Signs You Live in Bandytown

*These "signs" are meant to be clean harmless fun and are not meant to upset or offend anyone! Some of these are "inside jokes" but most of them are simply the truth.

  1. You know that gossip is actually the only thing that can travel faster than the speed of light.
  2. You look out your window to see your neighbor's face pressed up against it.
  3. You see a rather large group of kids and immediately call the cops.
  4. You see the same kids leave after all of the town heard on the scanner that "the cops are coming."
  5. You have 911 and Boone County Sheriff's Department on speed dial
  6. You are accused of crimes you haven't committed but over 100 people saw you do it.
  7. You can get a Giovanni's Pizza to your house faster than a law officer or an ambulance.
  8. You take bets on how fast the traffic can get their speeds up on the "Bandytown turnpike."
  9. You know "Officer Weagle!"
  10. You're tired of the phone popping and cracking every time it rains.
  11. Walking around at night automatically makes you suspicious or a prowler and results in you being spotlighted.
  12. You've heard of a "Chicken Tree."
  13. The nearest Wal-Mart is over an hour away.
  14. You're tired of those "stinky" ponds that almost take your breath away.
  15. You know what a "wet banana" is.
  16. You've ever called the law in advance on Halloween.
  17. You and your family's lifelong goals are for you to grow up and receive checks or food stamps from the government.
  18. You've heard about a "baby-maker".
  19. Everyone tells you to "Get in the house".
  20. You've heard of the group of old men who proclaim themselves to be "Beer Bottle Baptist" and realize that they are apparently a well-known organization.
  21. You must drive slowly due to cars stopped in the middle of the road getting the latest gossip from the neighbors.
  22. Women with big hair and scary voices are completely normal to you.
  23. You hear loud mumbling and actually understand most of it.
  24. The wind blows and the power goes out.
  25. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't.
  26. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
  27. It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawnmower.
  28. Prank phone calls can last for five hours.
  29. You know everyone's family tree.
  30. "Double D" can beat you to Madison using only his thumb!
  31. You know of drug dealers that have drive-thrus.
  32. You've ate, read, slept, or just sit and talked in the middle of the road on a public two-lane highway.
  33. You own a telescope for the sole purpose of spying on the neighbors.  After all, it does bring in a better picture than those cheap binoculars.
  34. You have a gossip phone chain and when you hear news you go down your list of people and call them up to make sure they get the word out.
  35. "Chicken Catching" is a well known family event.
  36. You have had your washing machine inspected.
  37. You have tried to sale a $10,000 house for $90,000.
  38. You have taken a "lap around the hollar".
  39. You know that the roads in the mountains are taken better care of than the main public roads.
  40. You wouldn't dare step foot in the river because "it's hard to tell what's in that water".
  41. You have heard of or ate a fruit called a "Papple" which consists of a pear and an apple combined into one fruit.
  42. You have never had to put up Christmas lights cause you leave them on your house year after year.
  43. You have ever called more than three people a "homewrecker" on different occasions.
  44. You have ever called 911 to report a "suspicious train".  To see for yourself how suspicious this train is look at it's picture.
  45. You have an overwhelming dislike for Verizon.
  46. You read and realize just how true most of these signs are!