Every child has a monster in their head, how many of you remember the one that lived under your bed and you were just sure was going to jump out and get you at night. There were also the one in the open closet door, that was just waiting for you to fall asleep and then it will pounce, or maybe the one that lived in the big spooky old tree outside your window. All children have them but for some they were very real.
For some is was the sound of slippers shuffling towards your room and the heavy breathing of your Step Grandfather by your bed. For others it was the quiet stillness of a house where they were left alone with their father, who would just softly say, “Come upstairs with me now.” These were the real Monsters in a person with DID’s life. The ones that forced their real personality to retreat and hide in their own mind, while someone else was forced out of their mind to take the punishments, the abuse, the sexual abuse, the pain, the hell. From these incidents came many different personalities for all of us. Some of the personalities themselves were monsters and inflicted their share of pain. Meanwhile the child has to keep acting normal and really doesn’t know any different if the abuse was started early enough.
Now that I have defined that let me tell you. This section isn’t about those kinds of Monsters. For most of us those monsters are dead or gone from our lives now but they left the remnants behind for us to learn to deal with. Having never been an oneness person most of us do well but then they are the Monsters that feed on the DID or anyone who has a mental disturbance. They are the Psychologists that mess us up more than ever, they are the ministers that claim we are possessed, they are the men who like to have sex with us and then leave us high and dry. They are the people who mean well try to make us one, instead of helping us become where we can get a long with each other. They are the Monsters that we all fear. Every time one of my DID friends sees a new shrink or therapist or T’s as they are known of in our circle, we are forced to wonder what will happen to them now. Will this one put them in the hospital never to be seen again? Or maybe just take all their money and leave them with nothing but a bill and a whole lot of nothing. Will they prescribe new medications that will make them nothing more than walking zombies, or will they use them sexually?
Please don’t get us wrong, there are good people out there that understand and help us. We are learning fast though that we call them friends and we are learning how to steer clear of the monsters. Not all medical personnel are Monsters, most GP and PA’s and other physicians are helpful and good to us, but we must be careful.
On the maps of the world that were made before Columbus or whoever proved the world was round, they would show the world up to the horizon and then where the horizon ended in their flat maps, would be the words. “Here Lies Monsters!” Well in this section of MPD Rules, “Here Lies Monsters!”
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Beseen Bulletin board will be closing down on the 18th of August, would you please start now posting in our new board. Thank you for your help. Serena
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