a new year...I reappear to post a few journal and disappear for another stretch. Disappear for what reason? To recover briefly? No such luck. more or less disappearing to gather a few threads of sanity that i might salvage or to reflect on dark and hazy flashebacks that i know will only grow stronger with each passing day....as it is every year this time. A short time from now i will predictably plunge back further into Ana's grip. Her words will be stronger and i will be more driven to follow her suggestions. The self-destruction will last for as long as my body can handle it...then i may or may not discover some thread of sanity and reconstruct somewhat of a less ana oriented life.
