Hey look, it's a black background... does that make this page seem MYSTERIOUS?
Okay, so it's not really mysterious, and not really scary, but i decided that the background should be black because i'm pissed at the moment... and i'll tell you why kids... it all started a long time ago in a land far far away...
Fuck all the motherfuckers who make you "choose" a genre!
that's about all i have to say... but for matters of clarification... i will expound...
Sites, stores, etc... make you choose a specific genre, I fucking HATE when the most specific genre you can pick is "alternative", because it's totally fucking meaningless, it gives you NO hint of what the music sounds like. But even when you can choose to label yourself as "punk" or "ska" that doesn't work for us... if you've heard any of our newer music (Anything past our first album), you can better understand our delemma. We're somewhere around punk/ska with lesser amounts of "pop-rock" that quickly becomes "metal" when we happen to strike a minor chord. If you play that same "metal" thing a little faster it becomes "hardcore punk", so i guess we play that too, and then the guitar switches from solid 5th chords to off-beat chords and it becomes "ska-core", switch back to major key and you're back to "ska"... If we call ourselves "punk", the punk kids get pissed when they hear the horns (even if we're still playing very fast, with solid 5th chords, and singing offensive lyrics), people that like "ska" hate us because we're too fast/angry and don't have any horn solos, and you can't skank to most of our music. Ska/punk is the closest label we can get, but most places force you to choose one or the other. This is just my opinion, but i think if you can fit into a single categorey, your band fucking sucks. I can say this confidently without fear of offending anyone because almost no band fits neatly into any single genre. Yes i know that genres are supposed to be a very vague idea of what you sound like most of the time, but by going with that definition we would be "punk". But fuck that, no-name punk bands are fucking impossible to get off the ground, so from now on i'm placing us under the label "ska", so more people will listen to us and attempt to respect us, because for some fucked up reason you can't play real music if you're in a punk band, you can only make noise, but for some reason when you're a ska band you get so much more respect. it's really quite fucked up, i got to experience the whole thing because we used to be a 3 piece punk band, no respect, everyone expected us to be shit, and so we weren't given the chance to show anyone otherwise, fucking assholes, then we got another guitar player, and played the same songs, but with a second vocal line and guitar part. so then people at least stopped pissing in our faces, but they still thought we were shit. then we got 3 horns, playing the same style (slightly more complex sounding because of the sheer # of instruments) and then people thought we were some kind of new band, all the sudden we knew musical theory and could fucking write songs, well shit fuckers, they're the same fucking songs! so fuck you for not giving us a chance because we were small! we're more offensive now than before, but for some reason that's okay because we have 3 fucking horns, so that means we know music or something, fuck that shit! i feel that i'm painting the wrong picture of our band, so i'm going to keep complaining while i'm at it, if you came to read about the genre stuff you can leave now, because i'm just going to rant for a while... don't let me mislead you, we still don't get any respect, people piss in our faces anymore, but they still think we're shitheads. everyone loves the ska bands that sing about girls, and have the same fucking drum beat through the whole songs, fuck them. go with me on this... rythm is like pitch right? because if you slowed down a pitch it would become a beat, and if you speed up a beat it becomes a pitch, so would you like a band that had an instument that played the same note the whole song? i fucking wouldn't, that's fucking terrible! If you fucking play quarter notes for the high hat, and alternate between the bass drum and snare drum on half notes at about 200 bpm, then you get the most generic drum beat in the fucking world. So many bands play that beat through a whole song, usually with variations and fills, but it still fucking sucks, it's the same shit for like 3 minutes (more or less). Bands that are meant to be relaxing may want to do that, it fucking puts me to sleep! i honestly think all of our older songs are incredibly boring (almost everything before the most recent song "ode to balls") because they don't have enough transitions, but when i compare us to other bands we seem like we're on crack because we don't play the same stuff for more than 5 seconds, and it's not because we're good, it's because most of the music world is lazy or something, i don't know. But if we played the same drumbeat through a whole song and sang about girls all the time i'm sure we would be huge, but then i'd have to fucking shoot myself! so i just hope the listening end of the musical world wakes up and says "hey, you know what? i don't have to spend every waking moment of my life thinking about the oppposite sex to the point that i degenerate the music industry into a rotting pile of boners", yeah sure sex is great and all, thats why we sing about it, but are you so fucking lame that you have to disguise it as "relationships" to get by... you have to call it love? what the fuck! you call it love when you wanna fuck them! that's all it is! fucking! sex! if it wasn't about it sex you would call them you friend... there's no "deeper connection" that love songs try to talk about, love is just wanting to fuck someone and still be their friend! so we make penis designs, because that's what you really want! a friend with a nice big dick, or nice tight vagina. you want dick or pussy so much that you would listen to shitty-one-beat-music just so you can hear about loving people, fuck that. listen to us, we'll talk about dick and pussy strait up, and we'll be your friend too, isn't that what you want? well i suppose you want the "security" of a relationship as well... well we're still here, and aren't going away, so you can be in love with us, we've got your dick and pussy right here, and what's more we're not limited to that! Catch-22 is the only other band i can think of that makes a conscious effort to make interesting music, they have transitions, and play different stuff. well, i'm done ranting i guess... you may not agree with me, that's fine, just listen to songs from our new album "Super Happy Fun Family Wish Demo" and you'll see that they're good... maybe if you agree with me we could start a musical revolution, where bands wrote lyrics one more than one topic... and where drums played more than one beat... and where we could correctly percieve the pattern i'm setting up here and understand that these ideas stretch into every aspect of music (different rythms for chords, different notes in melodies, different beats for drums...), and that no part of music should be taken for granted... and here's my soon to be famous quote that you can use as a point of reference when attempting to write in this "revolutionary" musical style...
"No instrument when played alone should sound boring"
Every instrument should always be doing something interesting...
HOLY FUCK...
what was that... this is me reading what i wrote a few weeks later. When I wrote the stuff above it was like 5 or 6 in the morning, and so some of it poorly explained, and doesn't make as much sense as i had hoped it would... anyway... the main point of the page (you may have missed it because i got off track half way through) is that we're now calling ourselves a "ska" band because it makes people take us more seriously (not that we're a serious band, but i mean they'll think we're playing music instead of crap). Even though from a technical standpoint we lean more toward punk, or punk/ska/pop-rock/metal/rap/funk...
