THE WORLD'S FINEST WRESTLING NEWS SOURCE
June 5, 2002 Edition
Previous Editions of The Whirl

Latest Poll:
Do you think The Terror will win the PWL Title?

Yes 22%
No 77%
He better not, see. I'm tired of this, and I can't think of anything worse than him winning the most honourable title in the sport. He needs to be stopped, that's the way I see it. 1%

Bill Gargle, promoter of
Armory Wrestling Express,
in an undated photo.

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, the automobile owned in part by Amory Wrestling Express promoter Bill Gargle, called the "AWEMobile," has been impounded by The Police Department.

The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else.

The AWEMobile was apparently taken off the streets by The Police Department after an incident Monday evening in which the vehicle was observed to be driven in a reckless manner down Main Street.

"Uh, yes," said Sergeant Richard York when our reporter questioned him on the matter. "One of our officers observed the vehicle traveling down Main Street at a high rate of speed, changing lanes erratically, ignoring traffic lights and crosswalks."

Sergeant York said that the occupants of the AWEMobile were further causing a great deal of noise by blasting Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild," and constantly sounding the air horn contained within an elaborate piece of conceptual art bolted to the roof of the car.

"Bill and his stupid friends were here, watching some wrestling show on my television," said promoter Gargle's sister, Katie, 12. "They spilled some milk in the television they used to watch in the basement, so they demanded to watch mine."

Katie informs us that toward the end of the televised broadcast, Gargle and his friends were heard to begin making loud proclamations and threats, apparently aimed at someone appearing on the show.

They then quickly ran out the front door and piled into the AWEMobile.

"Yes, I saw them," said Mrs. Selma Gargle, mother of promoter Gargle. "They were yelling something about how they were going to show someone how they were real men. They got into that car, and one of them shouted something, and they took off."

Mrs. Gargle said she wasn't surprised to get the call from The Police Department later that evening.

"I've told them they need to get insurance on that car. And drivers licenses might be a good idea, too."

Promoter Gargle was unavailable for comment, being grounded and all.

Name: Marybelle Jones
Age: ??
Hometown: The North Side
Favourite Wrestler: "Dimoufey"
Favourite Whirl Feature: Uh huh, I [dern] sure loves me that wrestlin'. Yeah, uh huh. Cause, see, I watches it on the television when I talks to my Morris. Now he used to stay over at Moundville, but he and his wife hadsta move. And now they's livin' somewheres else. They always be sayin' that they's gonna send me they new address so's I can go and visits them. But they never sent it yet. My Morris says it's probly lost in the mail, or somethin'.

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