Below is a list of questions and statements that you will sometimes hear people say. Okay, well not all of them. Basically it's just a collection of questions and statements that I have, at some point, overheard someone say. Sometimes I want to turn around and interrupt the conversation I heard it from and respond in my own way, but it's just not civil. So here I made a point to create a list of the statements I've been dying to give my replies to. Enjoy:
1. Why are we here?
There's a problem with your question. What does "why" mean to you? Is it a search for a universal meaning for your presence here? If so, it's basically meaningless. That might sound like typical pessimistic, glass-is-half-empty talk, but it makes sense to me. "Why" is not a question when you're talking about existence. "Why" is an an abstract idea developed by someone else's mind. If you were to ask me "why are we here" based on someone else's point of view, then I'm not the one to ask. The question can't be asked on a large scale because then the answer is meaningless and it's not worth asking in the first place. It has to be small things like "Why are we here" in relevance to your workplace. "Because you were scheduled to work today," is one of many possible answers. As for, "why do we exist," well there's no "why" involved here.
2. Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Damn good question. I first heard it in elementary school and although I could give a scientific explanation about ions and the reflecting of light, it still doesn't form a satisfactory answer. However, the white from the snow going somewhere suggests that there is an even distribution of all colour all around the world. Something like thermodynamics, it could be read as "colour cannot be created nor destroyed." So where does the white go? Certainly not into the ground, otherwise you could dig up the soil and find a bunch of white down there after winter. Difficult question. It's the same as "where does the white go when the dog pisses on the snow?" Quite a mystery. I have to say, I honestly don't know.
3. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Everywhere.
4. What is the meaning of life?
That's the exact same question as the first one, but I've heard it used in conjunction with "why are we here" in the same sentence sometimes. People just don't notice their own redundancie. Again, the meaning of life cannot be determined unless the question is narrowed down to a smaller scale. "What is the meaning of life according to Jerry Mills?" would be a much better example. Then you just ask Jerry Mills and he will tell you the meaning of life in relation to his own existence. The meaning of life to me varies depending on who is asking the question, and if they are in fact talking about their own existence, as it was in the "why are we here" question. If Jerry Mills said, "what is the meaning of life?" to me, making reference to his own life and existence, I would reply with, "Jerry, the meaning of your life to me is nothing more than this sentence because this is the last time I will even mention your name, you fictional bastard, you."
5. Did you work over the holidays?
Well, obviously not. Working on a holiday is not really feasible is it? After all, that's what a holiday is: a day off, a time to rest. The minute you start working, the day is no longer a holiday. This is just like asking "did you breathe during your funeral?" Not really possible is it? Besides, anyone who asks questions to a dead person probably shouldn't be allowed to speak at all. Especially if the question contradicts itself.
6. Talk it out.
Here's a fun little principle that they teach you in elementary school about sharing and being kind to one another. "Don't fight about your differences. Talk it out." Since when does fighting have to be physical? What these teachers are telling you is that punching your foe in the face is not the way to solve the problem, whether is resolves the issue or not. They would much rather have you talk it out; you know, scream indignantly at them with all the worst insults you can think of and proceed to verbally abuse your prey until he cries. Then he'll go tell one of the teachers and you know what they'll do? They'll come back, make a false presumption, and say "Let's not fight, boys. Talk it out." This cycle repeats several times over until your foe gets fed up and just punches your lights out. Problem solved.
7. History repeats itself.
Although this is a statement that I don't entirely disagree with, I find that its usage is frequently incorrect and often unnecessary. When taken literally, there are obvious fallacies because, of course, historical events never repeat with perfect precision. The idea behind this sentence is that historical events are only repetitive because human beings don't learn from mistakes that have been made in the past. I feel I must mention that they don't mention this a lot in History courses in school. Only a few of the teachers see past the curriculum and can successfully teach history, not as a series of events, but as a philosophy course that not only tells you what happened in the past, but grants you the ability to predict what will happen in the future. Learning what history is is very simple but understanding that it repeats itself is something entirely different. History is an abstract study in human behaviour that showcases examples of why things happen. Most of the real reasons why things happen can't be put into words and therefore can't be found in a textbook. These are the kinds of things that need to be taught and few teachers can do it because even fewer teachers were taught properly themselves.
8. He died later on as a result of a cardiac arrest.
I nearly laughed out loud when I first heard this. Some guy was explaining how some historical figure lived a long life and although he was the target of many assassins, he was never murdered and died later as a result of a cardiac arrest. Ha! Everyone dies of a cardiac arrest. Your heart stops, you die!
9. I find it ironic that Karl Marx claimed to be an atheist. His idea of communism advocated Christian values.
Just because you agree with Christian values does not automatically make you a Christian person. Atheism is not wholly contradictory to the way of life a religious individual would lead it. Saying that Karl Marx must've been a Christian because of what was in his book is equally fallible a statement as to say that atheism is the complete dichotomy of theism, which it is not. Just because I'm an atheist does not mean that I believe killing someone is right.
10. Put litter in its place.
On the paper cups manufactured by A&W (and most likely other places as well) there is a small label at the bottom saying "Put litter in its place." Basically, it's their way of saying that we should all be feeding the garbage cans instead of throwing it on the ground. All that environmentally concerned hoopla. However, it's terribly flawed. They're referring to the used paper cup as "litter" and that's their problem. Well, the paper cup is not litter and ceases to become litter until we throw it carelessly into the street. Only when it is sitting on the ground somewhere can it be accurately called litter. They're telling us to put litter in its place. Well, litter's place is on the ground not in the garbage can. The garbage can is a place for garbage, not litter. If they're going to label this used paper cup as litter, then tell us to put litter in its place, we can throw it on the ground and not be breaking any rules here.
