WWF Armageddon 1999 Review By The Superstar

Live from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. December 12, 1999.

Your hosts are JR & The King.

Video Package: Comparing Vince’s love, Stephanie, with Triple H’s love, The WWF Title. Nice. AND NOW! MECHWARRIOR 3 PRESENTS WWF ARMAGEDDON! PYROOOOOO!

It should be noted that the entrance is all vintage war equipment, like chain guns, helicopters, and scaffolds. That’s important for the main event.

16 Man, 8 Tag Team Battle Royal: The Dudleys vs. Edge & Christian vs. The Hardys vs. The Headbangers vs. Mean Street Posse vs. Acolytes vs. Godfather & Mark Henry vs. Too Cool

Wow, look at that tag team division. The Dudleys had just debuted, and Bubba had the stuttering gimmick. If one member of a team is eliminated, the team is eliminated. JR subtly mentions Beaver Cleavage (“Mosh survived a HORRIBLE gimmick…”) It should be noted that the MSP is Rodney and Pete Gas, which will come into play later. Too Cool had just changed their gimmick, and they were really over. WORM ON THE ENTRYWAY! OK, now that the entrances are finally over, let’s start. Obviously, play by play will be hard to do. Christian eliminates Rodney, but here comes Joey Abs, so they do the old switcheroo. There’s only one referee, well that’s dumb. Joey Abs is eliminated, but here’s Rodney again. Heh. Finally both Posse members are eliminated, our first team gone. The Headbangers are eliminated after Mosh goes out. The Acolytes eliminate Mark Henry, so Team Pimp is gone. Bubba Ray t-t-t-t-t-t-teeters, but isn’t eliminated. Thanks, JR. Grandmaster Sexay gets his pants pulled down, heh. Scotty and Christian fight on the apron, but Sexay gets low-bridged and Too Cool is gone. D-Von pulls Edge out of the ring, after he was on the apron. Edge and Christian are gone. Bubba gets a sweet Fisherman’s Buster from the top rope on Jeff Hardy. Dudleys do the WAZZZZZZZZZUP on Bradshaw before it was cool. Dudleys do the 2D on Jeff, of course called 3D by JR. As D-Von celebrates, Matt eliminates D-Von, so the Dudleys are gone.

Final Two: Hardys vs. Acolytes- Jeff gets a sweet slingshot springboard moonsault on Faarooq. Take off the shirt SQUEAL. Both Bradshaw and Matt Hardy tumble over, but the ref was on the other side of the ring. He lets the match continue since he didn’t see which team went over first. Clothesline from Hell on Jeff, who does the 360 sell. Faarooq is eliminated, but the ref didn’t see it again, so he’s back in. CONTROVERSY~! Bradshaw teases elimination twice, and Matt escapes a low bridge. But as Jeff charges at Faarooq, He LAUNCHES Jeff over the top rope to win at 10:53. This was ok, most battle royals suck anyway. *1/4

Backstage, Lillian Garcia interviews a very green Kurt Angle. He just debuted last month. He badmouths Steve Blackman and the Florida audience.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman

Angle and Blackman had been tagging for a while, but Blackman cost them a win and Angle turned on him. Of course, Angle wasn’t pinned so he’s still undefeated. It’s weird not hearing “You Suck!” during Kurt’s music. Blackman kicks down Angle to start, and beats on him in the corner. Blackman gets a cool over-the-rope hotshot, and a missile dropkick. Blackman with a bodyslam, but he misses a second-rope headbutt. He totally no-sells it, but gets clotheslined. Angle with an Irish whip and a dropkick. Another Irish whip and a forearm gets one. Angle with a bodyslam, and it’s the very first ANGLESAULT~! It misses, however. Blackman gets a Bow and Arrow stretch, but Blackman’s shoulders are down, so he lets go. Corner whip by Blackman, and a backbreaker. Blackman gets a leg grapevine facelock, but lets go. Irish whip, but Kurt gets a DDT for two. Angle with a vertical suplex for two. “Boring” chant, to get under Angle’s skin. Angle tosses Blackman out. They fight outside, and Angle goes into the ring steps. Blackman with an outside-to-inside sunset flip for two, and an Angle cross body block is reversed for two. Angle gets a butterfly (double arm) suplex for two. Angle gets a foot choke in the corner. “Angle sucks” chant. Angle blind charge gets a boot, and a drop toe hold into the second turnbuckle. Blackman Irish whip, and shoulderblock. Blackman with a snap suplex and some fist drops but two. Blackman with a sidewalk slam into a bridge for two. Side salto, but a VADER BOMB (!) gets the knees. Angle with a half nelson roll up for two. Kurt ducks an enziguri, and gets a German suplex for the pin at 6:54. OK match, nothing too special. ** Afterward, Blackman lays out Angle with the nunchuks (sp?).

Earlier tonight, Moolah pushes Ivory into the swimming pool.

Backstage, BB gets interviewed by a very, um, stupid looking Michael Cole.

Four Corner Evening Gown Match in a Swimming Pool for the WWF Women’s Title, Special refs Moolah and Mae Young: Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. BB vs. Ivory ©

Think there’s enough stipulations? King makes the obligatory Moolah and Mae Young jokes. Jackie gets tossed into the pool during BB’s entrance. During Ivory’s entrance, Kitty and BB go into the pool. Ivory goes into the pool via all 3 girls. They walk around and splash each other for a while, as Ivory tries to take off Jackie’s dress. All 3 take off Jacqueline’s dress, so she’s gone. Ivory goes for BB, but gets thrown off. She tries drowning BB. King: “She’ll never drown, she has built in life preservers!” Kat and Ivory “double team” BB and take off her dress. Ivory tries to take off her bra but can’t. King: “I can take off one of those things in one second!” Kat pulls Ivory off to boos. Kat chokes Ivory with BB’s dress, and they tumble around or whatever. Kat takes off Ivory’s dress for the win AND the title at 2:50. DUD, obviously. But wait, the best is yet to come. Kitty does a celebration, including her taking off her dress (they made her wear underwear). It’s obvious that the water was, um…cold. She jumps in the pool again, gets out, AND TAKES OFF HER BRA~! The Puppies’ first (of two) appearance on WWF TV lasts about 1 second as Slaughter covers her up. Mae Young tries to strip but Slaughter covers HER up. Ugh.

Backstage, Kevin Kelly interviews Rikishi Phatu. He teams up with Viscera tonight against the Superheavyweights, The Hollys.

Superheavyweight Tag Team Match: Hardcore & Crash Holly vs. Viscera & Rikishi Phatu

Rikishi attacks the Hollys to start, while Viscera just looks on. Rikishi whip, Crash is whipped but YOU CAN’T SUNSET FLIP RIKISHI~! Crash kicks out. Rikishi drags Crash over for the BANZAI DROP, but Hardcore attacks him. Hardcore tagged in, and he whips Rikishi, cross corner whip reversed, another, and running BUTT BUMP, and Belly to belly suplex, but Crash breaks up the cover. Rikishi tries to tag in Viscera, but he doesn’t comply. He tags in Viscera, unwillingly. Viscera reverses a whip and gets a Samoan drop, Crash comes in but gets double hand chokeslammed, and a Belly to Belly suplex. Scoop slam on Hardcore, but a splash misses. They double team Viscera, and Hardcore is in. Viscera reverses a cross corner whip but misses an avalanche, and Hardcore gets a missile dropkick for two. Crash tagged in. They double team Viscera, but Crash doesn’t learn, because you CAN’TSUNSET FLIP VISCERA! He turns it into a legdrop. Lukewarm tag to Rikishi, who gives Crash the gorilla press-to-Diamond cutter. Rikishi no-sells a Hardcore DDT, and superkicks him. Crash gets the Rikishi Driver, Viscera “inadvertently” heel kicks Rikishi and Hardcore pins him for the pin at 4:23. ½* Rikishi and Viscera argue after the match. SMELL THE ***** FEUD!

Backstage, Lillian Garcia stands with Val Venis. He vows to win the European Championship and of course, adds some sexual innuendo.

An ad for the Royal Rumble 2000. JR: “Anything can happen in the Royal Rumble, because last year Mr. McMahon won!”

Triple Threat Match for the WWF European Championship: D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis vs. British Bulldog © (w/Mean Street Posse)

It’s sad to see how deteriorated Bulldog was at this point. Teddy Long sends the Posse backstage. This match was made because the Posse interfered in D’Lo and Val’s #1 contender match. Val and D’Lo double team Bulldog, but soon they all brawl to start. Bulldog reverses a Val whip, and Val gets clotheslined by D’Lo, and Bulldog clotheslines D’Lo. Val clotheslines Bulldog outside, and Val joins him. D’Lo gets a sweet pescado to the outside. Val and D’Lo are back inside, D’Lo ducks a clothesline, but Val gets a powerslam for two. Val gets a second rope elbow drop but Bulldog breaks up the count. Val and Bulldog go outside again. Bulldog reverses a whip and Val goes into the ring steps. D’Lo and Bulldog double team Val for a while. “Bulldog Sucks” chant. D’Lo tricks Bulldog and attacks him. Bulldog on the outside, D’Lo reverses a cross corner whip, another one, but D’Lo blows a spot. Val gets a kneedrop for two. Val gets a vertical suplex, and brings Bulldog inside. Val gives D’Lo and Bulldog a noggin knocker. D’Lo and Val give Bulldog a double team clothesline, and they blow a double team hiptoss, and Bulldog lands RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. Double team stalling vertical suplex on Bulldog. Val and D’Lo fight over the pin, and knock Bulldog out of the ring. D’Lo reverses a cross corner whip, but gets tossed, he stays on the apron, goes up top, but gets crotched. Val tries a superplex, but D’Lo with a TOP ROPE SUNSET FLIP, but Bulldog pulls the ref out. Bulldog back inside, and he works over D’Lo. He whips D’Lo into a Val boot, and the give D’Lo a double team back body drop. D’Lo is thrown outside, and Bulldog takes a spinebuster. Val dropkicks D’Lo back outside, and Bulldog with the Bulldog Spike (Running Powerslam) for two, until D’Lo puts Val’s foot on the rope. D’Lo with a running forearm on Bulldog, and a heel kick. Scoop slam and the D’Lo leg drop. He knocks Val outside again, but Bulldog with a whip, and they blow a Sky Hi spot. D’Lo goes up top, LO DOWN! Cover, but Val breaks up the cover with the Money Shot, and covers Bulldog for the pin AND the title at 8:18. Blown spots galore, but it was ok. *3/4.

The ominous Steel Cage lowers. We found out on Heat that Kane vs. X-Pac would be a steel cage match.

Michael Cole interviews X-Pac. X-Pac accepted the steel cage, but he makes his own rules. Kane can only win by pinfall. However, X-Pac can win by pinfall OR by escaping the cage.

Steel Cage Match: Kane (w/ Tori) vs. X-Pac

I hate X-Pac’s entrance. X-Pac jaws with Tori to start, so Kane climbs outside and destroys X-Pac. However, X-Pac uses the ring bell to take over. They both climb up and into the ring. Kane takes forever climbing the cage. Finally the bell rings. Kane no-sells some X-Pac offense, but Pac ducks a clothesline and tries a spinning heel kick, but Kane catches him and gives him a slam. Cross corner whip by Kane, and a Military Press Slam. Some more punches in the corner, and another cross corner whip and a corner clothesline, another cross corner whip but X-Pac gets the foot up. X-Pac tries a top rope cross body, but Kane catches him and tries to drive Pac into the cage but Pac moves, and Pac gets a spinning heel kick. He tries to leave the cage, but Kane catches him and tries a top rope chokeslam, but Kane gets crotched and gets his head slammed into the cage. X-Pac gets a top rope legdrop for two, until Kane KICKS OUT WITH AUTHORITY~! Zombie sit up, and Kane cross corner whip, but X-Pac counters into a cool swinging DDT. He tries a top rope move but Kane catches him in the goozle, Kane takes a low blow and a tilt a whirl slam. Pac’s head goes into the cage twice, and eats a Kane boot. Cue the New Age Outlaws run in, as they have bolt cutters, unlocking the door, giving X-Pac an easier escape route. Billy Ass slams the cage door into Kane’s head, but they slid a chair into the ring. Double KO spot, but X-Pac starts to recover first, no wait, ZOMBIE SIT UP. X-FACTOR ON A STEEL CHAIR! X-Pac has a pair of handcuffs, which I guess the Outlaws also put in there. He handcuffs Kane’s hand to the cage, and Pac grabs the chair. Nice chair shot, and ANOTHER one. Pac starts to climb out. However, Tori gets in the ring and grabs X-Pac down, but X-FACTOR ON TORI! Pac tries another chair shot, but Kane with a big boot into the chair into X-Pac’s face! “X-Pac Sucks!” Kane breaks the handcuffs as Pac is climbing out. Kane leaves the cage and catches X-Pac coming down, bringing him back into the ring! Sweet spot! Kane slams the cage door on X-Pac’s head. Kane climbs to the top of the cage…FLYING LARIAT FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! TOMBSTONE! X-Pac is DEAD! 1, 2, 3! Kane wins in 8:11. Really good match, ***1/4.

Video package for Chris Jericho vs. Chyna Intercontinental Title match. They made Jericho the heel in this feud, but the fans didn’t want it that way. Oh, I’m reminded of the Chris Jericho sex-change promo.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna © (w/Miss Kitty)

Jericho attacks from behind to start, and we have a slugfest. Chyna whip, and a back elbow. Another one, and a knee lift, and an elbow drop. JR takes a shot at Jeff Jarrett: “Some men have underestimated Chyna, and one of ‘em isn’t even in this company anymore!” Knee drop by Chyna. Forearms in the corner, and stomps. Jericho fights back, and a cross corner whip. Chyna with an ugly FLAIR FLIP, and Jericho tumbles out. Chyna with a clothesline from the apron. Forearms on the outside, but Jericho gets a thumb to the eye. FRONT SUPLEX ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Jericho gets a chair, but misses a shot. Kitty tries to get the chair away, but Chyna dropkicks the chair into Jericho’s face. Chyna gets whipped into the stairs. Jericho grabs Kitty and kisses her. JR: “C’MON! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Chyna is rolled back into the ring, and Jericho goes up top. However, Chyna gets a low blow. THE HANDSPRING ELBOW OF ILLEGITIMATE DEATH. Kick wham DDT gets 2. Jericho reverses a whip and gets a spinning heel kick, and Chyna is hanged in the ropes. He starts working on her “broken” thumb. PSYCHOLOGY, thy name is Jericho. DROPKICK ON THE THUMB. Wow. Jericho cross corner whip, and a clothesline. Chyna reverses a powerbomb into a pin, for 2. Jericho with a nice hanging vertical suplex. ARROGANT COVER~! Gets two. He even did the whole thing: “Hey! HEY! C’MON BABY!” Jericho works over Chyna in the corner, and takes off the opposite turnbuckle pad. Cross corner whip, but Chyna reverses into a clothesline. Jericho with a cover for two. Jericho with a backbreaker, into a back submission. Jericho whip ducked, and Chyna with a cross body for two. Chyna with a cross corner whip, reversed, Jericho facebuster. Jericho with a scoop slam, LIONSAULT~! Hits the knees. Chyna whip reversed, but Chyna gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Jericho gets a boot up on a corner charged, but as he tries a hurracanrana, Chyna gets a powerbomb. Chyna with a catapult into the exposed turnbuckle! IRONY! Chyna clothesline cover: 1, 2, NO! Chyna whip, reversed, wait, Pedigree attempt reversed into a backslide: 1, 2, NO! Jericho ducks a clothesline, and puts Jericho on the top rope, backwards. SUPER BACK DROP! Wait, Chyna reversed into a cover: 1, 2, NO! Jericho reverses a cross corner whip, charge reversed into a rollup for two, he reverses into the WALLS OF JERICHO~! Chyna fights it, but gets dragged into the middle of the ring, and after about 30 seconds, TAPS OUT! Jericho wins the Intercontinental Championship at 10:22. Great match, not as good as Survivor Series, but still good. ***

Jericho cuts an arrogant promo in the back, and Chyna comes and shakes his hand.

Rock, of course, gets a tremendous pop, since it IS Florida, after all. Ft. Lauderdale is about an hour or two away from Miami, by the way. Mankind and Dogg start, and they lockup. Into the corner, clean break. Another lockup, another clean break, but they slug it out. Headlock by Mankind. “Rock and Sock” chant. Mankind shoulderblock and a leg drop to the back of the head gets two. Mankind with a chinlock…not 2 minutes into the match. Dogg fights out, and gets an arm wringer, and tags in Billy Ass. Mankind whip, but Billy gets a facebuster for a one count. TAG TO THE ROCK. They milk a “Rocky” chant, but as Billy takes off his shirt, Rock lays the smackdown. Cross corner whip and Rock lariat gets two. Billy’s face meets Mankind’s boot, and tag to Mankind. He works on Billy in the corner, but Billy tags in Dogg. Dogg works on Mankind in the corner, but Mankind fights back, and a whip, elbow ducked, Shake Rattle n Roll, but MANDIBLE CLAW! Billy Ass breaks it up, but the Rock stops him. All 4 men on the outside. Ass and Rock fight, and Dogg and Mick. Rock and Ass fight into the crowd. Lawler mentions the Sawgrass Mall, which I’ve been to quite a few times. Billy’s head into the announce table, GUNN FLOP. Billy back in the ring, and I guess they’re the legal men. Billy stomps Rock, but Rock fights back, and Billy goes into the corner, and into another. Rock whip reversed, and Dogg kicks him but gets punched, SPIT PUNCH on Ass, and he hangs on the corner as Rock pounds him. Billy cross corner whip and a DIAMOND CUTTER (!), and we have a double KO spot. Cover gets two. Tag to Road Dogg. Dogg punch knocks Rock out of the ring. JR: “King, do you like Doggy Style?” Ass gives Rock a snake eyes on the guardrail. Rock back in the ring, and he gets beat down in the corner. Cover gets two. Chops in the corner by Dogg, Cross corner whip, but Rock with a Lariat. Rock whip, Dogg ducks a clothesline, but Rock counters a Pumphandle slam with a mule kick. Billy distracts him, however, and Dogg kicks him down. Tag to Ass, and he gets a kneedrop, followed by a sleeper/chinlock, using his feet for leverage for about 2 seconds. Arm drops once, twice, NOT THRICE. Rock fights out and uses his swinging DDT. Double KO spot, tag to Dogg, HOT TAG TO MANKIND! He works over the Outlaws, and hits both of them with his patented running corner knee. Billy tries to hit Mankind with a Stinger splash but he hits Dogg, and Mankind gives him a facebuster. Mankind with the SHAKE RATTLE N ROLL, but he accidentally hits the ref. PULLING PILEDRIVER, no ref. However, he pulls the ref up but Billy Ass knocks them both down. Rock and Ass brawl outside, KICK WHAM DOUBLE ARM DDT! He signals for Mr. Socko, SOCKO CLAW! Here’s Al Snow, and he clobbers Mankind with HEAD. Yes folks, AL Snow gave Mankind HEAD. Road Dogg cover, but Rock pulls the referee out. Rock fights with Al Snow, and gives Al HEAD. Back in the ring, Billy hits Mankind with the ring bell. Cover: 1, 2, NO! Tag to Billy Ass. Billy with a nice piledriver, Cover: 1, 2, NO! Billy tells Rock to suck it, but Mankind counters another piledriver and crotches Road Dogg (I think they were going for a spike piledriver). He’s crawling…HOT TAG TO THE ROCK! He lays the Smackdown, and Billy takes a Samoan drop, cover, but Road Dogg interrupts the count. SPINEBUSTER ON ROAD DOGG, Rock Bottom on BILLY! Cover: 1, 2, AL SNOW BREAKS UP THE COUNT! Ref calls for the bell, Rock n Sock wins by DQ at 16:25. Good match, lame ending. **1/2. Rock gives Road Dogg a Rock Bottom, and Al Snow takes a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow.

Video package for the WWF Title match: Big Bossman vs. Big Show. OH, YAY. It started when Big Show’s daddy “died.” Bossman antagonized him and smashed Big Show’s “family heirloom.” He rolled a dumpster onto a car that held Prince Albert and Bossman. Oh, my favorite part: Big Bossman steals his dad’s “coffin” and Big Show rides it like a sled. WHEEEEEEEE. Bossman won the #1 Contendership by beating THE ROCK (!) Bossman and Albert used dry ice, err…”noxious gas” to kill, err…make Big Show faint. Bossman makes Big Show’s “mom” reveal that he’s a bastard. Wow, I think the video package is longer than the match.

Bossman cuts a horrendous promo saying he’s going to be Big Show’s daddy. Show gets an anemic pop. Show manhandles him to start, throwing him from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, choking him and stuff. Corner clothesline, and he tosses Bossman. Show with a running forearm, and he throws him outside. Albert attacks Show, but gets AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHTHECHOKESLAM through the announce table. However, Bossman hits Big Show with the ring steps. Show tries to ram Bossman’s head into the turnbuckle but Bossman moves and Show goes into it. “Boring” chant, 2 minutes into the match. I concur. Cover, 1, 2, KICKOUT WITH AUTHORITY, and he nips up (!). Show with a kick, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHTHECHOKESLAM, cover, 1, 2, 3. Big Show retains at 3:15. DUD. The less said about this match, the better.

Video package for the main event: Vince and Triple H, no holds barred. It’s PERSONAL! PERSONAL! WE’LL SAY PERSONAL AS MANY TIMES AS WE WANT! This started at Survivor Series when Vince cost HHH the Title (actually it started in September when Vince won the WWF Title). So blah blah, DX gets personal with all of Vince’s friends/family. Vince rams the DX limo with a car, Vince gets arrested, Vince throws HHH off the stage. Oh, here’s the Test/Stephanie WEDDING! Sign: “Don’t Do it Test!” HHH reveals that he married a passed out Stephanie McMahon in a drive through. IT’S PERSONAL!

No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere: Triple H (w/The Sledgehammer) vs. Vince McMahon

Stephanie takes a front row seat, which I believe was a wedding present to Triple H from Road Dogg. Man, why would you spend the money for a front row ticket if you only came for the main event? Triple H takes a swing with the sledgehammer, but Vince throws powder in his eyes and starts beating the hell out of Triple H. HHH does the blind punches, but McMahon basically dominates him, and gets a clothesline. Vince with a low blow, and they head outside. Vince slams H’s head into the announce table, but HHH takes over with a knee to the gut, but Vince reverses a whip and HHH goes into the ring steps. Now they head into the crowd. HHH stumbles into someone’s wheelchair, heh. This is the typical “Let’s take a walk around the arena and occasionally throw a punch.” Vince gets whipped into a steel door, and into a wall. As they walk under the entrances, HHH gets pelted with soda and stuff. Now HHH has total control, but they’re still doing the “walk around” spot. HHH chokes Vince next to the guardrail, but gets back dropped over, so we’re back at ringside. Mick Foley brings a shopping cart full of weapons for Vince to use: trashcans, pipescrutches, 2x4s, and the like. Vince takes the garbage can lid. OK, wouldn’t you take the lead pipe? HHH gets a low blow and slams the trash can lid into Vince’s face. HHH uses a water bottle to wash the powder out of his eyes, but gets blasted with the trash can lid about 6 times. Vince goes back to the cart and takes the trash can. HHH takes a shot to the head, and another, and another. HHH falls over the guardrail right in front of Stephanie. “How does that feel? My dad is kicking your butt!” Vince takes a crutch and uses it on H’s back. Vince chokes HHH with the crutch, but HHH slams Vince into the ring steps. HHH takes control of the crutch, and low blows him with it. Vince gets slammed into the shopping cart, toppling it over. HHH takes a road sign and Vince takes a shot to the back. Helmsley wraps a chain around his fist and punches Vince a couple times with it. Vince slams HHH into the guardrail and breaks a kendo stick over H’s back, and gets the road sign. HHH gets a low blow and slams Vince’s head into the one of the helicopters in the entryway. HHH kicks Vince square in the nuts, and hits Vince with a sandbag. Man, remember when entryways were this cool looking? Vince gets slammed into a jeep, and into a crate. HHH gets a trashcan and threatens to hit a fan with it, heh. No wait, HHH has the shopping cart, and RAMS IT into Vince! Now HHH takes the trash can. He NAILS Vince with the can. But Vince gets away, HHH takes the 2x4 but Vince blocks it and nails HHH with the trash can a couple times, puts the can over H’s head and punches him. Vince takes the wrench, but Helmsley hits him. Now they’re back by the entryway, and Vince gets slammed into the helicopter again. In an AWESOME SPOT, HHH swings a machine gun and it NAILS VINCE IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. Vince reverses a whip into the tail of an airplane, and hits HHH with one of the wings. Vince controls for a while, but HHH comes right back, and they go by the sound equipment. Now they’re backstage, and Vince goes into a metal door. The door is magically raising (probably by the same guy who raised the briefcase), and Vince gets slammed onto the hood of a truck. HHH elbows Vince on the hood, and he rolls off. Triple H disappears somewhere. WHICH WAY DID HE GO?! WHICH WAY DID HE GO?! Vince heads outside in the parking lot. “C’MON YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Some crazy fans are outside cheering Vince on. Triple H appears in a car and ALMOST RUNS OVER VINCE! Vince narrowly avoided it. HHH pounds him and rams him onto the car. Vince gets slammed into the hood of another car, and into the grill of an 18-wheeler, and onto the trunk of a limo. They’re on top of a limo, and HHH bodyslams Vince onto it, and drops an elbow. Vince gets slammed into another car, and they head backstage. Vince goes into a snack machine “You want a snack first?!” Now they’re heading back into the crowd. Vince comes back and rams H’s head into a wall, but HHH regains the advantage. Vince NAILS HHH with a pipe to the midsection. They start climbing a tower/scaffold, which is probably 30 feet high. They both start climbing, and at the top, Triple H slams Vince’s head into the metal, and Vince FALLS INTO A BUNKER! Triple H, being a pussy, doesn’t follow up with an elbow or anything, he just climbs down. Vince is busted open. HHH takes a gas can and hits Vince with it. HHH goes and gets a microphone, and asks Stephanie how it feels watching her dad get his ass kicked in front of the world. “I HATE YOU!” Vince is walking, however. HHH: “You’ll never have to ask who’s your daddy, because daddy’s standing right here. DOES HE EVER GO DOWN? DAMMIT, STAY DOWN!” HHH takes the pipe, and leads Vince right in front of Stephanie. Vince did the same thing to the Flairs at Royal Rumble 2002. Finally back in the ring, HHH raises the pipe, but lets go. He wants the sledgehammer. He throws the ref down, and gets it. Stephanie tells Triple H to suck it. McMahon gets a low blow, however, and NAILS HHH with the pipe, to the midsection and back. Vince takes the sledgehammer, but of course, Stephanie runs in and wants the honors. WELL, DUH. The crowd’s booing already. However, she chickens out, HHH takes the hammer and NAILS Vince in the gut, and a Sledge shot right to the head. He covers Vince with one foot, 1, 2, 3. Triple H wins at 29:57. Yeah, they gave it 30 minutes. It was a pretty good brawl, although it could’ve been 10 minutes shorter. *** Triple H teases using the hammer on Stephanie, but she turns around and…smiles, and hugs.Welcome to the beginning of the McMahon-Helmsley Era. WHY STEPHANIE, WHY?!

Bottom Line: A good show, a solid yet unspectacular undercard with 3 matches that were *** or higher. Thumbs up for a good, solid effort. I mean don’t run out and steal it or anything, but I recommend it.

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