I settled in to watch The Dukes of Hazzard, and it was a Vance and Coy episode, so instead, I'll go ahead and go with this. Our host is Vince McMahon, and he previews the matches in this tape.
-Hulk Hogan Vs. Greg Valentine from the Spectrum in Philadelphia, 1984.08.04
This is during Valentine's Intercontinental Title reign, apparently, although that means that the date of this match is wrong, because Valentine didn't win the belt until 1984.09.29, according to PWI. Hogan is in all white here, looking quite different.
One of the annoying things about this tape is the fact that most of these matches didn't have commentary done for them originally, so Gorilla Monsoon did voice over commentary in a studio, and it has a tendency to drown out everything else.
Hulk shows off his power and lands a few punches...and we get clipped to valentine suckering Hogan in on a test of strength. Hogan powers out of a chinlock, and Valentine bails out to the floor. They brawl on the floor a bit, then Valentine catches Hogan coming in, and drops forearms on him. Valentine must be pretty strong, because he manages to slam the 300-LB Hogan really easily. He goes to an Indian deathlock, then works on Hogan's legs. Gorilla wonders if Valentine can even get the figure-four on Hogan's huge legs. Valentine goes to the floor, and hits Hogan in the knee with a chair. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE. Back in, and we get the Hulk-up, and he clotheslines Valentine out of the ring. Suplex back in, and we get clipped again, this time to Hogan hitting an atomic drop. He goes for a backdrop, but Valentine, er, hammers him, and goes to the top., but Hogan slams him off. Valentine goes back to the legs. He goes for the figure-four, but Hogan kicks him into the corner. Valentine misses an elbow coning out, so Hogan clotheslines him and drops the leg for the pin. Really boring, but not awful. * 1/2 After the bell, They fight a bit more.
-$15,000 Bodyslam Match: WWF Champion Huulk Hogan Vs. Big John Studd (with Bobby Heenan) from the Brendan Byrne Arena, East Rutherford, NJ (parking there is TEN BUCKS!) 1984.12.10
Trivial Fact: Gary Capetta, of late-eighties and early-nineties NWA/WCW fame, is our ring announcer. Commentary is done by Gorilla Monsoon and HOWARD FINKEL? How strange is that?
They trade slam attempts, and try to overpower each other. That's really the story of this match, since neither man can, ya know, wrestle, or anything. They brawl and trade slam attempts, then Studd takes control, as this is the standard Hogan/Big Man match, although that since this was early on, it might be the PROTOTYPE Hogan Vs. Big Man match. Mercifully, this is clipped in a bunch of spots, or my mouth might reach around and EAT MY BRAIN to save me from it's awfulness.
Hulk gets Studd up for the slam, but Studd goes out over the top rope. They brawl on the floor, and Studd gets the better of it. Hogan puts his head under the ring to blade. Boy, he used to blade a lot. There is waaaay to much downtime in this match, and I bet they clipped more out of it. Studd goes to the top (!) and hits a forearm, and Heenan screams at him to finish it. More clippage, as Hogan goes to the floor, and they brawl there. Hulk-up, and Hogan slams Studd on the floor. The bell rings, after Hogan slides in, and it's announced that Hogan wins the match by countout, but doesn't get the $15K because he didn't slam Studd in the ring. that was really awful. -*
-Highlights from TNT, mostly consisting of Hulk mixing his protein drink. Booorring! I fast forward, but not before noticing that Vince McMahon is wearing the ugliest suit this side of Nikolai Volkoff.
-Hulk Hogan Vs. "Dr. D" David Schultz frrom Minneapolis, MN 1984.06.17
Schultz will be best remembered as the man who slapped ABC's John Stossel around on 20/20, and being blackballed from the wrestling industry for it, back in 1985.
For some reason, this match is called the "Minneapolis Massacre." Hogan is in blue and white, looking like his "Rip" character from No Holds Barred. Schultz looks like an underdeveloped clone of Sid Vicious.
Dr. D jumps Hogan at the start, and chokes him out with something. Doc takes it to Hogan, leaping around the ring, and generally delivering an ass-whipping. Hogan bails, and Schultz follows him, and nails him with a chair. Hogan blades, and it is a gusher. Schultz pounds him a bit, and I'd like to point out that there have been exactly zero wrestling holds in the first few minutes of the match. Schultz drops an elbow for two.
Hogan does the comeback thing, , landing several punches, then the chokelift. He drops an elbow for two, but pulls Schultz up. Slam, legdrop, but Hogan pulls Schultz up AGAIN at two. He throws Schultz to the floor, and runs his head to the post. Schultz makes *his* comeback, with a clothesline. He goes for an elbow, but it misses , so we get a replay of it. That's odd. Hogan stands up, clotheslines Schultz, and pins him. That was the very definition of DUD. Afterward, Dr. D nails Hogan with the title belt, then puts the belt on. Hogan gets it back, and runs Schultz off.
Oh, here's one that will suck:
-Cage Match: Hulk Hogan (WWF Champion) Vs. John Studd (with Bobby Heenan)
As a rule, all WWF cage matches suck, except for the * * * * * Bret Vs. Owen match at SummerSlam '94. Mercifully, this one is clipped as well. Hogan has bladed, amazingly enough. I think that's four for four on this tape. Another standard Hogan match. He gets beat all the way down, then stops the heel from escaping. Lather, rinse, repeat. Hogan finally fights up, drops the leg, and escapes the cage, crawling out the door. DUD. They fight on the floor after the match.
-Vince McMahon interviews Hogan. I fast forward.
-WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan Vs. The Irron Sheik (champion, with Fred Blassie) MSG, 1984.01.24
I reviewed this one in my Hulkster review, and you can go there if you want to read my opinion of it. Match was about * by my recollection.
The skinny: This tape is total crap. If you want a good early-expansion WWF tape featuring Hogan, get "The Hulkster" it's much better. Recommendation to avoid.
