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January 19, 2003 Edition
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All kindsa vegibles go together in the Vegible Soup, which has nothing to do with no Bacon Sandwich, in an undated photo.

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, the one and only Terror is reported to have ordered Charles to get him a bacon sandwich.

The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else.

"Hoo, yeah, you got that right, baby.  Thain't no doubt about it, baby," said an industry insider on condition of anonymity.  "That Terror done asked Charles to get him one bacon-di-dacon bacon sandwich, Slide.  And I ain't slippin' you no jive, Slack."

We at the Whirl contacted the one and only Charley Hawse to ask him why we were getting a report from an obviously drunken Dr. Teeth about Terror ordering some bacon sandwich from him over to Beppo's.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," said a confused Hawse.  "Terror hasn't been in here, and he didn't order any bacon sandwich from me, as far as I know.  I don't take counter orders, I'm in charge in the back."

Hawse did go on to say, however, "But if Terror does want a bacon sandwich, he couldn't do any better than the Beppo's BLT, on sale this week for only 99 cents.  Get it the way you like it, at Beppo's."

Whirl staffer Mother Mogreasha immediately insisted that one of our junior staffers go over to Beppo's to pick her up some of them sandwiches, see.

"Because if Terror's eating them, you know that they've got to be the most honourable bacon sandwiches around."

Timouthey, whom Mogreasha referred to as "a pig unworthy of honourable bacon," was unavailable for comment.

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