|
MY TESTIMONY "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" Revelation 3:20 I grew up in a home that went to church on Sundays and in my earlier years I remember my mother teaching me to pray and talking to me about God. But as time went by we didn't seem to go to church as often unless it was a special holiday. I always believed in God but I never really got to know him until I became an adult and then I fought him when he tried to be a part of my life He never forced himself on me. It was always me seeking him out and then running away when he got to close. I was molested during my childhood, and thinking I needed to talk to someone, it was decided that I needed to talk with our local priest. That was a big mistake which no one would realize until years later. In my mind, going to the priest was confessing that I had done something wrong. I felt that it was all my fault that this terrible thing had happened and back then you didn't discuss things of this nature. The one thing I do remember is that person saying, "If you love me..." and growing up I was to remember these words in every relationship I was to have. In school I would date one guy after another and those words keep coming back into my life, "If you love me...". I went through two bad marriages and eventually met the man I have been married to for almost 24 years. He had been saved years before but was out of fellowship with the Lord. But because of his love for me he was willing to be drug to whatever church I wanted to "try out". The Lord was dealing with me big time and I was running as fast as I could go. One day while babysitting several children, the Lord said to me, "I've loved you for so long and the more I try to show my love the faster you run from me. What do I need to do to get you to turn everything over to me and allow me to be Lord of your life?" I knew then and there that this was my last chance so I called a man that went to our church and told him I wanted to be saved and baptised right then and there. He tried to make me wait but I wouldn't give in. Calling a friend to stay with the children, I went to the church and turned my life over to Jesus and was baptised. That Sunday the pastor's wife met me at the door and hugged me and proceeded to tell me I was never to go to my old church again. She had me so torn up that when the pastor began to preach on the Lord's Supper I became so upset that I ran from the church. I never thought how it would look to my children or husband let alone the other people. This was in March of 1979 and there was snow on the ground. I was outside without a coat in the dead of winter questioning God about what had just happened. My husband thought I was sitting in our car so he stayed until the services were over.
We never did go back to that church but did eventually find a church that we would go to occasionally. But I never would make the committment to allow God to be lord of my life. Salvation was fine but giving everything over to the Lord was still hard to do.This surrender was blocking my walk with him. I wasn't attending church enough to be fed so naturally I didn't grow in my relationship with God. Eventually I started having some health problems and was afraid that a brain tumor had returned. I wasn't ready to die. My children were just out of high school and I wanted to see them married and raising their own families. I finally went to the Lord and told him if he would help me then I would turn my life over to him completely and give him total control of my life. I know you shouldn't bargain with the Lord but I was willing to accept any health problem as long as I could live. Shortly after praying I was to find out that I had MS. Because of my MS my walk with the Lord is even closer than I ever thought possible. He is so good to me and he has even begun a healing in my body. The MS has affected my right side and I had just about lost the use of my right hand. The Lord has been so wonderful to me. He has blessed me with a Christian husband that loves me unconditionally. He has also blessed me with two wonderful children, a daughter and a son, and five beautiful grandchildren. God had richly blessed me and continues on a daily basis. But the main thing he has done was showing me what true love really is by dying on the cross for me. MY FAVORITE HYMN El Shaddai MY FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrific for our sins. 1 John 4:10 I pray that if you haven't found the true love of Jesus Christ that you will very soon. All you need to do is confess that you are a sinner, believe that Jesus died for you and ask him into your heart. He is waiting for you with open arms.
TROPHIES There were wounds that now are scars There were times I felt despair When strong words of rejection You have picked me up, Lord Jesus Copyright 1999 Melinda Lancaster Thank you Melinda for allowing me to use this beautiful poem. Be sure and check out Melinda's other poems.
|
