"Cable TV"I used to think my life was so empty
I used to think life was passing me by
I was just about ready
To curl up and die

But one day I got a visit
From the cable company
They hooked me up, plugged me right in
And now I've got cable TV

And so I get to watch...
The stock report in Korean
Midget wrestling on channel 3
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em
Yeah, but that's OK with me....

I got cable TV (cable TV)
Cable TV (cable TV)
Eighty-three channels of ecstasy
I love my cable TV, yeah
Love my cable TV

I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network
The news and weather from Peru
I got celebrity hockey
And raquetball channel two
Bug Bunny direct from Atlanta
Mr. Wizard is on at five
I've got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car
So I can watch MTV while I drive

I'm talking 'bout
Real quality programs
The type you just can't get for free
Now I'm never gonna leave my apartment
Cos there's just so much for me to see

On my cable TV (cable TV)
Cable TV (cable TV)
Yeah, if you have a problem you know where I'll be:
Watching my cable TV, yeah
Watching my cable TV

My friends they're getting kinda worried
They think I'm turning into some kind of freak
But they're just jealous
'Cause I've seen "Porky's" twenty-seven times this week

On my cable TV (cable TV)
Cable TV (cable TV)
The greatest thing that ever happened to me
I love my cable TV, yeah
I need my cable TV
Can't live without my cable TV, yeah
Watching my cable TV