October 12, 2000
He's her lobster! (inside joke)
AAHHHH!!!! The Friends premier!! It just came on!!!! Could Matthew Perry BE any cuter?! I mean GEEZ! Not to sound obsessive...but I really am, ya know? So, now, in honor of my favorite actor of ALL TIME, Matthew Perry, I'm gonna put a list of some totally hilarious Matthew Perry quotes. Maybe I'll put a tribute to him on the page somewhere. Such a hottie!
1. Wa-PAH!
2. That's a goldfish cracker
3. You could fit a giant penguin over there. That'd be weird though.
4.I have a horrible name
5. Ow - no woohooing. No woohooing.
6. No no no no no no no no NO!
7. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit, and get out!
8. I loathe myself.
9. I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
10. Rock. Hard place. Me.
11. Joey, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's RESISTANCE!
12. You give the worst massages.
13. Well, I don't have an apartment anymore because I drank it.
14. Ok...how many of that girl are you seeing?
15. You remember all that annoying stuff about Janis? The voice, the personality? Well, it's all back. And she's picked up like nine new ones!
16. Could that report be any later??
17. You sure he'll be able to crack that code, Joe?
18. Why don't you fall down more?
19. On second thought, gum would be perfection. *winks at Jessica*
20. Monica is freakishly strong
21.See, for us, kissing is like an opening act. It's like the comedian you have to sit through before...Pink Floyd comes out.
22. I don't know...like...a MILLION?!
23. Hi - Bob here!
24. From now on, I have no name
25. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. ...did I say that outloud?
26. You need to get out more!
27. Ok - you stay out here. And never buy me anything EVER!
28. The cushions are the essence of the chair!
29. AAHH!!! What did you just do??
30. Can open - worms EVERYWHERE...
31. Happy planeaversary!
32. One year ago today, I was just your annoying friend Chandler
33. Hey Joey...nice breasts by the way.
34. I should have known better than to buy a twelve pack of condoms. And now, I can't return them, because Janis choked on the receipt!
35. Her nostrils were huge! When she sneezed, bats flew out of them!
36. The last time I left a spontaneous message, I ended up using the phrase "yes-indeed-eo"!
37. Ok, but if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm going home
38. Pressing my third nipple opens a seldom-used delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
39. Does anyone else feel like they are about to give birth to an alien?
40. I was kind of excited about going to a movie, but that was before I knew I could get peed on.
41. If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. You know, a hook. Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man With A Snake. You know, Crazy Snake Man. Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won't walk by my place...they will run! 'Run from crazy snake man' they'll shout!
42. You're gonna sneeze on my fish aren't you?
43. We're gonna take that stupid troll thing home
And...for the kicker...get ready to get all sappy feeling....
44. "Monica, will you marry me?" (AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!)
That's my note this time around. Long, huh?
Jarah