~NATHANIAL'S ROOM~

Well, let me tell you a little about this bundle of energy. Where to start......Ok, I will start with a little about when I first found out I was expecting him. When I found out that I was going to have a baby, I was already three months along. I didn't even find out until I went to the doctor because I had been feeling a little queasy on my stomache and I had missed four days of work. They did a blood test to make sure and told me I was three months expecting! Needless to say, I was very surprised but very, very excited! I had always wanted a child but it never worked out in the timing. Before I had found out this news, I had had a dream about having a son. In my dream, my son was around five years old. It wasn't exactly a good dream because of what had happened in it, but I felt that it was so real and saw it as a sign that I was having a son. After finding out I was expecting, I picked out a name; it was a name for a boy, Nathanial Isaiah, both of which means Gift From God. I didn't even give it a thought to pick out a name for a girl! I just knew in my heart that my baby was going to be a boy! I knew what the results of my sonogram would be later on. My feelings were right!

During my pregnancy, I experienced some problems with high blood pressure and diabetes related to pregnancy. I had to watch everything I ate and also not be under alot of stress. I had wanted to have a normal, natural delivery but that wasn't possible. I had to be induced and ended up having him by C-section. He came out crying and would only quieten when I spoke his name and talked to him. He recognized my voice from all the times I talked to him and sang songs to him. He was a small little boy but full of spunk! When he wanted something, he made it be known! He wanted to eat every two hours! I didn't even know the meaning of sleep until he was almost a year old! I was getting used to taking naps, though, and grabbed some shut-eye every chance I got! I know that all of you Moms out there have been through this at one time or other so you know what I was going through!

I didn't even begin to imagine just how much of a challenge it would be to raise and take care of Nathanial. He was starting to show just how strong-willed and determined he was going to be at only a couple weeks old! There have been alot of battles and challenges along the way to get to where he is now. He loves Jesus, loves going to his Sunday School, even cries if we can't go. He has another class called Royal Rangers, which is like boy scouts, that he enjoys going to on Wednesday evenings. In August of 1999, he told me he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart and asked me to help him. I didn't really think he understood enough so didn't think he was ready yet but I decided to ask him some questions. I asked him all the questions about what he needs to understand to go to heaven and why we need Jesus. He got them all right so I helped him say a simple prayer by repeating after me. He was so excited he couldn't wait to tell his Mamaw! Then he started telling everyone he knew and anyone we would meet that he had the spirit of Jesus living in his heart and he would go to heaven some day! I know that he still won't understand the depth of what he did until he gets older; he may even think he will have to do it again; that will be ok too. Because of his young age, he won't remember much about it so our Pastor said not to be surprised if he wants to do it again. I just know that because of his faith, he has Jesus guiding his life in everything he does. It is common with very small children to do this and then go forward again when they are older. I have just continued teaching him the best I can and now he is ready to go forward to be baptized. He will always remember his baptism date as March 28, 2004!

I don't know just how God will use Nathanial during his life but I do know that God must have mighty things planned for him because he had a difficult delivery, a difficult time for the first three years of his life because of being a "high-need" baby who needed alot of attention, also because he was so small and needed alot of nourishment to grow. He also had alot of respiritory problems during these first three years. He was hospitalized some because of it. It was hard to look at him and see him miserable and sick; it made me wonder if he was ever going to be healthy and grow. But to look at him now, I can't hardly remember any of those times because he is such a healthy little boy with an over abundance of energy that I can't keep up! Also, he has had the nurturing of all his church family watching him grow and loving on him since he has been a month old! I look forward to seeing him reach his teens right along with the other kids he is growing up with there.

Nathanial did go to kindergarten and he got started off on the wrong foot; he really is a joy to be around and he has such a lovable heart for others but he was getting into trouble in class because he couldn't stay focused. It had me worried because he was getting into trouble most everyday! He only had a few good days out of two months! I was worried. His teacher, who, I must say, has been wonderful in being patient and seeing the positive things and the potential in Nathanial, wanted him to learn self-control. He eventually did much better and got promoted from kindergarten. He also had a noticable change in his behavior. I am so proud of him and am happy that he can finally focus enough to listen, pay attention, follow directions and really learn. He is a very smart little fellow. I love him so and thank God for being blessed with him as my son. I can only do my best in following God's way of raising Nathanial to be the little boy and young man that can be used by God according to His will for him. I am teaching him respect for others and also to have good morals.I know it won't be easy in this world that is full of evil and I can't do it alone. My strength comes from God. I know I can't protect Nathanial from everything but I protect him from the things that I can make a difference in. And pray that he will always remember them. Before he got too far into first grade, his doctor decided to try him out on a new medicine for attention deficit, called Strattera. It has no stimulants and no side effects, beyond giving him a sick belly if he takes it on an empty stomache. It has really worked wonders with him.

There are so many little stories I could tell you about him that have just melted my heart with love and joy or even brought me to overflowing laughter! I will have to create another page later on and continue it from this page. This page won't be enough for you to get a glimpse of just how special Nathanial is. Even those who have been around him since he was born have made mention of different things they have noticed. I am not meaning this to be bragging; all children are special. But it is just that God has placed it upon my heart that He has something mighty planned for Nathanial when He feels it is time. Whatever that will be, I will encourage him and support him in the things that bring glory to the wonderful name of Jesus. Until I gather my thoughts and memories to put down on a page, I wish you all the joy with your children that God has given me with Nathanial. Even with the frustrations, I have no regrets in having Nathanial and raising him. I just can't understand how any woman can kill their baby with an abortion and not think of that baby as a life, someone who would be special and do great things. It just breaks my heart when I think about it and I look at Nathanial and know he was a living being right from the beginning.Well, hope you will check back sometime and see if there are any new stories posted here. You might be surprised by something that will bring tears, giggles, or just touch your heart. Blessings to you from Nathanial.

UPDATE: December 2, 2006 Well, it has been quite some time since I got to do any updating to any pages so thought I would start on this page first. Nathanial has been growing into a fine but challenging young fellow. He is in the 6th grade and we have been homeschooling since 1st grade. He is no longer on the medicine, going off of it a year ago. He is very bright, has interests in many things. He played soccer, has taken karate for a couple years but now wants to play football. He loves to skate and he has many interests like music, different instruments he would like to play someday; he is a risk-taker and likes doing flips on the trampoline; he has finally graduated from kiddie rides at the state fair and is now trying out some of the bigger and scarier rides! His favorite saying for some of those are 'if it's a spinny, it's a winny!' I still have my challenges with him because he likes to debate me on every issue he doesn't happen to agree with my answer! He sometimes borders on being over the top and disrespectful to me but I get him back to knowing who is boss. But as for how he treats other, he is so loving, caring, respectful, mannerly to others, they all say he is a joy to have around and he can stay with them anytime! I am praying God will bring forth and develope the gifts He has given him and that he will use them for God's glory. He really sings well but is sort of at a timid age for singing in front of groups of people. He is a drama king, a clown, his biggest joy is to use his boyish charm on me after he has annoyed me with his picking! I am trying harder not to be a softie! He is already looking forward to lots of snow so he can get to go sledding this year. Since he is becoming a thrill-seeker, he will probably want to find a steep hill this year! I will be praying hard for no broken bones or knots on his head! I will update more another time.

Nathanial is a true gift from God! Thank You, Father, for your special gift. I will love him always.