REVIEWS!!!!! (um.... we've gotten lots of reviews since these, but i'm too lazy to put them up, so find them yourself you jerkoff.... what.... you think you own the fucking internet now and you can tell me what to do.... eww andrew.... post CC's reviews.... why don't you post the reviews you dickhead.... you're sitting there all cool with your internet explorer or whatever, more like an internet pussy-shit-eater.... so yeah.... if you want the new reviews you come and get them asshole, i'll be waiting with a fucking baseball bat....
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Graffiti from WV...
"On the other end of the musical spectrum, I happened apoun an archetypal (i'm not sure what that means, but it sounds okay) young punk band at an open mike a few nights later. Playing to about 6 people, Cryptorchid Chipmunk bounced through a raw, energized set of sometimes downright wacky originals that should endear the band to the punk scene once it becomes better known. Plus, CC did it without the benefit of a PA - tough when you're meant to be a loud band. Three of the four members are in Mtown for school, but all hail from the home of the flatwoods monster (Braxton county). CC has played a few venues on the WV circuit including Elkins and Parkersburg, and are looking for more. I wouldn't be surprised if you saw them doing some all-ages shows in town soon."
-Mike Caplinger
News for sometime before 7-24-99
Andrew's news: go to hell
cryptorchid chipmunk news: We're soon putting together
an interactive cd that you can buy off us for like 4 or
5 dollars (they're not free to make, but we're not making
any money off this deal). The cd will have a music video,
8 original songs, 3 or 4 cover songs (that are so different
they sound original), and some other fun things to play
with. We finally decided that the video will be for the
song "Or Something Like That" since it's the slowest and
most likely to be most popular, and because we just out
of nowhere decided it would be, and because on the vote
we took the votes were VERY spread out, but OSLT was at least
tied for 1st.
News for 7-24-99:
Andrew's news: I stubbed my toe on corey's shoe today,
and it really hurts
cryptorchid chipmunk news: We finally learned all of our
new songs and will soon be recording them so all you
leeching assholes (that's our term of endearment for fans)
can soon download them, or order our cd from us to get the
songs.
News for 7-26-99:
Andrew's news: My Hippos cd never came in, and it's not coming in because
the faggy warehouse that guy ordered it from sucks. I
stop by that place every day and it's never open, and
finally i get inside and the guy tells me he wants to
rape me and that my cd never came, because ska isn't
cool enough or something...
cryptorchid chipmunk news: The date of our next gig has
been changed to 8-10-99 a day later than originally planned.
Mr dillusion cancelled so now it's just us and steve's
swing band playing at the cherry river festival (if you live
near here (WV), e-mail us and we can give you more info about
the event)...
News for 7-29-99:
Andrew's news: i'm so bored
cryptorchid chipmunk news: Mr dillusion is back on! They
said they quit, but now they're back for the festival.
That means we don't have to fill a 3 hour space, we have time
to wack it more! we need to write another newsletter,
maby here in little while i will. anyway, Mr D will be
there for sure now, and it'll be their last performance
before they break up, but nobody cares, they sucked anyway
pretty much.
News for 8-8-99:
Andrew's news: oh dear lord it's only 2 days until the
show, i'm gonna pee my pants
cryptorchid chipmunk news: We practiced some more, and
i saw that MEGZ signed our guestbook! yay! mmm, that's about
all
News for 8-9-99:
Andrew's news: Well, now it's 12:36 AM, so technically it's
the 9th, oh crap! i have to get up early tomarrow, later!
News for 8-22-99:
Andrew's news: corey left for college... and i'm bored...
all i do now is play pokemon, watch pokemon, and play guitar...
but this is good for our fans! i'll probobly do more updates
and stuff
cryptorchid chipmunk news: We finally recorded our CD!
well, at least the audio portion, it ended up having
only 8 tracks (but about 9 or 10 songs) and i may record
1 or 3 more songs poor quality to have on it (but they're
not "real" songs). It's much higher quality than we EVER
had expected, my voice sounds screwed up, and we recorded
all songs except 2 on the first take, so it's high quality,
but it still has all the mistakes that you could expect
from a live perfomance... and some more... in fact i think
a section of the interactive part will be "andrew's lame
ass reasons he thinks this CD isn't as good as he wanted
it to be" along with several pictures of me orally pleasing
a monkey (don't hold me to the ladder idea, i'm still thinking
it over). oh, and one more thing, the CD wasn't completely
written, so the master copy i have won't convert to wavs,
that means it may be a little while until i can get josh's
copy and see if it'll work, and i'm SURE you've been looking
forward to our new songs SOOOO much... i'll put the remaining
lyrics up tonight, and then drink a gallon of cat urine
and do that little irish jig i love so much.
news for 10-23-00
Andrew's News: ass-n-gizzum or something... it makes sense if you think about it.
Wow, what was that i wrote about orally pleasing a monkey? that was written a while back, and so now i only suck donkeys off... anyway. The CD previously described was too fucked up to be released, but now there is another CD in the works that WILL come out, it has 13 tracks, everything that the first CD would have had only more (even though i don't think "You're Ugly and I'm Superficial" should've been on it). It's hard to tell which song/songs may be made into singles, it's a toss up between about 7 of them, but that's good, you won't be buying the CD for it's 1 good song like so many other bands do, they're all pretty consistant. We're sending it back to the mastering guy because he fucked it up, and when we finally get what we would call a good copy i'm going to redub and bad vocals (i suck) and add some effects. it's going to be pretty cool. If you've not already been told, our previous mailing list has been destroyed in one of yahoo's updates (damn them), and so we'll have to start over with that... that's about all for now... time to go eat some ass... oh yeah, and the web page has be re-released... but i guess you've already figured that out. oh yeah, and pretty much everything we've told you before is no longer true, like the CD, and mr D, and all that shit
News for 1-22-01:
Andrew's news: dude, our newest song "Andrew's Favorite Song" kicks total ass! but it's not on the CD, so you'll have to CUM hear us if you want to hear it
cryptorchid chipmunk news: in case i never mentioned this before... if you hear and dislike a lot of our 1st CD, we're getting much better, and heading in a new direction. as far as lyrics go, they make much less sense. we're adding more "dramatic" parts to songs (because everyone likes those more than silly happy parts). but we're still preserving the happy stupid silly aspect of our music, and trying to blend together the two sounds, so we'll have a sounds that are more like "My Girlfriend is in Love with Nicolas Cage" mixed with sounds more like "The Chicken Nation Anthem". but ALL of the lyrics will be pointless and void of all meaning, unless it's a song like "Anti-Lyric" which is about NOT putting any meaning into lyrics and just saying stupid things. anyway, i'm sure you don't care all that much, i know i wouldn't if i were you, but just letting you see the general direction of our band, so you can foresee yourseleves liking or disliking us. or wanting to suck us all off because you're a big whore...
News for 1-14-02:
Andrew's News: I beat off, a lot...
cryptorchid chipmunk news: Shit! it's been a year since the last post! anyway, we now have two trumpet players and a trombone player, and kick TOTAL ass, we're pretty much the same, but with more and increasingly better songs like "And the Eating is Free if You're a Sewage Repairman", and "Homosexual Superheros", anyway, must go to class now. i have african american studies! i'm gonna learn how to be black! then i'll be cool, bling bling, cash money yo, i got the 411 on that bizatch g, you pickin up on the mad beats i'm layin down? word!
News for 7-27-03:
Andrew's News: updating webpages sucks...
cryptorchid chipmunk news: Shit! it's been a year since the last post! Anyway.... now we have a trombone and sax, and the 2 guitars, bass, and drums.... and me and corey are the only original members left.... ah the time passes so fast.... bryan can do a mean teabag let me tell you what.... and we just got back from our first tour... the "used condom teabag" tour.... it was good, a lot of places liked us, a lot of places hated us, but at least we got a reaction... we've got a new CD "Super Happy Fun Family Wish Demo", we've got 2 T-shirt designs, stickers, and LEGIONS OF RETARDED FANS!! our band fucking sucks, but don't tell them that, they're too stupid to notice that it's all dick and fart jokes... but i guess it's not all really dick and fart jokes, cause they have to be funny to be considered jokes...
Links (a * next to a page means that it sucks but has a link to us oslt)
Fallen Boi's Punk/Ska review page
Chicken Nation (old site)
*Russell's gay ass site
*Tonya's gay ass site
*Burton's gay ass site
Albino's punk and ska tabs
The Agent Orange zine
El Otro Malo (BAD) Official CC Pages!
The Other Official CC Pages!
