'You don't want me around,' he said,
'I'm old and crippled too.'
We didn't have the heart to say
'You're bloody right it's true.'
He really took an age and more
To pack his tatty kleid.
We started coughing by the door,
To hurry him outside.
'I'm no use to man nor beast,'
He said, his eye all wet.
'That's why we're getting rid of you,
Yer stupid bastard,get.'
His wrinkled face turned up to us
A pleading in his look;
We gave him half-a-crown apiece
And polished up his hook.
'Its not that we don't like you dad.'
Our eyes were downcast down.
'We've tried to make a go of it
Yer shrivelled little clown!'
At last he finished packing all,
His iron hand as well.
He even packed the penis
What he'd won at bagtell.
' 'Spect you'll write a line or two?'
He whined - who could resist?
We held his face beneath the light
And wrote a shopping list.
'Goodbye my sons and fare thee well,
I blame yer not yer see,
It's all yer mothers doing lads,
She's had it in for me.'
'You leave our mother out of this!'
We screamed all fury rage,
'At least she's working for her keep
And nearly twice your age!'
'I'd sooner starve than be a whore!'
The old man said,all hurt.
'Immoral earnings aren't for me,
and living off her dirt.'
'She washes everyday,' we said
Together, all at once.
'It's more than can be said for you
Yer dirty little ponce!'
At last upon the doorstep front
He turned and with a wave
He wished us all 'Good Heavens'
And hoped we'd all behave.
'The best of luck to you old dad!'
We said with slight remorse,
'You'll dig it in the workhouse man.
(He wouldn't though of course.)
'Ah well he's gone and thats a fact,'
We muttered after lunch,
And hurried to the room in which
He used to wash his hunch
'Well here's a blessing in disguise;
Not only money too;
He's left his pension book as well
The slimy little jew!'
'What luck we'll have a party
Inviting all our friend.
We've only one but she's a laugh
She lets us all attend.'
We never heard from dad again
I 'spect we never shall
But he'll remain in all our hearts
-a buddy friend and pal.