Jimmy Garvin and Sunshine:
David Von Erich’s Farmhands for a day.
The red Lincoln Continental Mark VI left behind a swirling cloud of dust as it roared down a dirt road in Texas. To the left: farmland. To the right: farmland. The passengers were leaving farmland behind them, and their ultimate destination was, quite naturally, a farm.
David Von Erich’s farm. Well, to be absolutely precise, not a farm, more of a ranch.
“Farm, ranch, what’s the difference?” muttered Jim Garvin as he sat in the back seat of the Lincoln – Continental.
“On a farm, they raise crops,” replied Sunshine, Garvin’s valet. “Von Erich doesn’t have any crops, so you don’t have to worry about plowing any land today!”
“Thanks, I needed some reassurance,” Garvin replied, with sarcasm lacing every syllable.
“I can’t believe we’re out here in this godforsaken place. Look at it! I don’t see anything around beside dirt and dust! What kind of action could they here at night? What, do they all get together and watch the paint peel off their pickup trucks?”
Obviously, Garvin and Sunshine were not please at the prospect of doing a hard day’s work. Sunshine squinted her eyes as she made a left turn, directing the car into the early morning sun.
“Listen, Jim, all we have to do is take care of a couple of chores, sweat a little bit…”
“I don’t like to do sweat if I don’t have to,”
“… and we’ll be out of there,” Sunshine said. “I’m not too thrilled about it either, but there’ll be camera crews there. We’ve got to show up. Besides, it was in your contract with Von Erich.”
“Yeah, in my contract. Bah!”
Garvin had good reason to be disgusted. Sunshine was referring to a match that took place only days earlier in the Reunion Arena in Dallas. David Von Erich had challenged Garvin for the World Class heavyweight championship.
An added stipulation of the contract for that match was that the loser would have to serve as “valet for a day” for the winner.
David won that match of the contract for that match, the World Class title, and the privilege of embarrassing Garvin and Sunshine in front of a national cable television network camera crew and several national magazine photographers.
With all the media personnel on hand, wrestling fans all over the world would have the opportunity to see coverage of Garvin and Sunshine’s day at the Von Erich ranch.
The digital clock on the dashboard of the car read 9:58 as Sunshine turned into the driveway of David’s home. The media people huddled around the car as Garvin stepped out.
David smiled as he growled to Garvin and Sunshine, “Get out of the car, you’ve got a lot of work to do today.”
Garvin and Sunshine looked at each other. They were not pleased.
“The first thing you’ll be doing is digging new holes for fence posts,” David said. “Here’s the tool. Get digging.”
Garvin dug nearly two dozen holes for new fence posts as the hot Texas sun sizzled. Sunshine wiped the sweat from Garvin’s brow every few minutes. When Garvin tried to take a break, David fired his shotgun into the air and screamed, “No resting, you slackers! Back to work!”
With the digging complete, the next task was hauling hay from the fields to the stable where David’s horses were kept. David drove Garvin and Sunshine to the middle of the field, but when Garvin attempted to place a bale on the truck, David said, “Oh no, you two drag it back to the stable yourselves. No help from the truck. I want to see you sweat.”
Garvin and Sunshine looked at each other. They were not pleased.
The next job was to give David’s dog a shampoo.
“This is the ugliest, grimiest mutt I’ve ever seen in my life,” screamed Sunshine as she began lathering the dog. Garvin was silent. David sat nearby in a lounge chair, enjoying the entire scenario.
“Why is this dog so filthy?” Sunshine asked.
“He was probably playing in the stable,” David replied. “”It’s pretty dirty in there.”
“I’d hate to see the stable,” Garvin muttered to Sunshine as he hosed down the dog, completing the shampooing job.
“Next I want you to shovel out the stable,” David said with a smile.
Garvin and Sunshine looked at each other. They were not pleased.
“I’ve been a little busy lately, and I haven’t had a chance to clean up after the horses for a couple of weeks. Here you go, Jimmy!”
David placed a shovel in Garvin’s hand. Garvin looked at the mess on the stable floor and threw the shovel back at Von Erich.
“I’m not cleaning up any stables floor, least of al in front of all these cameras.”
“You lost the match, Garvin, it’s in the contract. Get to it!”
“The hell I will,” Garvin screamed, and he pushed Von Erich to the floor.
Von Erich jumped to his feet, but Garvin and Sunshine were already out of the stable and halfway back to their Lincoln.
“Forget it,” David said to the reporters, “might as well let them go. They did enough for one day. At least they know what it means now to put in an honest days work.”
The Lincoln – Continental left a swirling cloud of dust behind as the two sped away into the distance, trying to leave the humiliation of being David Von Erich’s servants for a day far behind.
In side the car, Garvin and Sunshine were too tired to talk. They were relieved that one of the most embarrassing days of their lives had finally ended. Until both looked down at their shoes, which were covered with… well, the kind of stuff that you find in stables.
Garvin and Sunshine looked at each other. They were not pleased.
