Santa Funnies!

(Jokes and Stuff)



What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas day?
Sandy Claws

How do a flock of sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!

Did you hear one of Santa's reindeer got a new job?
Yes, Comet Now cleans sinks!

What do Santa and his elves have for breakfast?
Snowflakes

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Snow
Snow Who?
Snow use, I have forgotten the name.

What carol does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
"Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells!"

Where would a snowman go to dance?
The Snowball of course.

What would you call anyone afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Why does Santa Claus take care of 3 gardens?
Because he likes to "hoe, hoe, hoe!"

What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite

What would you get if you crossed an archer and a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood

What would be a holiday for toothpaste?
"Crest"mas

What do you call a person wearing ear muffs?
Any thing you want, they can't hear you anyway

How many toys can Santa put in an empty bag?
One, after that it isn't empty anymore!

Where would Santa Claus go swimming?
In the North Pool.

Why did Santa Claus tiptoe past the tents?
He didn't want to wake up the sleeping bags!

What is red, white and blue all over?
A very sad candy cane.



Top 10 Comments Overheard in The Reindeer Team

10. "Sheesh! What's he been eating this year year? Rocks?"

9. "He shouts out all our names all the time, sure, but do you think he really knows which one is which?"

8. "I never knew Donner had a tattoo there."

7. "Sure, HIS seat is a flotation device. What about us?"

6. "Have you tried those new lite oats?"

5. "Man, I hope we pause on a rooftop soon. I'm beat."

4. "Hey!! Watch the antlers, fellah!"

3. "Did you hear that you-know-who got a nose job?"

2. "You know after a few hundred thousand miles, those jingling bells really get annoying."

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT IS:

1. "So, you wanna go somewhere afterward for some reindeer games?"



GET ME OUTTA HERE