Reciprocity

 

 

Sammy, Let Me Go.

 

Sam Winchester could only stare down at the written note, his eyes wide and the shock was slowly overtaking him.  Dean was dead.  Just hours ago, he had brought his big brother back to their safe bunker…after he was killed by a super-powered angel known as Metatron.  An angel blade right through the heart…there was no coming back from that.  There was no chance of surviving that and, yet…Dean was gone.  Up out of his bed where Sam laid him to rest and nowhere to be found.  It was as if he completely vanished into thin air…and only certain creatures, certain monsters, were capable of doing that.

 

Crowley, the King of Hell, was responsible for ALL of this, including Dean’s death.  Sam was putting it all on that slimy, slithering snake and would bet dollars to donuts he had something to do with Dean’s disappearance and miraculous resurrection.  Dean was alive…or so it seemed.  Sulfur was left behind in Dean’s room and there was only one demon that could get into the bunker and out with a simple snap of his fingers.  Sam had been about to summon Crowley to question, and possibly kill, him, but Crowley never came.  The spell didn’t work.  That told Sam one thing – Crowley had already been here and had taken Dean to someplace far away from the bunker.

 

The worst part was Sam hadn’t even had a chance to tell any of this to Dean’s ex-girlfriend, Jeri, who was also a fellow hunter and didn’t live too far from the bunker.  Dean made Sam promise not to say a word to her about anything that had transpired.  She had been gone for a month on the road, hunting monsters and saving lives, just like they did.  Only Dean had an unfortunate encounter with the most dangerous demon on the planet, thanks to Crowley, and wound up bearing the Mark of Cain.  A sinister, evil mark that could only been passed on to someone worthy of it…and Dean was that worthy candidate. 

 

Sam and Dean had been fighting at the time and Dean had teamed up with Crowley to hunt down the First Blade in order to kill Abaddon, one of the Knights of Hell.  She had come blasting in from the past, literally, along with their grandfather, Henry Winchester, who wound up dead to save his grandsons.  Abaddon had to be stopped, she was on the verge of taking over Hell and Crowley’s crown, so he had enlisted Dean’s help to locate the First Blade.  It was the ONLY weapon on earth that could kill a Knight of Hell completely.  There was a catch to wielding such a dangerous weapon like that and it was the Mark of Cain.  Only the one who bore the Mark of Cain could wield the First Blade.  Sam didn’t know any of this at the time because he hadn’t been talking to Dean about much, too angry at him for what he’d done.  Sam had the opportunity to shut the gates of Hell forever with three trials God forced man to endure. 

 

The final trial was cleansing a demon, humanizing a demon, with purified human blood.  The problem was Sam would’ve wound up dead if he finished the trial and Dean wouldn’t let him do it, refusing to lose his baby brother.  He stopped Sam, but the trials took too much of a toll on Sam’s body and he was on the verge, the brink, of death.  That was until the angels fell, thanks to Metatron tricking Castiel, Dean and Sam’s angel friend, into coming to Heaven, stole his grace and casted all angels to earth.  Just like Lucifer had been casted to Hell from Heaven by God himself.  Sam was in a coma in the hospital when angels came to attack and tried killing Dean, but one angel saved him from catastrophe. 

 

He said his name was Ezekiel, a friend of Castiel’s, and made a deal with Dean to save Sam’s life by taking over his body.  The problem was Sam had to give consent for the angel to take him over, but he was unconscious, so Dean did it in his stead.  However, that angel had lied to Dean and his actual name was Gadreel, an angel that had been in Heaven’s prison for centuries.  Naturally, it was a struggle to cast Gadreel out of Sam’s body and Crowley helped with that by invading Sam in order to talk to him in his subconscious.  Maybe that was why Dean felt a soft spot for the King of Hell because he had helped the brothers, helped Sam, cast Gadreel out for good.

 

However, Sam was FURIOUS with Dean for once again taking matters into his own hands and not giving Sam a choice on whether to live or die.  Sam wanted to close the gates of Hell and had been ready to give his life for the cause.  He was ready to die.  Dean refused to let it happen and once again saved Sam, but Sam thought it was a venal act…An act of selfishness because Dean didn’t want to be left alone in this world.  Sam told Dean they could work and hunt monsters together, but as far as being brothers, as far as being personal went…it couldn’t happen.  Those were his terms and Dean abided by them…and the tension between them only grew more and more.

 

Gritting his teeth, Sam would not stand for this and had a lot to make up for to his big brother.

 

And he would start by bringing Dean home…by any means necessary.

 

First, he had to pay Jeri a visit and explain everything that happened.

 

~!~

 

Pouring a tumbler of bourbon, her choice of drink, Jeri padded from the kitchen to the living room, her deep blue eyes landing on a photo she couldn’t bring herself to take down.  Dean Winchester – the former love of her life.  They were both staring into the camera with his arms wrapped around her, her hands resting on his forearms and his head pressed against hers lightly, those deep green eyes of his and smile blazing through the photo.  Hers was too and they looked so happy together…and they were, for the most part.  The distance could go lonely at times, but they both understood the job they signed up for and made the moments they were together count.

 

Jeri met Dean on a hunt…and she’d been captured by a nest of vampires that had been feeding off her for a week straight.  It was miracle she had survived and they hadn’t turned her either.  She helped vanquish the nest with Dean and Sam before going their separate ways.  Jeri never thought they’d see each other again…until she discovered they lived in an abandoned building known as the Men of Letters bunker in the same town as her.  They randomly bumped into each other at the supermarket one night when Dean went for more supplies and the moment their eyes met, Jeri knew she couldn’t walk away from him… 

 

As they were walking out of the supermarket, Jeri made the first move and stopped him from making it completely to his car…a beautiful, black 1967 Chevy Impala.  It was absolutely gorgeous and Jeri remembered the first time laying her eyes on it and the ride inside was smooth as silk.  They had driven her back to her hotel, the same one they stayed at, after wiping out the vampire nest.

 

“Dean, hang on…” Jeri called out, holding her own bag of supplies and gazed up into his beautiful green eyes.  They were a soft green, a little darker than sage and not as deep as emeralds. “I never got a chance to thank you for what you did for me.”

 

“Don’t sweat it.  No reason to thank me, Jeri.”

 

His voice was a deep, raspy, gritty tone that sent shivers down her spine and warmed her from the inside out. “You really need to learn to read between the lines.  Are you always this smooth with the ladies?” She chortled softly, reaching up to glide her hand along the slight stubble on his face.

 

“Look, I don’t need to be thanked with sex, okay?  If you wanna bang just because I saved your ass, well…I’m not into that.” Dean was a straight shooter, always speaking his mind and sometimes, he was too blunt doing it.

 

Jeri balked at him, not believing the harshness of his tone and actually took a step back, feeling somewhat awkward. “Y-You actually thought I was talking about sex?”

 

“Weren’t you?”

 

Jeri started laughing, trying hard not to, but the look on Dean’s face was too good.  She was tempted to snap a picture of it, just to capture this moment in time. “Dean, do I REALLY look like that type of woman who propositions a man for sex just because he saved me?  Don’t get me wrong, babe, I’m sure you’re great in the sack and maybe we could go a round or two.  Have a tumble between the sheets together.  I wouldn’t mind that happening, but I’m not gonna bang you because you saved my ass.  I was going to ask if you’d come over sometime and let me make you dinner as a way of thanking you for what you did.”

 

A smirk curved his lips at her words as Dean set his bag of supplies in the Impala before turning back to face the chestnut haired beauty in front of him.  Damn if she wasn’t gorgeous from head to toe, that long hair of hers currently braided to hang down her back and she had the most amazing shade of blue eyes he’d ever seen on a woman.  Her body was also a treat and a half with curves in all the right places and those jeans she had on currently really showed just how pert her backside was.

 

“So you DO want sex from me,” Dean retorted in a lower pitch, reaching out to take her bag to place it gently on the ground before stepping towards her. “A tumble between the sheets, huh?”

 

Jeri’s heart began to pound in her chest at the look in Dean’s eyes, the hunger and longing in them, the desire, and was sure it all mirrored her own. “I didn’t stutter, did I?  But I’m not banging you because you saved me.  Get that through your head.” While she spoke, Dean was slowly backing her up until the Impala stopped her, her lower back pressed against the trunk with Dean hovering over her.

 

“So then, why?” Dean’s hands slid down her sides to rest on her hips, pressing himself closer to her, pressing his forehead to hers. “Humor me, sweetheart.”

 

“Because there’s a connection between us and I know you feel it too.” Jeri caressed his face tenderly with both hands, her lips aching to feel his against hers, to taste him. “And it’s something I can’t walk away from again without at least exploring it.”

 

Lowering his mouth to hers, Dean finally made the first move and captured her mouth, wrapping his arms around her to mold their bodies together.  The taste of her was far more exquisite than anything he’d ever had in his life and her fingers in his hair only fueled the fire inside of him.  Dean felt her shiver and growled, lifting her to plant that luscious jean covered backside right on the trunk of Baby, feeling her legs encircle his waist.  She couldn’t get enough of him, of this connection that was strengthening with every passing second being in his arms.  Only when they both needed oxygen did they part, their breathing ragged and her hands were touching him everywhere, caressing his muscular arms and chest.

 

“Your place or mine?”

 

“I do love a woman that takes charge.”

 

Needless to say, they left the supermarket together and spent the night going absolutely crazy on each other.

 

Their relationship lasted approximately six months before Dean suddenly showed up one night, when she was off the road, and ended things with her abruptly.

 

“We’re done, Jeri.  We’re over.”

 

“Dean, what do you mean it’s over between us?” Jeri was hurt, confused, and felt as if she’d been kicked in the gut and her heart ripped out of her chest. “Babe…”

 

“Don’t!” Dean shouted, holding his hands up and backed up from her, gritting his teeth to the point of gnashing. “You heard what I said!  We can’t be together anymore!”

 

“But why not?!” Jeri refused to back down, tears stinging her eyes and reached out for him, but Dean stepped back again. “Dean, please…w-what’s going on with you?”

 

The pain in her voice did something to Dean, broke something inside of him and all he could do was stare back at the woman he knew he loved.  It was for her own good to stay as far away from him because Dean would never be the same again, not after the burden he’d taken on with the Mark of Cain.  There was no reason for her to know about it either.

 

“Goodbye, sweetheart.”

 

“NO!  Please, Dean, I…”

 

“DON’T!” Dean growled on his way out the door, slamming it shut.  He knew if she said the words he knew were about to come out of her mouth, he wouldn’t be walking away.

 

Jeri wanted to chase after him, but her feet felt as if they were superglued to the floor, the tears in her eyes slipping down her cheeks.  She was one of the best hunters in the world, tough as nails, barely showed emotion and right now, she felt like nothing more than a crumbled mess.  Clutching her chest, right over her heart, Jeri began hyperventilating while sobbing and eventually, she curled up in a fetal position on the floor, crying herself to sleep.

 

A flash of lightning brought her back to reality as Jeri stared out the window, trying to push Dean Winchester out of her mind and heart.  It had been three months since that day and she still had no answers or anything regarding what happened to him.  Finishing her drink, Jeri set her tumbler down and was about to refill it…when a knock sounded at her door.  Wearing a tank top and cotton shorts, she padded over with a gun in hand, cautiously peeking through the peephole to see who was paying her this impromptu visit.

 

“Jeri, it’s Sam.  Sam Winchester.”

 

Frowning, Jeri’s eyes widened as she opened the door immediately, looking up into overwhelmingly blue eyes.  It made her insides twist and it didn’t help the fact his arm was in a sling at the moment. “Are you okay?” She demanded, after letting him in and shut the door behind her, flipping the lock.

 

That was a loaded question. “No, I’m not, but…I’m not here about me, Jeri.  Listen, I’ll just cut right to the chase and tell you straight out.  Dean’s in trouble.” Sam’s voice slightly shook at mentioning his brother’s name.

 

Jeri’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What do you mean, Sam?  What do you mean he’s in trouble?  What happened?” More importantly, why did she still care so much what happened to her douchebag ex? “Never mind, I don’t care.”

 

That threw Sam off slightly. “You don’t?”

 

“No.”

 

“I think you’ll change your mind after you hear what I’ve got to say.”

 

Shortly after the Mark of Cain was passed onto Dean, he ended his relationship with Jeri.  Sam couldn’t believe it and thought they made the perfect couple because they both understood what it meant to be a hunter, to being on the road and both put the job first before each other.  They saw each other every couple of weeks, spent a few days together and then went their separate ways until the next time they could meet up and see each other.  When Dean came home one night, three months ago, and told Sam he broke up with Jeri, and the reasoning behind it, at the time, Sam agreed with him because he knew his brother wanted to protect Jeri.

 

Now, not so much.

 

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you, but judging by the resentment in your eyes, I’m guessing my brother is the one who ended things and it wasn’t mutual.”

 

“What the hell is your point, Sam?” Jeri grunted, folding her arms tightly in front of her chest and couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. “It’s over between us.  He ended it and I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t care.  Just leave me alone and…!”

 

“DEAN IS A DEMON!”

 

That froze her cold and stopped any other words from coming out of her mouth, sheer horror filling her eyes.  What the hell did Sam mean Dean was a demon?! “Y-You mean a demon has him possessed and…”

 

Sam shook his head and took a deep breath, guiding her with his good arm to sit on the couch with him. “You need to know what’s going on and I’m gonna apologize right now because I should’ve told you sooner.  I should’ve told you the moment Dean came home three months ago and told me he broke things off with you.  At the time, I agreed with what he did because of what happened to my brother, but…now, things are very different.  And I need your help.  HE needs your help.”

 

Despite her heartbreak and what happened between her and Dean, Jeri’s hunter instincts were kicking in and she was all business.  If Dean was truly in trouble, Jeri wanted to do what she could to help him. “Okay, tell me everything.  You have my undivided attention.”

 

Nodding, Sam proceeded to tell her, for the next two hours, everything that transpired with Dean.  The Mark of Cain, being killed by the Scribe of God, Metatron, the angels falling because of Metatron’s spell, and finally Dean being resurrected as a demon, thanks to the King of Hell, Crowley.  Jeri listened to all of this, her stomach twisting violently until it was nothing more than a hard knot.  What the HELL was Dean thinking taking on the Mark of Cain?!  All to kill a Knight of Hell!  Was it worth it?  She didn’t think so, but this was Dean they were talking about and she knew how his mind worked.  Willing to do whatever it took for the greater good.

 

“Damn it…” Jeri whispered angrily, standing up from the couch and gritted her teeth, tears already sliding down her cheeks. “GODDAMN HIM!!”

 

She was pissed and Sam knew she had every right to be, but he sincerely hoped she didn’t bail on him now, not when Dean needed her.

 

“That STUPID son of a bitch!!” Picking up her tumbler, she threw it as hard as she could and watched it shatter into a million pieces off the wall, scrubbing hands down her face in frustration. “I’m going to kill him!  I’m going to send him right BACK to Hell when I’m done with him!  I can’t believe he didn’t tell me any of this!!  I knew something was off with him the night he came to see me and broke things off out of nowhere!!”

 

“Look, I know you’re angry, okay?  I know.” Sam stood up from the couch, holding his good hand up while slowly walking towards her. “I don’t blame you either.  Dean has A LOT to answer for, but first, we need to save him.  We need to find him, drag him back to the bunker and cure him.”

 

“I’m sorry, what?” Jeri didn’t hear Sam right.  She couldn’t have because there was no such thing as a cure for demonization, only using special tongues to exorcize them out of people. “Sam…you can’t…”

 

“We can, actually.” Sam proceeded to explain the trials that could have slammed the gates of Hell shut forever, the three trials that nearly cost him his life.

 

Jeri blinked, listening to all of this and every instinct of hers was telling her this wasn’t possible.  However, Sam wasn’t the lying type, not that she knew of, and the look in his eyes was one of sheer sincerity and truth.  There was a cure for demonization?  Since when?  Where was it when her mother needed it?  Jeri rubbed the back of her neck, knowing she had to quickly wrap her mind around this and nodded, folding her hands in front of her.


“So, what do we do, Sam?”

 

“First, we need to find him.”

 

“And then what?  If he’s a demon, do you really think he’s going to come quietly?”

 

Sam already thought that far ahead and was glad Jeri had too. “I know he won’t.  He’ll fight it tooth and nail, but we’re bringing him home, one way or another.”

 

Dean… Jeri felt the pieces of her shredded heart start to stitch back together again because now she knew why Dean left her and broke things off. “Sam, I…”

 

He smiled at her sadly and nodded, placing his good hand on her shoulder. “I know.  Now come on, pack your things and come to the bunker with me, so we can get started.  We don’t have any time left to waste.  We have to find him, lock him up and start the ritual to cure him.”

 

“I’m in.  Give me five minutes.”

 

Exactly five minutes later, with two bags in hand – one full of weapons and the other clothes – and everything she needed, Jeri left with Sam to head to the bunker, both hoping they could bring Dean back and save him.

 

~!~

 

Walking into Dean’s room, Jeri flipped the light on and stood in the doorway, shutting her eyes at the smell permeating the air.  It was him.  Leather and sandalwood.  Dean wasn’t the cologne wearing type, it was his own personal smell and it was all over.  Jeri swallowed hard, setting her bags down at the end of the bed and slid her fingertips over the blankets.  Sam had cleaned it up and put fresh linens on after Dean’s disappearing/resurrection act.  Something was poking out of Dean’s nightstand drawer, so Jeri moved to pull it out, not opening the drawer itself, and felt her heart cave into her chest even more.

 

It was them.

 

They were grinning while lying in bed together, naked, after another round of amazing sex.  She had pulled her phone out and snapped the photo of them before Dean tossed it on the nightstand to start another round with her.  If Dean truly didn’t love her and wanted nothing to do with her, why would he keep this photo around?

 

He left me to protect me, the damn fool! Jeri settled down on the bed, still holding the photo and slowly shook her head, feeling disappointed in herself for not catching on sooner. “I should’ve known something was going on with him.  I mean, I KNEW something was going on, but…” It didn’t matter.  Nothing else mattered except finding him, bringing him home, curing him and then forcing him to tell her everything with his own mouth.  Sam told her, but she wanted to hear it from Dean…and he was not pushing her away again. “I love you, Dean.  I should’ve said it sooner…” Jeri did try to tell him the night he broke things off with her, but Dean had stopped her.

 

“Tell him that when we get him back and cured, Jeri.”

 

Her head snapped to the side to look at Sam standing in the doorway and she set the photo down on the nightstand, lowering her eyes to the floor. “I-I don’t know what I’m going to do once he’s saved and cured, Sam.  I-I don’t know how he feels about me and…I can’t think about that right now…”

 

Sam walked over and sat down on the bed beside Jeri, taking the photo from the nightstand to look at it with a smile. “I think you know, deep down inside, how he feels about you.  And the fact he kept this proves that.  If he truly wanted to end things with you for good, he wouldn’t have kept this.  We both know why he ended your relationship and it’s because of that damn mark on his arm.”

 

Looking up at him with watery blues, Jeri did everything in her power to keep them in, to not let them fall, but it was no use.  They cascaded down her cheeks freely and Sam wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, making her sniffle a little. “I love him, Sam.  I love him so much and I hate that I never told him.  Being a hunter…”

 

“I know.” Sam wrapped his good arm around her in a purely platonic way, holding her against him to give her some kind of comfort. “Having a relationship in this line of work is tough, I get it.  I get why you didn’t tell him.  But once we find him and bring him back, you need to tell him and be honest about how you feel.  Yell and scream at him if you have to because he’ll try to push you away again because…”

 

“The Mark of Cain, right?  He’ll want to protect me by keeping me at arm’s length and out of reach.”

 

“Unfortunately, that’s kind of Dean’s move.” Sam shook his head, knowing Dean would not be happy with the fact Jeri was helping with this, but it was the right thing to do in his eyes. “He’s sacrificed so much throughout his life for me, for the greater good, and he’s never put himself first.  Even if it meant ripping his own heart out, he’d do it to save the people he loves and cares about.”

 

“I won’t let him push me away again or walk away.” Jeri took the photo from Sam, looking at it again and set it on the nightstand before rising from the bed. “I don’t care what he’s done, we know it’s not him doing this, it’s the mark.  And whatever he’s doing now isn’t him either.  I won’t give up on him, ever.”

 

Sam smiled at her words and stood up as well, deciding it was time to call it a night and let them both get some sleep. “Are you sleeping in here then?”

 

“Yeah, is that okay?  I feel…closer to him when I’m in here.”

 

Sam nodded in understanding. “Get some sleep and help yourself to anything you want.  Our home is your home.”

 

“Thank you, Sam.  Goodnight.”

 

Jeri watched him walk out, closing the door behind him and began walking around the room, finally picking up Dean’s headphones.  Music was another love of theirs and they both were obsessed with classic rock.  Laying in the bed, Jeri turned the music on and snuggled up against Dean’s pillow, covering up with his blanket before shutting her eyes, hoping he was all right.

 

~!~

 

“Dean, don’t make me do this…” Jeri pleaded, slowly moving in a circle while he did the same thing, his eyes cold as ice. 

 

They were hard, no life in them and the evil emanating from him was overwhelming.  The darkness…it was the Mark of Cain on his arm, boring right into his soul and there was nothing she could do to stop it from consuming him.  Sam was knocked out, thanks to a direct headshot from Dean and now it was just down to her.  If she couldn’t subdue Dean and slap the special anti-demonic handcuffs on him to stop his Demon side, she was good as dead.

 

It took a few weeks to pin down Dean’s location, but with Crowley’s help, they managed to do it and now here they were, ready to bring Dean home by force.

 

“This isn’t you!”

 

“Yes, it is.  This is the NEW me and I like it.  I don’t wanna be fixed, Jeri.” Dean shot back, moving just as slow as her while pointing a gun at her and she was doing the same thing to him. “Why are you here?  I told you we were done and I didn’t wanna be with you anymore.  Did you miss that memo or something?  Or maybe you’re holding out hope that I DO wanna be with you.” He started laughing at the look that crossed her face, shaking his head. “Oh sweetheart, you’ve been PINING for me?  You know what you were to me, Jeri?  A toy, a plaything, somebody to keep my bed warm.  That’s it.  You were NOTHING to me, Jeri, just another slut that was in my bed!  You know how many sluts I’ve banged since I left my needy brother?  I can’t count them all on my fingers and toes and it’s been fantastic!  I’m free for the first time in my life and I don’t need some bitch coming here trying to ‘save’ me.  I DON’T NEED TO BE SAVED!”

 

It’s not him, don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth!  That’s not Dean talking!  That’s the monster, the Demon, inside of him that needs to be cured! “Yes you do, and we’re going to do it.  We’re going to save you, cure you of that curse that’s on your arm and bring Dean back!  You’re not Dean and I refuse to believe a word you say to me.  This monster in front of me is not the man I spent my time and effort on.  But I know you’re in there, Dean.  Deep inside, I know you’re in there and I know Charlie’s death sent you over the edge.  If I would’ve known what was going on, I would’ve done everything in my power to help her, to save her!” She couldn’t though because Dean had kept her in the dark to protect her. “I know you’re feeling all of that guilt and pain bubbling up inside of you and I KNOW that’s why Metatron got the jump on you and killed you.  That’s why THIS monster took over, the Mark overtook you and resurrected you.  You didn’t want to deal with it anymore.  You couldn’t handle the anger, especially with that Mark on your arm.  So you can say whatever the hell you want to me, I’ve heard it all before and then some.  And since you broke things off with me, you’re free to slut around with whoever you want.  Again, that was the monster slutting around, not you, Dean.  I KNOW you…the real you…and the people you care about and love, you’ll do anything to protect them.”

 

While Jeri spoke to Demon Dean, Sam was back on his feet, feeling his equilibrium off track, but he had to do this.  He had to get those cuffs on Dean and that would seal away his Demon powers. Keep going, Jeri, keep him distracted! Sam silently pleaded, slowly making his way to Dean, behind his back, nodding his head ever so slightly to get her to keep talking.

 

Dean was laughing at Jeri, harder and harder, even though on the inside, deep down, her words did pierce him.  He wouldn’t let her see it, though, and the laughter died, his eyes narrowing. “I’m about to prove you wrong with that last thing you just said, Jeri.  But I’m not gonna do it with this,” He dropped the gun to the ground and pulled out none other than the First Blade from his back, grasping it tightly in his hand. “Your blood will be coated with this, so…any last words, sweetheart?”

 

No matter how terrifying Dean was at the moment, Jeri could not back down and clicked the safety off her gun. “Let’s dance.” Then she shot at him with Dean blocking the bullet with the First Blade, the fight officially on. “Anyone ever tell you how stupid it is to bring a knife to a gun fight?”

 

“Anyone ever tell you what it feels like when I GUT someone with this blade?” Dean grinned at her, blocking another shot that she aimed at his leg. “Is this the best you got, Jeri?  Come on, give me SOMETHING!  FIGHT!”

 

Jeri did not expect Dean to rush at her like an angry bull, her gun flying to the ground and flipped him over to where she was on top.  His strength was immense and she knew he would eventually overpower her. “I…won’t hurt you!” She gritted out, grunting when Dean rolled to where he was on top of her, completely distracted.

 

“Good, this’ll be easy then.” Dean punched her in the face, bloodying her nose. “This will be child’s play!” Another punch to the face, the other side, the other cheek.

 

“DEAN!”

 

Sam knew this was his only chance and kicked the First Blade right out of Dean’s hand, spraying holy water on him.  It was surreal watching the holy water actually burn his brother, which told Sam all he needed to know.  The video footage from the gas station attack hadn’t lied…Dean was a full-fledged Demon, thanks to the Mark of Cain.  Jeri hauled off, punching Dean as hard as she could, with brass knuckles, and it was enough to jar Dean.  He flew off Jeri and she scrambled to start cuffing him, Sam on his other side.

 

“STOP, IT’S OVER!!” Sam commanded in a growl, feeling Dean continue to struggle until the cuffs were completely on him.

 

Jeri stumbled up, her face quickly bruising and bloody from the beating she suffered, spitting blood out onto the ground.  She was sure a tooth or two was loose, but none of that mattered because they got what they came for.  Sam looked over at her while dragging Dean to the Impala, shoving him in the backseat before slamming the door shut.  He immediately went over to Jeri, cupping her face with his good hand and frowned at the damage Dean inflicted.

 

“I’m fine.” Jeri pulled away from him, her pain threshold higher than normal just because of her life as a hunter and spit more blood out onto the ground. “Come on, we gotta go.”

 

Sam frowned, watching her walk away to get into the Impala and followed suit, climbing behind the wheel with Dean sitting calm as a cucumber in the backseat.

 

“Sweetheart, you really should find a better line of business.  You’ve got too pretty of a face to be messed up.”

 

“Dean…”

 

“What Sammy, huh?  The truth hurt you too much?  You know what I’m gonna do when I’m out of these cuffs, don’t you?  I’m gonna slice and dice you both and enjoy every second of it.” Dean hissed out, tightening his fists while moving his wrists back and forth in the cuffs, his eyes moving to stare out the window.

 

“No you won’t.” Jeri spoke confidently, folding her arms in front of her chest and hissed out, not realizing she had a bruised rib. “Because you’re going to be cured and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

 

“And what happens if I’m not, my personal slut?  What happens if the purified blood doesn’t work?” Dean demanded, raising a brow when Sam and Jeri didn’t respond to him, so he kept going. “I have the Mark of Cain, and we don’t know how far and deep this curse goes.  You’re gonna use me as a guinea pig?”

 

“Looks like it.”

 

“And if it kills me?  You two okay with that?”

 

Jeri looked at Sam, a flash of worry filling her eyes because she didn’t know if this would work.  Dean wasn’t being possessed by a Demon like normal.  They were dealing with a very old, deadly curse that was hooked into Dean and had resurrected him after being killed.  There was no turning back now, however.  If Dean died, at least he would die AS Dean and not a monster.  Jeri could live with that, she hoped, and wondered if Sam felt the same way.

 

“It WILL work, now sit back and relax, Dean.” Sam refused to give up hope he could save his brother, no matter what and if this ritual didn’t work, they would find another way.

 

Like they always did.

 

~!~

 

Seeing Dean tied up in that chair, on that devil’s trap, with the demonic handcuffs, was a lot harder for Jeri than she thought it’d be.  All she wanted to do was release him, especially when Sam injected him with the first dose of purified human blood…and Dean’s reaction to it.  The true monster inside of him, what he’d become, was slowly showing its ugly mug and it scared the hell out of Jeri.  Still, she had to stay strong through this, no matter what, even if it was met with Dean’s death.

 

“Let me ask you this, Sammy,” Dean paused, trying to catch his breath after another injection to the back of the neck. “If this doesn’t work, we both know what you have to do to me, right?  YOU GOT THE STOMACH FOR THAT, SAM?!”

 

Sam couldn’t answer or look at him, instead walking out to leave Dean to himself for the time being.  The moment he opened the door, Jeri was standing there, leaning against the wall with her face half-bruised, a cut on her lower lip and her eye was swollen, but at least she could still see out of it.

 

“How is he?” She asked in a resigned voice, seeing the tears in Sam’s eyes and had her answer. “Why don’t you let me take the reins for a little while and get some air, Sam?”

 

“No, you don’t want to go in there.  You don’t wanna see him like this…” Sam didn’t want to put the burden on her and sighed when she placed a hand on his good shoulder.

 

“Sam, I can handle it.  You just gave him an injection, right?  So I have to wait an hour before administering another one?” Jeri waited for Sam to nod with great reluctance before heading inside, closing the door behind her and pulled the cart out to slip inside the hidden area.  The moment she saw him in that chair with those cold green eyes, Jeri’s heart broke all over again as he looked back at her.

 

“Well, well, look who it is!  The infamous Jeri Vallow, my biggest mistake.” Dean laughed out, shaking his head. “You know, you’ve looked better, sweetheart.  I roughed you up a little too much, eh?”

 

This was the Demon – the Knight of Hell – talking, not Dean, and Jeri knew better than to believe anything the monster said. “Sam needed some air, so you get to deal with your biggest mistake for a while.” She pulled up a stool to sit down and looked at the syringes of purified human blood, really wondering if it was possible to cure the demonization.

 

“I could think of worse company to have, I suppose.” Dean could still lay on the charm, even as a Knight of Hell, and grinned lasciviously at her. “Still won’t stop me from ripping you apart limb from limb once I get freed.”

 

His eyes were so cold, it broke Jeri’s heart, but she couldn’t let his words get to her.  He couldn’t touch her because he was completely tied up, so she walked over to stand behind him.  Baiting and trading insults wasn’t the answer.  This man was deeply broken and Jeri wanted to mend him from the inside out.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, only tight enough to show comfort instead of a threat.

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

“I’ve missed you so much, Dean.” Jeri murmured while holding him, resting her head gently on his. “I should’ve fought for you, I should’ve known something was going on you weren’t telling me.  And I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.” She murmured softly, quietly, ignoring the tension pouring forth from his body.

 

“Hmph, you’re sorry, huh?  How about you show me how sorry you really are then?” Dean suggested, staring straight ahead with a smirk curving his lips. “How about you undo these handcuffs, so I can show you how much I’ve missed you too?  It’s not fair for you to touch me and I can’t return the favor, sweetheart.”

 

Shutting her eyes, Jeri wanted nothing more than to do that.  To take those handcuffs off him and feel his touch once again. “Dean…” Her voice was full of both longing and hesitance, slowly removing her arms from around his neck.

 

“Come on, Jeri, you know you wanna feel my arms around you again.” Dean coaxed, looking up at her once she stood in front of him again, those ocean blues triggering something deep inside of him.  He immediately squashed it, his Demon side refusing to acknowledge what he just felt. “You wanna feel everything with me again.”

 

“You’re right, I do.  Can’t deny it.” Jeri admitted openly, placing her hands on his forearms while bending forward to where her nose nearly touched his.

 

“Then let me go and we’ll leave and go somewhere together.” Dean rumbled, his fingers twitching while his wrists remained bound to the chair in the Devil’s trap. “Come on, just you and me, sweetheart.  No time limit…”

 

“And that right there is how I know you’re NOT my Dean.” Jeri pulled away from him abruptly, glancing at her watch and grabbed one of the syringes along with holy water. “You see, my Dean would never say no time limit because he always puts the job first.  There’s no such thing as no time limits when you’re in this business and he knows that better than anyone.” Splashing Dean with some holy water, Jeri ignored his growl and injected the syringe into his forearm, stepping back to let the blood work its magic.

 

“YOU STUPID BITCH!!  I’LL END YOU!  I’LL SLICE AND DICE UNTIL THERE’S NOTHING LEFT!!” Demon Dean roared angrily, his head snapping left and right, his eyes glowing ebony. 

 

It felt like he was burning from the inside out and he was boiling in his own sweat.  His vision was blurry for a minute or two and then…Dean felt as if he could move.  He wasn’t sure why, but the power of the Devil’s trap, and the handcuffs, were weakening.  His eyes narrowed, knowing exactly what that meant and looked up at Jeri, gritting his teeth.  He was starting to turn human again, the Demon in him also weakening as well.  That was both a good and a bad thing because it meant his strength wasn’t up to par either.

 

“So, why don’t you tell me…” As Jeri spoke, she turned around to face Dean again and the words died on her lips at the sight of him standing from the chair. “How did you…?”

 

“Get out of the binds, the demonic handcuffs?” Dean tested the waters and stepped forward, right over the Devil’s trap to stand in front of her. “Looks like the human blood is working…to a point.” Then, he uppercut her, sending her flying back to crack her head against the edge of the table.

 

Jeri didn’t even have time to reach for a weapon or anything to defend herself as blood trickled from her forehead, adding to the other wounds and bruises she already had.  Dean looked down at her, tempted to waste her and be done with it.  Something stopped him, however.  Instead, he reached down, squatting, to check to see if she still had a pulse and then walked out, heading to the kitchen area of the bunker.  Sam was doing god knows what, so Dean decided to take advantage to get out of this hellhole once and for all.

 

“Jeri, how’s it going in there?” Sam tapped at the door before entering, his eyes widening at the sight before him. “Shit, Jeri!” He rushed over to her, seeing the cuffs on the ground in the Devil’s trap and Dean was nowhere to be found.  Did she let him out?  Sam quickly assessed the situation while checking her for a pulse, breathing a sigh of relief.  She was alive.  Dean didn’t kill her…and the Devil’s trap didn’t seem to be tampered with.  Sam had to go after him, to lock him back up, but first, he had to be armed.  He was a one-armed man, after all, and refused to face Dean without some kind of protection.

 

“Come on Sammy, let’s have a beer and talk about it!”

 

Jeri could hear Dean baiting Sam and groaned, her eyes slowly fluttering open while clutching her head.  Why didn’t Dean kill her?  That was her first thought as she slowly pushed herself up to at least be vertical instead of horizontal. “Son of a bitch…” She muttered, reaching up to make herself stand and pulled the gun out of her ankle holder.  Christ, there was no way she didn’t have a concussion, especially when she took one step and nearly tripped over her two feet. “Shit!”

 

“Jeri.”

 

Her eyes snapped up, relief flooding her body at the sight of the Winchester’s angel friend, Castiel.  She’d met him a time or two and couldn’t have been happier to see him, even with the circumstances. “C-Castiel…” He went to her side, pulling her up and cracked a small smile at him.

 

“You’re bleeding.”

 

“You don’t say.”

 

“Here.” Castiel pressed his two fingertips to her forehead, her wounds instantly healing, including the ones from her earlier fight with Demon Dean. “Better?”

 

“Y-Yeah…” Angels could heal people with a simple touch?  That was surreal in itself. “Thanks…”

 

“You are welcome.  Now where’s Dean?”

 

“Sammy!” Dean’s voice echoed from far away, both her and Castiel’s heads snapping to the doorway. “Come on, Sammy!”

 

The lights suddenly went out, the bunker going on lockdown and both Castiel and Jeri looked at each other before heading out of the room. “Stay close to me.  Dean is dangerous right now.  How did he escape?”

 

“H-He said something about the cuffs not working on him…that the human blood is working…” Why was he still attacking them then?  It didn’t make sense if the human blood was working enough to not use demonic handcuffs on him.

 

“We have to find him.”

 

Nodding, Jeri took the safety off her gun, feeling better than ever after Castiel’s touch and followed him out of the room. Where the hell is Sam?! Jeri thought, following Castiel down the hallway slowly and sincerely hoped the angel could see in the darkness. “Dean will be going for the power to turn the lights back on and unlock the doors.”

 

“Then that’s where we must go.”

 

“Lead the way, Castiel.”

 

Sam waited for Dean to creep into the power room, biding his time and had the keys in hand to lock the door.  The moment Dean turned the lights and power back on, Sam quickly slammed the door shut and locked it.  Jeri had just rounded the corner, seeing Sam holding a knife and could hear pounding on the door from the other side.

 

“Listen to me, Dean, we’re getting close, okay?  I know you’re still in there somewhere, just let me finish the treatments!”

 

Jeri didn’t make a sound, simply standing there with bated breath waiting to see what would happen. 

 

And then, Dean began hammering the door as hard as he could. “You act like I wanna be cured!” He hammered the door a few times, more wood flying as the door began to cave in. “Personally, I like the disease!”

 

“Dean, stop it, I don’t wanna use this blade on you!”

 

“Aww, that sucks for you because you really mean that!”

 

“Look, if you come outta that room, I won’t have a choice!”

 

“Sure you will, and I know which one you’ll make.  Isn’t that right, Sammy?” While talking almost cordially, Dean continued hammering the door, the pieces of wood splintering and flying out with each heavy blow.

 

Jeri’s heart jumped with each shot against that door and she had to say something, not able to bite her tongue any longer. “DEAN, STOP IT!  This is your brother!  What the hell is wrong with you?!”

 

“And here comes my favorite little slut, thinking she’ll save the day!” He hit the door again, now looking at both of them through the nearly destroyed wood. “I should’ve killed you when I had the chance, sweetheart.  Put you out of your misery!”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Jeri shot back, looking up at Sam, who had a terrified expression on his face.

 

“Here’s the thing, I’m lucky – hell, I’m BLESSED – because there’s just enough Demon left in me to kill you both!” Dean hammered the door a few more times and Sam took off with Jeri right behind him.

 

“SAMMY!  JERI!  I’m tired of playing!  Let’s finish this game!”

 

Sam and Jeri kept creeping down the hallway, her gun drawn and ready to shoot and Sam doing everything he could not to tremble the knife out of his hand.  He stopped, peaking around the corner and then turned back, only to nearly have his head taken off by Dean’s hammer.  Jeri let out a scream, also dodging and swallowed hard because Sam had the blade right against Dean’s throat.

 

“Do it.” Dean dared, the hammer still stuck in the wall just beside Sam’s head and his eyes locked on his brother’s. “It’s all you.”

 

Jeri was about to beg Sam not to do it, not to end Dean, when Castiel appeared from behind and grabbed Dean, his eyes glowing a bright blue.

 

“It’s over, Dean.  It’s over.” Castiel ordered, squeezing him tighter while Sam stumbled back a little and Jeri walked up to stand beside him. “It’s over.”

 

With Castiel’s help, Sam and Jeri managed to bind Dean again to the chair in the room on the Devil’s trap, taking extra precautions this time.  Sam injected another syringe into Dean’s arm, wincing at his arm because it was sore from his adrenaline kicking into high gear.  He set the syringe down, looking back at their angelic friend and then Jeri, seeing all of her wounds were gone.

 

“What the hell are we doing to him, Cas?  I mean, even after I gave him all of that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured.  That he didn’t want to be human.” Sam didn’t know what the right thing to do was anymore when it came to his brother and this wretched curse he’d taken on.

 

“Sam…”

 

“I can see his point.  Only humans can feel real joy.  Also such profound pain.  This is easier.” Castiel hated admitting it, but it was the truth. 

 

Dean had been through so much throughout his life, witnessed countless death, lost loved ones and still found a way to keep fighting, even when there was hardly anything left to fight for.  That was the type of man Dean Winchester was and Castiel didn’t blame him for choosing to be free of that horrid burden.  Still, they had to bring him back because Dean would never want to go out a monster.

 

“What are you…Sam, look!” Jeri pointed at Dean, who was slowly waking up after being temporarily knocked out by Castiel.

 

Dean rose his head, his eyes black as night and then…it began to fade and disintegrate right in front of them.  The ebony was replaced with deep green eyes…human eyes.  The monster, the Knight of Hell, had left Dean for the time being as Dean lowered his head, shaking it for a second and then looked back up, the softness and confusion clear as day in his eyes. 

 

“You look worried, fellas.” Dean’s voice had even changed, the worry in his tone and then his eyes fell on Jeri.  What the hell was she doing here in the bunker?

 

Sam and Castiel looked at each other before Sam splashed Dean with holy water and Dean blinked, the water no longer burning him like it had before. “Welcome back, Dean.” Sam smiled for the first time in what felt like ages, looking back at his big brother he had fought tooth and nail to save.

 

Dean was back. 

 

The blood ritual actually worked and Jeri was in momentary shock, not believing what she’d witnessed.  Dean had been a complete monster and now he wasn’t…all because of purified human blood.  She didn’t know what to do or think while Sam and Castiel untied Dean from the chair, the brothers instantly embracing.  Jeri felt like she was intruding, putting her gun away because there was no need for it at the moment.

 

“I’m sorry, Sammy.  I’m so sorry, man.”

 

“It’s all right, Dean.  Don’t worry about it, you would’ve done the same for me.” Pulling back, Sam placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed, tears in his eyes. “I’m just glad you’re back.”

 

Dean nodded, clearing his throat and finally turned to face the former love of his life, his ex-girlfriend, Jeri Vallow. “Jeri.” There were so many questions and not nearly enough answers. “Are you okay?”

 

“Never better, thanks to Castiel.” She smiled at the angel, nodding her thanks to him and he returned it. “Sam called me, told me what happened to you and I wanted to help bring you back.”

 

Sam wasn’t bothered by her honesty, knowing Dean would want to know why she was here after they hadn’t seen each other in six months. “Sam, why would you bring her into this?”

 

“It was my choice.  He just came to tell me what was going on.”

 

“Everything?”

 

“Everything, and we can talk about this later.  You need some rest after what you’ve been put through.” Jeri was running on fumes right now, even after being healed from Castiel.

 

“Jeri…”

 

“You won’t win this, babe, and you know it.  I can be just as stubborn as you.” Jeri squeezed his arm gently, her stomach rumbling with life due to hunger. “It’s been a long day, night, whatever it is outside, and I need some sleep.”

 

Sam was in agreement with her, but first, Dean needed to eat.  They all needed to eat and he needed to get out of the bunker for a bit of fresh air. “Jeri, please stay here.  I’ll run out and get everyone something to eat, something with high cholesterol, and then we can get some sleep and figure out what to do next.” His eyes moved to his big brother. “That all right with you?”

 

Jeri wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, but then Castiel informed them he had to take off for the time being now that Dean was back to normal again.  That would leave Dean here alone and Sam didn’t want him to be, not so soon after being cured. “I’m not going anywhere.” Jeri had moved her belongings from Dean’s room because Sam was convinced they’d have him back at some point within 24 hours.  She didn’t want to make things awkward with Dean since they weren’t together anymore.

 

“I need a shower, actually.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, wincing since Sam had jammed several needles into it with the blood ritual. “Shower, food and then bed.”

 

“Great!  I’ll be back soon and you two relax, get cleaned up.” Sam walked out, leaving Jeri and Castiel with Dean. 


Castiel walked out to follow Sam, needing a word with him.  Jeri went to walk out, but Dean grabbed her upper arm, stopping her. It’s Dean again, he won’t hurt you. Slowly, she turned to face him and looked up into his beautiful deep green eyes, so many different emotions flooding through her. “Dean…” Her eyes closed the moment his hand reached up to touch her face, the pad of his calloused thumb gliding across her cheek.  She leaned into it, relishing the feeling of his touch again and felt her eyes fill with tears, wanting nothing more than to toss her arms around him and never let go. Later, you said later and you need to stick to it.

 

“I hurt you bad, didn’t I?” He rumbled, complete remorse in his tone and frowned at the hot tears flowing over his fingers.

 

Jeri could feel him start to pull away and immediately clutched his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Not physically.  You know I can handle a beating and any kind of pain thrown at me.” Now wasn’t the time or place to have this discussion. “Come on, time for that shower.”

 

As much as Dean wanted to ask if they could do it together, he knew they had to have a talk first before anything intimate could happen.  Dean wouldn’t be surprised if Jeri told him to go back to Hell and leave her alone once everything settled down from saving him.  He followed her out of the room, both going their separate ways to get those showers.  Jeri stood under the hot water sprays, closing her eyes to let them flow down her body.  It had been a very long day, a long couple of days, actually.  No, scratch that.  It’d been seven long months and now…now she was here, in the bunker, in Dean’s life after he coldly walked away from her, from them. 

 

Jeri hadn’t taken the time to herself to process or cry over what happened while trying to capture and bring Dean back here.  The fight they had and how Dean brutalized her, nearly killing her.  It wasn’t Dean and she knew that, but it still didn’t change the fact he’d struck her down with his own hands.  Could she forgive and forget?  Could she move on and trust him with her heart again?  Having a breakdown in the shower was the best place to do it because nobody could hear her or see.  When it was done, she washed her hair and body before stepping out, wrapping a towel around her body.

 

Pull it together, don’t let him see you upset.  He’s been through enough. Jeri coached herself mentally, walking over to the sink to stare at her reflection in the mirror, pulling her small bag out to brush her teeth and hair. 

 

Then, she pulled some clothes out to change into, a simple pair of pajama pants and short-sleeved shirt.  Packing up her stuff, Jeri opened the door and headed to the room she was using, really needing a drink.  Or three.  Maybe four.  Hell, she could kill a fifth of whiskey by herself.  One thing about being a hunter was the ability to consume alcohol at an alarming rate and still be able to smite monsters.  Pushing her door open, Jeri froze at the sight of Dean sitting on her bed, waiting for her.

 

“Dean…”

 

He snapped out of whatever deep thoughts he was into and looked up at her, already freshly showered with a tumbler of whiskey in hand. “There you are.  I was about ready to come check on you and make sure you were okay.” He poured a second tumbler of whiskey, handing it to her. “Drink?”

 

Jeri tossed her bag to the side and took the tumbler from him, moving to sit on the bed next to him.  She took a long, hard gulp from the glass and then another, enjoying the burning sensation down her throat.  Finishing it, Dean poured her another round and this time, she took her time with it, just watching the liquid swirl around in the tumbler.

 

“So, you said later and it’s later now.  We’re showered and I think it’s time we had that talk, sweetheart.” Dean broke the silence between them, not even sure where to begin and glanced down at the mark on his arm – the Mark of Cain – the very thing that turned him into a Knight of Hell when he was killed.  A monster.  He had turned himself into a monster all for the sake of killing Abaddon, the last Knight of Hell. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

 

“How about from the beginning, Dean?” Jeri finally looked up at him, so many emotions swirling through her ocean blues. “From the moment you came to my apartment and ended things till now and how you got the Mark of Cain.”

 

“Jeri…”

 

“Don’t give me that crap about TRYING to protect me either.  I don’t need a damn savior.  I deserve to know the truth after everything that’s happened.” Jeri took another sip, trying like hell not to let her anger seep through her tone, but it was hard to do. “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk.  If ANYONE can understand the life you live and the burden you carry, it’s me.  Why would you push me away when you needed me the most?  What made you think I couldn’t handle it?”

 

“Because I didn’t know what the hell this thing would do to me and look what happened!” Dean snapped, standing up from the bed and drained his tumbler before refilling it. “Look what I did to Sammy, to you, to all those innocent people…” He turned his back to her, draining the tumbler again and shut his eyes that were quickly filling with tears. “How can you even look at me right now, Jeri?”

 

“All that stuff that happened wasn’t you.  That was the Knight of Hell born from that damn mark on your arm.  It wasn’t YOU.” Jeri stood up, setting her own tumbler down and turned him around by the arm, forcing Dean to look at her in the eyes. “It wasn’t YOU.  Beating me down, fighting me…it wasn’t you and I know that, and you need to believe that.” Cupping his face with her small hands, Jeri did her best not to start crying, but the tears in her eyes showed him all the pain she was in emotionally and mentally. “You would never hurt me like that.  You would never kill innocent people either or play with them like toys.”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“Yes I do.”

 

“Jeri, I’m a killer and…”

 

“No you’re not.” Jeri refused to believe that, pressing her forehead to his after standing on her toes to reach him. “If you were a killer, I wouldn’t be here right now.  I wouldn’t have helped Sam bring you back here to cure you.  And I damn sure wouldn’t be standing here right now, touching you or letting you touch me.  We wouldn’t be talking if you were a killer, Dean.  And I…” She made the mistake of not telling him the night he ended things with her how she truly felt.  That mistake would not be made again. “I wouldn’t be in love with a killer either.  I wouldn’t love you, okay?  So obviously, you can’t be a killer or a monster.”

 

Dean’s green eyes widened at the words that came out of her mouth, slowly shaking his head. “Jeri, no…”

 

“Yes.  I tried telling you the night you ended things between us, but you wouldn’t let me.  I think you knew then, so I don’t know why you’re so surprised now.” Jeri took a chance and softly kissed him, moving her hands to his broad shoulders before wrapping her arms around his neck when Dean returned it. 

 

He tasted the same, even with the whiskey, and it lit her blood on fire.

 

The last woman Dean tried having a relationship with ended up with the King of Hell, Crowley, kidnapping her and her son.  Lisa and Ben.  Dean had to ask Castiel to wipe their memories, so they would never remember him, after the angel saved Lisa’s life.  She would have died without Castiel healing her, thanks to a Demon possession.  He did it to keep them safe and out of his world, his dark and dangerous hunter life.  His life would end at the end of a blade or barrel of a gun and he made peace with that fact long ago.  However, Jeri was different.  She’d been a hunter her whole life, didn’t have any children, and could handle herself with a monster.  Was it possible to have a meaningful, healthy, happy relationship with another hunter, who lived the same life he did? 

 

Dean already knew how he felt about Jeri and it was love…far deeper than it’d been with Lisa.  The connection with Jeri was a lot stronger, deeper, and Dean knew it was because they lived the same life.  He did love Lisa and Ben, but a big part of him had gone to them simply because he thought he’d lost Sam after saving the world from the apocalypse.  Sam made him promise to find Lisa and Ben and have a happy, normal, apple pie life, to get out of the hunting business and Dean tried.  For one year, he tried to be normal, average, and even had a regular job with actual paychecks every other week.  However, no matter how hard he tried, the hunting world found him eventually and Dean realized he’d never be able to escape this life. 

 

Once a hunter, always a hunter.

 

Slowly pulling back, breaking the kiss, Jeri opened her eyes the same time Dean did, both breathing more raggedly than before. “I’m not leaving you and you’re not pushing me away again.”

 

“But the mark…”

 

“What about it?” Jeri slid the pad of her thumb across his slightly swollen lips and then reached down to grab his wrist before sliding his fingers up his forearm to touch the mark. “I’m in love with the whole package, Dean.  Including baggage, and that’s all this is.  Baggage.  We all have baggage and guilt and have felt pain and heartache.  But we also love and are allowed to be happy.  And you make me happy.  ALL of you.”

 

“Jeri…your life…”

 

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want to be with me.  Tell me you don’t feel the same way, that you don’t love me.  You do that and I’ll walk right out that door and you’ll never see me again.” Jeri challenged, not letting him go or stepping back, waiting to see what he would say next. “And my life is always in danger, with or without you in it.  That’s the way a hunter lives and you know it.  We’re constantly in danger.  And if you go dark side again, I’ll pull you back with Sam, just like we did this time.  So unless you have another legitimate reason to push me away that doesn’t involve my life or my safety, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

There was no way in hell Dean could tell her any of that or that he didn’t love her. “I’m just trying to keep you safe, Jeri.  If anything happens to you because of me…”

 

“It won’t.” She assured him, feeling his strong arms wrap around her waist to pull her closer and Jeri continued holding his forearm with her hand while the other slid from his shoulder to his face. “Now stop trying to push me away and tell me how you really feel.  I deserve to know what’s in your heart, Dean, because you know what’s in mine now and how I feel.”

 

Dean knew if he did this, if he told her how he felt, there was no going back or changing it.  There was no walking away from her.  He could lie right now.  He could tell her there was nothing between them, there never was and completely shred her verbally to make her leave.  This was the time to do it, his one shot, if he wanted Jeri out of his life forever.  Lisa and Ben were normal civilians that didn’t know a lick about this way of life.  Jeri did and was raised into the hunter life just like him and Sam, so she knew all the risks that came with this relationship. Only now was Dean realizing what he’d done, what he put her through, all for the sake of trying to protect her and she didn’t need it.

 

“Damn it, I’m such a dick, sweetheart.” Dean released her, needing another drink and refilled her own tumbler that was empty.

 

“Yeah you are, but you also do things from the heart.  A monster and killer wouldn’t do that.” Jeri took a sip of her whiskey, seeing Dean was wrestling with his emotions over this and simply sat on the bed, waiting patiently for him to sift through them. “Take as much time as you need, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“I’m not good with talking about this kinda thing.” Dean admitted, lowering beside her on the bed and took a swallow of whiskey, needing some liquid courage.

 

She smiled at him, reaching over to place her hand on his pajama pant covered thigh and squeezed gently. “Like I said, take your time.  But if you lie to me in any way, I’m going to sock you right in your nose and break it.  Fair warning, Winchester.”

 

Dean cleared his throat, really not wanting a broken nose after being cured of demonization. “Noted.” He rubbed the tumbler back and forth on his forehead, feeling her hand on his shoulder to start rubbing it. “You really think a hunter is capable of happiness?”

 

“With another hunter, yes.  If a hunter tries to have a relationship outside of that, with a normal person that doesn’t understand what exactly they do, absolutely not.” Dean never told her about his past relationships and Jeri didn’t bother asking.  He gave her the same courtesy. “I think WE’RE very capable of happiness, Dean.  But you have to give us a chance and stop being overprotective.  You have to give YOURSELF a chance to be truly happy.”

 

“Okay.” Dean rubbed his forehead with his fingers, trying to find the right words to say. “Then I want it to be with you.” He looked at Jeri, his brazen, beautiful ex and felt himself getting lost in her eyes. “I want to be happy with you, Jeri.”

 

“You do?  Really?”

 

“Yeah.  Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” Dean decided actions spoke far louder than words and pulled her gently but firmly to straddle his lap, being mindful not to spill their drinks. “You make me happy and it scares me.  I don’t get close to a lot of people because of this line of work.” For good reason, everyone he’d ever known and cared about, besides his brother, was dead or on the verge of dying being associated with him. “If anything happens to you…”

 

Jeri shut him up by kissing him passionately, not breaking it until they both needed to come up for air. “I love you, now say it back and be done with it.  Stop thinking you’re going to lose me or something is going to happen to me.  You’re not cursed.”

 

“Feels like it.”

 

“You’re not, Dean.” She pressed her forehead to his, caressing the back of his neck and brushed her lips to his tenderly. “Stop fighting, please.  Just tell me how you feel.  Say it.”

 

Dean shut his eyes, tightening his arm around her and drained his tumbler before setting it on the bed away from them.  His eyes opened and all the fight flooded from his body while staring at the beautiful woman on his lap, professing her love for him despite everything he did.  What he became.  Was she right?  Could they be happy being in this life together?

 

“If you already know how I feel, why do I gotta say it out loud?”

 

“Because it wasn’t easy for me to say it to you in the first place, and I wanna make sure you feel the same way I do before this goes any further.” Jeri knew this was very difficult for Dean to do, to speak from his heart, but she was determined to break through all the walls he’d put up. “Is it really that hard to say it to me?”

 

“A little, yeah.”

 

Every person Dean loved and cared about, besides his brother, was either dead or he walked away from them.  He always lost them, one way or another and his fear was losing her one day.  Opening up his heart the way she wanted him to…it went against Dean’s very nature and every instinct.  Still, he knew deep down how he felt about Jeri, cracking a small smile before pulling her in for another deep, sensual kiss.

 

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Dean rumbled once the kiss broke, rubbing his nose against hers and felt the biggest weight lift from his shoulders. “And now that I’ve had a chick-flick moment, we need to discuss something else.”

 

“I thought we were having a discussion already.”

 

“Fine, then let’s continue and going forward, you’re staying here from now on.” Dean wasn’t giving her an option, refusing to let her stay in that crappy apartment that didn’t have a lot of security.

 

Jeri raised a brow at him, wondering if he was serious. “You’re asking me to move into the bunker with you and Sam?”

 

“No.  I’m telling you that’s what you’re doing.  It’s the only way I can make sure you’re protected when you’re not out on the road hunting.” Dean reasoned, knowing he should’ve asked her to move in instead of demand it, but that wasn’t how he operated. “Look, I screwed up things between us and I wanna make it up to you.”

 

“But…moving in here so soon?” Jeri was taken aback by Dean’s command, not sure how to feel about it and could tell how serious he was about this. “Dean…”

 

“You can have your own room, okay?  I’m not asking you to shack up with me or whatever.  I’m asking you to stay in the bunker with us, so you’re safe and have backup.” Dean buried his face in her neck and stood up, turning to plant her on the bed with him hovering over her. “I want you here with me, Jeri.  Period.”

 

What was the point in fighting him? “Okay.” Dean pulled back from teasing her neck to stare down at her, his eyes slightly wide in both disbelief and wonder. “What’s that look for?”

 

“Okay?  Just like that?”

 

Jeri couldn’t help giggling at him, shrugging her shoulders and caressed his face with her hands. “We love each other and we have a lot of time to make up for too.” I can help keep his dark side in check too. “I also know when I’m fighting a losing battle.  So okay, I’ll move into the bunker.”

 

“Well, that was…”

 

“Under one condition.”

 

Dean raised a brow this time. “Which is?”

 

“You have to get Sam’s permission first.  This is just as much his home as it is yours and the last thing I wanna do is intrude on you guys.” She pressed a finger to his lips, shaking her head. “This is NOT up for negotiation, babe.”

 

“You know Sam won’t care, right?  You’re one of us…”

 

“I don’t care, it’s still the right thing to do.”

 

“All right, all right, fine we’ll do it your way.  Sam won’t say no, though.” Dean assured her, knowing his little brother better than anyone and decided a new change of topic was in order.

 

A knock on the door interrupted them and it was Sam with delicious food, both of their stomachs rumbling with life. 

 

Dean hopped off the bed and walked over to answer the door, leaving Jeri to push herself up into a sitting position. “Come on, Jeri, let’s go have a meal with Sammy.”

 

“Okay.” Jeri joined them, all three walking out of Dean’s room towards the kitchen area to sit down for their meal. “Thank you for going out, Sam.  You’ve gotta be exhausted.”

 

“Yeah, but in a good way.” Sam smiled, clapping his brother on the shoulder and was thankful to have him back. 

 

They sat down at the table to start eating.  Sam looked at her and Dean sitting beside each other and could not wipe the smile from his face, no matter what else had happened.  Dean was happy with her and he’d never seen his brother as peaceful as he was in this moment.  Not even when he was with Lisa and Ben for the year Dean thought he was locked up in Lucifer’s cage in Hell.

 

“Jeri, there’s something I need to say to you.” Sam saw the hesitance enter her eyes instantly and kept the smile on his face. “You are more than welcome to stay here as long as you want to.  I couldn’t have saved Dean without you and I owe you.  WE owe you.  You’re a hell of a hunter and a great friend, and thank you is not enough.  It’ll never be enough.”

 

Blinking at how sincere Sam sounded, she slowly slid her eyes over to Dean, who had stopped eating his cheeseburger that was halfway gone, before looking back at Sam. “Well, aren’t you the charmer, Sam Winchester?” She set her own burger down, taking a sip of beer. “You don’t owe me a damn thing.  I got what I wanted out of the deal.” Sliding her hand along Dean’s jean covered thigh, Jeri squeezed and felt his hand lace with her fingers. “And as far as staying here goes, well, you must be a mind reader because Dean is insistent on me moving in and I told him I wouldn’t without your consent.  Sounds like I got it.”

 

Now it was Sam’s turn to blush. “Yeah, you got it.  And uh, I’m happy for you guys.  Really.”

 

“Chick flick moment over?  Yeah?  Good, time to finish eating.” Dean was smirking, winking at his woman and nodded at his baby brother to acknowledge and thank him for what he said.

 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m gonna take a fifth to my room and get stone cold drunk.” Sam stood up, gathering his garbage from dinner and headed to the kitchen to throw it away, leaving Dean and Jeri alone.

 

“You really do have an amazing brother.”

 

Dean nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly and didn’t know how he’d ever repay Sam for what he did, for bringing him back. “Yeah…” He cleared his throat, taking a long swig of beer and then settled his gaze on her completely. “By the way, I told you so.”

 

She rolled her eyes, chuckling softly and finished her own beer. “Yeah, yeah, bet you just love getting that out, don’t you?”

 

“I call’ em like I see’ em, sweetheart.”

 

“Yeah you do.”

 

Jeri stood up, leaning down to kiss his forehead and cleaned up their garbage from dinner, just like Sam did earlier with his.  Dean followed and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind as soon as she tossed the trash away, his lips softly kissing the pulse point on her neck.  She smiled, her eyes drifting shut and shivered when Dean hit the sweet spot on her neck that turned her to jelly.  Turning, their lips met in a passionate kiss, her arms encircling his neck as Dean pressed her against him, lifting her just like he had earlier.

 

“Your room, not here.” Jeri murmured against his lips before hers trailed down his strong jaw to his neck while Dean carried her to his room.

 

Kicking the door shut, Dean gently set her down on her feet to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.  Jeri’s mouth watered at the sight of his bare chest, his anti-Demon tattoo only making him sexier, if that was possible.  Taking her own shirt off, Jeri reached behind to unhook her bra and smirked at the groan that escaped Dean’s lips.  She pushed her shorts and panties off next, kicking them to the side before crawling back on the bed, sitting back on her haunches to devour him with her eyes.

 

“Like what you see?”

 

“No, I LOVE what I see.” Jeri retorted, pulling the tie out of her hair to let it cascade down her back in soft, chestnut waves.

 

Dean always did love seeing her hair down, thinking it was extremely sexy.  Hell, everything about this woman was incredible from head to toe. “The feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.”

 

Completely naked, Dean joined her on the bed and pushed her down to hover over her, their lips colliding and Jeri relished the feeling of their naked bodies pressed together.  Everything was right with the world again now that she was back with Dean.  He settled between her thighs, nestling himself while they’re tongues continued dancing together.  No matter what obstacles came at them, they would leap over them and keep going, keep living, and be happy together. 

 

Dean rolled to where she was on top, straddling him and the kiss never broke, both completely consumed in each other.  Needing oxygen to breathe, Jeri pulled back to break the kiss and moved down his jaw to his neck and chest, beginning to trace his anti-Demon tattoo.  She planned on doing the same thing to the Mark of Cain, wanting to prove to Dean with action it did not bother her.  Dean watched her, enjoying the pampering session, but when she got to his arm, the Mark of Cain, he tensed and Jeri felt it.  She looked up at him, her eyes locked on his, and began tracing the mark, like she did with his tattoo, not stopping until she felt Dean relax.

 

“I meant what I said, Dean.  I love all of you, flaws, marks and all.” Jeri moved back up the length of his body and she squealed when Dean turned the tables, planting her on her back again. “No foreplay, eh?”

 

“Not this time.  It’s been too long, Jeri.” Just to prove how serious he was, Dean hiked her leg up and probed her sex with the tip of his hardened cock, hissing out at how good her juices felt alone. “Damn…”

 

“Dean…” Jeri gasped out in a breathless moan, clinging to his broad muscular shoulders and completely opened herself up to him. 

 

Total surrender.  Only to him would she ever surrender everything.  Her mind, body, heart, and soul – all of it, every piece.  She did it the moment they first met and when she threw herself at him after he saved her life.  It was cliché ending up with the man who saved her, but at the same time, Jeri wouldn’t want it any other way.  It’d been a long seven months without the touch of him and sex in general.  After Dean left her, Jeri wanted nothing to do with sex and intimacy, not interested in the slightest and threw herself into work.  It was a miracle Sam caught her home when he came to tell her about Dean.  She was about ready to hit the road again when he showed up, telling her what happened to the love of her life and Jeri couldn’t turn her back on him.  She had to do what she could to help, to bring him back, even if it meant her own life.  Luckily, here she was now, in the throes of passion with Dean once again, instead of being burned on a wooden altar in a hunter’s funeral.

 

Her eyes nearly rolled in the back of her head as Dean slid past her wet, tight folds, sinking himself as deep inside of her as he possibly could.  Fully sheathed.  Her heart was thundering in her ears, her pulse racing and the burning sensation from being completely filled to capacity, radiated throughout every part of her body, every speck.  They both froze while staring into each other’s eyes, their breathing heavy and their hearts pounding as one.  Jeri took his hand, lacing their fingers together and cried out softly at the first movement of his cock pulling out and then thrusting back inside her hot depths.

 

“Dean!”

 

His thrusts came sharp and almost violent, but Jeri held on for dear life, clinging to him, succumbing to his strength and everything he gave.  It still felt amazing, even with the harshness.  Part of her knew why too.  It was the Mark of Cain fueling him, making everything so much more powerful, even sex.  Jeri met him for every thrust, moaning and crying out uncontrollably, her body trembling beneath his.

 

“I love you, I love you so much, Dean…” She breathed into his ear and watched as his head lifted to look down at her, resting his forehead against hers.

 

He was trembling and she could feel the sharpness of his thrusts lessen with every second that passed by.  That was it.  Jeri captured his mouth in a soft, passionate kiss, enjoying the pace they were at now.  Rough sex was all well and fine, she enjoyed it as much as any woman, but she also wanted this reunion to mean something since they both dropped the L bomb on each other.  They rolled with her on top now, his cock still pulsating inside of her and Dean looked up at her, those green eyes of his smoldering.

 

“Ride me, sweetheart…” Dean ordered in a low, gritty voice, his calloused hands gripping her hips as she began moving back and forth, obeying his command. “That’s it…that’s my girl…”

 

“Only yours.” Jeri dug her nails into his chest, rolling her hips and felt Dean thrust up to meet her, their bodies moving in sync together. “Oh god…” Soon enough, she was bouncing on and off him, gripping her hair while Dean fondled her breasts, pinching her nipples and rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers.

 

It was time to finish this dance.  She stopped and turned around to be on all fours in front of him, feeling Dean come up behind her.  Their favorite position – the one they normally fell into pure and utter ecstasy with.  Jeri practically purred, feeling his hand wrap around her throat to bring her up to align their bodies together, her back pressed against his chest.  She lulled her head back against his shoulder as he pumped in and out of her, slow as first and then gradually picked up the pace.  He wasn’t nearly as rough with her as when they began, but still hard enough to hit her sweet spot with every thrust.  Cutting her air supply off temporarily only made her gush around him, her eyes closing to relish every second of this.  Who knew when they’d have time like this together in the future?  Jeri never wanted it to end, trying like hell to hold back her climax as long as possible, just so Dean had to keep going.

 

“Stop holding back…” Dean growled in her ear, feeling her fighting it off and he moved his hand from her throat to her hair, gripping it tightly in his fingers. “Cum all over me, Jeri…”

 

“No…” Jeri turned her head as Dean captured her mouth, his thrusts driving deeper and harder in and out of her, forcing her to submit to him. “Dean, please!”

 

“Fighting me is pointless and you know it, Jeri.” Dean chuckled huskily in her ear, sweat coating both of their bodies and he felt her trembling against him.  It wasn’t out of fear either.  It was desire, pure and unbridled…the best kind. “I love you…”

 

“God Dean, me too…me too…” Jeri panted out, shutting her eyes to let the ecstasy completely wash over her from head to toe, her climax triggering. “DEAN!”

 

“DAMN, JERI!” Dean roared out, his own climax crashing over him and held her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck while continuing to ride out their colliding orgasms.

 

Collapsing on the bed, Jeri couldn’t remember the last time she was this breathless and spent of energy…and completely satisfied.  It felt like she was whole again.  Dean dropped down next to her and immediately pulled her to roll into him, her head on his chest.  They both lay together in silence for a while and, just when Dean thought Jeri had fallen asleep, she spoke up.

 

“I love you.  And we’re going to get through this together.” She slid her hand down to touch the Mark of Cain, stroking it affectionately. “You have to lean on me, Dean.  I know it’s not easy for you to do, but you can’t shut me out.” Looking up at him, Jeri slid the pad of her thumb across his lips and cheek, snuggling even closer to him. “Don’t shut me out, promise me?”

 

Dean could hear the slight strain in her voice and knew he had to make this promise, even if he couldn’t keep it in the end. “Okay, all right…” Leaning down, he captured her mouth in a soft, heated kiss, pulling her closer to him again and could feel his body come alive already. “I love you too, Jeri, just so you know…”

 

Gasping at the feeling of his cock filling her to capacity again, Jeri’s eyes slid shut and she clutched Dean, held onto him, refusing to ever let him go again as they soared to heights only they could reach together.

 

No matter what the future held, one thing was certain.  What started out as a reciprocity between them had blossomed into something much more and it was worth fighting for…until they no longer could.

 

The End.