THE WORLD'S FINEST WRESTLING NEWS SOURCE
February 27, 2002 Edition
Previous Editions of The Whirl

Latest Poll:
Is Chewbacca the final nail in the coffin of the TWO?

Yes 92%
No 7%
Whaddya mean, 'nail?' I could take down the entire PWL right now, if I wanted to! 1%

Chewbacca, in an undated photo.

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) Paravale Wrestling Limited, in a spectacular coup, have just signed the world reknowned Wookiee, Chewbacca, to a wrestling contract.

Porky Hooton, CEO of Big Stewie Entertainments, parent corporation of Paravale Wrestling Limited presided over the surprise signing at the corporation's headquarters on Monday morning. Porky told our reporter by phone, before hanging up, "Yes, we signed Chewbacca," clearly indicating that he regarded The Whirl as the exclusive news source for this astounding development.

And The Whirl is proud to have brought you this story before anyone else.

Insiders agree that this signing signals certain doom for the doomed TWO concern. "That's right! There's no doubt that this signals certain doom for the TWO," said one industry worker who spoke to our staff on condition of anonymity, "and it just goes to prove that no one, I'm talkin' absolutely no one, baby, can go up against the PWL, slack."

"Hiiih! Hach! That's how it goes, sonny," Hal Lewis informed our press pool. "And I bet I can still drive 'em wild! Hih-hih! Hach!"

The PWL's plans for Chewbacca are being kept quiet. When our reporter phoned Frank Jackson at PWL headquarters, Mr. Jackson would only say, "This is the fifth time you've called me! What didn't you understand the other four times I told you that I've got nothing to do with booking a program for Chewbacca? I've only just now gotten the paperwork from his signing." We can infer from Mr. Jackson's words that big things are in store for our favourite Wookiee, most likely involving a lengthy possession of several of the sport's most prestigious straps.

Chewbacca was unavailable for comment.

Name: Reggie Blaw
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