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January 1, 2002 Edition
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The Terror in an undated photo

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a horrifying and shocking way to ring in the New Year, The Whirl's Editor-In-Chief last evening received an ominous and threatening e-mail, allegedly sent from the Terror himself.

"We are quite certain that the e-mail is genuine," said Eugene Puce, administer of the computer system at The Whirl. "It almost certainly came from the Terror himself. And if it did, I'm sure glad I'm not in his shoes."

Received by the Editor at approximately 6:30 in the evening, the message read, in part, "...real quick," and "...December 31..." The reader is left to draw his own conclusions from these thinly veiled threats of violence, bodily harm, and destruction of property.

"We have taken the situation under advisement," said Sergeant Richard York of The Police Department. "We will definitely be keeping an eye on any activity in this particular area."

The Terror, a well-known wrestling personality, has threatened members of the staff of The Whirl in the past. He is quoted, on audiocassette, as saying to one staffer, as far back as November of 1995, "I could capture that rook right now, if I wanted to," in an obviously coded message meaning that he was planning to place a detonating device in the automobile of the staffer. The Terror also said, "I didn't find it funny," a coded message meaning that he planned on going after another staffer with a knife at approximately ten that evening.

In a directly related development, an interesting discovery was made by one of our reporters. In researching the threats made and recorded on the November 1995 tape, a tape from Monday, December 31, 1995 was also played. On this tape, The Terror is clearly heard to make a transaction of questionably legality in which, apparently, a human soul is purchased.

In addition, The Terror is heard to ask someone off-mic whether that person remembered "Moonshine."

"Now that," said Sergeant York, "I find very interesting."

The Terror was unavailable for comment.