NAWA glory 2-28-02:

Black and white flashback footage to last week is shown. The miscue of Scott Steiner and Jarrett kabonging him with the guitar. We then see Scott Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett graphic for Rage in the Cage.

The cho-cho-chosen one is heard followed by “Cowboy” by Kid Rock. Out comes Jeff Jarrett, the NAWA world champion. We just saw what happened between him and Scott Steiner last week. Tonight Jeff Jarrett will face Sting and Shane Douglas in our feature bout. Jarrett has the microphone and he will speak.

Jeff Jarrett: You may all think what happened last week was a mistake. Well it was not and shall not be considered a mistake. I meant that guitar shot and Scott Steiner screwed up after I warned him not too. Well you know what. I wasn’t ever going to pass that title onto him. I was using him as a puppet to get what I want. I promised him but it was an empty promise. Because All I wanted was this (points to the NAWA world title). I used him to win the battle royal. I used him to beat Shane Douglas at the last PPV. I would have used him again accept he has outlived his usefulness. He is an old washed up puppet that I will throw in the trash because I have no use for it. Steiner, At Truth or Consequences you will get you title shot. Will you leave in one piece? Well I will dissemble you and rip you apart like the old, washed up puppet that you are.

Jarrett pauses while he soaks in the boos.

Jarrett: The Steiners have never been too bright. It is laughable that Vincent K. McMahon would want anything to do with the washed up roided up piece of trash that is Scott Steiner. Don’t insult your intelligence Steiner. Its not like I ever liked you. It’s just that you were too stupid to realize that I used you. So at the PPV I will dismantle you piece by piece. Now why don’t you choke on that…Slapnuts.

Jarrett goes to leave but “Bodies” by Drowning Pool plays and out comes Scott Steiner. Steiner has a microphone. Oh great, open the pocketbook.

Steiner: Listen Jarrett. You are a mother fucking asshole. You are cunning but you are one of the lowest men ever. That last week was a mistake. I think if you can’t handle to hold a wrestler right for the weapon shot then it was you who fucked up. A listen you me you little bastard. When I fight you at Truth or Consequences I will squeeze you so hard in the Steiner Recliner that your little eyeballs will pop out.

Jarrett: You talk the talk Steiner. You may not be able to walk the walk. You may look impressive with big muscles but when it comes to catch as catch can wrestling you don’t know anything. I will outwrestle you at the PPV and that is final slapass.

Steiner: Jeffery, Jeffery, Jeffery. I am a former amateur wrestler. Don’t forget it. I can revert back to that when I want to.

Jarrett: Big deal. You suck Steiner. Those steroids must be affecting your brain if you think you can spend more than 10 minutes in the ring with me. You are in denial Steiner.

Steiner: Listen here fucker. We don’t have to wait to Truth or Consequences. Lets do it right now you son of a bitch.

Jarrett: I will not kick your ass tonight Steiner. I will however since I have a three-way dance hook you up with a certain tag team for a tune up handicap match.

Steiner: Are you a pussy Jarrett. Fine. I will kick your ass at Truth or Consequences if you make it through tonight, slapnuts.

Jarrett is beside himself.

Jarrett: You are pushing it Steiner.

Steiner: and that’s J E Double F J A Double R E Double T. That Double J Jeff Jarrett. Ha Ha Ha.

Jarrett is throwing a fit in the ring.

Steiner: See you at the PPV Jarrett.

Jarrett: Fine Steiner. You want to mock me. We shall see how funny it is when I dismantle your ass at Truth or Consequences. So why don’t you choke on that, slapnuts.

Steiner: Oh I won’t choke on anything. But if you make it the PPV with the belt you will choke on my two fists beating a hole through your head.

“Bodies” replay and Steiner leaves to a mixed reaction. This is basically Heel vs. Heel up until that opening promo for Jarrett. Lets remember that Shane Douglas was booed when he first entered the NAWA only to turn face with a feud with The Chosen One. Could Steiner be going through the same thing? But now we go to a…

[commercial]

Next up is for the NAWA jobber title. A unique match in its own right for a unique title. We see a pole hooked to one of the ringpost. On the post there is a hotdog. Just recently cooked. The rules of this match are simple. This is no-holds-barred. You can win by pinfall, submission, or, if you believe this, eating the hotdog. There is a picnic table at ringside with mustard, ketchup, and hot dog buns. There is also a cooler of beer.

“Loser” by Beck plays and out comes the challenger Bull Pain. Some of the crowd has decided to take a bathroom break for this match.

“Loser” by Beck plays again and out comes the NAWA jobber champion the Gambler. That cardboard belt with NAWA jobber champion written on it, two nickels on both sides, and velcro fastening it.

NAWA Jobber Title Hotdog on a Pole Match Bull Pain vs. The Gambler © The Bell rings. Both men lock up and they trade weak punches. Gambler whips Bull Pain in. Gambler ducks a clothesline and hits a shoulderblock, but this knocks both men down from their lack of coordination. Gambler gets back up and makes the first effort towards the pole but Bull Pain is up and Bull Pain swings. Bull Pain misses big time but Gambler gets crotched anyway. Bull Pain pulls Gambler off the buckles. Bull Pain now punches but as he stomps for the punch he injures his knee. Gambler checks to see if Bull Pain is okay but Bull Pain low blows him. Well Bull Pain actually hits him on the knee with the uppercut but Gambler sells it as a crotch shot. Bull Pain now whips Gambler in. Scoop Powerslam. Cover: One, Two, Kickout. Bull Pain now drops an elbow on Gambler and is now starting his trip up the pole and to the hot dog. Gambler is up and he rolls to the outside. What the. Gambler returns with the bottle of mustard. Gambler now squirts the pole with mustard causing Bull Pain to slip and crotch himself on the top rope. Gambler then squirts Bull Pain in the face with the mustard. Bull Pain sells it by taking a wicked bump to the concrete. Gambler now shakes the pole causing the hotdog to fall off into his hand. Gambler now grabs a bun and puts the hot dog in it. He could win by eating the hotdog. Gambler squirts ketchup and then mustard on the hotdog. Gambler grabs a beer from the cooler. But Bull Pain dives off the steps with a shoulderblock as Gambler sets the hotdog on the announcer’s table. Gambler hits the table but misses the pre-cut part. Gambler then gets up and then falls putting himself through the picnic table. Bull Pain pauses but Gambler picks up the bottle of ketchup that was overturned by him going through the table. Gambler squirts Bull Pain in the face with the ketchup. Bull Pain panics and thinks he is juicing. Gambler then shakes up the beer and pops it open squirting it into Bull Pain’s face. Gambler then throws Bull Pain back into the ring. Gambler then grabs the hotdog. What is he going to do, eat it? No Gambler is perched on the top waiting for Bull Pain. Gambler dives off as Pain turns around and HITS HIM WITH THE HOTDOG. Bull Pain sells this ridiculous move, God bless his soul. Gambler then goes for the cover. One, Two, Three. The Gambler retains the NAWA Jobber Title.

Hotdog on a Pole Match: The Gambler pinned Bull Pain after hitting him with the hotdog in 0:02:11. Rating: -* 3/4 (The Gambler retained the NAWA Jobber Title.)

Bull Pain sold a weapon shot so ridiculous that a three year old would laugh at him going down by that. Gambler sits on the buckle in a token of victory and takes the mustard. Gambler squirts the mustard straight into his mouth. Gambler then takes the ketchup and does the same thing. Gambler then grabs a beer and downs it to finish his victory celebration. Lets go backstage.

We see The Curry Man mask held up in mid-air. We then see that Lenny Lane is lying on the couch with wrestling boots on and a towel strategically placed.

Lenny: Aw Yes. Christopher Daniels. Curry Man. Whatever you want to call him he is an unfortunate victim of circumstance. You see he has what a want. The NAWA cruiserweight title belt is the thing that I desire most of all. That belt should be mine and mine alone but I wasn’t invited for the title match to determine the first champion. That is of no fault of mine. That was the executive committee’s bumbling. Christopher, at Truth or Consequences it will be the hard truth for you. The truth will be erected in stone at the PPV. It will take a cold shower after the PPV to realize that all your dreams were not to be. After I lay on top of you for three seconds at the PPV, your dreams have all come true. If and when I get off of you after that three seconds are up, your dreams will be shattered. Christopher, I heard you don’t like my concrete blowpops. Well maybe if you’re lucky I will let you give me a concrete blow…

As that word is said the screen turns to snow. Then a blue screen appears and these words come.

The following that was said after the cutoff point was too offensive for TV and is something that could get the NAWA into a lot of legal trouble with some certain television watchdog organizations. Thank you.

[commericial]

“The Armstrong theme” plays and Steve Armstrong makes his way out to the ring. Still to come tonight The Enforcers will defend the NAWA tag team titles against a mystery tag team. Brad Armstrong faces Van Hammer and Scott Steiner will be in action. Also New Jack faces Disco Inferno for the Xtreme Title and Jeff Jarrett faces Sting and Shane Douglas.

“Keep on Rockin’ in the California Sun” plays and out comes Lenny Lane. Lenny Lane has the Curry Man mask and he enters the ring. Lenny Lane has some blowpops as well. Lenny Lane stuffs the Curry Man mask down his tights. The Bell now rings.

Steve Armstrong vs. Lenny Lane. They lock up and Steve breaks. Steve Armstrong is complaining that Lenny Lane oiled himself up so he could prevent grapples. Lenny Lane sucker-punches Steve Armstrong. Lenny now runs his hands up Steve Armstrong’s chest. Steve Armstrong punches Lenny Lane and whips him into the ropes. Leapfrog. Duck-down. Leapfrog. Dropkick from Steve Armstrong. Steve Armstrong now hits a hiptoss. Steve Armstrong hits an armdrag and an armbar. Hyperextending the arm of Lenny Lane. Lenny pinches Armstrong on the ass breaking the hold. Lenny now feels Armstrong up his chest but Armstrong now dropkicks Lenny in the knee. Armstrong rams Lenny knee first into the canvas. Armstrong whips Lenny in but Lenny ducks and Armstrong hits the corner. Lenny now whips Armstrong into the buckles. Lenny now mounts the buckles and…we cut to a crowd shot. Lenny Lane did something that was inappropriate for TV. We see Armstrong puking over the bottom rope. Armstrong is lying back down on the top rope and Lenny now sits down on Armstrong’s face. We go to crowd shot number two as this happens. Armstrong is gagging again. Lenny then grabs Armstrong and KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK? Armstrong snaps and goes to attack Lenny. Lane rakes Armstrong in the eyes.

Lenny now whips Armstrong in and Lenny now with a drop toehold and Lenny runs his hands up Armstrong’s body. Lenny locks in a full nelson and if Lenny knocks Armstrong out he can do anything he wants to with him. Lenny now goes for the Memory Lane (full nelson faceslam), but Armstrong blocks it. Armstrong now with a go behind and Lenny back elbows Armstrong. Lenny now dropkicks Armstrong into the buckles. Lenny with a bulldog out of the corner. Lenny now rubs his hands together and looks down at Steve Armstrong. Lenny pulls down the straps of Steve Armstrong. Not this. Lenny licks his hand and ARMSTRONG KICKS LENNY AWAY. Armstrong now climbs to the top rope. Springboard Clothesline. Armstrong now climbs up again. Steve Armstrong hits Flying Cross Body and Armstrong gets up to avoid giving Lenny any enjoyment. Armstrong now picks up Lenny and Abdominal Stretch. Lenny has a smirk on his face rather then pain. Armstrong now tightens the hold more. Lenny is almost overjoyed but Armstrong releases the hold. Armstrong now goes for a bodyslam but Lenny starts rubbing his hands on the chest of Steve Armstrong again. Lenny then slides down and MEMORY LANE. Lenny now covers Armstrong with one finger on the…well lets not go there. One, Two, Three.

Lenny Lane pinned Steve Armstrong with the Memory Lane in 0:04:31. Rating: **

Lenny Lane looks down but Christopher Daniels sprints from the back. The NAWA cruiserweight champion has returned to regain the Curry Man mask. Lenny is playing to the crowd. Daniels now hits Lenny in the back and LAST RITES. Daniels now is searching for the Curry Man mask. Daniels sticks his hand down Lenny’s tights. Lenny’s eyes pop open in horror. Lenny swats the hand of Daniels away and rolls to the outside. Lenny is summoning somebody from the back and Daniels hits a plancha onto Lenny. Daniels is punching away and he is looking for the Curry Man mask again. Suddenly two beefy cops come out and grab Christopher Daniels. They slap him in handcuffs. What in the hell is going on here?

Lenny has the microphone.

Lenny: Christopher, Christopher, Christopher. You were warned. You touched me in an inappropriate place and now you get to spend the night in the pokey. My charges are assault and battery Christopher. Not to mention sexual harassment. See you at Truth or Consequences. Before then stew in jail.

Lenny now pulls out the Curry Man mask and taunts Daniels with it. Daniels tries to get away but he is maced. Lenny is yelling insults at Daniels and parading around in the Curry Man mask. Lenny is playing these mind games with Christopher Daniels all night.

Backstage:

The Enforcers are conversing with Van Hammer.

C.W. Anderson: So Hammer, the plan is for you not only to destroy Brad Armstrong tonight but end his career. You will get a fat payoff for doing this.

Swinger: Yeah, we are busy with other things. That idiot Commissioner Steamboat booked C.W. in a match with Brian Lee tonight. Simon and I have to defend the titles against some tough competition that we picked so we are out.

Simon: In fact, Hammer, here is a $2,000 down payment (hands Hammer a roll of $100 bills). There is plenty more where this came from. Just destroy Brad Armstrong tonight and you are a made man. Anything you want. More TV Time, limos, leer jets, woman, and cash.

Van Hammer: Deal. I will do this. You won’t regret hiring me.

Well this was interesting. This is proving that there are even more shady dealings behind the scenes in the NAWA.

Lets take you back to last week. We see Alex Wright’s savage beating on Norman Smiley. First with a cane, then with two German suplexes through a table, a throat-first drop into the guardrail, and last an inverted piledriver onto concrete. Norman Smiley was carted off on a gurney but Wright pushed the gurney off the stage once more. This all leads to an ambulance match at Truth or Consequences. Norman Smiley vs. Alex Wright will go one on one. Will Norman Smiley be 100 percent? Lets take you back to these prerecorded comments from a hospital in Atlanta where Norman was taken last week.

We go and we see Cyrus.

Cyrus: Hello. This is Cyrus bring you a special report from this local Atlanta hospital. As you may have seen last week, Norman Smiley was the victim of a premeditated and brutal attack. We will try to get a word with Norman. His doctor told me that he is in a crabby mood from that attack a few days ago and is mumbling in his sleep about wanting to maim Alex Wright. Norman also suffered two compressed vertebrae and sharp pains in his lower back when he least expects it. I will go in now.

The camera shifts to the hospital room. Norman is lying on his bed with a pad of paper and a pen.

Norman: Oh it is you. What do you want Cyrus.

Cyrus: Well I am here to see how you are doing.

Norman: How you think I am doing? I am strapped to a blasted bed, my back is killing me, and there is nothing good on television anymore.

Cyrus: What are your feelings on what Alex Wright has done to you so far?

Norman: Ah yes Alex Wright. Allow me to explain. I tried to be a nice guy. I tried not to use illegal tactics. I took a big beating at Rage in the Cage. My back was a little sore but I iced it. My mouth however was ripped from my head bouncing of the barbed wire. So was my forehead. Alex ripped me open. I then scored a surprise rollup, which proves that he is not good against the element of surprise. Then on Glory I made my international title shot. I had the match one but my old friend Alex hit me from behind with a cane. He suplexed me through a table. My back was now shooting in pain. The table had no give, which I perceived to be worse than if it had broke. Then Alex picked me up and hit that dreaded suplex again. The table collapsed this time, which proved to be a sense of relief. Alex then picked me up and dropped me throat first onto the railing stunning me for a few seconds. Alex then pulled back the mats and put me over his shoulder. Alex then nearly drove me headfirst into the floor. I kind of landed a better angle because my right shoulder hit his left knee. I heard some compacting and realized I was screwed. Two of my vertebrae crushed together causing even more back pain. Then when I was carried out I was pushed off the ramp on a gurney.

Cyrus: Why this match at Truth or Consequences. You are nowhere near 100 percent.

Norman: Well what is done has to be done. I will teach Alex Wright a lesson or die trying. I will fight Alex Wright with ever last bit of energy I can muster. Every last breath I can get in. I will even dig down deep for that one last burst of energy when all hope is lost. Will I win? I don’t know the answer. One thing is for certain. Alex Wright will have a hell of a fight on his hands at Truth or Consequences.

Cyrus: Thank you for your time Norman.

Norman: Don’t mention it.

[commericial]

“The Armstrong Theme” plays and out comes Brad Armstrong. Brad is in this bounty match vs. Van Hammer tonight but VAN HAMMER RUNS HIM DOWN IN THE AISLE. Hammer then throws Armstrong headfirst into the ring post. Hammer then picks up Armstrong and drops him face first onto the ring bell, which was on the timekeeper’s table. Hammer then grabs a cable and wraps it around the throat of Armstrong. Hammer then bashes Armstrong over the head with a television monitor and a microphone. Hammer pitches Armstrong in the ring and the bell rings.

Van Hammer vs. Brad Armstrong: Hammer picks up Armstrong and snake eyes onto the corner. Hammer then throws Brad into the ropes and spinning side slam. Hammer now is up and an elbowdrop. Hammer drops a second elbowdrop and then a third. Hammer is refusing to go for the pin. Hammer picks up Armstrong and presses him over his head. Hammer then drops Armstrong onto his knee with a backbreaker. Brad injured that back at the PPV and is less than 100 percent. Hammer now is punching away at the small of the back. Hammer pauses to soak in the boos from the crowd. Hammer now whips Armstrong in and Hammer has Armstrong in a torture rack. More pressure to the lower back applied by Hammer. Hammer now hits a spinning torture rack slam. One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. We all know that move never beats anybody. Hammer now throws Armstrong to the outside with excessive force. Hammer now bearhugs Armstrong and drives him spine-first into the ring post. Hammer does it again. Hammer does it a third time and leaves Armstrong to slump on the floor. Hammer grabs a steel chair. Hammer now whacks Armstrong in the back with the chair. Hammer is risking DQ but he doesn’t care, because this is a bounty match. Hammer then takes the edge of the chair and jams it into the lower back of Armstrong. The referee is trying to stop this but the official gets shoved down. Hammer now grabs the chair again and sets it up. Hammer bodyslams Armstrong onto the steel chair. Armstrong screams out in pain. Hammer then rolls Armstrong back into the ring. Hammer now a Canadian Backbreaker. This could be a submission. Hammer however as Armstrong is about ready to give throws Armstrong down to the mat. Hammer now picks up Armstrong and FLASHBACK. Hammer’s version of a high-angle spinebuster slam. Hammer now picks up Armstrong again and forearms him in the face casually. Hammer now picks up Armstrong and spins him around with an airplane spin, NO ARMSTRONG REVERSES INTO A CRUCIFIX. One, Two, Three. Armstrong gets the pin out of nowhere.

Brad Armstrong pinned Van Hammer after a crucifix in 0:02:01. Rating: DUD

Hammer is upset at this fluke crucifix. Brad Armstrong gets his hands raised but Hammer grabs him from behind with a cobra clutch. Could Hammer hit the Cobra Clutch Slam? No Armstrong with a jawbreaker to counter. Armstrong now dropkicks Hammer in the knee. The Enforcers hit the ring. Dawn Marie, Swinger, Simon, and C.W. Simon and Swinger hit a Problem Solver on Brad. C.W. picks up Armstrong and ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER!!! Van Hammer gets up and he shakes the hand of C.W. Simon has a microphone.

Simon: Welcome to the Enforcers Van Hammer…NOT!!!!

Swinger hits Hammer in the back of the head with a tag title belt. We get a mega stomping session on Van Hammer. Simon sets up Van Hammer and the NAWA Tag team champions hit the Problem Solver on Van Hammer. Simon is now going through the back pocket of Hammer’s jeans. Simon takes that roll of $100 bills the Enforcer’s gave Hammer earlier. Those damn Indian givers. C.W. picks up Hammer and DDT from C.W. Hammer is out cold along with Brad Armstrong. There was no deal. It was just a plot to soften up Brad Armstrong without the Enforcer’s having to lift a finger and when all the work was done they will close in for the kill.

[commericial]

The Enforcer’s are walking around waiting for their cue to go out for the next match between C.W. and Brian Lee. Commissioner Steamboat however is their waiting.

Steamboat: You guys thought you pulled it off. Well, C.W. you will have to go out against Brian Lee alone because The Enforcers ARE BARRED FROM RINGSIDE.

The Enforcer’s are protesting this but Steamboat holds his hand up.

Steamboat: Also at Truth or Consequences you C.W. Anderson will face Brad Armstrong in a SUBMISSION MATCH. Swinger and Simon your defense against Brian Lee and Chris Candido will have the titles change hands on a countout or a DQ.

The Enforcers are all yelling at Steamboat as he exits. Security is escorting Swinger, Simon, and Dawn Marie backstage. C.W. goes out for his match.

A cheap knock-off of Arn Anderson’s old WCW theme plays and out comes C.W. Anderson. C.W. is by himself because of the Enforcers getting barred from ringside for this match.

“Perfect Strangers” by Deep Purple plays and out comes Brian Lee. This is going to be one on one because both the Triple Threat and the Enforcers are barred from ringside.

Brian Lee vs. CW Anderson The bell rings and CW rolls out of the ring. He puts his hands up in the air and walks down the ramp. Brian Lee rolls out of the ring and rushes down the aisle and big boots CW. Lee then rolls CW back into the ring. Lee then goes after CW but CW tries to escape again. Lee grabs CW and clobbers him as he tries to hop over the guardrail. Lee then rolls CW back into the ring but CW rolls to the outside again and makes his way up the ramp. Lee now runs down the ramp and clotheslines CW. Lee now grabs CW and rolls him back into the ring. CW now climbs the buckles to try to escape this match but Lee pulls him off. CW now rolls out of the ring and is rolling down the ramp. CW wants no part of this match and is trying to get himself counted out. Brian Lee now runs down the ramp and grabs CW by the throat. No kick to the groin by CW. Theirs the bell. CW has been disqualified for use of a low blow.

Brian Lee defeated C.W. Anderson by disqualification in 0:00:47. Rating: DUD

CW now is walking down the ramp but BRAD ARMSTRONG SPRINTS DOWN THE RAMP. Brad’s back and ribs are taped up. Armstrong tackles C.W and starts punching away. No CW punches Armstrong in the ribs. Those back and ribs were injured in Armstrong’s match earlier tonight. CW now picks up Armstrong and ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER ON THE STAGE. A piece of steel gave away and Armstrong is injured. Armstrong is spitting up blood. Armstrong is lying below the stage and that steel has cut into his skin aggravating his injuries. CW pulls Armstrong out of the hole and is going to pitch him off the ramp but Brian Lee chases him off and WALKS INTO A CHAIRSHOT. That chair was wielded by Simon Diamond. Swinger now runs out with a pipe and is unloading on Brian Lee with some shots to the ribs. Dawn Marie is out and Simon and Swinger hold Brian Lee. DAWN KICKS BRIAN LEE STRAIGHT IN THE GROIN. Chris Candido rushes out but Swinger and Simon catch him with a problem solver on the steel ramp. Francine and Tammy Lynn Sytch rush out to plead to the Enforcers but DAWN MARIES HITS BOTH OF THEM FROM BEHIND WITH A PIPE. Security finally intervenes but this attack from the Enforcers was completely heinous. What will it take to stop this group of assholes? We will be right back.

[commericial]

We see Shane Douglas arriving at the arena. Shane Douglas has had some transportation problems and he is here. So that’s why he wasn’t out here to save the Triple Threat. A backstage crew member approaches Shane Douglas.

Crewmember: Mr. Douglas did you here about what just happened?

Douglas: No.

Crewmember: The Enforcers beat down the Triple Threat. It was one of the most brutal things ever and…

Shane Douglas puts his hand up and grabs a tire iron that happened to be lying in the parking garage.

Shane: My good man. Where is the locker room of the Enforcers?

Crewmember: Second hallway from the bathrooms, third door on the left. You can’t miss it.

Shane rushes off with the tire iron in his hand.

“Simon Says” plays and out comes the NAWA tag team champions Simon and Swinger with Dawn Marie. Dawn Marie is allowed out here for some reason. Maybe because she has an actual manager’s license.

Simon: Tonight is going to be the Enforcers first title defense. We have one of the toughest teams in the NAWA to face. Tell them Swinger.

Swinger: Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Children of all ages. The Enforcers proudly bring to you its tag team champions of the…

Simon: Wrong intro Swinger.

Swinger: Oh yeah. Our opponents. Weighing god knows what after a few dozen trips to the salad bar. They are known for the word over of being masters counting lights on ceilings everywhere. DAVE BURKHEAD AND ADRIAN BRYD.

What in the hell is going on here? “Loser” by Beck plays and out comes two of the members of the NAWA jobber division, Dave Burkhead and Adrian Byrd. This is not one of the top teams in the NAWA. They would probably be on the very bottom rung as tag team contention goes. The bell rings and this title match is underway.

NAWA world tag team titles Dave Burkhead and Adrian Byrd vs. Simon Diamond and Swinger©(w/Dawn Marie)

The bell rings and Swinger starts out with Burkhead. Swinger spits at Burkhead. Burkhead does a wild face first sell. Swinger is trying not to break character. These wacky jobber spots will not guarantee a title change. Swinger clonks Burkhead on the head ala Three Stooges and Burkhead flips over the top rope and hits face first onto the ring steps. Burkhead staggers in and tags Byrd who flips over the top rope on the tag. Swinger now with a drop toe hold and Byrd rolls around clutching his right ankle. Swinger now whips Byrd in and a dropkick. Byrd slaps his own hip on full view making that dropkick sound like a gunshot. Byrd then yells SOMERSAULT LEGDROP on camera. Oh great now these jobbers are calling spots out loud. Swinger hits a somersault legdrop. Byrd now yells KNEEDROP and Swinger drops the knee. Tag to Simon. Simon and Swinger hit a double elbowdrop on Byrd who is no longer could be heard calling spots on camera. Simon now grabs Byrd and whips him in. Simon slaps Byrd across the face hard. Byrd gets up, drops the blade on camera, and then picks it up. Byrd then turns to the camera and holds up the blade. Byrd then blades on camera. Simon now with an inside cradle. One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Byrd goes for a leapfrog but Simon hits an inverted atomic drop. Simon now nearly rips off Byrd’s head with a vicious lariat. Tag to Swinger. Swinger is on the top rope. Flying Somersault Legdrop. Now Swinger grabs Byrd and throws him down. Swinger then pretends to be trying to reach the corner first. Swinger then tags in Simon and Simon rushes over and PUSHES BYRD INTO THE HAND OF BURKHEAD. Tag was made. Burkhead is confused and he enters the ring. Burkhead does a punch of shaking his head and Burkhead winds up for the big punch but Burkhead falls on his face. Simon now grabs Burkhead and causes Burkhead to clothesline him. Burkhead now is shocked that he actually hit a move right. Dawn Marie now is up on the ring apron and SHE REVEALS HER G-STRING TO BURKHEAD. We go to a different camera angle and we see Burkhead’s reaction. Burkhead is tapped on the shoulder and Simon picks him up. Simon hits the Simonizer (fireman’s carry into an inverted DDT). Burkhead does a wacky twitching selling job. Simon covers Burkhead and gets the one, two, three.

The Enforcers (Simon Diamond and Swinger) defeated Dave Burkhead and Adrian Byrd when Diamond pinned Burkhead with the Simonizer in 0:02:17. Rating: -3/4* (The Enforcers (Simon Diamond and Swinger) retained the NAWA tag team titles.)

Simon is up and we cut to the Enforcer’s locker room where we see C.W. lying face down. Shane Douglas then rushes from the back and attacks Swinger and Simon with a tire iron. Dawn Marie protests in the ring and FRANCINE RUNS FROM THE CROWD. Francine rips off Dawn Marie’s skirt. Dawn Marie tries to cover her ass but Francine boots her in the midsection. Francine then picks up Dawn Marie in a power bomb but spins around letting everybody see a view of Dawn Marie’s ass. We here a clicking of cameras and FRANCINE POWER BOMBS DAWN MARIE. Dawn Marie’s thong snapped. Her bare ass is exposed.

[commericial]

“The Boss” has signed a new match for Truth or Consequences. Francine will face Dawn Marie in the first ever “Pants Me” match. The rules are very simple. The first person to rip the skirt off her opponent will be the victor. Both competitors are required to wear thongs underneath according to the rules of this match.

“Super Nova” plays and out comes Nova. Nova enters the ring for this one on one match.

“The Perfect Crime” plays and out comes Little Guido Maritato with Sal E. Graziano and Tony Mamaluke. This may be an important match in the Cruiserweight division.

Little Guido(w/Tony Mamaluke and Big Sal) vs. Nova The bell rings and Guido and Nova lock up. Guido with an arm lock and Nova is struggling out of it. Guido now with a hammerlock and Nova is getting forced down to the canvas. Reversal and Nova with a hammerlock of his own. Both men are up to a neutral base. They lock up and Guido with a kneelift. Guido now grabs the arm and armbar takedown. Going for the fujiwara armbar but Nova fights his way up. Hiptoss is hit from Nova. Nova now with an armdrag and floated into an extended armbar. Guido bridges up and arm wringer no Nova flips out and kick to the midsection. Double Under Hook Rocker Dropper is hit from Nova. The referee makes the count: One, Two, Kickout. Nova now Irish whips Guido in. Somersault roll and monkey flip out of the corner. Nova now hits an elbowdrop. Cover: One, Two, Kickout by Guido. Nova picks up Guido. Into the ropes and Nova with a dropkick to the kisser. Nova runs the ropes but Tony trips him. Nova hits a plancha onto Tony and Sal but Sal catches him. Sal then posts him and rolls him back into the ring. Guido now grabs Nova and arm wringer. Guido twists the arm causing Nova to flip to the mat. Guido now drops a knee to the arm. Guido climbs to the top rope and Guido flies off with a double axe handle chop. Cover hooking the leg: One, Two, Kickout. Guido now with some stomping and he picks up Nova again. Kick to the midsection and an armbar takedown. Guido rolls Nova over and covers him: One, Two, Kickout. Guido now grabs the arm of Nova and hits an arm breaker. Guido hits a second arm breaker and a third. Guido now covers Nova again and one, two, Kickout. Guido whips Nova into the corner. Nova hits shoulder first and Guido with an armbar takedown. Guido locks in the fujiwara armbar. That’s one his main moves. The referee is checking Nova and Guido sneaks the feet on the ropes. The referee looks at Guido and Guido plays innocent. The referee is checking the arm of Nova. It lifts and it falls. It lifts and it falls. It lifts and it stays up. Guido releases the hold and climbs to the ring apron. Guido slingshots from the ring apron and hits the Sicilian Slice. Cover from Guido hooking the leg: One, Two, Kickout.

Guido now with a double under hook suplex and Guido holds on. Guido now hits a second double under hook suplex and he holds on once more. Guido then drives Nova face first into the canvas with a double under hook faceslam. Guido with the cover hooking the leg: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Guido now picks up Nova and kick to the gut and Guido with bulldog to the arm. Guido now climbs to the buckles and dives off with a flying armdrag. Guido now with a kick to the midsection and a double under hook power bomb from Guido. Guido now bridges backwards and one, two, thr…Kickout. Guido now picks up Nova and armdrag into a cross-arm breaker. The referee is checking the situation. Guido could tear Nova’s arm out of the socket with this dangerous move. Nova manages to reach the ropes somehow and Guido distracts the referee. Sal enters the ring and props Nova up in the corner. Sal goes for an avalanche but Nova ducks and Sal hits the post and falls to the outside. Guido low blows Nova. Guido now picks up Nova and gut wrench suplex. Cover from Guido hooking the leg: One, Two, Thr…Kickout. Guido now picks up Nova and a suplex into a Powerslam. Cover: One, Two, thr…Nova Kicks out. Guido now is banging on the mat in frustration. Guido now whips Nova into the buckles and Guido hits a knee to the midsection. Guido hits another double under hook power bomb. Guido makes a cover: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Guido now picks up Nova and shoulder breaker from Guido. Guido now gives the signal. Guido is going to go for the Kiss of Death. Guido grabs Nova in the reverse double under hook. Nova is fighting it and he twists out of the hold. Nova backslides Guido to the mat. One, Two, Kickout from Guido. Nova then rolls up Guido in a small package for one, two, Kickout again.

Nova now hits a chop. Nova hits a second chop. Nova hits a third chop and a fourth chop. Nova then levels Guido with the final chop. Nova whips Guido in and Nova now hits a sunset flip. Guido is hanging onto the ropes but the referee kicks him off. One, Two, Kickout from Guido. Nova now whips Guido into the ropes and Nova with a frankensteiner. That move nearly drove Guido on his head and head and here is a cover: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Nova now picks up Guido and Irish whip into the ropes. Nova with a kick to the midsection and Nova hits the Novacaine. Cover from Nova hooking the leg: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Nova now whips Guido in again and another kick to the midsection. Nova hits the Spin Doctor and covers Guido again: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Nova climbs to the top rope and Nova hits a picture-perfect Dragon Rana. Cover from Nova: One, Two, No Guido rolls through into a sunset flip. Nova however rolls through and grabs the legs. Nova catapults Guido over the top rope and to the concrete floor. Nova then jumps over no he fakes Guido up and hops to the second rope. Nova then hits a picture perfect Asai Moonsault on Guido. Both men are down on the floor. Nova then rolls Guido back into the ring and Nova hits a slingshot legdrop onto Guido. Cover hooking the leg: One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Nova now with a pump handle slam and Nova climbs to the top rope. Nova hits a moonsault and makes the cover: One, Two, Kickout. Nova now lifts up Guido for the Kryptonite Krunch but Guido counters it with the Kiss of Death. Cover from Guido pulling the tights: One, Two, Three. Guido squeaks out a surprise victory.

Little Guido Maritato pinned Nova with the Kiss of Death in 0:08:54. Rating: ** ¼

Guido hits a superb counter in this cruiserweight match. The thing about these cruiserweight matches is the ending can come in a blink of an eye. Guido gets his hand raised in a token of victory.

We just heard that next week will feature a Six Man Tag. Swinger, Simon, and CW Anderson will face Shane Douglas, Chris Candido, and Brian Lee in a six-man-tag team match. The Triple Threat will face the Enforcers in a six man. Will Shane Douglas walk into that Six Man as world champion? The feature bout for tonight is Shane Douglas vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting for the NAWA world championship. But next is an Xtreme Title match between The Disco Inferno and New Jack. Will Disco fall flat on his face again or will we see a modern day miracle. That Match is next.

[commericial] “Disco Fever” plays and out comes Disco Inferno. Disco has a very reluctant look on his face. Disco has the microphone.

Disco: Just for the r-r-r-r-record. T-t-t-t-this m-m-m-match was f-f-f-forced on m-m-m-m-e by the NAWA executive board. OH MY, I’M GOING TO DIE!!! There is no kidding myself; I am going to be legally murdered tonight. New Jack, please don’t kill me.

“Natural Born Killerz” plays and out comes New Jack. New Jack has his Can of Plundah with him. Disco is literally dropping to his knees and begging for his life.

New Jack: See you in hell you little bastard. I am going to punk yo ass out muther fucka.

The bell rings.

NAWA Xtreme Title Disco Inferno vs. New Jack©

Disco is cowering in the corner. He pulls out a white flag and surrenders but New Jack isn’t having any of it. New Jack now grabs the flag and breaks it over Disco’s skull. New Jack now grabs a handicapped parking sign and dents it over Disco’s head. New Jack grabs a bottle of cheese wiz and eats some. Then New Jack clonks Disco over the head with it. New Jack grabs a pair of Have a Nice Day By Mick Foley and WHACKS DISCO OVER THE HEAD WITH IT. New Jack then grabs a game boy advanced and pops Disco over the head with it. New Jack now grabs a bottle of squirt soap and squirts it into Disco’s eyes. Disco parades around and New Jack grabs a rolled up newspaper. New Jack smacks Disco with the rolled up newspaper like a dog that just pissed on the floor. New Jack then grabs a cookie sheet and hits Disco over the head with it. New Jack hits a second cookie sheet shot to the DI. New Jack grabs a kendo stick and whacks Disco in the midsection with it. Another time over the small of the back from New Jack connects. New Jack now grabs the staple gun and he goes after Disco again. Disco grabs the fire extinguisher and gives New Jack a blast in the face with it. New Jack of course no sells this and is stalking New Jack with a stapler in one hand and a trashcan with a guitar and a sickle in the other. Disco grabs a fan’s drink and throws it in the face of New Jack. No such luck as it was only soda. Disco is now really trying to get out of dodge. New Jack has Disco. Oh great. Disco is squirming and New Jack reaches into the trashcan. There was something in their besides the guitar and a sickle. New Jack whacks Disco over the head with a license plate and shatters a vase over his head. New Jack now goes up the ramp. New Jack has another trashcan full of weapons planted for emergencies. New Jack now starts pull weapons out of the trashcan. New Jack hits Disco in the head with a broom handle. New Jack then hits him with a lamp and now New Jack hits him with a VCR. New Jack grabs the DVD Player and busts it over the head of Disco. New Jack grabs a keyboard and types with one finger before wasting it over Disco’s skull. New Jack now grabs a megaphone and yells at Disco in it before clonking him with it. New Jack then grabs a smelly boot and hits Disco with it. New Jack grabs a barbell and does some curls before hitting Disco with it. New Jack now goes behind the curtain. Does he have even more Plundah back there? Why use it because is trashcan is half full still? New Jack pulls two pre stacked tables and a ladder. New Jack now grabs a third table from out underneath the ring and stacks it on the other two. New Jack now staples New Jack. New Jack is beginning to stab that sickle into the face of Disco drawing blood. New Jack now plays a tune on the guitar and Ka-Bongs Disco with it. New Jack then finally picks up the Trash Can and Disco and drags Disco up the ladder. New Jack bonks Disco with the can and sets him on the tables. New Jack then puts the trashcan over Disco and climbs is climbing up. There is scaffolding so New Jack is climbing higher. New Jack is on the scaffold and he climbs even higher. New Jack is on top of the scoreboard. New Jack is 30 feet above the Disco Inferno. New Jack plays to the crowd but the crowd is interesting in something else. A guy in an Elvis costume is coming from the crowd. “Elvis” climbs up and pulls Disco off just as New Jack dives. NEW JACK CRASHES THROUGH THREE TABLES. HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT. “Elvis” throws Disco on top and the bewildered referee is getting ready to come. Come on it can’t end this way. Cover: One, Two, Three??? Oh my god. Hell has frozen over. We have a new Xtreme champion and his name is the Disco Inferno.

No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Disco Inferno defeated New Jack after via pinfall in 0:04:09. Rating: * (Disco Inferno won the NAWA King of Extreme title.)

Disco is obvious to the fact that he won the belt because he is out cold. Our friend in the Elvis suit departs through the crowd and the referee puts the Xtreme belt over the shoulder of the Disco Inferno. I think I can here Terry Funk and Mick Foley shaking their heads in disbelief. Disco didn’t get one offensive move in unless you count a fire extinguisher spray and a drink to the face, which didn’t even faze New Jack. Disco is not even awake to enjoy his victory. New Jack is stunned because of falling through those tables. Disco finally gets up and he is trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head. Disco looks at a fallen New Jack who is being put on a gurney by paramedics and Disco looks down at the Xtreme title belt at his feet. Disco now gets up and puts two and two together. Disco now grabs the microphone.

Disco: I told you I could kick his ass. I am now the Xtreme Champion. Look who is walking around as champion and look who won’t even walk for a few hours. New Jack since the ex-champion gets the first rematch I will grant you your title shot at Truth or Consequences. Don’t expect to win because I beat you once and I can easily beat you again. This time however I am going to take it a step farther and make sure you spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair.

Disco fluked his way to the Xtreme Title. New Jack had the wind knocked out of him by missing that patented New Jack dive off the scoreboard and crashing through three tables. And what is up with that guy in the Elvis costume. Did Disco know about this?

[commericial]

Disco Inferno will face New Jack at Truth or Consequences. Will Disco get lucky a second time.

“Bodies” by Drowning Pool plays and out comes Scott Steiner with Midajah. Scott Steiner has a big world title shot in 10 days at Truth or Consequences. The Power Company are in the ring. They are the victims er opponents of Scott Steiner tonight.

Handicap Match C/center>The Power Company vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah)

The Power Company goes for a double clothesline of Scott Steiner but Steiner ducks and levels them with a double Steiner line. Steiner then whips Power Company I into the buckles and then he whips Power Company II into Power Company I. Power Company II then eats a German Suplex release. Power Company I staggers out of the corner and overhead release belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner then hits an Exploder on Power Company I. He picks up Power Company II and does the same thing. Power Company I is put face down and Power Company II is dragged on top of him. A double Steiner Recliner from Poppa Pump. The Power Company is helpless. The referee calls for the bell and Scott Steiner is your winner.

Handicap-Match Scott Steiner defeated The Power Company when S. Steiner made PC I and PC II submit to the double Steiner Recliner in 0:01:08. Rating: *

Scott Steiner is up and he looks at the camera. Steiner makes the I want the belt motion around his waist.

Cyrus is in the back with Sting.

Cyrus: With me is Sting who is moments away from a shot at the NAWA world title. Sting are you ready.

Sting: Cyrus I am ready for this night. I am going to be the NAWA world champion on my second match in the company. Get ready to rock and roll Douglas and Jarrett because it’s SHOWTIME FOLKS.

[commericial]

“Perfect Strangers” plays and out comes Shane Douglas. This is our main event. This match will be contested under three way dance rules. The last man in is the NAWA world champion. Shane wants that belt as bad as anything and it would be good for a bad night so far for the Triple Threat.

The Cho-Cho-Chosen one is heard followed by “Cowboy” by Kid Rock and out comes Jeff Jarrett, the NAWA world champion. He has defended that belt against several top-notch opponents but tonight he has two of them to deal with.

The lights go out and the blue lights come on. “Seek and Destroy” by Metallica plays and out comes Sting. We see blue scorpion spotlights come down on the ramp as Sting comes to the ring.

NAWA world title three-way-dance Sting vs. Shane Douglas vs. Jeff Jarrett© The bell rings and Douglas and Sting are double-teaming Jarrett. Into the ropes and a double back elbow is hit by Douglas and Sting. Sting and Douglas now with a double atomic drop and a double clothesline on Jarrett. Sting and Douglas now hit a double kick to the midsection and Douglas holds Jarrett. Sting goes for a dropkick but Jarrett moves. Shane gets hit. Now Shane is all hot and bothered. Shane shoves Sting and Sting shoves back. Jarrett, of course, goes back to a corner to watch this. Sting and Douglas are unloading on each other with punches. Sting whips Douglas in but Douglas reverses. Sting re-reverses and Sting splash no Douglas catches Sting and hotshots him. Shane pounds on Sting and Sting reverses it and unloads some blows onto Shane. Shane now rakes Sting’s eyes and whips him in. Shane now with a belly-to-belly suplex which made a thundering hit to the mat. Shane with a cover and Jarrett sneaks to the outside. One, Two, Thr…Jarrett puts Sting’s foot on the ropes. Shane sees the foot but Jarrett ducks underneath the ring so Shane thinks it is Sting getting to the ropes. Jarrett is on the outside and Shane now goes for the Pittsburgh Plunge but Sting with a rib shot and Sting reverses. Scorpion Death Drop from Sting is hit. Sting covers Shane hooking the leg: One, Two, Thr…Jarrett pulls Sting off. Sting advances on Jarrett but Shane rolls up Sting from behind. Cover from Shane: One, Two, Thr…Jarrett stomps Shane from behind. Shane advances on Jarrett but Sting grabs Shane. Shane and Sting are trading fisticuffs and Jarrett grabs a chair to sit in the corner. Shane now kicks Sting and goes for the franchiser but Sting covers with an arm breaker. That was on the sensitive arm. Jarrett now jumps Sting when his back was turned. That’s our world champion for you. Jarrett then throws Shane behind Sting. Sting turns around and Sting sees Douglas. Sting now kicks Douglas and rams him into the buckles. Sting is going for the Stinger Splash but Jarrett pulls Douglas out of the ring and Sting hits the post. Jarrett then rolls Douglas back in.

Douglas is up and he sees Sting. Douglas now picks up Sting and fisherman suplex. Bridged from the Francine and the referee counts: One, Two, Thr…Jarrett drops a knee to the ribs of Shane Douglas. Jarrett rolls to the outside but Sting just sat up and is behind Douglas. Sting now grabs Douglas and is unloading on him again. Sting and Douglas are whipped in but Sting and Douglas clothesline each other. Jarrett is overjoyed and he is putting the boots to both men. Douglas and Sting get back up and Sting goes for a swing but Douglas ducks it. Douglas now hits a clothesline to the back of the head of Sting. Douglas now picks up Sting and another thundering belly-to-belly suplex. Shane now turns to Jarrett. Jarrett has the chair and he drops it. Oh boy he got caught now. Shane kicks Jarrett in the gut and Franchiser by Shane. Shane now covers Jarrett hooking the leg. One, Two, Thr…shoulder up. Sting is up and Sting now spins Douglas around and Sting is jabbing away at Douglas. Double-Leg Takedown. Sting is going for the Scorpion Death Lock but Douglas rakes him in the eyes. Shane now goes for the Plunge but Sting with a small package. One, Two, Thr…Shoulder up. Sting and Shane now are fighting again and Sting whips Douglas in. Stinger Splash from Sting and Douglas bounds out of the corner. Sting now with a sunset flip on Douglas but Douglas rolls through and clotheslines Sting down to the mat. Jarrett however grabs Douglas from behind and pitches him. Sting grabs Jarrett and single-leg pickup. Sting is going for the Scorpion but Jarrett is struggling. Jarrett reaches up and grabs the referee. JARRETT RAKES THE REFEREE IN THE EYES. Sting now turns Jarrett over and the referee is holding his eyes. Jarrett is tapping out but the referee is down in the corner holding his eyes. Jarrett would have been eliminated if not for that dirty trick he pulled. Sting realizes the hold and thinks he got Jarrett to submit. Sting now pulls Shane into the ring. Sting whips Shane in and Stinger Splash. Double-Leg Pickup. Scorpion Death Lock is applied to the Franchise. Shane reaches the ropes and the observant referee sees it after clearing his vision. Sting now picks up Douglas and whips him in. Going for another Stinger Splash no Douglas moved and Sting hit the buckles. Douglas now grabs Sting and BRIDGING BACK SUPLEX. The referee is counting: One, Two, Three. The bell rings. But it was only one fall. Was the official informed of Jarrett’s submission? Douglas is the new champion. Douglas grabs the belt and holds it up. Shane has won the belt. But the official snatches it from him. The referee hands the belt to Jarrett. The ring announcer has the call.

Ring Announcer: The referee has declared that the fall between Shane Douglas and Sting was a double pin and it eliminated them both from the match. So your winner and STILL NAWA WORLD CHAMPION JEFF JARRETT.

Triangle Match Jeff Jarrett defeated Sting and Shane Douglas: x double pin (Douglas and Sting) in 0:09:53 Rating: ** 1/2 (Jeff Jarrett retained the NAWA world title.)

Shane Douglas is livid. He thought he was the NAWA world champion for all of 30 seconds. Jarrett is celebrating.

Wait a minute. Here comes Commissioner Steamboat and he has a microphone.

Steamboat: Because of that controversial decision I have decided to do this. Scott Steiner will meet Jeff Jarrett for the NAWA world title. Sting will meet Shane Douglas to declare the number one contender for the belt. And at the end of that night the winner of those two matches will meet for the NAWA WORLD TITLE.

A mini-tournament of sorts at Truth or Consequences. That will be big. See you next week folks.