As she drove back to the hotel, Amy managed to hold her emotions in check. However, a myriad of emotions threatened to overwhelm her as she thought about everything - anger, sadness, hopelessness... She was just about at her wit's end, although she didn't want to call it quits with Kurt just yet. When she reflected on the major bulk of their relationship, she just couldn't bring herself to end things.
She and Kurt Angle had first started dating in September of 2001, in the midst of the WWF versus Alliance storyline. Things had been great. They'd started out as friends, which was why Amy believed their relationship had progressed so smoothly.
The redhead suddenly arrived at the hotel, and she pulled the car into a space in the lot. Then, putting the car in park, she sat there for a moment, laying her head down on the steering wheel. Fighting the irresistible urge to cry, she bit her lip, then exited the vehicle.
It wasn't fair... Not once in the year and a half they'd been together had Kurt ever told her he loved her. Amy had sensed for the longest time that he didn't love her - she knew he cared for her, and she could even accept that. But it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.
The week before, after a house show, they'd had a huge fight - perhaps the biggest one they'd ever had. They'd been out together, and Amy had watched Kurt, with a horrible sinking feeling in her gut, as he'd downed beer after beer. The Olympian's drinking had gotten worse over the last three or so months, and although he drank only once or twice a week at most, it still disturbed her. Amy knew that a person could develop a drinking problem indulging in the 'habit' as little as one night a week, and she worried. And to make matters worse, Kurt's father had been an alcoholic, which made it that much more possible for him to become one. That thought absolutely terrified her.
As the diva entered the hotel room, the tears came pretty much instantaneously. As she thought back on the angry words they'd exchanged during the fight that night - how Angle had screamed at her at the top of his lungs, telling her she would never 'control' him, she raised a hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her harsh cries.
She'd denied trying to control him, finally reluctantly admitting that the reason she was so concerned was because she loved him. God damn it... In all the time they'd been a couple, she'd never had the courage to say those three little, but very meaningful words.
I love you...
She'd never had the courage to say them because she knew that he didn't reciprocate her feelings. Then, after a moment of silence while he absorbed it all, Kurt had rubbed a hand over his face, then confirmed what she'd always known in her heart...
"I...I don't love you, Amy...I like you...I care about you, but...I don't love you..."
The redhead gazed tearfully around the room, wondering why in hell she hadn't just walked out on him. But as she thought about it, she knew - although she craved being loved, being cared for was enough for her - because she loved Kurt...
Then why did she hurt so very much? Why were thoughts of breaking up with him consuming her on nearly a daily basis? Damn it, she had cried more in the last few weeks than she had in a longer time than she cared to admit. She couldn't deal with this anymore...
Some of her friends had told her she should dump Kurt - that she deserved better.
She thought about something else that had always bothered her. Well, it was something that had been happening about four or five months into their relationship, but she'd never let it bother her too much - Kurt had a bit of a roving eye - but all it had ever been was a roving eye. Because he'd never cheated on her - and she knew this for a fact - she'd disregarded it. However, a couple of aspects of this particular issue did bother her - one, judging by the women he checked out most often, he preferred blondes - which she most certainly was not... And two, in particular, he seemed to eye Torrie Wilson quite a lot. Amy didn't like that because she and the platinum blonde diva didn't get along - and Kurt knew this, yet he regularly checked Torrie out right in front of her.
Christ... She had to get out of this room. She needed company. If she stayed here alone, all she'd do would be to dwell on how bad her relationship currently was - and she would continue to cry her eyes out.
Her mind made up, the redhead turned around in her tracks and left. She walked down the hallway, still crying when a hand suddenly reached out and grasped her wrist.
So startled that she nearly screamed, Amy looked up into the man's concerned face. He'd been leaving his own hotel room, and she realized she was so upset that she hadn't even seen or heard him.
"Amy, what's wrong...?"