Loser Pool

Loser Pool is a version of billiards invented by Meghan, Randi, Corey, and me at Jamie's party. Below you will find various rules, moves, and things you hear in loser pool that you'll never hear anywhere else. It will make you wish that you were there, but you weren't. Note to Jamie: I believe we may be crashing into your house soon, because you're the only person we know with a pool table!

Rules of Loser Pool

• Unlike the Special Olympics, there are no winners in loser pool, because everyone's a loser.
• Pool tables were meant to be climbed upon.
• Mild cases of controllable Turet's syndrome may be helpful.

Official Moves in Loser Pool

• The Flying Virgin
• The Beached Whale
• (Variation) The Aerodynamic Beached Whale
• Drunk and Pregnant
• The Cleavage Furrow
• The Emeril (Bam!)
• The Rock On

Things you hear in Loser Pool that you will never ever ever ever hear in regular pool

• 101 sexually tilted pool jokes
• At least you hit the white ball!
• I call this one the...
• I'm supposed to be stripes?
• What's the 8 ball for?
• Death by pool. (that's a picture I wish I had)
• Ow! I hit myself in the chin!
• I missed the ball again!
• That would've been so cool if it would have worked.

Records in Loser Pool

• Most balls sunk in a row: Randi (4!)
• Most competitive Loser Pool player: Corey
• 2 balls in one shot of the same color: Randi
• 2 balls in one shot of your color: Cheryl
• Sink a ball on the break: Corey
• Most likely to become a hustler: Meghan