Dying with Lyme
Mood:  sad
My ex sister in law, Cynthia, passed away Sunday Oct. 26th 2008 from Lyme disease. She was only 48 years old!

Once a vibrant, beautiful woman not so long ago....at the end of her life she was in a wheel chair, in diapers, taking food from a tube, unable to speak, to use her hands, or to walk at all.

All this from a disease that the government still says is easily treated with a few days of low dose antibiotics! All this from a disease that isn't even supposed to exist in WV!

I do not understand why it is that our government will provide gay people or drug addicts, who by their lifestyle choices contract aides, with free medical care that costs tens of thousands of dollars a year, but will not treat decent people who through no fault of ther own contract Lyme disease? Even if we pay for the care ourselves our Drs are denied the right to properly treat us.

Cynthia did not get up one morning and make the choice to do something that would infect her with Lyme. She didn't even know about Lyme because the state and the government have worked so hard to be sure she did not know. She never saw the tick that bit her, never had a bulls eye rash. Her Drs spent years operating on her back because her discs were degenerating, throwing anti-depressants and pain meds at her, diagnosing her with first MS, and then ALS until finally,  a caregiver demanded that she be tested for Lyme, and guess what.....she tested positive! Unfortunately it was much too late to undo the damage and the down hill slide.

I'm in that same down hill slide too because the CDC made my Dr stop treating late stage Lyme. I can only pray that God will have mercy on me and let my death come faster than Cynthia's did.

A sad day in American
Mood:  down

Today is a sad day in American

Lousy blogger
Mood:  don't ask

It seems that blogging is not something that I'm very good at. It's easy, when you have late stage Lyme, to be overwhelmed by every day life issues and I seem to have more than my share.

On Labor Day my husband had to have an emergency appendectomy. Because of a kink in his bowels they could not do the easy laproscope kind so there was a six week recovery period for him, and six weeks of heck for me. I wrenched my shoulder and back getting him in and out of bed. 

 

  

Good Ol Summer
Mood:  rushed

Been kind of lazy on the blogging, haven't I? There's been a lot going on around here that is not Lyme related, at least not directly.

I tried to quit smoking using a drug called Chantix, and not only was that a flop, but it screwed up everything in my body. I do not recommend this drug to Lyme patients. (actually I would not recommend it to anyone!!) I gained weight very quickly, my sugar went out of control and I don't have full control back yet, my blood pressure went up, I had constant insomnia even though my RLS was under control, and I had the headache from hell that would not quit. The straw that broke the camel's back was severe depression with suicidal thoughts. I would rather die from a smoking related disease than sit around wanting to kill myself so I went back to smoking!

I've managed to get the weight back off, my blood pressure has come down, and I put in a small garden for the first time in years. I may not be the happiest person, but no longer want to hurt myself.

 

 

 

 

Winter with Lyme
Mood:  not sure
Well, the holidays have passed, the snow has set in, and so has the pain, depression, brain fog, and other Lyme problems.

My mind is convinced that the delete button in my email is really the reply button. I make instant coffee without the coffee, or put the water in the micro and forget it. Oh, and twice I have tried to answer the tv remote instead of the cordless phone!

Muscle spasms are so bad that I can barely take care of my personal daily needs, and chewing anything is causing me to have headaches.

To top off the list my heart flutters are getting much worse, and so is my insomnia.

I did find that the highest dose of Ambien CR totally gets rid of the insomnia, but at a cost of over $100 a month, and with the hassle of getting my Dr to prescribe it regularly I just threw up my hands in defeat. I'd like to know why drug companies are allowed to advertise drugs on tv that Drs will not prescribe?

Recent studies show that lack of sleep causes diabetes, and all kinds of other long term health problems, but nobody seems to care. I told my Dr long ago that I thought the onset of my diabetes and the insomnia were related, but what do I know? After all, I'm just the person who has inhabited this body for 47 years!

Finally did find something that stops restless leg syndrome, and that is a drug called Requip. So far no problems with it except for slight nausea, and acid reflux if I eat a regular meal after I take it.

Fall is here
We are starting to get used to having one less member of the family. Murphy still waits for Nikki to come out of the bedroom and play. Some days she is worse than others.

Now that the cooler weather is here I can breathe easier and fluid retention is less, but my pain is worse. Seems like the muscles want to spasm all of the time when it's cold.

I have been talking to others with Lyme and they have commented on how much worse thier pain and depression has been this year than others. We seem to all be going back to square one and we don't know why?

Now Playing: Grief and Lyme
Yesterday I lost my 13 year old Shih Tzu, Nikki, to heart failure.

Those of you who have long term Lyme will probably already know how a loss, or any kind of sudden change really, can affect our health. For those of you who are new to the world of Lyme, I can tell you that all of your symptoms will get worse and some new ones may crop up.

It's important to be a little more gentle on yourself when life has thrown you a curve. Rest a little more, push a little less.

It's been a tough last few weeks. I lost two friends within a week of each other, and now my dog too. I have another beautiful dog (see the Meet Murphy link on my home page) who is also grieving, and so is my husband. Three years ago today he lost his mother to complications of congestive heart failure.

I will end this now because Murphy is reminding me that it's past our nap time. Please be kind to one another and give your pet an extra treat and a pat. You just never know what tomorrow may bring.

One of those days
Mood:  blue
I'm so new to this that I don't even know if anything will show up. Pathetic isn't it.