My name is Little Flower. I used to be called something else. I was the anger part of everyone.
Not the vengeful anger but the righteous anger. The anger that would cry and scream and what
to know why I couldn’t have been born into a normal family.
I still don’t have the answers to that and to be honest it will haunt me forever. I have tried to use
Faith to overcome the anger but it is still there. It gets so much worse when the parents come to
visit. I am supposed to smile and go on, like they hadn’t done anything to me in my whole life.
They don’t know or don’t care that I am not normal by their standards.
My older brother, who used to rape me whenever he could, asked my mother, “Why can’t she just
forget?”. Well big brother you screwed up my life and everything in it. You made my childhood
hell, between you and the father I never had a chance. You laughed at me and tortured me and
even broke into my apartment to rape me. There was nothing but you and dad in my life always
chasing me, always tearing at me. I hated the life I had and I am trying not to hate you.
Now, Thank God, I have a normal life. I try and stay in the back ground as much as possible
because I don’t want to wreck up the others happiness. I am still primary made of hate and
anger, and anger that goes so deep that I can’t find the bottom.
Of all the personalities I will be the only one to admit it. I cannot forgive and I hate those who
did this to me. I am honest.
I was hurt so bad and am so damaged that I will never be normal. I have never tasted food or had
a conversation that wasn’t in anger. So I don’t have likes and dislikes. Every now and then I do
come out to watch a sunset and think maybe the world isn’t quite so bad.
I love our gentleman in the only way I know how. I am not angry with him and every now and
then I am with him, he knows me not. I don’t want him to know me for I am ugly and mean.
I do thank him for my name, Little Flower.
Beseen Bulletin board will be closing down on the 18th of August, would you please start now posting in our new board. Thank you for your help. Serena
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