BANDYTOWN, WEST VIRGINIA

Feel free to contact us anytime at pictures@bandytown.com

The Bandytown Spy made an appearance several months after this site was created in January 2004. By the time December came around, the spy had given us several reports on Bandytown. Along with their "inside" look at Bandytown you also get a dose of sarcasm, mixed with hilarious comments, slight taste of the latest gossip and topped with some crazy quotes. Many of you have questioned the identity of the spy for some time now, but no one has guessed who it is. The owner of this site and the Bandytown spy are not the same person. Below are all of the spy reports from 2004 ! If you would like to submit your own report go to the bottom of this page for more information!

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: April 18, 2004
Time:: 12:31 AM

Comments

This is the inside news. A new animal has been welcomed to Bandytown. It is a large brown horse with the company of goats. It is turning into a farm. Politic signs clutter up the road sides. There will be more insight in the future.


Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: April 18, 2004
Time:: 11:01 PM

Comments

The rest of the story. The volleyball season has started at the Twilight court. A new stray dog has appeared. Hopefully, it will scare off the dozen of stray cats roaming around town. There was also an act of heroism this past week. Three Bandytown citizens saved two dogs stranded on a cliff. Stay tuned in for the rest of the story!

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: April 25, 2004
Time:: 06:02 PM

Comments

It has been a few days since my last entry. Since then, the new stray dog has managed to escape the clutches of the dogcatcher a few times. A cooler was stolen from the back of a citizen's truck. There has been many accusations; however, walking around Bandytown at night is not grounds to accuse someone. If you have any information concerning the whereabouts of the red cooler, you know who to contact. Don't forget to have your cats and dogs spaded or neutered.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: April 25, 2004
Time:: 06:15 PM

Comments

Here is some juicy gossip I forgot. At approximately 11:30 pm, a DirecTV van was driving around town. It was trying to locate a residents house. The resident ran down the road in his underwear to catch him. The man was a suspicious character who looked like a burnt out 70's hippie. However, he saved the day. Until next time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: May 04, 2004
Time:: 09:57 PM

Comments

Bandytownians don't put up with harassment especially when it deals with Bandytown or Boone County. The perpetrator should expect Boone County's finest knocking on their door in the near future. Twilight Park looks totally different with the new, spray painted look. It is a diamond in the rough. The stray dog is finally gone. The dogcatcher finally outsmarted her. It only took about three times to catch her. A tree fell in a resident's yard and will probably continue to stay there until the end of summer. The "abandoned" $90,000 house's Christmas lights have been taken down by a ghost or local vandal. Who knows? The missing cooler has been replaced with a new or old one. Who knows? If you have any information or want to know any more "dark" secrets, please contact me at my new address. Until next time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: May 06, 2004
Time:: 11:29 PM

Comments

"Well, I bet the neighbors are just lovin this!" This a popular quote from Thelma Harper on Mamma's Family. This can sum up most of what goes on in Bandytown. I am sad that I haven't received any mail yet. The only inside scoop I have right now is that a county commissioner paid a visit. He discussed the future plans for the Twilight Park. Until next time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: September 30, 2004
Time:: 12:47 AM

Comments

I AM BACK!!! There is a whole summers worth to gossip and talk about. The tree I predicted would be there until the end of summer only made it about 3/4 of the summer. It was cleaned up be a resident who purchased a dozer and cleaned most of the upper holler up. Bandytown now has new residents on the upper end of town. The stray dog at the mines is still there. Yet another stray dog was taken in by a local. This dog has the reputation of biting. The dog along with two others attacked a goat. The names of the animals are not mentioned to protect the owners. A rather large tree was cut down because of the wrecks it almost caused. I am sure the owner will just love the job the state road did! A tree fell on a resident's car and building resulting 911 being called. The tree fell due to winds caused by Hurricane Ivan. Bandytown now has freshly painted double yellow lines on the road. However, they were damaged because of someone wanted to leave footprints. The Summer of 2004 was the year of the Wet Banana. Many people enjoyed it throughout the summer. The "Rock House" is now being occupied. Bandytown is now minus one chicken thanks to a speeding motorist. This chicken evidently didn't cross the road. The local apple and "papple" trees have been raided until their branches become bare. Many Bandytowners are preparing for Halloween. Keep an eye out for anything out of the norm. (For y'all who know B-town, you know nothing is normal here.) Until next time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: October 03, 2004
Time:: 01:31 AM

Comments

I hate to deliver the sad message of Tinkerbell, the goat, is no longer a resident of Bandytown. The owners sent her packin'. The streetlight is now back on. It now has become the brightest of streelight of about 40. We would also like to welcome three new residents who will be residing in "the house on the hill." The squashed chicken is now out of the road but not thanks to the owner. A local dog found it to be quite delicious. A local family had a run in with the law; however, she will not be joining Martha Stewart in Alderson. In the area of Martha Freewill Baptist Church, 911 was alerted of an electrical fire. Many residents were questioned, but surprisingly no one knew of such. It has also been brought to my attention of some mysterious characters pointing at various houses. This could be a neighbor just being too nosy. Until next time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: October 31, 2004
Time:: 07:09 PM

Comments

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack and with more gossip than ever. Bandytown has been struck with garage mania. A large block one was built over the summer and it started a trend. Since then, there have been three more taxable additions. A resident is also building a structure for their RV, but it is looking more like a bomb shelter. The bulldozer has went buck wild again this time on Greene Cemetery. There was also a farewell party for a Bandytowner who will be joining the Army. Suspicion was raised when all the lights were out at the old Bandytown Mine area. The power and phone companies trimmed the trees at the end of town. However, the quality of the lines were not improved. We have a new candidate for Btown mayor, and she is endorsed by many residents and companies. (This is just a running joke. She will not be on the ballot.) Bandytown is also gearing up for November 2. All Bandytown residents are encouraged to vote at the Martha Freewill Baptist Church. After this fiasco, those political sign garbage can be cleaned up until four more years. Many locals are getting in the mood for the holiday season. With the recent good weather, many lights have been strung. The Bandytown "unincorporated" sign will be getting a new neighbor possibly. That is if my sources are right. Bandytown celebrated Halloween with many trick-or-treaters and two Hatfield-McCoy feuds. There was potential to bring Jerry Springer to the streets of Bandytown. However, only "cussin" and name calling only went on. Large crowds flocked to one squabble. The crowds hoped for punches and hair pullin, but it didn't happen. Threats of calling the police were made, but Boone County's finest made no appearance. They have bigger fish to fry on Halloween night. Other than these two squirmishes, kids ran door to door getting the sugary goodness. Until next time!

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: December 10, 2004
Time:: 10:55 PM

Comments

It's me again Margaret! I have been really busy, but boy do I have some gossip for my devoted fans. My last escapade was Halloween. Since then, Bandytown saw record number turn outs for the 2004 Elections. According to the CVN, John Kerry won the Bandytown precinct along with the McGraw brothers, Ken Hechler, and Joe Manchin. These are a few. I am sad to say the endorsed mayor for Btown didn't win. I guess experience does matter. (This is a joke about the mayor.) A local resident almost got a "wall hanger." She smacked a rather large buck with her truck, but he managed to run away from the two who tried to finish him off. My hat is off to the deer for outsmarting them even though 3 outta 4 legs were broke. If the truck didn't do him in, the rifle season may have. The echoing of rifles sounded like WWIII going on right here "in Goooood Ooole Bandyyyyytown." The godfather of garage mania served as a slaughter house for the four legged hood ornaments. Speaking of hood ornaments, a bulldog hood ornament was stolen and several accused. No one has been caught or turned themselves in. If you have any information, you know my email address so the ransom can be given the person who stole it. It made the clunker look better without it. The bulldozer bandit struck again. It appears at wee hours of the night making B-town prettier or uglier. Beauty is in the eye of the Bandytowner. Speaking of finished projects, the RV parking place is finished. Like I said, beauty is in the eye of the Bandytowner. I also believe the Christmas decorations fall under this category also. Some are beautiful and some leave to be desired. However, one residence can be seen from outer space. Clark Griswald move over. The glow from the lights looks like a Fourth of July celebration. They receive my best decorations award! (Don't feel too happy, the competition wasn't much.) Some of the decorations were blown all to tarnation. It was pandalerium. All I could think about that the wind do some fixin' to some of the decorations. The wind was an improvement to some. The wind was a result of weird weather we have been receiving. We are yet to have the first accumulation of snow. The kids sleds and tubes are all polished up with no where to go. The kids, however, can enjoy the things going on at Van High School. The Christmas Formal Dance will go on December 11th. Now that's a fun time. Football season is over, and basketball players can't wait to hit the court. It has been brought to my attention that a local Bandytown star athlete is playing college football. We know he will represent Bandytown well. He is just one of our hometown celebrities. Bandytown is a celebrity in itself. It made the Coal Valley News not once, but twice. It had its own little section and then it was featured in the B.A.R.N. section. You may read them via the news page. I believe I have covered things from the past month and a half. If I failed to mention anything, you know how to contact me. Until Next Time America.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: December 20, 2004
Time:: 07:53 PM

Comments

The neighbors surly aren't loving this. This sums up the last ten days since my last entry. It was sad to see the disappointment on the young sleigh riders faces. A resident left to be anonymous told them almost everything except "get off my property." The kids were out enjoying the freshly fallen snow. The slick roads were the cause of school being cancelled. The bus driver didn't have a prayer if he wanted to make it to Bandytown. Christmas is right around the bend. With the help of a few youngsters, Christmas cards were delivered personally with a smile; however, they weren't welcomed by some. During the holiday season, some Bandytowners have lost their Christmas cheer. A few grouchy neighbors have the Grinch or Scrooge on speed dial along with the local police department. They don't know how to reach the 911 center. I would hate to be on their Christmas list. That's enough on the grouches. It leaves the rest of us to carry on the Bandytown Christmas traditions. Some person(s) "rearranged" a residents Christmas decorations. Now if only they would plug them in. Speaking of Christmas lights, they are the suspects in the recent power outage. If you have any information or find the hiding Christmas lights, call AEP. They may be armed so approach with caution. They are also wanted for arson. They blew up a transformer cause it to catch the pole and power lines on fire. They also caused emotional distress on a few residents. Verizon was spotted on Chester Lane. I am surprised he wasn't run off due to the dislike of the phone company. It must have been an emergency. The quality of the lines are the same ones when the phone was invented. Something that may pose as a threat to Bandytown is pesky beavers. They are damming up the mine polluted river and gnawing on trees that could fall on power lines. The pollutants in the river may cause the beaver to mutate. Watch out for three eyed beavers with chainsaws for teeth. All jokes aside, beavers are present in Bandytown. Who knows how they found this little slice of Heaven. Until Next Time America. P.S. G.B.B.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: December 25, 2004
Time:: 11:31 AM

Comments

Merry Christmas Everyone! I thought I would just tell everyone I will soon have my Bandytown Christmas report. Stay tuned!

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: January 06, 2005
Time:: 08:20 PM

Comments

Preach it ATV Rider! You got an Amen from me!!! Ms. Kathy from Madison please visit this link. It has the complete list if ATV laws and regulations and no where does it give you the permission to "run" an ATV rider down. Why do you pick on Bandytown when the whole county rides ATV's on the roads. You or some of your family probably is guilty of riding on the roads. The potholes are too bad and the ATV or what I call a four-wheeler makes it easier to dodge the craters. However, I do agree with you that this is a lovely site. On a less angry note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BANDYTOWN.COM !!! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S TO ALL OF MY ADORING FANS. I even got my own special page and don't forget to visit it. I am still waiting for some juicy gossip in my mail so get a typin'. I wasn't lying about the beavers in Bandytown. Pete from Pinsonfork, KY (near Williamson, WV) verified my sightings. Pete just let me know when the 3-eyed mine water mutated creatures tries to chase you down. That also goes for you Ms. Kathy. The holidays in good ol Bandytown went pretty good. It was no where as eventful as Halloween. Christmas cards were exchanged as usual. I got tip of presents being on the Yuke Road. They were opened with the contents stolen. I am still pondering where they came from. If you have any info, you know how to reach me. We got our annual air horn honkin' from our friends up the holler. Almost every resident was out to see what the commotion was about. They seem to forget it happens every year. My sweet fans don't forget to submit your own gossip anonymously on my page. It gives ya'll a chance to see Bandytown through the eyes of the spy. I challenge everyone of my readers to see who can send me the best truthful gossip. It may even make its way into my report. Until Next Time America. P.S. G.B.B. P.S.S. Keep kids alive, drive 25mph through Bandytown. NASCAR isn't looking for drivers in Bandytown.

Name:: Bandytown Spy
Email:: bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date:: February 19, 2005
Time:: 09:49 PM

Comments

Good bye to the chubby man wearing a diaper and hello to a little redheaded man wearing green. The leprechauns of B-town invited you to discover Bandytown and let it be your pot of gold. After all of the feelings and affection sharing, bring on the green beer. Since my last entry, three car accidents have taken place. One almost knocked a trailer off its foundation on Carver Street. Another happened down at the old mines. A car slammed into the cement barriers right before the bridge. The third wreck happened when a cement truck ran off the road right before the mines where the beaver dams are. All the beavers could say was "I'm coming to join ya Elizabeth." Many residents pointed, laughed, and yelled rude gestures at the man who couldn't drive. Speaking of bad drivers, the upcoming NASCAR season has made many believe tryouts are held in Bandytown. The B-town Turnpike will soon be renamed to Bandytown International Speedway. VAAAAAROOOOO and a streak is all you can see. The $90,000 has been sold for anywhere from $10,000-15,000. Someone bought some prime real-estate for gossiping. They have the ability to spy on both sides of the holler and the bottom half of Bandytown. Boone County Cops have made several appearances to quiet Bandytown. Domestic and looting have been a few reasons not to mention someone setting of top of a house poaching animals. Down at the old mines, there is a new bright light and suspicious fire behind the mines. I guess the security guards are having a late night weenie roast. A new power project is going one up Steer Holler in Bandy's Brach. The reason for this is still unknown. Someone has been sending blank emails to the spy. I want some juicy gossip not a blank page. Until Next Time America.

Name: Bandytown Spy
Email:bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date: January 05, 2007
Time: 02:19 PM

Comments

"Greetings y'all and welcome all you foreigners from other nations." I must apologize to all of my adoring fans for my brief hiatus. Never fear, the spy has returned and is ready to satisfy your long anticipated gossip craving. So here it is the inside news or as Paul Harvey would put it, "the rest of the story." It's been well over a year since the last time I have written and that means that I'm bringing more to the table. Bandytown is just oozing with juicy gossip, hearsay and inside news. It's hard to really begin to find a place to start. Bandytown has came a long way since my last issue of the inside news. Some things have changed while others have remained "same ol' same ol'."

The Bandytown.com sign at the beginning of town was destroyed after it was hit by several large trucks hauling mining equipment through town. The sign was ripped off the pole and each time it was placed back on the pole it was just ripped off again. The Bandytown Unincorporated has seen some damage of its own, but not from large trucks. The sign rather was painted on by disrespectful vandals. The sign's neighbor, the neighborhood crime watch sign was also "violated." Dedicated Bandytowners took cleaning solvents and rags to the signs and cleaned them and restored them back to normal while the vandals sit in the windows of their home and watched. The vandals were informed that was destroying state property and they could be prosecuted if they do it again. Needless to say, none of the signs have been touched since. While on the subject of signs, I must inform everyone that every street sign in Bandytown has been stolen except one sign and that is just because it has been violated so many times that no one wants to steal it.

Bandytown has welcomed new neighbors into town while saying "good riddance" to others who have moved out of town. Some of the "troublemakers" have moved out of town and once again Wilbarn Street has been given back to the State of WV. At one time Wilbarn Street was owned by residence who thought they owned the whole holler and demanded peace and quiet at all hours. That has all changed. Other houses in town remain empty with uncertain futures of new occupants or just lying empty for years to come. Even though we gained Wilbarn Street back as a public alley we lost another one. There is an unnamed alley as you come into Bandytown and some new neighbors have taken over it claiming it is part of their property. They have cussed and people and even threatened with physical violence. Some people just think they own everything! Other new neighbors are a live version of the Jerry Springer show. There aren't words to describe these neighbors so we'll leave it at that.

The old Bethlehem mine has seen all kinds of action in the last year. Some parts of the old mines were torn down while other parts were reused in a new production plan to haul coal from another adjacent mine. Massey Energy used trucks to haul coal from Twilight through Bandytown to Eagle Energy. This lasted for several weeks and resulted in nothing but speeding complains, dust problems and other nuisance complaints. Massey Energy announced plans that they had sold some of their coal reserves to better benefit their stockholders. The reserves that were sold were the old Bethlehem slate dump which was purchased and was renamed Frasure Creek Mining. They are hauling coal down to the stockpile that was originally used for the first plan to haul coal from Twilight. The coal is been transported "out of the holler" by trains. So once again trains have been running out of Bandytown. Luckily, no one has called and reported any of them for looking suspicious. The guards at the mines are taking their jobs way to seriously. They are hovering over top of you and following you around even if you are just going to the cemetery. They will follow you around like you just packed off a truckload of stuff. Someone needs to tell them to chill out that everything of any value was already stolen from down there years ago by a certain someone we'll leave unmentioned. No one apparently cared when it was stolen, nor did Massey even have security guards down there to "protect their stuff" so I don't know why they care so much now. As most people would say "all the good stuff is already gone." So the next time you go visit your loved ones at Mid Ferrell Cemetery be prepared to be stopped, questioned, have a background check ran, answer 4000 questions, tell them your mother's maiden name, your social security number and they may even frisk you, which some may enjoy. The guards act like they are guarding all the gold at Fort Knox. Give some people a badge and a uniform and they turn into Robo Cop.

Many locals are getting in the mood for the holiday season. With the recent good weather, many lights have been strung. You could land an airplane on Wilbarn Street. Some residents decorated their house and lawns beautifully while leaving others to be something desired. I think Bandytown had more Santas, reindeer, and baby Jesus' per capita east of the Mississippi. Luckily there weren't any transformer explosions this year due to the many strands of lights using all the power produced by the locally mined coal. Residents better be prepared for next years with the Christmas light battle amongst the residents. The usual of trading Christmas Cards and a yearly visit from Santa made Christmas in Bandytown a delight for all the residents even in spite of the occasional Christmas light vomit here and there. Some people need to have their power cut off because of their bad decorating. This just doesn't apply to Bandytown residents but for everyone.

Speaking of coal, this area depends on the black gold brought out of the hill of the area. Many people would go hungry and be unemployed if it was for the discovery of coal in Boone County in the 1700s by John Peter Salley. It does more than keep the lights on, it keeps Boone County alive. However, like everything else, coal mining has two sides. I think the good outweighs the bad. I would love to see half of the people that complain about mining try to live in this area without mining. It affects your life in one way or another. You may not think so but it does. You may not work for the mines but it's almost certain someone in your family at one point did. Take mining out of this holler and what do you have left… big bunch of nothing. If you don't like mining, move out of the area.

With Spring right around the corner, I think Bandytown could use a little spring cleaning. Some people have already started but have quit the job. It looks like Hurricane Ivan has made his way back to Bandytown. Some of the yards could be mistaken for a yard sale or open air flea market. Bandytown is a beautiful place so let's keep it that way. I just wish it would snow so it would cover up the mess for a bit.

Bandytown has many hidden gems. Who would have thought beavers would take up home in Bandytown. Or did you know that Bandytown has enough dogs, cats, and other farm animals to start a petting zoo? There should be a charge just to get into town to see the turkeys, chickens, goats, and other various four legged freaks (and don't forget to ones that walk on two as well.) Bandytown has its own drag strip as well. We will eventually have the Bandytown 500 on the NASCAR circuit. This twinkling town in Boone County has more to offer than one expects. Bandytown is rich in history and with residents that live here now, I am sure there will be a bright future. The year 2006 was a blast, and I'm sure 2007 won't be a disappointment either. Until Next Time America!

P.S. If I have offended anyone who reads this, then I have done my job. The truth hurts and it's a cruel and unfair world. Please remember this isn't like the Coal Valley News, other's opinions and complaints aren't welcomed.

Name: Bandytown Spy
Email:bandytown_spy@hotmail.com (Use this address to report news and gossip)
Date: September 08, 2009
Time: 02:19 PM

Well as Jeff Foxworthy would put it "Greetings Y'all and welcome all dang foreigners from other nations." I know it's been awhile and you are going through withdrawals from your gossip updates. Never fear, I am back with an update bigger, juicier and definitely well worth the wait. A lot has happened since my last update and I am going to try my best to sum it all up for you.

First I would like to start out with a bit of odd news that is irrelevant to Bandytown. One can only hope that an event like this would occur at a church in Bandytown in the near future. The Living Word Assembly of God Church in Ontario, NY is hosting a church breakfast that isn't your typical church gathering. The event is called "Porn and Pancakes" and is a pancake breakfast along with an honest discussion of the porn industry in America and its effects on society. The event is being advertised with large billboards as well as television commercials. I can already see the looks on the faces of these old women in Btown now if an event like that was ever hosted at a local Btown church. However, I am sure many of the mature congregation members could use the extra stimulation. Who knows they may even make up a song about it.

Speaking of churches, the Martha Freewill Baptist Church in Bandytown recently constructed a new addition to their existing church. The old ladies aide building was torn down and a new modern building was constructed and connected to the back of the existing church building. The new building is very nice and gives churchgoers much more room to hold conferences, dinners and etc. The building is also available to local residents for birthday parties, baby showers, family dinners and etc. The building was rumored to have a hefty price tag. For those of you wondering, this project was not paid for by Obama's stimulus money. The price tag was rumored to be so high; that if a member of the church congregation dropped out or couldn't pay their dues, the church wouldn't be able to pay for the new addition. Talk about praying to God….Boone County Bank would then be put in position of repossessing from God. Upon construction of the new building, the church took it upon themselves to "play God" and reroute the mighty West Fork river. The project was done to prevent flooding of the new building; however the church used an inexperienced bulldozer operator. This resulted in a large mess and actually increased the flood risk for some land owners. Talks of possible lawsuits were overheard at a Sunday school session. With money trouble already overshadowing the church offering plate, a lawsuit would definitely take the church under if the ground doesn't swallow it up first. Maybe a porn and pancake fundraiser is the answer?

Bandytown residents have been cleaning up storm debris since spring of this year. "Hurricane Katrina" moved though the area and left the whole town destroyed from one end to the other. The storm downed trees and power lines snapping them like toothpicks. It was a sad day in the history of Bandytown when the infamous chicken tree was toppled over and laid on the ground helplessly. The chicken tree was just one of the many trees that fell that day; including another tree which fell through a resident's house. Unfortunately, the tree through the house wasn't enough to make this person move. Resident's were spotted repairing damage with duct tape, Wal-mart bags, flashlights and alcohol. Verizon was forced to work several days restoring phone service to residents. The storm actually did a little bit of improvement to some resident's yard blowing off trash, kids and cats among other things that created hideous landscape. The power outages from the storms created a perfect opportunity for looting damaged areas. Some people sent their kids out to go through the storm rubbish like it was priceless treasures. It reminded me of an episode of the popular television sitcom "Roseanne" where a tornado destroyed their neighborhood and Roseanne allowed her kids to loot the neighborhood as long as they didn't bring anything back that wasn't her size. The scenery of Bandytown has been forever changed.

Our neighbors at Lindytown/Robinhood are being given the opportunity to be "bought out" by Massey Energy's Progress Coal. Many residents of these areas jumped on the opportunity to "move out of the holler" and buy them a new house. Unfortunately, some of the abandoned houses have been destroyed and are collapsing within themselves. The area is now looking like a ghost town being overrun by vandals and thieves. This was a strategic move on Massey Energy do to the fact that residents of these areas were complaining over the blasting and dust from the adjacent strip mines among other reasons. The residents haven't been only ones complaining as the West Fork has been invaded by "treehuggers." A group of 14 environmentalists (all from outside of WV) walked through the mountains in the middle of the night onto Progress Coal's MTR site in Twilight. They had planned to protest at the site by placing huge banners all of the property. They placed themselves and employees of the mines in extreme danger and as a result all 14 protesters were arrested. To prevent future incidents, Massey Energy has "beefed up" security by placing security guards nearly everywhere around their properties.

Folks it don't a take a PhD for someone to know that if you stop coal production, you are killing Boone County. Boone County has no other major businesses besides the mining industry to keep the county going. So for those of you that aren't coal miners and think that coal mining doesn't affect you, wake up! If you allow these treehuggers from outside of our state to come in and stop our jobs then you may as well start packing your bags because Boone will be done for. The treehugger bonanza recently intensified when one particular female environmentalist won an award of $150,000. That resulted in many people thinking "hmm she complained about mountaintop removal and they gave her $150,000 I'm going to do it too." So now there are all kinds of clueless people out there trying to cause people to loose their jobs just so they can try to "hit the big time." It was rumored that she took the money and purchased a large security fence and placed it around her property. After causing nearly 200+ men to loose their jobs, that was probably a good investment. The Obama administration also believes that this particular environmentalist is also the cause of the recession and the reason for the current condition of United States economy.

Wilburn Street has seen a surge in high speed internet mania as many residents have opted to get Hughesnet to keep up with the Jones. Many people have gotten tired of waiting on Verizon to bring high speed into the area. They can't even bring us reliable phone service so I know they won't bring us high speed internet. Verizon recently brought high speed internet to Van, Gordon, Cazy, Bob White and Brown's Branch. When asked about the possibility of expanding their services to Bandytown, they estimate possibly 2 years or more before high speed will make it to Btown. However, Colane Cable (which purchased Bradleys Cable) is claiming that they will be offering high speed internet to the Btown/Twilight area within 3-5 months. So only time will tell who wins the race for high speed internet to Btown. If they are as slow as the cops are getting to Btown then we are in for a lonnnnng wait.

I would like to take this opportunity to update everyone on my good friend Jesco White and his outrageous family. Many of you are always interested in what Jesco and his family are into these days. MTV Studios recently released a trailer for the White's new documentary entitled "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia." The trailer is stirring up a ridiculous amount of criticism and praise at the same time. The trailer portrays the White family as the "true rebels of the South" and shows everyone an inside look at their extreme lifestyle. There hasn't been a release date set yet, but an announcement is expected in the near future. Jesco and his sister Mamie recently visited the Appalachian Power Park for "Jesco White Night." The first 1000 fans that came to the park received a free "Dancing Outlaw" bobblefoot doll. Since the event, the bobblefoot dolls have appeared on eBay selling like wildfire. The Whites have been very busy this summer traveling the country. They traveled to Georgia to lone their voices for the Cartoon Network show "Squidbillies" which Jesco and Mamie both have episodes expected to air in early 2010. After returning from Georgia, the Whites packed up once again and headed to Hollywood to view a screening of their new documentary with several producers. Footage from their recent trip to Hollywood can be seen on their official website located at http://www.jackassworld.com/wildwhites. In addition you can also watch the trailer for the new film, Jesco's first skateboarding adventure, red carpet arrivals and much more on the website.

People who break the law remind me of all the recent vandalism in the West Fork area. Some vandals went to Twilight Park and wrote on anything and everything they could find. Luckily, nosey neighbors caught the vandals red-handed and the state police arrived to take matters into their own hands. They only captured two vandals, but that won't help because the real vandals who have spray painted on the greater half of West Virginia remain free. Some people just have absolutely no respect for other people's property. There is a certain family located on the West Fork who enjoy spray paint their names on anything and everything. Boone County Commissioners claim that West Fork resident's can't take care of public property and that's why the county doesn't wish to invest in the West Fork area. It's sad to say but it's a shame that "we just can't have nice things" because of a few ignorant people. I want to know why "the law" doesn't do anything about this. I mean these people are writing their own names EVERYWHERE and it's not like we don't know who is doing it. That's ridiculous and uncalled for and there is no excuse for nothing being done about this.

Besides beavers, there has been a new group interested in our trees that have moved into town. Several logging companies have moved into the Bandytown area. The mountains on the right side of the road before entering Bandytown look completely naked as a majority of the trees have been removed. The logging area isn't getting all of the attention because of a new project occurring directly across the road. This project also involved cutting trees and clearing land. Many area locals heard that the land was being cleared because "they're putting in a Walmart." Sorry to break everyone's heart, but the project is simply a mining fan being placed on the mountainside by Massey Energy. That's right, Bandytown residents now get the pleasure of hearing a loud mining fan run 24/7. After several years in hiding, the "suspicious train" recently made an appearance in the area of the fan. This train was hidden in the bushes near the construction site and resulted in many calls to 911 reporting…you guessed it a "suspicious train." A SUSPICIOUS TRAIN! Are you freaking kidding me? You can't make this stuff up! I need someone to explain to me how a train is suspicious. It can't hide, it can't be sneaky, and it is nothing out of the ordinary in COAL COUNTRY Boone County, WV! 911 is supposed to be used for emergencies, but apparently in Bandytown people use it to report stupid stuff like trains. Other questionable 911 uses in Bandytown includes calls to complain about someone vandalizing a PUMPKIN, the kidnapping of a cat, shoes hanging in the power lines, a stolen igloo cooler, kids squirting water in a neighbors yard with a squirt gun and church services disturbing the peace. Some people are completely ignorant and to think they are legally allowed to interact with the rest of us. This is why the rest of the world is making fun of us here in West Virginia.

At this point, I would like to personally thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my blog. It is very time consuming to keep everyone updated on everyone else's business. It's a hard job but someone has to do it. I would appreciate some comments and kudos in return! It's like pulling teeth to get a compliment around here. If I have offended anyone then my work here is done. Until next America!

Contact me anytime on Myspace at http://www.myspace.com/btownspy or email me at Bandytown_spy@hotmail.com

PS. God Bless Bandytown, Keep Kids Alive Drive 25 and remember this isn't like the Coal Valley News as other's complaints and opinions aren't welcome!

If you would like to submit your own spy report, news or gossip please check me out on Myspace or email at bandytown_spy@hotmail.com or http://www.myspace.com/btownspy ! Your information will be processed and it will become available as soon as possible! You will be completely anonymous so give me a try!