to Via Ravoni. “They have to be kinda well off to have an estate here. Maybe they will pay us to get it back.”

“What!” Jojo is outraged, “So they can tell that nutcase that we hustled his mamamia and pappy? I ain’t tryin to get claired. You know.. Because Ian…”

Jojo realizes his friend is dead and that is not something he should joke about.

“Too soon, Shawn.” Jojo is disappointed in Shawn, “Why would you laugh at that.”

“You know its easy to see why Tommy wanted to fire you sometimes..” Shawn looks up at the street signs trying to determine where they are. “Somethings wrong. Maybe it's just the fact that i don't understand Italian but. I Feel like we are going the wrong way.”

Shawn shakes his phone like it's going to help him figure out where they are supposed to be headed. “I'm gonna regret asking this but you don't read italian do you Jo?”

“No.” Jojo answers quickly, “I will NOT be condensed to a convenient plot device. You figure it out!” Jojo sits down on the middle of the sidewalk.

Fine, I'll return the bat myself.” Shawn storms off down a street still following the GPS on his phone. Shawn makes it halfway down the road when the GPS tells him to make a left into a little alleyway. Then tells him he's arrived at his destination. “JoJo! I think we found it! I Think this little shit street is Via Ravoni and I think this apartment building is the estate!”

Shawn taps on the metal door. “JOJO!! CMOOON!”

Begrudgingly, Jojo huffs and puffs but stands up, bat in hand to drag himself towards Shawn at the metal door.

From inside of the building shuffling about can be heard as well as what seemingly sounds like an agitated Italian male moving towards the door. “Chi è Chi è Chi è”

“HELLOOO IS THIS THE RAVONI RESIDENCE?” Shawn yells through the door.

It opens slowly “Sì questa è la casa Ravoni” says a gruff voice but as the figure appears from inside It is a middle aged woman but looks strangely familiar.

“Nah man….” Jojo becomes frightened, “I’ve seen Scooby Doo enough…”

Shawn grabs JoJo and shoves him towards the door. “You’ve got the bat man.”

“Here… take it!” Jojo holds it out, looking away in fear as he trembles, but out of the corner of his eye hole… he notices the same similarity as Shawn. His face turns as the woman looks up and down at the bat.

“Soci… Soci…” Jojo says Shawn thinks he did, in fact, speak Italian afterall.

“Miss, do you speak English?” Shawn winces expecting the woman to grab the bat and start beating them both.

“A little bit.” She says “What is this?”

“We are from the US. We brought you this bat used by Danny Ravoni. We wanted to return it to the family.”

“Ah sì sì Danny entrare entrare” she grabs Shawn roughly by the shoulder and guides him into the building.

Inside is a large flat style apartment with the entire family gathered in a single living area around a small tv in the middle of the room. “

“Tutti questi uomini sono amici di Danny che ci hanno portato un regalo.” She says and the entire family turns to look at Shawn.

“Jojo… get in here you gotta see this.” Shawns jaw drops in disbelief.

“Can we just go?...” Jojo turns the corner, and his head falls to the side…

“Oh my god…” Jojo is stunned, “There’s more of him…”

A man walks out of a closed door into the main room wearing suspenders, a white T-shirt and grey slacks. “ITS HIM! RUN!” Shawn grabs the bat from JoJo and throws it towards the Ravoni in suspenders then pushes JoJo out the door closing it behind him. Only to turn and find a young woman carrying a baby. Shawn almost tramples her but catches himself just in time. “I'm so sorry, miss.” The baby looks down at Shawn in his mask and immediately begins to cry terrified of the spider mask. “JoJo!!! Look at the baby!”

“KILL IT!!!” Jojo swings his hand at the infant before turning to run.

Shawn follows suit running away behind JoJo. The two continue running for probably a good mile or two before coming to a stop realizing that no one has been chasing them.

“That may have been the scariest thing i've ever seen. The entire family all looked exactly the same.. Do you think that was actually Danny in there? Has he been hiding here in Italy?” Shawn huffs and puffs trying to speak but also still trying to catch his breath.

“I don’t want to talk about it ever again.” Jojo seems to be crying under the mask, “I’m never coming to Eurasia again.

“I wonder sometimes if you ever really know where you are…” Shawn shakes his head, frustrated.

“I know exactly where I am!” Jojo perks up, grabbing Shawn’s arm to twist him to look where he is pointing, “Litaly!!”

“Oh My God… I'm sorry I ever doubted you.” To Shawn's complete surprise before them a miniature town spanned in front of them. Dozens of little people shuffled about performing everyday tasks in the distance a small group of performers seemed to be reenacting some sort of drama.”

“They are… reenacting... “ Jojo leans forward to squint, “Is that… little Tony Montana?”

Jojo wanders towards the town, leaving Shawn behind.

Shawn finds a bench to sit down. JoJo seemingly enamored by Mini Scarface. He pulls his phone from his pocket checking it for updates from Tommy or Renee but only finds a notification from the XWF app. Shawn opens the app finding a promo from Chris Page and watches the video through. “This bitch.” He says “Tells me i'm distracted cuz I called Marf out in my first promo. Then he goes and calls out Dereck Diamond. Psh.” Shawn does his best Ed Bassmaster impression. “Unreal.” Shawn still wearing the OG mask reaches into his backpack pulling out the new one and comparing them next to each other. He pulls the white mask over his head and starts a stream. “Now I know I may have come off unsure of myself at first gentleman. You have both pointed that out. However as time has gone on and I've reflected on those thoughts. I talked myself out of that mindset. So now i'm gonna tell you how it really is. I'm going to climb to the top rope tomorrow night. One of you is gonna get caught in the spider's web and that's gonna be the end of it. Finn… You better fucking show up…. Thad i'm glad i have your attention, don't take it off of me. Don't underestimate me, and Chris, maybe it's not me that needs to be worried about having my head in the game. That's all for today. Good luck tomorrow. I'm gonna go see what Litaly is all about. Shawn flips the camera showing the XWF universe the town of little people located somewhere inside Pisa. “Who the fuck thinks of this shit?” Shawn says and the stream goes dead.