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Chapter Fourteen
Logan watched Buffy run out the door before groaning and rolling over onto his back. What was I thinking, he thought. “Hello,” came Kurt’s softly accented voice from the door. “Is is all right if I come in, mein friend?” “Sure elf, why not?” Logan said with a sigh. “What was that about?” The blue mutant asked as he sat next to his friend. “Did something happen while you were training?” “You could say that,” Logan said slowly. “How upset did she look?” “I think I may have seen tears.” Logan just groaned again and covered his eyes. “What happened?” But Logan refused to answer; he just shook his head. “No, something’s wrong with her and she’s mein friend. I want to know what happened. Did you hurt her?” The other man snorted. “Not in the way you’re thinkin’ kid.” “Then what did you do?” “I kissed her,” Logan answered softly. Kurt looked confused. “And that made her cry?” “No. I think something else did. But I’m not exactly sure what it was. I think Wesley and I are gonna have to talk,” Logan said as he stood and headed to the door. “She does like you,” Kurt called out. Logan stopped and turned around. “How do you figure?” “I can tell by the way she looks at you.” A grunt escaped Logan’s lips before he walked out the door. *********** Buffy rushed into her room and closed the door. She sank back against it. She began whispering to herself. “Pull yourself together, just pull yourself together. You’re the slayer, you can do this. Just pull yourself together.” She hastily wiped the tears off her cheeks. She closed her eyes and did some slow steady breathing to calm herself. Before long she opened her eyes and was calm enough to think. “What the hell just happened,” she asked herself. “One minute we’re tickling then the next we’re kissing... and, and with the kissing... and the kissing... and my hand up his shirt... and, oh my god, the kissing.... We kissed.” A strange look appeared on her face. “And why am I acting like this is the first time I’ve ever been kissed? I’ve been kissed... lots of time. Me... kissed... guys... huh.” She sighed as she sank to the floor in front of her door. “It’s just not right. I can’t get involved with him, it’s too dangerous.” Then she stopped and thought for a second. Too dangerous for him? Oh my god, I’m doing an Angel. I’m even brooding. She sighed. “Why can’t my life be simple? Why must there always be complications?” Buffy was still sitting there a couple of hours later contemplating what to do when there was a knock at the door. She looked up and was surprised to see it had grown dark. “Who is it?” She called out. “It’s me and Fred,” came Rogue’s southern voice through the door. The slayer called out, “Just a sec.” She crossed to the mirror to make sure her make-up hadn’t run. She opened the door and asked, “What’s up?” “We were just goin’ to go out and get some ice cream. Thought you might want come,” Fred said cheerily. “Ice cream sounds yummy. Just give me a chance to change.” Once Buffy was ready, they went downstairs. They were just walking out the door when they saw Ororo. “Hey, ‘Ro. We’re going out for ice cream. Wanna come?” Buffy asked. The white haired mutant smiled and said, “Sure, can you give me a moment?” “Not a prob,” Buffy said. “We’ll be out at the car.” A short time later found the four women sitting at a table outside of the local Dairy Queen. They were eagerly diving into their assorted treats. “So what happened after Bobby and I left trainin’?” Rogue asked as she stuck a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. Buffy avoided looking at her. “What do you mean?” “Kurt said he went down to join you guys, but you rushed out of the room looking upset. Somethin’ go wrong?” “Nnnooo, not exactly,” Buffy said evasively. “Then what happened?” “Nothing.” Ororo looked at her quizzically. “I’m sure it wasn’t nothing. Kurt was really worried about you.” A faint smile appeared on the blonde’s face. “He’s definitely a sweetie, that one,” she said softly. “He’s not the only one who worries,” Fred said. “Logan didn’t look too happy when he came to get Wesley.” Buffy looked up at her sharply. “What do you mean, ‘came to get Wesley’?” “He said he wanted to go out drinking and figured Wes was the only one around who would join him.” “So he’s upset?” Buffy asked. “Yeah, so what happened?” “Well, after you and Bobby left,” Buffy said, indicating Rogue, “Logan and I decided to do some sparring of our own. So we sparred, and then I won, and then I... tickled him.” “You what?” Ororo asked in amazement. “I tickled him. Turns out Wolvie is pretty ticklish.” “Logan is ticklish,” Ororo said slowly. When Buffy nodded a sly smile appeared on the mutant’s lips. “Well now. That’s a piece of information that I’ll have to store away for later use.” “But you didn’t hear that from me!” “Oh no. I didn’t hear that from you,” Ororo said sagely before eating a spoonful of her ice cream. “So is he mad at you for ticklin’ him?” Fred asked. “Well, not exactly. It’s sort of what happened afterwards... I guess.” “What happened?” “We were lying there the trying to catch our breaths, and then, and then the next thing I knew, he was kissing me.” Fred squealed in delight, but Ororo looked confused. “Why would he be upset if he kissed you?” “Well, because it was probably what happened after that?” “Which was?” “There was a knock at the door and suddenly I was all confused. SoIshovedhimoffofmeandranoutthedoor,” she said quickly. “You what? I didn’t quite catch that.” Buffy sighed. “I shoved him off of me and ran out the door. I think Kurt was at the door and I think that’s why he was worried.” “And that’s why he’s upset?” Rogue asked. “I guess so,” Buffy said as she shrugged her shoulders. “But Buffy, why would you run from him?” “It’s a long complicated story. Remember what I told you about me and guys?” The southerner nodded her head. “I didn’t want him to get hurt,” Buffy said softly as she took a bite of her ice cream. Rogue sent Buffy a hard look. “So you made the decision for him?” “Well it’s not just that, Rogue. There are other issues involved.” “Like what?” Ororo asked. “I really don’t want to talk about it,” Buffy said sullenly. Fred reached across the table and grasped Buffy’s hand. “You’re gonna have to let him go sometime. He wouldn’t want you to live this way.” “Who?” Rogue asked. “I know,” Buffy said. “I’m just not sure if I’m ready to move on.” “From who?” Rogue asked. Fred sent Buffy a questioning look and Buffy nodded her head almost imperceptively. “Spike,” Fred said softly. “The vampire with the soul?” The Texan nodded. “Buffy loved him and he died protecting her.” *********** Wesley looked around the bar he was sitting in with mild interest while Logan was getting their drinks. The bar wasn’t large and there weren’t that many people in it. But the music was playing loud enough to prevent eavesdropping but wasn’t so loud that you couldn’t hear yourself think. The mutant hadn’t said much since he had stopped by the Wesley and Fred’s room to ask Wesley if he wanted to go out for a drink. Wesley was worried that there was something on the mutant’s mind that he wanted to talk about without others being around to hear. Logan sat Wesley’s scotch down in front of him and placed his own beer on the table as he sat down. Wesley watched as the man took a long drink from his beer. “Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss?” “I need you to tell me about Buffy,” the reticent man answered after a moment. “That’s a rather broad subject. What exactly would you like to know?” “Why she would be afraid of me.” The former watcher’s face was surprised. “Why would she be afraid of you?” “I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” “Well, perhaps if you tell me the circumstances in which you came to this conclusion I would know where to start.” “We had one of our training sessions with Bobby and Rogue.” Wesley nodded his head absently; hoping this didn’t have anything to do with the kids in some roundabout way. “Then they left and we sparred. The next thing I know she’s on top of me claiming she’s won and she tickles me.” A small smile appeared on Wesley’s face. “You’re ticklish?” “That’s not the issue here,” Logan said with a glare. The British man put his hands up in defense. “Oh, ok. So she tickled you, but you’re not ticklish.” Logan grunted before continuing, “We were messing around and suddenly I was the one on top. Then I kissed her.” Wesley’s drink stopped halfway to his mouth as he looked at Logan. “You kissed her?” “I don’t know what I was thinking,” Logan said as he rubbed his face with his hand. “One minute we’re laughing and the next she’s laying there all beautiful like and I kiss her. There’s a knock at the door and then she shoved me off.” Logan leaned in close. “There was fear in her eyes and I could smell it. What could make her afraid of me?” The other man took a drink of his scotch and then sighed. “It’s not you she’s afraid of, per se.” “Then what is it?” “It’s what you could do to her.” “I wouldn’t hurt her,” Logan said defensively. “Buffy hasn’t exactly had to best luck when it comes to the men in her life.” “Yeah, I heard what Angel did.” “It’s not just Angel,” Wesley said. “Her father divorced her mother, which precipitated their move to Sunnydale. He became less and less of an influence in her life. I don’t think she’s heard from him since her mother died several years ago. And then you know about Angel. She dated a few other boys but none of them stayed with her for long. Buffy dated another man, Riley, seriously in college but he left her while her mother was sick claiming that she didn’t love him enough or was giving him enough attention.” A growl began forming in Logan’s chest. “She died shortly after that for the second time. I trust you know about that?” “Yeah. She said her friend brought her back.” Wesley took another drink. “I’m not sure I should be telling you all of this, but I want you to understand so you don’t hurt her like the others did.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “When Willow brought her back something went wrong.” Logan interrupted. “She told me about waking up in her coffin and havin’ to climb out.” Wesley gave him an odd look. “I woke her from a nightmare about it one night.” “Ah. But did she tell you everything?” “No, that was it.” “Her friends thought they were saving her from a hell dimension, but they weren’t. They ripped her out of heaven.” The mutant sucked in a breath. “Her own friends did that to her?” “They didn’t know, but Willow was cocky with her magic which came back to bite her back later on. When Buffy had come back, something inside her had changed at the cellular level. At the time she didn’t fully understand what that meant, but it has since been explained to her.” “The last slayer with an immortal life.” “Precisely. She first realized something was wrong when Spike...” “That other vampire with a soul?” “At the time he didn’t have a soul, but he did have a chip in his head.” “A chip?” Logan asked in confusion. “Riley was a member of a secret military organization called the Initiative. They captured demons and experimented on them. Spike was one of the ones they had caught. They placed a chip in his head that caused him pain every time he tried to harm a human. He was able to fight demons, however. It was a slow process but he eventually switched to Buffy’s side and fell in love with her. “Even though he had joined the team they always argued. One night he hit her in the middle of a fight and realized it didn’t hurt him. His chip no long registered her as a human. They began an affair shortly after that, but it was a rather abusive one.” “Abusive? Abusive how?” Logan asked, a growl coming back to his voice. Wesley hesitated as he tried to figure out the best way to formulate the answer. “Vampires frequently equate violence as foreplay.” “They beat each other up?” “Sometimes. But most of the time the acts that they performed were not of a civilized nature.” Logan took a long swig of his beer. “She broke it off with him, but one night he came to her and tried to rape her.” Wesley paused as he watched the man in front of him try to control his temper. He swore he saw the tips of the man’s claws peek out from between his knuckles before sliding back in. “He what?” Logan asked in a dangerous voice after a few minutes. “It wasn’t entirely Spike’s fault. She had been constantly sending him mixed signals, telling him no and then throwing herself at him. He was just as lost and confused as she was. As soon as he realized what he was doing he did stop and was filled with remorse for what he had almost done to the woman he had loved. In an effort to prevent it from ever happening again, he left town to get his soul.” Logan raised an eyebrow. “The demon willingly left to get a soul?” “Yes.” “So that’s what she meant,” he muttered under his breath thinking back to the conversation he had overheard between Buffy and Angel. “Then what happened?” “The First Evil reared its head and Spike came back to help. The nature of their relationship slowly changed. They began seeking each other out for comfort, and not of the sexual nature. Many times they just slept in each others arms just to feel the other holding them. When he died,” Wesley said, then paused to take a drink. “When he died protecting her, the last words he spoke to her were ‘I love you’.” Logan got a sinking feeling in his stomach. “And she loved him too,” he whispered. Wesley nodded. “But she never told him. So you see Logan, it’s not just you, it’s partly her. She’s never had a man stick by her. Even her watcher, Giles, a man she thought of as a father, left her for a short time and that was immediately after they discovered she had been in heaven and not hell.” “What am I gonna do? I barely know her, but she’s under my skin and I don’t think she’s ever goin’ to leave.” “I don’t know what to say, other than be patient and let her work out her personal demons on her own.” The mutant looked at Wesley thoughtfully. “Maybe that’s the problem. People have been leaving her to herself for too long. Maybe it’s time for someone to step in and help her.” Previous Part Looking For Tomorrow Menu Next Part |
