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 DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, wrestling personality The Terror is being investigated by The Police in the mysterious death of professional wrestling legend, Lou Thesz, the greatest world's champion of all history. The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else. Sergeant Richard York informed The Whirl, "Uh, yes. The Terror is being sought for questioning in this matter, as a result of an anonymous tip our department received. We aren't 'investigating' him, and he's certainly not a suspect in any crime. We just want to speak with him." The Police Department is investigating The Terror as a suspect. They apparently received a report from an informer that the night before Thesz' death, The Terror claimed to have turned on a wrestling special in which Thesz appeared. As Terror apparently claimed to have begun watching the special while it was already half-way finished, we can see why the red flags went up in investigator's minds. "Uh, yeah, I wouldn't put it past him," one industry insider told our staff on condition of anonymity. "I'll just bet that he had this planned for weeks, that he'd turn that special on half-way through. You can count on it." Thesz reportedly died the morning of Sunday, April 28, 2002 following heart surgery the previous week. His wife reports that he died peacefully. We at The Whirl, however, find our conjecture, hearsay, and illogical conclusions much more believeable than this report from an obviously delirious and grieving widow. Joe The Giant, who several times in the early '90s defeated with his Chickenwing the grandnephew of the legendary Thesz, expressed his sadness at the Lou's passing, telling our press pool, "I express my sadness at Lou's passing." Joe, when told that The Police were investigating Terror as a suspect in the mysterious death, added, "Well, all right. If that's the case, then I wouldn't be surprised if that Terror had something to do with it. And if it wasn't him, then it was probably some of his goons, acting under his order. He's got a long reach, that Terror. He'll blitz you, if you're not careful. But he's a heck of a leader." The Terror was unavailable for comment. |
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