Inside Out
Chapter 1
Sitting in 1 studio, Morgan is recording her 6 rock songs, her
little 5’6” 130lb frame sitting on a wooden stool in front of a mic, with her
waist length reddish / pink ratted out hair kept falling in her face…her latest
tattoo on her ankle was itching something fierce…obviously healing. She’d been at this bullshit recording for
nearly 3 hours…but she was big on perfection and besides if she didn’t get it
right, Dani would definitely throw her back into the studio to re do them…and
do them right.
Sitting in another studio, Daniella is recording her 6 R & B
songs, her taller frame of 5’9” and 125lbs, was sitting on the carpeted floor
trying to find a comfortable position laying down so her diaphragm wouldn’t get
smashed when she was doing the long notes.
Her long black hair that was nearly past her ass was fanned out along
the floor as her violet eyes stared at the ceiling…she was pulling on her navel
ring with her pinky finger…trying to get some notes right…the key was a little
off.
Morgan and I make up the 2 person group that was us…we decided a
long time ago, when you mix heavy Rock with heavy R & B…it’s nothing but a
destruction phase getting ready to start…So as a 2 person group we dubbed
ourselves Sisters Of Destruction. Of course
the record company ate it right up.
We were signed to different labels, but were a fully functional duet. We did songs together and we did songs
separate. Morgan being the Rock
influence was signed to Rounder with 12 Stones…
Me being the R & B influence I was signed with Republic
Records…I was the first and only R & B artist to be signs to an all Rock
Record company…the record Executive said he saw something there he’d never
imagined…he said I might have had R & B, but there was definitely a little
Rock there also…and he’s see how I did.
Morgan’s cell phone started to ring…as she said a silent thank
you to God for finally getting a break she picked up the phone and said, “Hello.”
“Hey baby.” The familiar voice on the
other line was her long time boyfriend Paul McCoy…he was also a Rock singer…he
was the lead singer for 12 Stones…they’d worked their butts off as long as we
had and they had just started hitting it big…
Paul was currently on tour and he must’ve got 5 seconds to
himself in order to call Morgan. They
had meet 6 months ago when they decided to do a duet together…And they’ve been
together ever since.
They spoke on the phone for about 15 minutes, and then Morgan
informed our manager she needed a ‘bathroom break’…Morgan walked down to the
ladies room and locked the main door…and made sure no one else was in it. She pulled her little vial out of her pocket…she
just needed a pick me up…something to help her finish the recording time…
As Morgan let the angel dust enter her nasal cavity…she
instantly felt like a million bucks…like she was 10 feet tall and bullet proof…and
could do anything. She dropped a few Visine
drops in her eyes to take the red out…and she headed back to the studio.
I wrapped up my recording and walked over to check on Morgan…she
was wailing on the microphone like you couldn’t believe it…every song sounded
like total gold. She winked at me and I knew she’d be finished soon…She looked a
little tired…Hell she looked how I felt…so I could only imagine how she felt
and how I looked.
We wrapped up the session and took off to our 2 bedroom Penthouse
in New York City…our rooms were on separate ends of the pent house…As soon as
we got home…we crawled into bed and immediately fell into a peaceful slumber.
I woke up
early the next morning and went for my daily run…when I came back Morgan was
up, showered and dressed, sitting down eating breakfast…I walked in and ruffled
her reddish-pink hair and said, “So when’s lover boy coming home?” Morgan grinned and said, “He should be home
in a few days…when do we start recording the songs we sing together?”
I smiled and said, “In about 2 hours…so drink some warm honey
lemon tea…I’m gonna go grab a shower.” I
took off down the hallway to my room and jumped into the shower…
Morgan watched as Dani disappeared down the hall and listened
for her to step in the shower…walking quickly and quietly she hauled ass back
to her room and locked the door…digging through her dresser…she knew she had an
extra vial some place…she’d used the last of the Angel Dust yesterday for her
recording pick me up and now Dani informed her she was going to finish up their
3rd album today…of all days…
Morgan had gotten zero sleep…and now she was crawling around on
the floor on her hands and knees like a wild pig…DAMNIT! Where was her extra party stash…she hid it
from herself all the time…trying to hold out and only using it when she
absolutely needed it…she only used it this much when they were in the recording
studio…
Morgan flipped her long hair out of her face as she crawled into
the closet and started digging through boxes and boxes of every different kind
of drug she’d tried…2 huge boxes housed the little ones…1 box for the good shit
that she would always go back for more…and 1 box for all the nasty stuff that
she didn’t like using because of the way it made her feel.
FINALLY!
Morgan crawled out of the bottom of her closet and had two full vials
½ full of Angel Dust…she’d use one now and one at the studio when she needed the
pick up. She poured it out onto her
mirror made her lines…and slowly inserted the straw into her nose…she had to be
careful once she did too much at one time and got a nose bleed…she knew she had
a bad, BAD addiction…but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her best friend
since kindergarden.
Morgan slowly snorted the white powder, and slowly felt herself
come to life…she went ahead and snorted the rest up her other nasal cavity…she
basked in the tingly feeling…and then go up and went to the bathroom washed the
mirror off, flushed the vial and straw, then blew her nose…so none of the white
powder ever made an appearance under her nose…
As we rode in the limo the studio sent…I said, “Don’t forget we’ve
got a performance to do at the MTV Video Music Awards…that’s next week Thursday
night, so we really need to figure out what we’ll be wearing…plus you and Paul
will be presenting an award…and I’ll be presenting an award with some bad
tempered foul mouth rapper named Fred Durst…apparently he’s reputation is notorious…I
can’t imagine why they’d put me and him together…”
Morgan giggled and said, “Well…maybe thy wanna
see if you two can get along…ya never know…it could be interesting.”
I smiled and said, “Yea…I guess it could be interesting.”
We continued to the studio and worked into the wee hours of the
morning.
- -1 Week Later…MTV VMA’s- -
I was sitting in a dressing room in the back…looking over my
outfit…Black plastic pants, matching steel toed boots and a matching tank top
with spaghetti straps. MY long raven
hair had tons and tons of spiral curls throughout it.
Morgan was down in a separate dressing room in the same outfit
as me only it was bright red. Her
reddish-pink hair was in long dreads that one of the hair ladies had done for
her to keep it out of her face. Morgan
reached over and locked the door…one more pick me up.
She grabbed a bottle of Sunny Delight popped the cap off, and
pour half the vial into the bottle, replaced the lid and shook it for a few
minutes, then down the small bottle in 2 second. She could feel the orange juice and angel
dust sliding through her system. She
needed the vitamin C…and snorting the dust before presenting and then before a
live performance was something she never did.
She didn’t want to look like she was completely cracked out.
I watched as Morgan and Paul walked out and presented Best Song…they
made the crowd laugh. I was trying to
keep the butterflies to a minimal…then one of the backstage guys walked up and
said, “Daniella, we had a small re-route with presenters…Fred Durst said he
wasn’t going to present with some half and half group…he didn’t know if you was
the Rock or the R & B side so…we’ve got someone to put in his place…Hey
Sonny c’mere really fast.”
I looked over and the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen in my life
walked towards us…he had on black jeans, tenny shoes, black t-shirt that said ‘San
Diego’ in the middle in red letters. He
had big chocolate brown eyes, long waist length brunette dreads, and go-tee
that matched his hair.
I thought I recognized him and the stage hand said, “Daniella St.
Jaymes…I’d like you to meet Sonny Sandoval…he’s the lead singer of POD.” I smiled and said, “Ah…Payable on Death. Satellite is a great album.” We shook hands, he smiled and said, “Thank you…It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled and said, “Yea you too.” I nearly dropped to the ground when he smiled
at me.
I said, “So were doing best kissing scene in a music video…how
do we wanna do this?” Sonny said, “Well…I’ll
let you take the lead…you seem a little more confident about this whole thing.” I said, “Are you insane…I’m a bundle of
nerves right now…I’ve never done something like this…I’m used to just
performing and then leaving.”
Sonny said, “Well the nervousness doesn’t show…either way I’ll
let you take control of it once we get out there.” I said, “You don’t have a girlfriend or a
wife…I don’t wanna piss anyone off…or incite a jealous rage.” Sonny laughed and said, “No…so the floor is
pretty much yours and you can do whatever ya want…what ever makes you feel
comfortable.”
They announced us and we walked out
together and over to the podium…Sonny said, “Were presenting Best Kissing Scene
in a Music Video.” I said, “Hey Sonny
how do you like to kiss?” Sonny said, “I
dunno…What do you mean Daniella?” I said, “Well…Do you like to kiss fast? Like this?”
I grabbed his fast and pecked his lips…and continued, “Or do you like to
kiss slow? Like
his?” I cupped his face and brushed my
lips against his and He kissed me back, he wrapped his arms around my waist…I
felt his tongue slide into my mouth…as our tongues dueled…I could hear the
crowd going insane.
We pulled apart, and as Sonny fell back on to the stage, sprawled
out…I smiled deviously and said, “I think he likes number two…so while you
figure out how you like to kiss…check out the nominees for Best Kissing Scene
in a video.
When the segment was over, Sonny and I walked back stage and I
said, “I hope I didn’t frighten you too much.”
Sonny smiled and said, “Where did you learn to kiss like that?” I smiled and said, “Plenty of practical while
in St. Josephs all girl catholic school.”
I walked away with a sway of my hips, I peeked back and sure enough Sonny’s
eyes followed me.
*****************************
Daniella:
I see how your trying to
Weasel your way in my mind
I know how you maneuver
With your confusion
Morgan:
You tell me that I’m your only
And how bad that you want me
Well then why are you so shady
If I’m supposed to be your lady
Daniella:
Why should I believe…anything you say
And how could you shame me that way
Morgan:
Tell me where…where did you get the nerve
To even think that you…you could play me wrong
Both:
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Morgan:
Now your trying to use us
Daniella:
Against one another…but it won't work
Morgan:
I see right though your game boy
Daniella:
And I know exactly where to play boy
Morgan:
You tried to deny all your actions
Daniella:
For once in your life be a real man
Morgan:
At least give me the proper respect of…
Daniella:
The truth
Both:
I already know you did it
Morgan:
Why should I believe anything you say
And how could you shame me that way
Daniella:
Tell me where…where did you get the nerve
To even think that you…you could play me wrong
Both:
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Both:
I see right through you baby
Try not to be like you don't want me
Why don't you get it through your thick head
Daniella:
Why don’t
you just get it through you tick, thick, thick, thick head
Both:
Cause I’ve seen this game before
And I’m not trying to see it no more
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
I’m not trying to hear your lies
No not again…
Daniella:
No-No Not again
Morgan:
Sorry…you couldn't be a better man
Both:
Oh……No
Oh….No…Oh-No…Nooo
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Morgan:
Guess you thought wrong
Daniella:
Look who's laughing…now
Morgan:
You so stupid
*****************************
When the
song was finished, we walked off stage and the sounds of the crowd cheering
were near deafening. We definitely went
back to pent house that night with some sweet images to put under our pillows.
For some
reason or another after the MTV VMA’s I kept running into Sonny, every where I
went I seemed to run into him…even late one night I was at the studio re-doing
a couple of my tracks…I took a break to get some water…I was walking down the hallway…and
wasn’t paying attention and hit a chest and fell back onto my ass.
I leaned to the side
and was rubbing my now sore booty…when I looked up and came face to face with
Sonny…I said, “We really have to stop meeting like this. Sonny squatted down and said, “You
okay?” I said, “My ass hurts…but I’ll
live.” Sonny took my hand and helped me
up to my feet…
Sonny said, “Sorry
about that…Can I make it up to you?” I
said, “What did you have in mind?” Sonny
said, “How about some dinner…I know a really great restaurant around the corner
from here” I
smiled and said, “You got it.” Sonny
offered me his arm and I looped my hand around his bi-cept and we took off
walked down the street.
We walked into this
small little Mexican restaurant…and Sonny seated me and then went up and
ordered out food. We talked while we ate
and just generally got to know each other.
Sonny said, “So you’re one half of the sisters of destruction…how long
have you guys been singing together?” I
said, “Since high school…we’ve known each other since forever…and when we
started singing together we just had a sound that seemed to click…which is why
we were sucked up so fast into contracts.
We were signed by 2 different labels because of our music styles…”
We laughed a lot over
dinner and then walked back to the studio…we talked a lot more while sitting on
the floor of the studio…by the end of the night, Sonny had asked for my phone
number…and I wrote it down and he saved it in his cell phone. As I saved his in my cell
phone. Sonny lived in San
Diego…this was going to be an interesting relationship if there was one. I had a beach house in Santa Monica…guess I’d
be there on my days off.
A few weeks later,
Sonny and I started seeing a lot of each other…I got to meet his mother…who was
diagnosed with cancer…she was fighting it as hard as she could…she was a sweet
lady…Sonny’s mother and father were divorced so when he was a boy he would
bounce between the 2 homes…
Since we started
dating, Sonny’s mom invited me over Sunday’s for dinner with the rest of the
family. I in turn asked Sonny’s mom to
come listen to me record a song for a soundtrack to some movie that wasn’t out
yet. Sonny brought her up to the studio
and I immediately started…
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
I think I like
How your body feel next to me
Aw baby when you kissing me
aw baby when you loving me
I can't describe
What I want to do to you tonight
Aw baby when you come to me
I'll make it so you'll never leave
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
See I don't know
If I can handle you as just a friend
Aw baby I can't pretend
Aw baby I'm so far in
But I don't mind
As long as I could have you in my life
Aw baby I'm satisfied
Even if you're not just mine
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Boy you make me not the same
Aw baby, aw baby, ooh baby, ooh baby
Can you feel me when we say
Aw baby, aw baby, ooh baby, ooh baby
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Oh, Mmmm, love you baby
Mmmm, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah
Oh Mmmm, love you babe
Mmmm, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah
When it was finished she said it was
beautiful…
A few weeks later…It had been 3 weeks
since I heard from Sonny…No messages, no e-mails…and no visits…I couldn’t
imagine what was going on.
So I went to San Diego
to find out what was going on… went to Sonny’s house and knocked on the door…
Sonny answered and I
said, “What’s going on?” Sonny said,
“What are you talking about?” I said,
“We’ve been dating for a few months and then all of a sudden 3 weeks with
nothing from you…is every thing alright...is it your mom?”
Sonny said, “No…Noni is alright.” I
said, “Then what’s going on with us?”
Sonny said, “I’ve been meaning to call you…I just don’t think that we
are going to work out…” I stood and
watched as he started messing with his go-tee…
I said, “Really…and
what brought you to that conclusion?”
Sonny said, “I just started
realizing that I do Rock…you do R & B…people are going to give us so much
shit about not being from the same musical influence.”
I said, “How’s come
this smells like a line of bullshit? No
one has said anything to me about the different musical genres…if they haven’t
bothered us now…why would they even start.”
Sonny said, “Maybe they
were saying it to me…and I just haven’t said anything to you about it…” I said, “No cause in the short amount of time
that I’ve known you…you never had a problem telling me or anyone else
anything…you’re by no means the type of person to keep shit in…and you know
it.”
We were standing on the
porch talking...I had my arms crossed over my chest in defense mode and I said,
“So this is it?”
Sonny shoved his hands
in his front jean pockets and said, “What the fuck you want me to say?”
I said, “I was just
hoping you could be honest with me, instead of being a chicken shit lame ass
fucker.”
Sonny’s head popped up
and looked at Dani…she was pissed and he knew it…but he didn’t have the heart
to tell her the truth…there had been a few minor details to his life that he’d
left out…things along the line of him having an ex-wife and a daughter…and they
had reconciled a few weeks ago…which is why he had to think of some type of
lie. But she’d totally seen right
through it.
I glared at Sonny and
said, “I’ll see you around…oh wait…no I won’t…”
The whole phrase ‘I
wouldn’t piss in your mouth, even if your teeth were on fire’ came to mind as
Daniella walked away.
Chapter 7
A few weeks
later…Morgan and I were invited to the Playboy mansion for new album (s)
release party…a bunch of bands were gonna be there…Limp Bizkit, POD, Kitten, All
Saints and a few other bands.
Morgan had disappeared
into the bathroom…she had been doing that a lot lately…that girl and her
bladder…she always said she had a hamster bladder I guess I just never noticed
it until now.
I was walking around
the back yard and watched as the all male bands messed with the playmates. A few guys from Limp Bizkit…had more then one
girl on their arms…Some girl walked up to me and said, “Are you Daniella St.
Jaymes?” I said, “Yes I am…how may I
help you?” She smiled and said, “I’m Amy
Sandoval…I’d appreciate it if you kept your slut ass away from my husband.”
I said, “Sure lady as
soon as you tell me who your husband is.”
She smirked at me and
said, “Sonny Sandoval.” I said, “Excuse
me?” That Amy girl smirked and said, “I
take it he forgot to mention he was married for the few months he was seeing
you…oh and he’s got a kid with me…but the reason he broke up with your ass is
because were back together…so I suggest you stay away from my man.”
I said, “Fine by
me.”
I turned to leave when
she ran around and stood in front of me and said, “I’m serious when I say stay
away from my husband…he’s a great man.”
I said, “What makes him so great?”
Amy smiled and said, “He dropped the whore and came back to his wife and
child.”
I said, “What makes you
think he’s such a great man when he didn’t even tell his girlfriend of 5 months
that he was married.” She pulled her
hand back and slapped me across the face…it was like the slap heard round the
world…every one stopped what they were doing and looked up to see what was
going on.
I smirked and said,
“Thank you so much for giving me a reason to defend myself.”
I pulled my arm back
and belted her right in the face…her ass hit the ground like a sack of
potatoes…Sonny ran up and said, “Dani, what the fuck?” I shoved him and said, “You tell your
wife…Mrs. Sandoval…If she ever touches me again…she’s gonna wind up down there
and become more then personally acquainted with the ground again.” I walked through the mansion and out the
front door to my Toyota RAV 4…
“Excuse me.” A voice said behind me…I stopped and turned
around and came face to face with a blue eyed hottie…I planted my hands on my
hips and said, “Something I can do for you junior?” He said, “Damn…Nice Right hook to the bitch
that was messing with ya.”
I walked back towards
the house…and said, “I don’t fight…I just don’t like getting slapped…if
someone’s gonna hit me then god damn hit me…no slapping or hair
pulling…Daniella St. James.” I stuck my
hand out and he took it and shook it and said, “Fred Durst.”
I said, “You’re that
guy…the one who didn’t wanna come on stage with me at the VMA’s…something about
me being a newbie.” Fred smiled and
said, “Well…don’t believe everything you hear and also, I just came to tell you
that your friend…Morgan…she’s upstairs in the bathroom and won’t come out.”
I took off upstairs and
Fred followed me…the door was locked and I could get the door open…Fred reared
back and kicked the door open…I looked in and Morgan was passed out on the
floor with blood coming out of her nose in gallons…
I ran over and as I
tossed my cell phone to Fred, I said, “Please call an ambulance.”
Chapter 8
Rushing through the
doors of the Emergency Room of Cedar Sinai Hospital...I went immediately to the
nurse’s station...I said, “Excuse me...but they just brought my friend in
here...Morgan Hill...she was passed out in a bathroom and an ambulance just
brought her in.”
The nurse said, “You’re
just friends? You’re not a family member
or next of kin?”
I said, “No.”
The nurse said, “I’m
sorry, but only family or next of kin is allowed medical information or in to
see patients.”
I grabbed the nurse by
the collar of her perfectly bright white pressed nurses uniform and pulled her
half way across the counter and said, “Look lady...I don’t give a shit, what
you need...Morgan has been my best friend since Kindergarten and if you don’t
tell me what the fuck is going on with her...you’re going to find yourself in a
lot more pain they you ever thought possible...”
I cleared my throat and
continued, “So take my fingerprints, do a retina scan, a pap smear, throat
culture, CBC, WBC, RBC, and get a pint of blood while your at it...and call
about my driving record...but one way or another I wanna talk to a doctor and
find out what’s happened to me best friend of nearly 16 years!...If you
understand what I just said nod your little head and then carry your prissy ass
down to the ER and get me a doctor...NOW!”
The nurse nodded and
she took off down the hallway as fast as her little legs would carry her...
3 minutes later a
doctor came back with the nurse following him...she kept poking him and
pinching his ass to get him to walk faster.
He just basically told us, she was barely stabilized and that he
wouldn’t know anything until her tests came back...which would be another
hour. Fred just stood next to me with
his hands in his pockets.
Fred watched the raven
haired beauty as she nearly wiped the nurse and her seed from the earth...he
was about to say something...but he felt a twinge when he heard the panic and
pain in Dani’s voice...
Fred actually wanted to
laugh...he’d never seen a nurse or doctor in Cedar Sinai move so fast...they
were usually pretty lazy about patient care...apparently Ms. St. James was
gonna be keeping them on their toes while Morgan was in attendance.
I looked over at Fred
and said, “What?” Fred threw his hands
up in the air in defeat and said, “Hey...I’m neutral...I can along for the
ride.”
I slumped against the
wall and I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks...I said, “I’m sorry...I
just hate the waiting ya know? I don’t
know what’s wrong with her...she’s been my best friend for so long...and my
singing partner in crime even longer...I don’t know what I’d do if something
ever happened to her.”
Fred walked over and
took my hand he said, “C’mon...Let me buy you a shitty cup of coffee in this
joint...it’s gonna be a while before they can really tell you anything.”
We walked over to the
elevators and got in as soon as the elevator doors closed I
leaned against the wall and started crying...
Fred being a man wasn’t
sure what to do...poor thing he was basically thrown into it all. Fred grabbed the girl and pilled her to him
letting her cry on him...he wrapped his arms around her...and could feel the
tiny ladies body racked with sobs. He
got her calmed down and they sat in the cafeteria drinking several cups of
coffee and just talking.
And...waiting...
Chapter 9
As Fred and I sat in
the cafeteria talking and waiting…I had completely forgot all about
Paul…Morgan’s boyfriend. I called Paul’s
cell phone right away and told him what had happened…it was a good thing he was
in town with the band otherwise he’d have to leave touring to come back and see
her…He was totally beside himself he had to have his drummer drive him to the
hospital..
Fred and I walked got
back to the ER…we had just walked in as the doctor came out and said, “I’m
sorry Daniella…But has Morgan ever acted funny…seemed like she just wasn’t with
it?” I said, “No…why? What’s going on?”
The doctor said, “We
gave her a drug screen test and she came out positive for Angel Dust, Cocaine,
and some other highly dangerous drugs.
She’s been ingesting them through her nasal cavity…which by the looks of
it…she’s been doing this for roughly about 6 years.”
I said, “No, that’s
impossible…we got to drug free schools and talk about not doing drugs…” The doctor said, “Well…obviously one of you
was only drug free and able to talk about it.”
I nearly fell over...
Fred could see Dani
swaying a little and looked like her legs were gonna give out on her...he
stepped a little closer and wrapped his arm around her waist...she didn’t fight
him on it...infact she grabbed his hand that was resting on her hip. He could feel her body shaking from head to
toe...she was struggling to stay on her feet and not collapse in a big puddle
on the ground.
I said, “What...What’s
the next step...How can I help her get through
this? What can be done?” The doctor said, “Well...there’s a very good
rehab facility about 30 miles from here in a small town were most famous people
go to rehab from drugs and alcohol. We
can have her transfer and checked into there when she gets more stable.” I said, “Okay...Do I have to sign
anything?” The doctor said, “Yea...I’ll
have the nurse draw the papers up and then bring them into you so you can sign
them.”
I said, “When can I go
in and see her?” The doctor said, “C’mon
I’ll take you up to the Intensive Care Unit.”
I looked at Fred and said, “Would you mind coming with me...I know we
just met and every thing but I really don’t wanna be up there alone.” Fred nodded and said, “Yea...If you want me
to come with you sure.”
Fred held onto her as
they rode up to the 5th floor to the Intensive Care Unit. Fred watched as she walked in and immediately
went to Morgan’s side and grabbed her hand...the shorter girl with the pinkish
red hair had pale-pale skin...almost no color at all. He watched as Dani stroked her hair and
squeezed her hand, trying to get some kind of response out of her unconscious
friend, but nothing seemed to work.
Fred made himself
comfortable on the floor against the wall with his elbows resting on his bent
knees and looked up when Dani joined him on the floor also, he watched as she
pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She still had the sniffles from crying in the
elevator. Fred reached over and handed
her a box of Kleenex.
I looked up and took a
tissue and said, “Thank you...I know you must think I’m some kind of cry baby
or something...I’m really sorry I dragged you into all of this...If you want to
leave you can.” I felt more tears sliding
down my cheeks and Fred scooted closer to me and said, “Hey...everything is gonna
be okay...and believe me when I say If I didn’t wanna be dragged into it...I
would of stayed at the release party. I
don’t think you’re a cry baby...I think you’re just having a normal reaction to
just finding out a friend was in trouble.”
I said, “I didn’t even
know she was doing drugs. The doctor
said she’s been doing it for around 6 years...we’ve been best friends since
kindergarten. How could I not know she
was hooked on drugs...I’ve been so busy the last 6 years from trying to get us
record deals to recording 3 albums to touring and modeling to whatever...I
couldn’t take 5 minutes out to just ask her... ‘Hey how are you doing
today?’...I’m a horrible friend. This really
sucks.”
I checked my watch it
was almost mid-night...I hadn’t realized how late it was...Fred pulled me over
and laid my head in his lap and I started to feel my eyelids getting
heavy...and I could feel Fred running his fingers through my hair which was
totally relaxing me.
Fred watched the raven
haired beauty as she slowly fell asleep...she needed it...she’d had a rough
day. He had to admit...he’d never wanted
to be closer to anyone in his life then he did her right now...having her fall
asleep in his lap was just a bonus. And
soon he felt sleep take over his body.
Chapter 10
In the morning...My
eyes fluttered open as the sun slowly peaked through the blind in Morgan’s
hospital room. SHIT! I completely forgot where I had been all
night. I slowly sat up and pulled my
long hair off of Fred’s lap. It was full
of static from the floor...so I just pulled it up into a ponytail...I slowly
stood up...listening to every bone in my body pop and crack from sleeping on a
hard concrete floor all night.
I looked over and Paul
must’ve come in during the night some time, while we were sleeping, because he
was asleep in the chair next to Morgan’s hospital bed. Fred saw who I was looking at and jumped up
and said, “Do you know him?” I said,
“That’s Paul...Morgan’s boyfriend. He’s
the lead singer of the Christian Rock band 12 Stones.” Fred said, “I thought he looked
familiar...good band.”
I stifled a laugh and
Fred said, “What?” I said, “You listen
to Christian Rock?” Fred smiled and
said, “Well...yea...of course...why wouldn’t I?” I said, “The author of Break Stuff...the song
that says fuck more then a porno, listens to Christian Rock?”
Fred chuckled a little
and said, “What? So I was having a bad
day when I wrote that song...Don’t tell me you don’t have bad days...especially
after that performance at the VMA’s...That song had a lot of feeling behind
it...who wrote it you or Morgan?”
I said, “Me...” He said, “Why?” I said, “A couple of years ago I ran across a
real smooth talker...and an even smoother actor...told me everything I wanted
to hear and then some...we got engaged and then I found out he was actually
cheating on me with another girl...and when she found out about me...she was as
pissed off at him as I was.”
Fred stuffed his hands
into his pockets and said, “Yea...so how did this other girl find out about
you?” I looked at Fred and smirked. Fred said, “You didn’t...did
you...You little shit...you did.” I
laughed and said, “Of course I did...why should I be the only one pissed off
about a man cheating on me...when two pissed off females are better then
one.” Fred nodded and said, “True.”
I walked over and
kissed the top of Morgan and Paul’s heads and Fred and I left the room to go
down and get some more coffee...When we got back Morgan was awake with Paul
sitting next to her and our manager Ross had finally gotten there...Morgan made
everyone but me leave the room.
I sat on the foot of
her bed and said, “Morgy, what happened?
I mean...was it something I did...I mean...we’ve been best friends for
so long and I didn’t know you was hooked on drugs...why didn’t you tell
me.”
Morgan said, “It wasn’t
anything you did...it was just something that happened...I kept saying I was
only using it to get through the recording times...and then it was just to get
through the really long concert nights...but the more excuses I used to try and
quit...the more reason I came up with to have to use it. I was a mess and I knew it...hiding vials and
bottles of it from you...little plastic white powder filled bags...Every time I
tried to come tell you I needed help...I found another reason to keep using
it. I just kept snorting it up my nose
or mixing it with orange juice or whatever I had on me at the time. I think once I even poured it into a sandwich
and ate it.”
I said, “Oh Morgan...you
know you can tell me anything and I’ll help as much as I can. You’ve been my best friend for nearly 16
years...and I almost lost you...well I refuse to lose you now. I had the doctor draw up some papers there’s
a rehab place 30 minutes from here...you’re going and I don’t want any
argument.” Morgan nodded and said, “This
was a huge wake up call Dani...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I said, “No...It’s ok...Just don’t keep
something like this from me ever again...or I swear the next thing up your nose
will be my foot.” We looked at each
other tears sliding down our cheeks...hair all messy and we just busted out
laughing...we couldn’t help it.
2 days later, Morgan
was released and then transfer to Wondering Hills Rehab Retreat. She had to de-tox for 72 hours...and then start therapy, activities...and was allowed 2 phone calls
every week. It was a 5 month plan...it
was for people who’d been doing drugs for 5 years or more. Ross decided to cancel our new album tour due
to undisclosed reasons.
Me on the other
hand...since I had 5 months before anything was going to happen with Sisters of
Destruction...Fred and I started getting a little closer...when Limp Bizkit
went on the road for there new album, Fred asked me to join him...and I was
only too happy to get away from actual performing while on a tour.
Chapter 11
One day, the guys from
the band were relaxing before the concert that night...most of them were
playing basketball...I was sitting in the grass area writing some lyrics for a
song...Ever since all the drama with Morgan had happened I started thinking
more towards the Rock edge and not so much R & B...
Fred was helping me get
out my aggressions...which I was really thankful for him being there to help
me. I tried calling Morgan at the rehab
center a few times...but she wasn’t accepting phone calls from anyone who
wasn’t family.
I thought I was
family...
I couldn’t keep my mind
on the writing for some reason...My mind just kept drifting back to Morgan...I
wanted to talk with her so bad...Fred must’ve noticed I wasn’t staying
focused...he came over and I felt like I was being watched...I looked up when
the shade appeared over me out of nowhere...and said, “Something I can help you
with?”
Fred leaned down and
kissed the top of my head as he sat next to me in the grass...He said,
“Concentration not what it used to be?”
I said, “Lately no.” I leaned
against Fred’s shoulder and said, “I wanna talk to Morgan so bad.” Fred said, “I know you do baby...But you
can’t force her to take non-family phone calls.” I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes...
I sat up and whipped
the tears off my checks that had escaped my eyes. Fred pulled me back into his arms and started
blowing raspberries on my neck and shoulder...he knew it tickled me and I
couldn’t help but crack up laughing. I
finally squealed out an, “Uncle...UNCLE!!!”
Fred said, “You done
being sad?” I smacked his arm and said,
“No! Shit head.” Fred laughed at me when
I made a face towards him...he flipped me over and swatted my ass and I laughed
again, he said, “You wanna go for a walk?”
I smiled over at him and said, “Yea.”
Fred stood up and pulled me up with him...
We walked around the
arena...in the middle of walking Fred took my hand in his and laced our fingers
together...we’d been on tour together for the last month and a half and this
was the first time he’d touched me intimately...I looked side ways at him and
half smiled at him. Fred said, “You
don’t mind do you?” I shook my head no
and gave his fingers a squeeze.
I said, “I know I can’t
force her to take non-family calls...but I just wish she’d call me...she’s been
calling Paul...he’s been trying to help her as much as I want to...but she just
won’t except help from me...and I can’t figure out why.”
Fred said, “Maybe she’s
ashamed...I mean you guys have been friends for so long...maybe she’s ashamed
because she couldn’t come to you and admit to you that she had a drug
problem...Denial is the worst thing in the world next to shame...I’ve done shit
in my past I’m shamed of.” I said, “Yea
right like what?”
Fred swallowed hard and
said, “It was probably about 4 years ago...when we started taking off...and
getting more popular...me and a few of the guys from the band who were single
did a sleazy porn movie with a bunch of sleazy half porn stars...” Fred must’ve seen the look on my face and he
said, “See...Told ya...but I think the best lesson I learned from that was
wearing a condom...I wore tons...and even though I did wear condoms...I got
tested...Thank GOD all my tests came back negative. The hardest thing would
have been telling my mother I got some kind of incurable disease from a girl
who I made a porn movie with...how brutal is that?”
I giggled a little and
said, “Pretty brutal...my mother would beat my ass.” Fred laughed and said, “Yea...Mine would
too...which is why...I pray to God every night she DOESN’T find out. She would beat me within an inch of my life.” I said, “Good...you need to be spanked a few
hundred times. I bet you was a brat growing up.”
Fred said, “Me? Never...Okay,
well maybe just a little.”
I couldn’t help but
laugh again.
Fred leaned against a
door jam and pulled me against him and said, “So what have you ever done and
feel ashamed now?” I smiled evilly for a
second and fisted the collar of Fred’s t-shirt and said, “I’m ashamed I hit
Sonny’s wife...who the hell am I kidding...I’m just ashamed I didn’t hit her
hard enough for her mother to get a bruise.”
Fred took my fist out
of his shirt and said, “You’re a feisty one...I’m gonna have to keep my eye on
you.” And his kissed my fist. I got milli-inches
from his lips and while looking into those deep blue eyes, I said, “You do that
Mr. Durst.” I looked down at his bright
red lips and pressed the softest of kisses to his lips. I pulled away, smirked a little and walked
away.
Fred said, “Ah hell
no.”
I laughed and took off
down the hall way, with Fred hot on my heels.
Chapter 12
As I was being pursued
by Fred, I ducked into a spare dressing room...and waited for Fred to catch up
to me...as luck would have it, Fred walked by the room I was in...
I reached out and
jerked him into the dressing room, closing the door and turning the light off
behind him. I pushed him against the
wall...And his hands slowly went around my waist as he pulled my tight against
his body. I kissed his lips and this
time he took over the kiss...
Fred cupped my face in
his hands and immediately deepened it...Fred moved around to where I was up
against the wall...My hands went up the insides of Fred’s t-shirt and I could
feel his skin, so soft and totally touchable...I relished the feeling of his
tongue softly caressing every inch of the inside of my mouth.
I can feel his hands
slide from cupping my face down to my neck and then slowly down my arms, and to
around my waist and then down to cup my butt.
Fred lifted me up a little and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands stayed under my butt so I wouldn’t
fall...He trailed kisses down along my jaw line, to my ears and to my
neck...his soft lips make their way across my throat and I totally melted in
his hands.
I pulled away and I
could hear both of our labored breathing...I said, “What the heck was that all
about?” Fred laughed a little and said,
“I don’t have a clue...You wanna tell me what that kiss was all about at the
other end of the hallway?” I said, “I
figured since you weren’t making that much of a move...I might as well give you
a run for your money.”
Fred reached over and
flipped on the light and saw her lips were a little full from the kisses...he
watched as a slow smile spread across her face and finally got the meaning of
what she just said...she was attracted to him as much as he was to her...and it
was okay to be more forward with her...
He was being careful
because he didn’t wanna scare her...but now that she made the first move...he
hoped they could work their way into a relationship...he really was fully
attracted to her...and for some reason...it was a stronger attraction then to
anyone else he’d dated in the past...
Fred thought back as
they left the room and down the hall hand in hand...When he secretly dated
Britney Spears...wow...that was a big mistake...everything about that bitch was
fake....boobs, hair, eyes, teeth...the bitch had caps on her
teeth...fuck...what the hell...nothing was fake about Daniella. She was gorgeous from head to toe...he
couldn’t understand why that piece of crap Sonny Sandoval would be so cruel and
heartless to her.
The more he thought
about what Sonny had done to Dani...the more pissed off he became...He always
was known for having a bad temper...and just generally not putting up with
peoples shit. He was actually happy to
have witnessed her socking Sonny’s wife and knocking her out cold. Of course it would have been nicer if it
would have been Sonny she socked...he really deserved it.
Fred was pulled from
his thoughts as he felt Dani’s hands on him again. Fred looked down at her and she was touching
his arm with her free hand...
I said, “You better go
start getting ready...you’ve got a show in less then 30 minutes.” Fred said, “You’ll be here when I get
back?” I smiled and said, “Where else
would I be? If you haven’t forgotten I’m
on the tour as your guest.” Fred leaned
over and softly kissed my lips and said, “How could I forget?”
I watched as he walked
off for the concert.
Chapter 13
When Fred came off the
stage a couple of hours later, he jumped in the shower and got cleaned up. I was sitting in the hallway on one of the
huge equipment trunks. Fred walked out
and grabbed my hand and I walked with him out to the limo...we’d be staying the
night and moving onto the next town in the morning.
Fred laced our fingers
together and I said, “So! Tell me more
about these porno movies of yours.”
Fred busted up laughing
and said, “You’re asking for it.”
I said, “What? It will give us something to watch
later...you know instead of me watching you sleep...it could be me watching you
do something freaky with a complete stranger.”
Fred pointed at me and
said, “Oh that’s it! That is it!!”
I laughed as I took off
running down the hall, Fred caught up to me, grabbed me and threw me over his
shoulder and then smacked my ass while he carried me out to the limo...
We rode in the limo
over to the hotel, Fred checked us in...Fred had been getting me my own room,
because nothing was really happening between us...the clerk across the counter
handed me my room key and I slid it back across the counter to the lady...Fred
looked at me questioningly and I slowly pulled his key out of his back
pocket...where he’d just placed it and started walking towards the
elevators...Fred said, “Uhhhh Daniella...”
I turned around and said, “You comin’ or not?” Fred’s eyes suddenly grew bigger as he
figured out what I was doing...
Fred looked at the
clerk and tossed him a 50 and said, “You keep all phone calls away, hotel
employees, fans and visitors...and you’ll get another one when we check out
tomorrow.”
The guy looked down at
the 50 dollar bill and said, “Yes Sir Mr. Durst.”
Fred grabbed his bag
and caught up to me at the elevators.
One we got into the elevators and the doors closed he said, “You’re just
full of surprises tonight aren’t you?” I
smirked and said, “You think so huh?” It was a slow ride to our floor and I
reached over and grabbed the collar of Fred’s t-shirt and pulled him to me...He
had his hands on the wall and was looking into my eyes.
Fred watched Daniella’s
mouth slowly open and watched as her soft, wet tongue snaked out between her
lips and slowly stroked his bottom and top lip.
And then watched as her tongue dampened her own full
red lips.
Out of the corner of
his eye he watched as Daniella’s hand slid over to the control panel of the
elevator and hit the stop button...when her tongue touched his lips again his
hands grabbed her hips and pulled her against him and he kissed her with a
fevered pitch. They almost lost
control...but Dani kissed him solid once more and pulled away as she reached
over and hit the button and the elevator continued its journey.
Upon arriving to the
room...Fred looked around and checked things out...he didn’t notice the growing
pile of clothes on the floor by the door.
Fred heard a loud attention getting whistle in the sitting area and
walked out of the bedroom and saw Daniella standing by the kitchen nook in a
t-shirt that barely reached mid-thigh...he watched as she walked towards him.
I stopped just to the
side of him...he turned his head to look at me and I said, “I’m gonna go to
bed...when your finished inspecting the room...lock the door and turn the
lights off and come to bed...I’ll be waiting for you...” I walked behind him and stripped my panties
and bra off, but left the t-shirt on and said, “Oh...can you hold on to these
for me.” I laid the panties over his
right shoulder and the bra over his left shoulder and walked into the bed room...
I pulled the t-shirt
off and laid under the covers in bed.
Fred looked down at his
jean cover erection that seemed to be growing bigger and bigger by the second
and said, “I don’t think we should keep her waiting long do you? ......Yea...me
neither.”
Chapter 14
**S M U T Warning**
Fred pulled the red
lace matching lingerie off his shoulder and looked at them...he could already
smell Daniella’s scent in the cotton crotch of the lace panties. He threw the sexy lacy garments over his
shoulder and walked into the room. On
his way to the bed he stripped off his T-shirt, shoes, socks, jeans and boxers.
Fred
started at the foot of the bed, and slowly got under the covers and crept up
the bed kissing and licking along Daniella's long soft legs. He could hear her squealing and giggling at
the certain places that he kissed starting with her knees...and slowly spread
her legs apart and was kissing up the insides of her thighs...he slowly ran his
tongue up her soft wet slit.
Fred heard the throaty
moan that came out of her sweet mouth and nearly cam without doing a damn
thing...just the sound of her voice being that aroused was enough for him. His tongue reached out and rubbed against her
clit a little and he watched as she fisted the sheets of the bed in her
hands.
Fred decided it was
enough torture and started slowly making his way up her body, kissing and
licking up her navel. Up and around her perky nipples and watched as they
hardened even more. Fred completely
moved up her body and started kissing her neck and then cheeks, and finally her
lips...
I could feel his
erection rubbing against my center. I
smirked and pushed Fred over onto his back and started with his neck, and
licked and kissed my way down his body, outlining a few of his tattoos with the
tip of my warm wet tongue. My tongue
slid against his skin slowly going lower and lower.
I got to his
erection...and I guess you could say I French kissed it...which got a very fast
reaction out of Fred...something along the lines of a ‘Holy Fuckin’ Shit’...He
exhaled deep and I giggled a little...
Fred lifted the covers
to see me and said, “I know you’re not laughing at me...” I couldn’t help but laugh more and said,
“No...Never...okay maybe just a little.”
Fred reached down and
grabbed me pulling me back up to sit straddled on his lap...I moved a little
and rubbed my soaking wet center against his aching erection. And felt him suck in a breath and said,
“Don’t do that again.” I moved just a
hair and another gasp of air sucked in as he gripped my hips and flipped my
over onto my back and settled himself between my
thighs.
Fred said, “I guess I
should ask now...Do you want me to wear a...”
Before he could finish,
I put my index finger against his lips to hush him...and I pulled him down and
we slowly took each other lips in a sensual kiss that seemed to never end...
Fred’s erection slowly
enter Daniella’s warm silky center...if he wasn’t careful he’s cum and it would
be completely over...Once fully sheathed he sat still for a minute...but when
Daniella’s hips started moving and she was kissing his neck and ear begging for
him to take her and make her cum harder then she’s ever cum before...it was all
Fred’s undoing.
He slowly started to
move in and out of her...her soft moans were enough to make him harder and
hornier if that was at all possible at the moment...it was. The moonlight was shinning just enough in the
room that made it look like Daniella was glowing...and the look on her face was
pure bliss...Fred started thrusting faster...the sounds that filled the air
were moans, and groans and bare flesh smacking bare flesh...It was the sound of
two people making love...and Fred loved to hear every single sound, noise and
moan in the quiet room.
Fred felt Daniella’s
walls starting to clamp down around his erection as he felt his own orgasm
growing....he could feel her’s ripping through her body as she laid under
him...as soon as he felt her cum surround his erection there was nothing
holding him back...he suddenly pushed all the way into her and groaned out his
orgasm.
I felt him explode deep
inside of me...and I felt completely satisfied for the first time in my
life. Fred slowly pulled out of me and
gathered me in his arms...he kissed around me face and lips for the next 15
minutes, while we got our breathing under control...
Soon we fell asleep in
each others arms.
Chapter 15
The next
morning...Daniella’s eyes slowly fluttered open...she felt a pair of arms
around her that felt familiar and suddenly the night’s extra curricular
activities came flooding back to her.
I touched the hands
touching my mid-drift...I moved around and in a raspy voice Fred said,
“Morning.” I giggled and said,
“Morning.” I put my lips against his
forehead and kissed him lightly and said, “I’m going to go shower...Sleep a
little longer and I’ll wake you when I’m finished.” Fred said, “Or how about we sleep a little
longer and shower together in a little bit.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him and said, “Perfect.”
So, we slept a little
longer and then got up and got in the shower together...when we got out...we
got back to the bus and took off to the next town for the guy’s tour. While we were on the bus...I pulled my laptop
out and jumped online to check the news...somehow I ended up on MTV.com...and
the breaking story was Morgan getting out of rehab early and going on tour with
12 Stones and Paul McCoy her now fiancé????
What the hell...Morgan
was out of rehab and hadn’t even called me...to let me know she was doing
ok...They even had a new video for Morgan and Paul...I clicked on it and was
watching as the music played...
*****************************
Morgan:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a...soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead...it...back...home
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan:
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe...into me
And make me real
Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: I've been living a lie
Paul: There's nothing inside
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Morgan:
Frozen...inside without your touch
Without your love...darling
Only...you...are the life...among...the dead...
Paul:
All this time
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
But you were there in front of me
Morgan:
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything...
Paul:
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Morgan & Paul:
Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong
Morgan:
Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: I've been living a lie
Paul: There's nothing inside
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life............
*****************************
When the song was
over...I was sitting at the table silently crying...Fred came over and said,
“Baby...what’s wrong...” I pushed the
laptop over to Fred and he read the news article on Morgan and saw the video
and knew I was upset because Morgan hadn’t bothered to call me...or contact me
at all...
Fred pulled me in his
arms and I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 16
A few weeks later, the
tour finished up and I went to my apartment...I looked all over the apartment...Morgan
was no where to be found...her clothes...and practically all her belongs had
been moved from the room. Fred had come
to the apartment with me...apparently he’d had a house close to where we lived,
about 6 blocks from us...
I called Morgan’s cell
phone and got nothing from her...I left numerous voice mails...it was like she
had totally disappeared off the face of the earth. So I called the next best person Paul...I
said, “Paul...where the fuck is Morgan?”
Paul said, “Daniella, don’t get bent out of shape with me...this is
between you and Morgan.”
I said, “Paul...she’s
my best friend...she’s the closest thing I have to a sister...and now she just
up and leaves...this is so not cool Paul...so you can either tell me where she
is...or I swear by God and all that is holy...I will have every fuckin’ cop
looking for her!” Paul said,
“Dani...this is really out of my hands...Morgan just wants to be left alone right
now...we got engaged and were tying to focus on the wedding and
everything...just let her be for a while...she’s only been out of rehab for 2
weeks...she’s still getting used to her life without drugs.”
I said, “Yes, well if
you ever wanna get her started back on drugs you know who to get a hold
of...you CHICKEN SHIT FUCKER!” I slammed
my flip phone closed and threw it across the room and it hit the wall and
broken into a few thousand pieces.
Fred came over...and
said, “Just a guess...but it didn’t go well.”
I looked up and giggled a little and said, “What gave it away?” He said, “Well...chicken shit fucker...was
kind of a hint...but the whole exploding cell phone was like a huge sign.” Fred pulled me close to him and kissing my
forehead and rubbed my back and said, “C’mon you come stay at my house for a
couple of days...well get you a new phone tomorrow...you can even come with us
to play basketball.” I said,
“Okay...good plan.”
So the next morning, we
went down and Fred helped me pick out a new cell phone...and then we ran by the
police station...Limp Bizkit’s death threats were getting a little
crazy...they’d been having a few on and off...but the one the night before was
a little physical with 10 bricks through bedroom and living room windows. Death threats weren’t uncommon for the
band...but bricks through the window and so many at once...was definitely new. We all walked down to the park that was 2
blocks from Fred’s place and the girls watched as the guys played some
basketball...me and Heather (Wes Borland’s wife) were laughing and making fun
of the guys...we’d decided to head back to the house to grab some water and
we’d be back...
We got back to the
house...and there were 3 cop SUV’s in the driveway of Fred’ place...we ran up
and the police chief said they’d finally found out who’d been stocking the
band...and it wasn’t the band the stalker was after...it was Fred. Some deranged female fan who said his music
was telling her to kill him. Said song
number 10 on the album said to kill him on the 10th day of the
month...but before the girl could get arrested she took off...
I suddenly realized it
was the 10th day of the month.
The cops asked us where the guys were and we said the park...we jumped
in the SUV’s and showed them where the guys were playing basketball...We pulled
up and jumped out and just as we were running across the park lawn...
Everything started
going in slow motion...I watched as Fred walked over to the far wall and
grabbed his t-shit and pulled it on...and then stopped to tie his shoe...as he
stood up...gun shots start ringing through the park. A cop threw me to the ground and every one
started hitting the ground...I was clawing trying to get away from the cop, but
he wouldn’t let me go.
I looked up and could
see Fred’s body lying prone on the concrete of the basketball court. A couple of cops finally rushed the woman and
had her cuffed and I scurried to get to Fred’s side...he wasn’t moving...I got
to him and blood was coming through his t-shirt at his right shoulder and in
the middle of his chest...I said, “DJ and Wes give me your shirts...now.”
They pulled their
shirts off and I packed the wounds...I grabbed Wes’s hands and put them on
Fred’s chest and said, “Keep pressure there...it should slow the bleeding...I
packed the other shirt in Fred’s shoulder and lifted his head onto my lap. I touched his forehead and his eyes were
slightly open...and his baby blues were...
Fred touched his
chest...he had his cross on and he gripped the chain and pulled it hard and
broke the chair and grabbed my hand and put the cross in the middle of my palm
and closed my hand up in it...Tears streaming down my face and he beckoned me
to lean over and he whispered in my ear, “Give it back when I live...I love
you.” I said, “I love you too...” Fred passed out...from pain or loss of
blood...I cried harder...
“Fight! C’mon Fred...hold on a little longer
baby...Please....Please don’t leave me...Please.”
The EMT’s rushed up and
loaded him into the ambulance and I rode to the hospital with Heather and Wes.
Chapter 17
- - 2 Weeks Later- -
I sit in ICU room 215,
looking at Fred...he’s paler then normal...he’s such a white guy...he needs a
tan...I watch as the breathing monitors and tubes expanded Fred’s chest to help
him breathe...it had been 2 weeks since the whole stalker shooting...I haven’t
left his side once.
Morgan showed up for
like 5 minutes...just enough to look through the glass to see me sitting by
Fred’s side...but she never walked in or anything. I saw her through the window...she just
looked at me and then looked at Paul and walked away with him.
- -2 More Weeks Later-
-
I didn’t know who to
cry for more...I was crying for Fred to wake up, but I was devastated that my
best friend of 16 years had cut off all contact with me. The nurses had showed me how to change Fred’s
bandages...so I stood up and pulled the bandage off...it had been nearly 3
weeks since the whole incidence...and Fred was nearly healed...but for some
reason he wasn’t waking up...
I ran my fingertips
lightly across the scar on his chest, over his rib cage...suddenly, a small
chuckle came from Fred’s mouth, as a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed my
hand and he said, “No...Stop...that tickles.”
Tears sprang to my eyes
instantly as I grabbed his hand with both of mine...for the first time in 4
weeks, Fred’s eyelids, slid open and he lazily looked around the room...His
precious blue eyes were a sight for sore eyes.
Fred saw Daniella with
tears streaming down her cheeks...and noticed she was wearing the cross he’d
given her the day he’d been shot...he moved around a little and was stiff...he
couldn’t imagine how long he’d been laying in the hospital bed. Fred lifted his arm and touched Dani’s cheek
and whipped her tears away and then pulled her to him...She laid her head on
his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
A couple of hours
later, the nurse had come in and raised Fred up to a sitting up position...The
doctor came in and said, “Mr. Durst, you’ve been in a sleeping coma for 4
weeks...yet you’re body has fully healed from the wounds you sustained...We’re
going to run a few tests...but you should be able to leave tomorrow
morning.” The doctor left and I stayed
in Fred’s arms, never moving.
I said, “You do
realize, with them discharging you tomorrow...you’re staying with me from now
on.” Fred chuckled a little and said, “I
don’t mind...I like being with you.”
Fred kissed the top of my head and pulled me all the way into bed and
pulled the covers over me…we both fell asleep.
In the morning the
hospital released Fred and I drove him to my apartment. We walked in and I set his stuff down in
Morgan’s old room and said, “You can keep your stuff in here for privacy and
you can sleep in my room or in here, where ever you feel more comfortable.”
Fred saw Dani get quiet
when mentioning Morgan’s name she’d told him Morgan and Paul showed up for 5
minutes, and neither came in or say anything to her...pretty much forcing her
to deal with what was happening to him on her own. Fred walked up and nuzzled her neck and she
seemed to snap out of the daze she was in...
And turned around and
leaned into his body...he held onto her and she said, “Why don’t you relax a
little I’ll get dinner started...” Fred
gave her a soft kiss on the lips and said, “I’ll unpack my shit and then lie
down, wake me when you’re ready to eat.”
She nodded and gave him a wink and a pushed off his body with her hips
and walked out.
Fred started hanging
his clothes in the closet...then he noticed about 20 different shoe boxes
sitting in the bottom of the closet...He squatted down and pulled them
out...they were all sitting on a mobile tray...obviously so Morgan could pick
out a pair of shoes with ease.
Fred picked up a big
box thinking it was a pair of boots and opened it...he nearly had a heart attack. The whole box was full of bag and vials of
cocaine and angel dust. One big mirror and a box of razors to cut and chop up the drug. Suddenly the door swung open and Fred dropped
the box as Dani was standing there.
I must’ve startled him
I walked over giggling, Fred had fallen back onto his rear end and dropped his
shoe box...I said, “Are you okay sweetie?”
Fred looked pale...like he was going to throw up. I squatted down next to him and said, “Are
you ok?” Fred just pointed to the box.
I leaned over and
picked it up and all the contents fell out of it...I started to fall back but
Fred caught me.
Fred looked at
her...Dani was in complete shock.
Chapter 18
Fred watched as Dani
moved slowly to her hands and knees and crawled over and kept his eyes on her
as she slowly started pulling the lids from the boxes...each box revealed
something new...one box had nothing but empty vials that once held cocaine or
angel dust...one box had nothing but bottles and bottles of caffeine pills
sleeping pills...uppers...downers. Another box full of mirrors caked with angel
dust or cocaine...it was like a big fuckin’ drug buffet.
Fred saw the tears
streaming down her cheeks he felt useless...there was literally nothing he
could do for the young lady that held his heart in her tiny hands. Fred watched as Dani walked out of the room
and came back with a big card board box and a roll of duct tape. He watched as she slowly picked up one box
put the lid on and taped it on and placed it in the box...she did that with all
the boxes.
After she finished she
taped up the cardboard box and pushed it out to the living room and just stood
looking at it. Fred could have sworn she
looked defeated. Fred walked up behind
Daniella and pulled her into his arms and she broke...she started crying. Dani said, “I don’t understand what I did
wrong...I haven’t heard from Morgan in months...not since she went to
rehab...She showed up to the hospital after you were shot and stood outside
your room and looked at me for like 5 seconds and then walked away with
Paul. She’s supposed to be my best
friend...my sister...But I don’t even know what we are anymore.”
Fred kissed the top of
Dani’s head and rubbed her back...trying to calm her while whispering soothing
words in her ear. Fred finally calmed
her down enough and said, “What do you wanna do with the box?”
I looked up at Fred and
suddenly felt a rage in me I hadn’t felt in my entire life. I walked over and called down to the parking
garage and had the guy pull my car out of the garage and had someone walk up
and take the box to my car. I said, “I
have to go do this on my own...Order some pizza I should be back in a couple of
hours.” Fred kissed my lips lightly and
said, “Be careful.” I smiled and said,
“I will.” I left.
When I pulled up to the
rich ritzy looking Apartment complex...I asked for Paul McCoy’s apartment
number...shocker...My name was on the guest list, of people who didn’t have to
have an appointment to come. I walked
into the elevator and pushed the 15th floor button...When I got to
the apartment; I pushed the little doorbell...and heard Paul’s voice say, “I’ll
get it Morgy.” Paul opened the door and
said, “Daniella...What are you doing here?”
I shoved the box into his arms and said, “Just bringing Morgan her shit
that she left at my place when she decided to leave. I’m sure you can see that she gets it.” I walked back down to the elevator and pushed
the button again.
A few minutes later a
voice behind me said, “Why did you bring that junk to the apartment?” I turned around and Morgan had changed her
appearance her pink hair was gone and in it’s place was electric blue with
black streaks...I scoffed and said, “Junk it might be, but it’s your junk...you
left it in your old closet...Fred found it...I figured if you was going to have
a new apartment you should have all your shit with you.”
Morgan said, “Where is
this attitude coming from...why are you being such a bitch...you haven’t seen
me in months and you can’t even say hi...or how are you doing since you got out
of rehab...You’re just gonna throw a box of drugs at Paul and act like a
bitch.” I said, “Okay fine...Here let’s
start again...ready?” Morgan being the
naïve one...nodded.
I said, “Hi...how are
you feeling since you got out of rehab...I hope you’re doing well because
you’ve been out of rehab for months and haven’t called me once...and how’s that
fiancée you’ve got...I sure hope he can still fuck you 6 ways from Sunday like
he could before...Oh and by the way, congratulations on getting engaged I read
it on MTV.com right after I saw the music video you two made together...how
precious...oh and just so you know, you don’t have to ask about Fred, cause he
lived...he’s out of the coma and staying with me until he finishes healing from
those gun shot wounds and ripped through his chest and nearly killed him that
were inflicted by some fuckin’ psycho fan...Thanks for showing up at the
hospital for like a split second to give me some kind of poor-poor pitiful me
look...I’m recouping nicely...considering I was damn lucky one of those bullets
didn’t hit me too...”
I finally breathed for
a minutes and said, “Is that the attitude you was talking about? Because from where I’m standing honey it
wasn’t attitude it was just months and months of frustration that was built up
while worrying whether or not how my singing partner, my best friend...my
fuckin’ sister was doing...You didn’t even call me...You could have
called...you could have e-mailed...hell you could have fuckin carrier pigeoned
a message to my ass...but you didn’t...you just pretended I didn’t exist.”
I started to have tears
slide down my cheeks and said, “I don’t even want to talk to you...after months
of being ignored by you...I have so much more I want to say, but I can’t
because looking at you right now makes me physically ill...I want to puke right
now...you couldn’t take 3 small seconds out of your life to call me...You will
never know what it feels like to be shit on like this. I hope some day you really know what this
feels like. If I would have done this to
you...then you’d know. It hurts more
then I’m telling you.”
I walked in the
elevator the door were open, Morgan walked over and said, “Thank you...Thank
you very much.” In her ‘how could you
make me feel so bad?’ voice.
I looked at her, and
pushed the button to close the doors, as they were closing I looked at her and
said, “Fuck you very much.” The doors
closed and I couldn’t stop myself from crying...I drove back to the apartment,
and went to bed...I couldn’t eat. Fred
tried to get me to talk. But what more
could be said...honestly.
Chapter 19
Morgan walked back to
her and Paul’s apartment, in total disbelief...she couldn’t believe the way
that Daniella had just treated her...like she was some common gutter rat street
punk. What the hell did Morgan
know...she really should have called Dani when she got out...she knew how
worried Dani was to begin with...But pride got in her way...she refused to let
Daniella or anyone else see her at her most vulnerable time.
Paul looked at Morgan
and said, “She is pissed right?” Morgan
nodded and said, “And hurt...You were right...I should of called her...And I
should of done it as soon as I got out of rehab...what I did was so fuckin’
low...I can’t believe I just treated the only family I have like shit.” Paul pulled Morgan into his arms and comforted
her the only way he knew how...He knew Morgan may have lost the only family she
had in her life.
A few weeks later, I
released my first single for my solo album...I sent a letter to Morgan telling
her it was her decision whether or not we continued as Sisters of Destruction
or we just parted way and lead our separate lives. The one thing we always had was
music...writing, singing, playing, listening...everything was always
music...and now...Nothing.
Fred did the directing
of my first video and was also in it too...The video started off with me drive
Fred and I around the streets of LA in Fred’s Jeep...we had the top off and my
hair was flying out the top...then it cut to me being on stage rocking the song
with my band...and Fred watching over my from the side. I’d decided in the beginning of my solo
career that Fred would be my solo manager and my record label saw nothing wrong
with that. Fred was a talented guy and
they knew I was in capable hands.
Morgan was sitting at
home a month later and was switching through the channels...and stopped on
MTV...and The VJ said, “I’m happy to be introducing a first solo video from
Daniella of the Sisters of Destruction duo...The song is called Low and her new
album that hits stores in a week is appropriately titled ‘Just the Way Life
Goes’...”...Morgan turned it up and watched the video and then suddenly heard
the words that went with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody’s
talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want the sympathy
Its cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
Buy why’d you have to go
And make a mess like that
Well I just have to say
Before I let go…
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz what you did was low
No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
Except I never thought
It’d hurt this much to be sane
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go…
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz what you did was low
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so…
Soooooooooooooooooooo……
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz, what you did was low
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz, what you did was low
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so…
Cuz what you did was low…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morgan just sat
there...she knew the song was about Daniella’s anger towards her. How could she blame her...She really hadn’t
given Daniella much of a choice in the matter.
Morgan cried...she
might have lost her sister forever...but what the hell could she do?
Chapter 20
It had been a slow
grueling process but Morgan had swallowed her pride and had finally gone to
Daniella to save what was left of the Sisters of Destruction and most
importantly to save what was left of their friendship...They’d been talking now
for about 6 months...and were slowly getting back to what they once were to
each other.
Morgan and Paul had
been married now for 4 months...and Morgan was 3 months pregnant. Fred had asked Daniella to marry him a few
weeks ago and she happily accepted...he knew without a shadow of a doubt any
woman who would be willing to nearly get shot with a bullet meant for him and
then fight to help save his life...was worth breaking down his long term
commitment fears and having her in his life until the day he died.
Fred was sitting out in
the crowd...Daniella was asked to come back and perform at the MTV Music Awards
again...she was going to be performing a song that Fred had never heard but it
was a bonus track on her album that he’d never gotten around to hearing her
record or finding it hiding on the album...Somehow the song was big with anyone
who took the time out to listen to her solo album completely. Fred loved to hear her sing.
Daniella was standing
in the dressing room at the back...She looked at herself in the mirror and knew
Fred would go crazy later.
She started at her
feet...she had on 3 inch open toed heals that strapped around her ankles...and
long black leather pants that laced down her legs, plus down the front and
back...plus a matching black leather tank top that laced down the front and
pushed her breasts to the top...Not too much cleavage but just enough to show
off...Her hair had taken 3 hours...one of the hair stylists sat and spiral
curled every hair on her head after pulling it up into a point tail.
Morgan was actually the
one who got to introduce Daniella.
Morgan stood on stage with a little bit of nausea and said, “Ladies and
Gentlemen...it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the next performer
of the evening...I’ve watched as she’s grown up through the years and in the
last 12 months...she shot through the music charts with her first solo
album...when she’s used to being known as a duet albums only kind of gal...I
give to you...My best friend...My singing partner...My sister Daniella.”
Fred watched as
Daniella walked out and nearly had to run home to change his boxers...She looked
totally hot...He couldn’t get over how great her body looked...A mic popped up
from the floor and came straight to her mouth...While this moody slow bass was
filling the speakers...It was a slow seducing song...And Fred watching as
Daniella’s hips swayed back and forth in a slow motion...as her hands slid all
over her body in a sensual motion...
*******************
I'll always think of you
Inside of my private thoughts
I can imagine you
Touching my private parts
With just the thought of you
I can't help but touch my self
That's why I want you so bad
Just one night of Moonlight
With you there beside me
All night, doin' it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin me high
Can't get my mind off you
I think I might be obsessed
The very thought of you
Makes me want to get undressed
I wanna be with you
In spite of that my heart says
I guess I want you to bad
All I want is Moonlight
With you there inside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I want to feel
Your heart and soul inside of me
Let's make a deal
You roll, I lick
And we can go flying into ecstasy
Oh Darlin' you and me
Light my fire
Blow my flame
Take me, take me, take me away
Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah,
Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah,
Oooh God I really want you
All I want is Moonlight
With you there inside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
Boy, you're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
Boy, you're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
*******************
Fred was the first to
jump to his feet, whistling and clapping...yelling Daniella’s name. By the way, the outfit was definitely the
highlight of their night when they got back home.
Chapter 21
--9 Months Later--
Morgan and Paul had a baby girl that they names Alexandra Marie McCoy...She was
definitely their kid...she was a beautiful mix of their looks together...of
course minus Morgan’s new Purple hair she was sporting.
Morgan, Paul and
Alexandra watched as Fred and Daniella exchanged vows in a beautiful outside
wedding ceremony. It was lines with
white and red roses and satins all over the back yard of their new home, which
they’d found and moved into together 3 months prior to the wedding. Daniella was in a beautiful white satin dress
with white open toed heels...and Fred was in a handsome looking 3 piece black
suit...And for once in his life ditched his signature red baseball cap...
Only to be replaced by
a black baseball cap...Daniella just couldn’t help but laugh at him...he’d
absolutely refused to go without a hat...And she figured he leave it off until
after they got married, but once she walked down the isle...and he stood there
looking at her with that damn cap on backwards...she was laughing so hard she
was leaning against him...Her laugh was infectious because every one else
started laughing about it as well.
When everyone got to
the reception, they all changed into laid back clothes, jeans and t-shirts
mostly. I started to
walked into the reception hall when a hand grabbed me and pulled me into a
closet...I looked up as a pair of arms went around my waist and pulled me tight
against a body...I said, “Something I can help you with Mr. Durst?” Fred looked down and said, “Yes Mrs. Durst
you can kiss your husband.” I wrapped my
arms around his neck and said, “I think that can be arranged.”
Fred brushed his lips
against mine as light as a feather touching me...and slowly increased the
passion level...It was such a huge turn on to get kissed like that by my husband...I
was almost ready to beg him to throw me on the floor and fuck the daylights out
of me...but I knew we had guest waiting.
Fred pulled away and
said, “I love you.” I smiled and said,
“I love you too.” Fred took my hand and
laced out fingers together and said, “C’mon I have a surprise for you.” I grinned and said, “Really what?” Fred chuckled and said, “Babe...it wouldn’t
be a surprise anymore if I told you...Just c’mon.”
Daniella let Fred lead
her into the reception hall and he sat her down in a chair in front of everyone
else...and after brushing her lips with his he walked up front with Wes and
they pulled out two guitars and sat down in chairs...
Fred said, “When I
first met Daniella...I would think about her constantly...I don’t thing there
was ever a time in the months we’ve been together and engaged when I haven’t
thought of her...she’s been there with me through all the tough shit...and I
was there with her through all of her tough shit...I think it was just after
I’d been shot...and was released from the hospital...Dani insisted I stay with
her until I was fully healed...”
I smiled and Fred
continued, “So...on day she left me alone in the apartment one day and I
started writing this song...and once I started it was like I was a writing machine...I
couldn’t stop...it took me 8 minutes to write this whole song...So I waited
until the write moment to give it to her...I guess there is no better time then
your wedding day right?” I blew Fred a
kiss as they started playing and Fred started singing his soft silky
voice...usually yelling and screaming was so calm...and relaxing.
*****************************
The biggest lie you ever told
Your deepest fear 'bout growin' old
The longest night you ever spent
The angriest letter you never sent
The boy you swore you'd never leave
The one you kissed on new years eve
The sweetest dream you had last night
Your darkest hour, your hardest fight
I wanna know you
Like I know myself
I'm waitin' for you
There ain't no one else
Talk to me baby
Scream and shout
I want to know you...inside out
I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt
I wanna know you inside out
The saddest song you ever heard
The most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed
The truest vow you ever made
What makes you laugh
What makes you cry
What makes you mad
What gets you by
Your highest high, your lowest low
These things I want to know
I wanna know you
Like I know myself
I'm waitin' for you
There ain't no one else
Talk to me baby
Scream and shout
I want to know you...inside out
I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna know your soul
I wanna lose control
C'mon let it out
I wanna know you inside out
So dig down deep
And lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything baby...
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...yea-yea-yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...
I wanna know you inside out
*****************************
After Fred stood up and
took me in his arms I couldn’t help but cry...it was then that I realized
everything in my life was as it should have been...Morgan was back in my
life...and I had this great man, husband and lover in my life that I just
couldn’t seem to get enough of.
The End.