Worth Saving
Chapter 1
Billie was sitting in the huge conference room as
nothing but a bundle of nerves. A hand touched her arm as she turned to look at
who was touching her…the blue eyes belonged to her new bosses daughter,
Stephanie McMahon.
Stephanie said, “Don’t worry Billie; they are all going to love you.” Billie
smiled half heartedly and said, “Oh you think so huh? I’m glad one of us has
such great insight into the future.” Steph stifled a laugh and said, “C’mon
you’re brother won’t let anything happen to his baby sister.”
Billie scoffed and said, “Then you obviously don’t know my brother as well as
you think you do.” Steph waved her left hand in front of Billie’s face showing
off the diamond rock that adorned her left ring finger since getting engaged to
Billie’s brother and said, “I think I know your brother as well as you.”
Billie quirked an eye brow at Stephanie and said, “Really? When did you first
find out he had a younger sister…Before or after you started dating?” Steph
said, “After.” Billie smirked sarcastically and said, “Before or after you got
engaged?” Steph put her head down and had suddenly become more interested in
her shoes and said, “After.” Billie said, “Welcome to my world.” Stephanie
said, “When’s the last time you saw him?”
Billie sighed as people started filing into the conference room and she said,
“I haven’t seen Paul for 5 years…And that was my choice, I decided after the
last fight we had I wasn’t going to be there anymore for him to yell at…So I
left. I’d lived in New Hampshire my whole life…Granted from 17 to 20 it was in
an apartment on my own…I just decided one night I’d had enough…I packed all my
shit in 2 days and went over and told mom, dad and Lynn and just left. And
because Paul and I have never been really close, I didn’t even know he was
seeing someone…Let alone seeing someone he was serious enough about to get
engaged too…The only reason I found out was because Lynn told me…And it’s only
because I saw the wedding invitation.”
Stephanie said, “How long have you guys been like this to each other?” Billie
said, “Oh since I was 15…I made the mistake of getting into a minor fender
bender in his Camero and he freaked out…So basically we’ve not had a real
conversation in 10 years. I guess I’m the black sheep of the family.”
Stephanie’s eyes were as big as potatoes and she said, “10 years? Over a little
bumper damage? Jeez, tell me you were drunk or…on drugs…or…I don’t
know…something.” Billie said, “I wish it was something that stupid…but at 15, I
wasn’t too much into the party scene…We’ve done nothing but fight for the last
10 years of my life.”
Vince McMahon walked into the conference room and shortly behind him her
brother…The infamous Cerebral Assassin of World Wrestling Entertainment…The
Game himself…Paul Levesque.
Now most brothers and sisters are pretty happy to see each other
right….especially after not seeing each other for 5 years? Right. Lots of
hugging and tons of I missed yous and I love yous…Not Paul and Billie…Not by a
long shot.
Chapter 2
Paul sat down at the conference table; he looked
over at his fiancé and saw his younger sister…She’d just recently been signed
to the company as a Diva…Apparently she’d been a pretty good wrestler in UPW
and made quite an impression on Stephanie when she’d seen her at OVW…She’d come
back and told Vince about it and he handed over the contract immediately and
asked her to have it signed.
Paul could only scowl when he thought of his younger sister…Responsibility
wasn’t a high priority on her list of things to have in life.
Vince started the meeting and said, “I’d like everyone’s attention
please…Billie would you mind joining me up here?” The 25 year-old shock her
head no and stood and walked up to the front of the conference table and stood
next to Vince.
Vince said, “I’d like everyone to meet Billie Jordana, she got her start at UPW
and transferred to OVW and Stephanie spotted her and we signed her…She’s the
newest Diva…She’s got some really great talent. I want you all to make sure you
make her feel welcomed in our family.”
Billie could feel her brother’s mad dog ass glares boring into her…Her skin
felt like it was on fire…Yup…It was definitely Paul who was glaring at her.
A pair of soft blue eyes were staring at the 5’9…Maybe 5’10 brunette…She was
around 125lbs…her long ash brown hair was waist length and her blue eyes had a
few secrets hidden behind them. His blue eyes watched as she made her way
across the room and back over to Stephanie McMahon and watched as they resumed
what ever conversation they were having before Vince had interrupted them.
He felt someone tap his arm as he looked over at his stable co-worker Paul.
Paul said, “Are you ready for your match Randy?” Randy nodded his head and
said, “It’s not a problem…I’ve been working on it with Rob a lot…We’ve got
every thing down to a science. Paul nodded and said, “Okay…As long as you’re
both prepared and you know what you’re going to be doing in that ring tonight.”
Randy couldn’t help but let his mind and eyes wonder back over to the brunette.
Billie…Her name was beautiful…And her secrets meant nothing if she was a good
lay. He watched as her eyes seemed to of found his…He watched as she pursed her
lips together and made a face at him…He wasn’t sure if it was her way of
inviting him to talk with her or not.
Randy watched as Billie and Stephanie got up and walked out of the room and
disappeared down the hallway.
Randy was sitting in his locker room thinking about Billie…Her perfect ass…Her
perky breasts…He could feel an erection starting to make itself present…He
picked up a towel and his wrestling trunks and decided to get himself ready in
a nice cold shower and worry about getting in Billie’s panties later…
…If she even wore any.
Chapter 3
It had been a few weeks since Billie had started
in the company…She’d become fast friends with Glenn Jacobs, also known as
Kane…Only because she was his dominatrix handler…at least that’s what they were
calling her…She’d walk Glenn to the ring with a riding whip in her hand that
she would periodically snap him with…Just in random body parts, thigh, bicep,
across the chest or ass…Where ever the script basically called for.
She’d also become fast friends with Stephanie…who was still trying to
understand the loath/hate relationship that Paul and Billie had between them.
They hardly spoke 5 words to each other in a 3 week span…apparently ignoring
each other was the least they could honestly do.
Stephanie finally had Billie sitting down one night after Glenn’s match was
over and Paul and been shoved out the curtain for his…and she knew it would be
a while…And asked what they’d been fighting about for 10 years.
Billie said, “Well…” And sighed heavily trying to figure out how to approach
the whole subject. Steph said, “C’mon it can’t be that bad…It was just a bent
fender.” Billie said, “Yea…And to a guy who takes everything in life serious…It
was more then just a bent fender…”
Billie sighed again as she ran her fingers through her hair and said, “Our
older sister Lynn was pregnant with her first child, mom and dad were out of
town…Paul had just graduated college and until he could afford his own place
was living back home with us…Lynn’s husband happen to be out of town on
business, but due back any minute…mom and dad were due back that night too…Paul
had decided him and his buddies were going to re-live their high school days
and had decided to go get drunk at his friends house…Which meant he left his
car at home…which is something he always did when deciding to drink.”
Steph looked at the monitor and watched her fiancée throw a smaller wrestler
around the ring before turning back to Billie and said, “Responsibly enough.”
Billie nodded and said, “Right…Always has been…Always will be…Lynn called me
around 3 am and said her water had broke and she was trying to wait but
couldn’t…Paul wasn’t home yet, Mom and Dad weren’t home and Lynn’s husband was
soon to be home…Mom and dad’s vehicle was at the airport waiting for them…For
all obvious reasons Lynn couldn’t get behind the wheel…Since I didn’t have my
drivers license yet, I didn’t have a car…And Paul’s car was the only thing at
the house with the spare key hanging on the hook…It was a snap decision…but it
had to be made…I took the key and drove it to Lynn’s and drove her to the
hospital.”
Stephanie said, “I think that was a damn good decision.” Billie looked sullen
and said, “Yea…Me too.” Steph said, “Paul didn’t think so?” Billie shook her
head no and said, “Definitely not.”
Billie could remember all the details like it were yesterday as she said, “I
parked in the Emergency Room / Ambulance Bay entrance and helped Lynn
inside…Some Ambulance came flying around the corner and by the time he’d seen
the fire engine red Camero, it was too late and rear-ended it. 5 minutes later
and I would’ve been in the car moving it. Or in this case 10 minutes earlier
and it would’ve hurt me, Lynn and the baby still inside of her.”
Billie scowled and said, “That precious Camero was Paul’s pride and joy from
his freshman year of high school to his college graduation…Mom & dad showed
up finally and dad had the camero towed back to the house…And even though it
was the Ambulance drivers fault and Paul had insurance on the car to get it
fixed…He made me pay for the damages because it should’ve never been taken
without his permission or without me having a license. I used all the money I’d
saved up for college which was considerable since our grandma and grandpa had
died and left us a lot of inheritance…Paul used his to buy his car and then
used mine to have it repaired.”
Billie could feel the pain coming back and continued, “I was saving mine for
college tuition…I knew it was going to be expensive and I definitely wasn’t
getting any scholarship like Paul had…So I had to work 3 different little bum
ass jobs my sophomore, junior and senior years to make up for the money…but
even then it wasn’t enough…I didn’t go to college until I was 20…Ever since that
stupid fender bender with his precious little car…nothing has been the same
between us…”
All the painful words that had been exchanged between the two kept replaying in
Billie’s mind…She wiped away a few stray tears when Steph wasn’t paying
attention and said, “It’s always one extreme or the other…Constantly fighting
or constantly ignoring each other…There’s never been a happy moment between us
in 10 years…Hell he didn’t even show up to my high school or College
graduations…but he did manage to show up at every one else’s in our family…all
our cousins who were younger then me…All of them boys/girl, cousins he knew,
cousins he didn’t know…didn’t matter he would show up…we’d fight I’d leave,
he’d stay.”
Stephanie said, “What other choice were you given?” Billie said, “I’m not
sure…But obviously I chose the wrong one.” Stephanie watched as Billie stood
and walked down the hallway towards the Diva’s locker room.
Paul walked up and seen his sister walking away and said, “What does that pest
want?” Steph looked at her fiancée and said, “Something you can’t give her.”
Paul watched as Stephanie walked away and he said, “What?”
Chapter 4
After Billie had showered the other Diva’s had
invited her out to the club for a little drinking, dancing and man bashing! Just
what they all needed. Since the Smackdown roster was in town as well for the
weekend PPV – Pay Pre-View, the Smackdown Diva’s were also out with them…
Billie had just downed her 15th shot of Tequila and was starting to get a
little light headed when the Diva’s heard a loud noise coming from the entrance
of the club…They all looked over and it was a bunch of the younger guys from
Raw and Smackdown…They’d apparently picked the same club to party at with the
girls.
Billie was standing with Trish, Stacy, Ashley and Melina. Melina made a
clicking noise with her tongue and said, “Ey Billie…someone seems to be
throwing some wicked stares at you girl.” Billie looked at Melina and she
tossed her head to the side as Billie looked over she saw John Cena sitting with
Randy Orton and a few other guys at a table. His Boston Red Sox cap was pulled
to the side slightly. He was also sporting a Boston red Sox jersey buttoned,
and some cargo jean shorts, and of course his sneakers.
Billie smirked a little as she agreed with Melina about needing another shot.
John watched the brunette with the legs…She had on red cargo capri’s, a
matching cotton t-shirt that had pockets on the sleeves, white and red ankle
socks with red sneakers. Her long hair was flowing behind her and when she
smirked towards him he nearly came unglued. John had heard about the new Diva
over at Raw…but he couldn’t imagine what she’d look like until that moment.
John watched as the girls all received another round of shots from the
bartender…He watched as the new Diva wet the tip of her finger in the glass of
alcohol and brushed it on her bottom lip and then placed the glass on the
corner of her mouth and rolled it to the center of her bottom lip with her
index and middle finger, downed the liquid and rolled the shot glass off her
bottom lip and popped the glass off to the side and caught it with her other
hand.
John finally got up and walked over and stood in front of the girls…Melina
smirked and said, “Something we can help you with John?” John locked eyes with
the new Diva and said, “We haven’t been properly introduced yet…I’m…” Before he
could finish his sentence Billie said, “John Cena…Better know around UPW as
Prototype.” She winked at him.
Melina said, “John, this is Billie Jordana…She’s the new Diva on Raw…But I’m
pretty sure you knew that already.” John and Billie shook hands and Billie
smirked at him again and he looked over at the dance floor and said, “Feel like
a dance?” Billie stepped down from the bar stood and said, “Show me what’ca got
champ.”
John followed her out to the dance floor as Missy Elliot came blasting through
the speakers…Her hips and ass were moving all over the place and John enjoyed
every minute of which he was feeling her body gyrate against his.
*****************************
[PRE-HOOK]
oh (oh) oh (oh) oh (oh) oh (oh)
I'm, I'm, I'm, I’m, I’m really, really
Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot
[1st VERSE]
Let me holla at the DJ
Come on DJ put that record on the replay
Don't you see how them bitches move they bootay
Every time you play this record, smell like coochay
Follow dem, screamin like a groupay
Misdemeanor move my nookie like a hoochay
For them hatas, hatas fuck whatever you say
Because you know I'm too cool for you anyway
I'm just a bad bitch
M-I-S, Miss
I'm gonna keep talkin shit till you get this
I'ma bust up in the club wit no guest list
Them otha artist, I keep em all restless
I don't French kiss, unless it's 50 Cent
Vivica, e can share him like the president
Tabloids,I don't care, it’s irrelevant
I'm heaven sent now watch how I do this shit
[PRE-HOOK]
[CHORUS]
I'm really, really hot
Every time my records drop
Radio says I won't stop
Cuz I'm killin em
[2nd VERSE]
You don't know whatcha talkin bout
You would think I was Sug when I come out
My album hit hard when I roll out
Yall records make a bitch wanna throw em out
And that's no doubt
See I rock bells
Fly as hell and cool as infidels
Baby can't ya tell
I lick my lips like I'm LL
And I'm doin it, and doin it, and doin it well
Straight to the hotel
I'm celibate so, boy, you gets no tail
Kiss, kiss and still you gets nowhere
Just two blue balls down in yo underwear
I play unfair
I'm a hot gal
Hot cars and stars and strip bars
And ain't hot if I'm not there
I'm a true playa
You can find me up in any record store
Hurry up and get here
[PRE-HOOK]
[CHORUS]
Look, let me move to the left
Go head, let me feel myself
Touch my chest my sweat
Show the DJ how I shake my breast
Jiggle, jiggle, jangle
Watch how my glooty is dangle
I do a 1 2 step, Stop!
No, I ain't done yet
Everybody in the club, go to work
Tight jeans, crop shirts, short skirts
I'm gonna rock to the beat till it hurt
I'm gonna drop it on the streets
Yeah ya heard
Hatas I flip the bird
Got guns, so what, I ain't scurred
I came to boogie and swerve
I ain't lyin folk that's my word
[PRE-HOOK]
(Release.. yourself...Release.. yourself...)
[CHORUS]
Really-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot
Really-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot
*****************************
When the song was over, Billie thanked John for the dance and walked off the
floor…as the girl proceeded to pay their tab and get in a few cabs and headed
back to the hotel for some much needed passing out.
Chapter 5
Paul was seeing RED the next morning as he stalked
down the hallway towards his sister’s hotel room.
A loud banging on the hotel door brought Billie out of her day dreaming in the
shower to reality as she stepped out of the water and gave herself a quick
towel dry as she pulled on her mid-thigh lengthen red satin robe and tied it
closed. Billie couldn’t imagine who was making all that racket…It was enough to
wake the damn dead!
Billie opened the door and nearly jumped out of her skin when it was her
brother staring back at her…Billie shook her head and said, “I should’ve known,
you’d pay me a visit eventually.”
Paul said, “You’re damn right and I knew you’d fuck up eventually…I hear you
was the ring leader of an all night drinking party 2 days before a major
fuckin’ Pay Pre-View.”
Billie crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Yea well yet once again
you’re wrong big brother…Who ever your source is…is full of shit! I went to a
club last night, to which I was invited by the Smackdown and Raw Diva’s and yea
we drank and danced but it was nowhere my idea, I went along for the fun of
it.”
Paul said, “Who can I talk too, to confirm your story?” Billie rolled her eyes
and said, “Obviously not YOUR source. You really need to get a life
Paul…Instead of thinking you need to be my daddy, I’ve already got one of
those…I don’t…I repeat…I DO NOT need another. Go find someone else to be a
daddy too.”
Billie turned to go back into her room, when a hand clamped down on her upper
arm and she was pulled back and swung around to face Paul as he said, “I’m
telling you right now, don’t fuck up or I swear I’ll have you fired…You are not
going to embarrass me in front of my friends and co-workers.”
Billie yanked her arm out of Paul’s hand and said, “How can I embarrass you
when no one in the damn company even knows you have a younger sister…No one
even knows I exist in your little pathetic world Paul…Do yourself a favor and
marry Stephanie and have some kids of your own to boss around. Because you are
not going to be controlling me.”
Paul said, “How’d you find out about me and Stephanie getting married?” Billie
said, “Oh you mean, how did I find out when you didn’t even send me an
invitation?” Billie smirked as she shook her head at her brother…she looked at
the floor and said, “Contrary to popular belief I’m still part of the
family…even if you wrote me off. I still talk to mom and dad on a daily basis
and I still visit Lynn…I saw the invitation on her table one day.”
Billie could feel the tears starting to burn her eyes and she said, “You know
something…I know why they picked Cerebral Assassin…Because you take everything
and fuck it up…You hurt people with words and looks…just the look on your face
is enough to hurt me…but you’re not worth it…You’re not worth the tears…you’re
not worth the emotions. Hell you’re not even worth the words that are coming
out of my mouth, because I know at the end of the day…you’re still gonna hate
me…and I’m still gonna pretend you don’t exist in my world.”
Paul said, “I never said I hated you.”
Billie let out a sarcastic laugh and said, “You never had to say it Paul…You
never even had to think it…I know you…Ever since that fender bender with your
precious car…Things between us haven’t been right…And they never will be…You
let something as stupid as a car get between brother and sister…A sister who
used to love everything about her older brother so much so she wanted to be
exactly like him when she was growing up…But everything changes…I don’t want to
be like you anymore…Shit…I don’t even want to know you anymore.”
Billie was looking at the ground and when she looked up Mark Callaway and his
daughter Jadis were walking by and Paul said, “Don’t forget what I said…Don’t
fuck up or you’re out of here.”
Jadis and Mark over heard Paul and Jadis said, “Dad…Tell Paul he can’t talk to
a lady like that…It was just rude and uncalled for.” Billie said, “Its okay
J…He can talk to me however he wants…I don’t exist in his pathetic world.”
Jadis started laughing along with Mark as Paul grunted something and stalked
down the hall.
Chapter 6
Billie looked at herself in the mirror and was
almost shocked at the woman staring back at her.
Apparently they were going all out for the PPV. The company had dolled her up
in black plastic pants, a matching halter top with matching 3 inch spiked heel
boots. They’d pulled her hair into a ponytail and spiral curled every piece of
hair and the make up lady had smoked out her eyes and as she was about to leave
the room, someone handed her the 3 foot black riding whip.
Billie couldn’t help but smirk as she walked up to Glenn also known as Kane in
the wrestling world…she was supposed to be is ‘monster’ characters handler.
Glenn looked up and said, “DAYUM! Are they trying to control Kane or give him a
hard on?” Billie took a swing at Glenn and a loud pop was heard through the
back stage area as the leather whip made contact with his thigh.
Glenn’s music rang through the arena as he walked out on the platform with
Billie following him…she tapped him on the shoulder as he lean over and she sat
on his thick muscled up shoulder as his arm came across her thighs and he stood
to his full height and walked down to the ring.
Once in the ring Billie walked around and stood facing the announcers with her
hands resting on the top rope…Everyone watch as Kane stood behind the small
framed girl just looming over her…His hands griping the top rope on the outside
of hers…his nose buried in her hair smelling the fragrance in only the sadistic
way he could and every watched in amazement as she girl smiled wickedly and
leaned back into his chest.
Obviously the monster wanted to please the lady…The end of the match signaled
with the three count and the sound of the bell as the ref tried to raise Kane’s
hand in victory, but was chased out as the girl got in the ring and walked up
to Kane rubbing her body against his suggestively…his hands balled into fists
by his side as he let her caress his body with her body and he leaned down
slightly and she licked the end of his nose.
Kane carried the small girl back to the back on his shoulder again.
Once behind the curtain, Glenn gently placed Billie back on her feet and said,
“Damn girl…You’re gonna be the death of me.” Billie laughed and said, “Yea…Go
take care of yourself there big boy.”
Billie walked off to the Diva’s locker room when a voice said, “Damn girl…You
always act so seductive when you’re in front of the camera?” Billie turned and
was face to face with John Cena again. Billie smirked and said, “I got the job
done right?” John nodded and said, “Yea…Apparently…You did a number on Glenn
though…He’s gonna be hurting himself for the next 6 hours.”
Billie couldn’t help but laugh at John’s comment. John said, “Oh so you do know
how to smile…You know…something you look so serious that I can’t tell if that’s
the way you are 24/7 or if it’s just you in character for the shows.” Billie
said, “Yea, well I haven’t had a whole hell of a lot to smile about in my life,
but I needed that laugh…Thank you.”
John smiled and his dimples made themselves known as he said, “How would you
like to go to dinner or a movie sometime?” Billie said, “Are you asking me out
on a date?” John said, “Lord no…That would be barbaric…So…Pick you up Tuesday
night at 9?” Billie smiled again and said, “Okay…9 it is. Dressy or casual?”
John said, “Do I look like the dressy type?” Billie said, “Right…Casual’s more
comfortable…and you can be who you are right.”
John said, “Right…I better go…My match is next.” Billie said, “Good luck…See
you Tuesday.” John watched as she turned and went in the Diva’s locker room and
he said, “Right…Tuesday.”
Should be interesting!
Chapter 7
A knock sounded on the hotel door at
John smiled and said, “Ready?” Billie smiled and said, “Wow…You clean up nice.”
John had on a crisp clean black t-shirt that the sleeves hugged his biceps, and
some nice black jeans and his sneakers of course, and a black plain baseball
hat. John said, “You don’t look so bad yourself. Of course it doesn’t stack up
to that black plastic number they got you wearing on Raw.”
Billie smirked as she pushed her keycard and ID into her back pocket, her cell
phone into her front pocket and pulled on a cotton zip up hoody. John pulled
the door closed behind her as they walked off together. About 20 minutes later
they were sitting in a restaurant ordering their food. John finally asked, “So
tell me more about yourself…No one knows much about you.”
Billie said, “Well…From the age of 15 I had a rough life…I moved out of my
parents house when I was 17…I guess you could say I am the black sheep of the
family. When I was 20 I left the state all together.” John said, “Where are you
originally from?” Billie said, “New Hampshire.” John said, “Hey Paul is from
New Hampshire…You know…Triple H.” Billie said, “Yea…I’m aware of who he is. No
one gets in this business without hearing of the great Paul Levesque.”
John quirked his eye brow at that comment but decided to not say anything…He
said, “So how did you hear of me then?” Billie said, “You’re story was a little
less of a production to find out. When I moved from New Hampshire…I went to
California…Santa Monica to be more precise…I had been training for months to
join a wrestling company…I did some Indy bullshit…but then UPW saw me and when
I joined…It was the same time you left for OVW. I heard all these stories back
and forth about you terrorizing the company and everyone in it with running
around naked and what not.”
John almost blushed but laughed nervously instead as his dimples made
themselves known again. Billie laughed and said, “Don’t get shy on my now Mr.
Cena. It’s not very becoming of you…After a year in UPW; I was shoved to
OVW…same thing you was signed to WWE as I was walking into OVW. I was there for
a substantially longer amount of time…Which I didn’t mind, because it gave me
time to hone my skills as a female wrestler in a male dominated sport.”
They continued their conversation over dinner and just before they were ready
to leave to catch a movie, Billie excused herself to the restroom for a
minute…She walked to the restroom and on the way back to the table she passed a
big banquet room…probably used for parties she thought…She could hear laughing
and carrying on in the room…
As she walked by she looked in and noticed it wasn’t just any party…It was a
dinner party for Paul and Stephanie’s wedding…She saw Linda, Vince, Shane, Marisa,
Paul, Stephanie, Lynn, James (Lynn’s husband), and their mom and dad. It nearly
broke Billie’s heart…She wasn’t even aware of her parents being in town and
then she remembered…
Paul and Stephanie’s wedding was in 5 days on Sunday.
Chapter 8
John signed the check as he watched Billie walk
back to the table with her head down…John stood up and touched her hand and
said, “Hey…Is everything okay?” Billie took a shaky deep breath and said, “I
don’t really feel like going to the movies…can you take me back to the hotel
please.”
John wasn’t sure what to say…He just nodded and said, “Yea sure.” Billie
whispered, “Thank you.” As she walked around John and out of the
restaurant…John followed after her and watched as she stepped out into the rain
that had started while they were eating…She just stood there letting it fall
down around her.
*****************************
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turned around to leave
And still
I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you
Could not bury if you tried
*****************************
John stepped out into the rain after her and said, “C’mon you’ll catch
pneumonia and Vince will have my ass for it.” Billie walked with him and just
as they got to the SUV rental she stopped…Just standing there…She looked up
into the sky and felt the rain as it fell on her face and hair.
John noticed she’d stopped walking and went back to her and said,
“Billie…C’mon.” Billie looked at him and said, “I don’t want to go…Just go back
to the hotel or something, I don’t care…I’m going to walk back.” John said,
“Don’t be crazy Billie…It’s pouring down…You’re going to get sick.” Billie
said, “I don’t care…Just go…I’ll see you whenever.” John watched in shock as
Billie walked away…She just disappeared into the pouring rain.
*****************************
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
Part of me died
When I let you go
*****************************
Billie made it back to the hotel…She cried every step of the way…She just
wanted everything she had between her and her brother to go back to being the
same…It seemed like forever since they’d had a normal talk. For the next few
hours she sat in the hotel bar and drank Jack Daniels and coke. Anything that
helped dull the pain she had. The pain her brother had inflicted. Over nothing
important…Over a stupid piece of metal with 4 tires.
Lately she’d been drinking more and more…For some reason alcohol seemed to be
the only redeeming quality about the hotels they were bounced around to on a
daily basis. She knew drinking was a big part of her life…She’d been drinking
heavy for a few years…but never went to the ring with alcohol in her
system…Drinking helped mask all her pain…all her feelings…She could pretend she
was someone else…somewhere else when she was drunk. Pretend she had a perfect
family…
*****************************
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear
As reality is crashing to the floor
*****************************
John was woke up by a knocking on his hotel door…He stumbled around for a few
minutes pulling on a pair of exercise pants and trying to fully wake himself up
as he moved slowly over to the hotel door. As he unlocked it and opened it he
came face to face with Billie. She was leaning against the door frame. As a
rhetorical thought John said, “Are you drunk?” Billie giggled and then threw
her hand over her mouth and said, “Just a little. But I swear I’ll owe you a
big explanation if you can make the room stop spinning.”
John wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her into his room. He sat her
on a chair and as he started helping her out of her still soaking wet
clothes…She started explaining everything…About Paul being her brother…their
rocky past…their non-existing brother-sister relationship…and about his wedding
that was in 5 days that she was definitely not invited too. John watched as she
unraveled…She was finally clad in one of John’s Smackdown t-shirts and a pair
of his over sized exercise pants. Billie couldn’t help but start crying as John
sat on the bed next to her and she started apologizing for everything. John
held her against his body and let her cry on him…They both happened to fall
asleep.
*****************************
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
*****************************
5 Days Later…
Billie was secretly hiding in the bushs next to the church silently watching
her brother get married through a window. Silent tears slid down her cheeks as
she thought of her own brother not wanting to share the happiest day of his
life with her. The pain radiated through her heart first and then continued
through out her whole body…She kept her hand over her mouth incase she made any
noises…She didn’t want him knowing she was there, when she really wasn’t
supposed to be.
She watched as the happy couple said ‘I Do’ and kissed for the first time as
husband and wife and saw the look on their faces and how happy they were. She
watched from the bush as the newlyweds entered the beautifully decorated white
limo and rode off and watched as the rest of the wedding party, departed to
head for the reception.
*****************************
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
And I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you…go
*****************************
Billie walked up the steps and into the church…She noticed that the maintenance
people were there already cleaning up the flowers and things left behind from
the happy moment.
The whole place had been beautiful from top to bottom. She had one last look
around as she reach up and pulled a white rose from it’s bouquet in the isle
arrangement. As she turned to leave, holding the beautiful flower to her nose
she inhaled the scent.
So that’s what love and happiness smells like…
Chapter 9
It had been 3 months since Paul and Stephanie had
been married…They had been gone on a long 3 month honeymoon in an undisclosed
location. Big shocker there! It was February and still cold in most of the
eastern states as well as western states also. Billie had all but forgotten her
brother since he’d been momentarily missing from the WWE Raw roster.
Billie was sitting backstage of Madison Square Garden in New York…Her and John
had pursued a nice slow, steady relationship. Billie was currently sitting on
the equipment trunk with jeans, sneakers and a long sleeved red cotton shirt
on. John was sitting behind her with her sitting between her legs…She was
turned sideways…Laughing about something he said.
*****************************
Once upon a year gone by
She saw herself give in
Every time she closed her eyes
She saw what could have been
Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
When covers tucked in tight
Funny when the bottom drops
How she forgets to fight…to fight
And it’s one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
*****************************
Paul and Stephanie walked into the arena hand in hand…They literally couldn’t
have been any happier. Paul looked ahead down the hallway and was taken back by
what he saw…His baby sister wrapped in the arms of none other then John
Cena…John wasn’t even on Raw…But of course it was Sunday night…And naturally it
was PPV night…But how in the hell did they hook up when they are on different
shows.
A few hours later and some idle threats from Paul to John about dating his
sister…and it was Billie’s turn to see RED! Bille banged on the dressing room
door that read ‘Triple H’ on it. Paul opened the door and saw his sister
staring back at him and watched as she shoved him back into the room with both
her hands on his chest as she kicked the door closed. Paul said, “What the fuck
Billie!”
*****************************
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within her eyes
She slowly swallows all her fear
And soothes her mind with lies
Well all she wants and all she needs
Are reasons to survive
A day in which the sun will take
Her artificial light…her light
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
Its one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel alright…alright
*****************************
Billie said, “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are…But the great fuckin
Paul Levesque will not be getting involved in my God damn relationships…I don’t
give a shit if you think you should or if you believe you should…You’ve not
said a decent word to me in 10 fuckin years and now all of a sudden you want to
act like a brother I used to have…Man you ain’t fuckin nothing in my eyes…Just
another pathetic wrestler in this company with too much fuckin time on his
hands. You’re a fuckin co-worker…You ain’t shit. You’ve hated me and treated me
like nothing…Shit I see garbage bags that get more love from a trash compactor
then I’ve gotten from you in the last 10 years. You hate me so much so a small
fender bender…You better stay outta my life, because you are fuckin with the
wrong co-worker…You want to hate me…I’ll give you a fuckin fabulous reason to
fuckin hate me…I swear on it!”
Paul watched in bewilderment as she threw the door open and walked out…slamming
it closed back behind her as she walked out.
*****************************
Don't pretend to…Hold it in…Just let it out
Don't pretend to…Hold it in…Just push it out
Don't you try to…Hold it in…Just…let it out and
Don't you try to…Hold it in…You hold it in
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
One last chance to feel alright…alright
*****************************
Billie stood in the parking garage…Staring at her brother red Hummer…She looked
down at her brothers weapon of choice…His sledge hammer…He didn’t even noticed
she’d picked it up from his dressing room when she walked out of there earlier.
Billie smirked to herself as she looked from the sledge hammer to the red
Hummer. ‘No better time then now.’ She thought.
Billie picked up the sledge hammer and swung it, taking out the headlights…next
was the windows, back, side and windshield…Might as well say good-bye to those
mirrors too…She pulled a screw driver out of her back pocket and jammed it into
all four tires…Then she started swinging the sledge hammer at random
things…bumpers, the side doors, the back hatch door, the hood. She even stood
on the very top and smashed down the roof of the overly large vehicle…As she
stepped off of it she wondered if her brothers fat head filled with Triple H
ego would be able to fit in his busted up vehicle…He wanted to hate her so much
for a fender bender…Now he had a real reason.
*****************************
Once upon a year gone by
She saw herself give in
Every time she closed her eyes
She saw what could have been
*****************************
As she had left a voice mail for John saying she was going to go back to the
hotel early and would see him the following night for Raw…She was sitting in
the back seat of a taxi thinking about all the things she’d been through in the
last 10 years of her life that her brother had missed because he was so
stubborn. Things you want to share with your family, but can’t because you know
there’s no way in hell you’re brother would let them be happy for you for 3
seconds, when she was the most irresponsible person he thought he knew.
There were things about her life the last 5 years of living in California they
knew nothing about. Her 3 year engagement…Watching her fiancé’s car get smashed
to shit by a drunk driver and then watched as he burn to death in a car
accident 2 nights before their wedding. No one could’ve predicted what her life
would’ve held for her those 10 years…
All she knew was after everything was said and done the night her fiancé was
killed she wanted nothing more then to run home and tell her brother and have
him hug her like he used to, she would come home and tell him about a boy who
was mean to her at school. Paul would act like any big brother and say ‘Tell
him if he doesn’t leave you alone you’re 6’4” 200 lb brother is gonna kick his
ass from here to hell.’ She remembered him saying that to her when she was 13.
She remembered everything between them before the age of 15…
Now a days everything that happened to her after the age of 15 was a big blur.
Chapter 10
The taxi some how never made it back to the
hotel…Instead it did what it always had done for Billie…It took her to a liquor
store and then back to the arena. When the taxi reached the arena Billie was
already 15 sheets to the wind. She walked through the halls as quietly and
quickly as possible…she found the back stairs that led to the roof and started
climbing.
By the time she made it to the top she was crawling on her hands and knees and
shoved the door open and crawled over to the 3 foot 1 ½ inch thick cinder block
wall that went around the perimeter of the roof…She pulled herself up and sat
on the ledge with her legs swinging down the side that went all the way down.
John could’ve sworn he’d seen Billie walking around back stage and went looking
for her. He found her red scarf at the bottom of the stairs that led to the
roof. She wouldn’t think of doing anything crazy…would she?
*****************************
These prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawling
Oh, I reach for you
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come…please…I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry…I’m falling…I'm falling
*****************************
The voice of Paul could be heard echoing through the hallways of the arena…John
picked up the scarf and went to see what Paul was yelling about. As John
followed the sound of pure unadulterated anger, he came to a stop in the
parking garage…And there was Paul throwing what looked like a hissy fit as
Stephanie surveyed the scene before…John was at a complete loss for words.
Paul’s brand new Bight red Hummer was demolished! From bumper to bumper there
wasn’t a spot on it that didn’t have a scratch, dent or missing piece. It was
easily $75,000 worth of damage if not more. Paul said, “I’m gonna KILL HER! She
won’t have to worry about anything from our past because she’ll be fuckin
dead!” John said, “Paul…Did you ever stop to think that this is a cry for
help?”
Paul walked over and got nose to nose with John and said, “Since when did you
become such an expert on my relationship with me and Billie?” John said, “Since
I seem to be the only one who gives a damn whether she lives or dies. I’m the
only one who gives a damn about her at all…I know what happened…What I don’t
get is how you could possibly chose a Camero…A hunk of metal with 4 rubber
tires over the life of your little sister…That’s truly pathetic man.”
*****************************
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin' me
*****************************
Suddenly a bottle came from the sky and smashed on the top of the demolished
Hummer’s hood. John’s head snapped up and saw Billie sitting over the edge
swinging her feet back and forth and waving to him. John, Paul, Stephanie and any
other by stander outside took off running up to the roof.
Paul stepped out onto the roof and watched as his sister stood up on the little
cinder block wall and started clapping…Billie said, “Ladies and Gentlemen…Let’s
hear it for my brother Paul Levesque! Oh some of you are shocked by the words
you here…Could it be because Paul never told you about his precious baby
sister…Why should you be any different from anyone else in his
life…Shit…Stephanie didn’t even find out about me until after he was engaged to
her.”
Paul stepped forward and said, “Billie, what the hell are you doing…Get down
from there before you get hurt.” Billie bent over and said, “Oh I don’t think
so big brother…I’ve been dying to speak with you for 10 years, but since you’ve
been an asshole for 10 years…I figure now is as good a time as any right?
RIGHT! So…Pressing on…How did you like that smash up job I did on your little
Hummer…Much better then when that ambulance rear ended your precious Camero.
Don’t you think?”
*****************************
Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m falling
And all I see is you
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come…please…I’m calling
And all I need from you
Hurry…I’m falling…I'm falling
*****************************
Billie stood straight up as she took another long swallow of the bottle of
Vodka she’d been carrying around…She’d already drank 2…This was her third.
Billie said, “I’d offer you a drink…but I’m almost out…You know something…You
looked so happy on your wedding day…And so in love. And I was so happy for
you…I wanted to tell you so bad…but I couldn’t. I wasn’t even invited to my own
brothers wedding. The happiest day of his life and he didn’t even want me to
see it.”
Billie squatted down and looked Paul in the eyes as tears rolled out of hers
and she said, “Did you know I was engaged…From the age of 20 to 23…I loved Jim
so much I couldn’t see straight…And then 2 nights before our wedding I watched
as a drunk driver took all of my hopes and dreams away in 2 seconds. The
vehicle was so mangled you shouldn’t tell it was a Mustang anymore. The coroner
said that Jim was definitely dead from the impact, before his car burst into
flames and burned his body beyond all recognition. Of course I can’t help but
think what if they were wrong…What if he was still alive and felt every
agonizing second of every minute of his body being on fire from head to toe.
You know if I ever get married and have kids…I could never let them know about
this really great uncle they have…Because why introduce them to someone who’s
not even a part of their life and who hates their mother right.”
Billie stood up again and said, “For the last 10 years, I couldn’t help but
wish I had never been born…Cause then I couldn’t have made that little mistake
and you’d still have your perfect little life all in tact…There’s a piece of my
life missing…It’s been missing for 10 years…And as much as I want to go back
and change the things I did and change the out come of the future I can’t…And
you can’t forgive me…And I can’t live with that anymore. A simple mistake
altered my life so much that I lost my brother…Every day I wake up hoping it
was all a really bad dream…A terrible, terrible nightmare…but it’s not…And you
refuse to let it go…I know your life will be perfect no matter what. With or
without me…It will all be perfect. I love you Paul…You’re my brother…I’ll
always love you, and you’ll always hate me.”
*****************************
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin' me
Hurry…I’m falling
Yeah, yeah-hey
*****************************
Paul grabbed Billie’s hand and said, “I never said I hated you.” Billie looked
in his eyes and said, “You didn’t have to Paul…You didn’t have too.” Billie
slowly pulled her hand away as her eyes held Paul’s captive…He suddenly saw all
the sadness in them from the last 10 years…
*****************************
And all I need is you
Come…please…I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry…I’m falling
*****************************
Suddenly as if in slow motion…Billie took a step backwards…and off of the
cinder block wall into the black sky of nothingness below…Paul, John and
Stephanie rushed over to the side and watched as Billie’s body free-fell all
the way down the side of the building, into the parking garage below.
*****************************
I'm falling
*****************************
“BILLIE! NOOOOOOOOOO!” The words flew from Paul’s mouth as if he were begging
her to stay…Begging her to forgive every thing he’d done and said to her that
hurt her in the last 10 years.
*****************************
I'm falling
*****************************
Billie’s eyes held Paul captive all the way down…John and Stephanie turned
away…Paul couldn’t stop watching as he witnessed his sister’s body fall into a
dumpster…
Chaos broke out in the parking garage, from the immensely loud thud that rang
though it…The echo filtered into the arena…Then Chaos broke out on the roof as
everyone who was standing on the roof was racing to get to the bottom…Paul,
John and Stephanie watched as the EMT’s that were on hand for the venue jumped
in the dumpster…
*****************************
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin' me
Hurry I’m falling
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin' me
*****************************
“GET THAT GURNEY OVER HERE! SHE’S STILL ALIVE!”
The End???