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 DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) RIVERDALE. "Well, I've just about had it," said Daddy (a.k.a. "Hap," a.k.a. "Bill," a.k.a. "Li'l Jinx' Father") Thursday night when once again his daughter wouldn't eat her spinach. "I mean, I've had it." Long known for her illogical refusal to eat spinach, a dark leafy green rich in antioxidants, Jinx provided The Whirl with no explanation of her behaviour. "Daddy said it had iron in it," Jinx spewed, "but I proved that it doesn't." "Oh yeah, that's right! Pulling that one again!" Daddy retorted. He then informed our reporter, "If she drags that [gosh darn] magnet out again, I swear I'm going to [freaking] scream. I mean, there's just so much you can take. I work hard to put food on that table, and then she turns up her nose at it." High in Vitamins A, C, folic acid, and fiber, spinach adds a lot of punch to everything from tacos to pizzas to salads. When picking out spinach, look for crisp green leaves and refrigerate in a plastic bag for up to 3 days. Texas is the third largest producer of spinach in the United States. Jinx' refusal to eat spinach and her other bizarre behaviour have been blamed for her being blacklisted from the business, and for the repeated burial of those considered to be her friends, such as the hopeless Charley Hawse. "I don't know anything about her and no spinach," Hawse, currently working as a janitor at Beppo's, told our reporter. "I don't even know her. I laughed at her when she was wearing a poncho, for crying out loud. I don't have anything to do with it!" Mother Jinx, who (according to reports) actually existed at one time, was unavailable for comment. "I'll tell you, though," Daddy, left, assured our reporter, "I'm through." |
